I hate seeing him like this, and I know that it’s because he’s scared something is going to happen to me and because he loves me, but I’m not backing down from this.

  “I can’t lose you either, Saint. Do you think I like you riding off and potentially never coming back? It goes both ways. Instead of fighting me, why don’t you take me with you? We can protect each other,” I say, turning to face him and looking him in the eye. “I’ll try not to be a liability.”

  Temper runs out of the clubhouse, sliding a gun into his jeans. “Let’s go. I’ve got an address. Dee and the other men are going to meet us there, and a few of them are bringing cars instead of bikes, so we can bring Hammer home.”

  Bring Hammer home.

  I’ve never wanted anything more in my life.

  Saint kisses me, deeply and hungrily, and then hands me a helmet. I put it on without any hesitation and get on the back of his bike. The engines start, like a chorus, and determination fuels me. I’m scared, terrified even, but I’m not going home without my dad.

  We ride for about twenty minutes and then come to a stop in front of a house.

  The house.

  I look at Temper and nod. Dee found it.

  “Shouldn’t we have parked down the road and walked or something?” I ask Saint as we get off the motorcycle.

  Saint passes me a handgun. “No time for being subtle. We’re going in there and shooting, and asking questions later.” He glances up and down at me. “Dee is here in his car. Go in there and wait with him.”

  “Okay.” I nod, kissing Saint. “I love you.”

  “I love you too.”

  I run toward Dee’s BMW and jump in the front seat. He parks across the road, keeping the engine on, ready to make a quick exit. Looking down at the gun in my hand, I turn to him. “What if they need more backup?”

  “Five men went in,” he says, lifting his own gun up and placing it out the window. “And I’m the sniper. So we’re good. This isn’t all done at random, Sky. We’ve planned this in case some shit went down. Every member knows what they’re supposed to be doing and where they’re supposed to be. You don’t need to worry—this isn’t our first rodeo.”

  “Interesting,” I whisper, staring at the now open door of the house where they all entered. “And what is Saint’s job?”

  “Protect Temper, and to shoot first and ask questions later,” Dee admits, eyes through the scope of the gun. “Temper protects Hammer. There’s a hierarchy, and we always have someone watching out for us, like little brothers looking out for the big brothers.”

  We hear shots firing, and I find myself on the edge of my seat, praying that the men aren’t hurt.

  “Please let them be okay,” I whisper, my fingernails digging into my palms.

  Minutes later, I see them all coming out, and Temper and Saint are carrying Hammer in their arms. He’s covered in blood and looks like he’s taken a few too many hits to the face, but he’s alive, and that’s all that matters.

  They put him in the back of the car and slam the door shut, telling Dee to take us to a hospital. I sit next to him, covering him with Dee’s jacket, which I find in the back seat. “We have to go to the hospital!”

  “I’ll follow you,” Saint tells me, running back to his bike.

  Hammer reaches over and strokes my face. “My beautiful girl, what are you doing here?”

  “Came to save you,” I tell him. “From the car, though, because my SWAT skills are seriously lacking.”

  He laughs, then winces and coughs. “Don’t make me laugh, Sky. It hurts.”

  Bracing myself, I lift up the jacket and see the gunshot wound. Holding the jacket on it to stop the bleeding, I look him in the eye, scared for him, but quickly turn my expression blank, not wanting him to see that in me.

  “For once in my life, I’ve got you, Dad. It’s always been the other way around,” I say to him, smiling sadly.

  “No it hasn’t,” he replies, closing his eyes. “I never should have let Georgia take you away from me. It doesn’t matter that she was your mother, I always loved you more, and I shouldn’t have ever let you leave your family.”

  “It doesn’t matter now. I’m here, and that’s all that matters,” I tell him, kissing his cheek.

  He nods, but I can see that he’s slowly spacing out and might lose consciousness soon. “How far away are we?” I ask Dee, keeping the pressure on the wound.

  “Five minutes,” he replies.

  “We’re almost there,” I tell Hammer, trying to keep him awake. “Don’t worry, okay? We’re almost there.”

  “What’s the code I told you, Skylar?” he asks me.

  “Six, one, seven, three,” I whisper, scanning his eyes as he opens them and looks at me. “Why? What is it for?”

  “Just remember it, okay? It’s important.”

  I’m curious, but now is not the time to worry about small details like this one.

  “I won’t forget,” I promise him. “But you can remind me what it is after we leave the hospital, okay? Trust me, I’ll have plenty of questions about what it means.”

  “You were never one to shy away from questions,” he mutters, but his lip twitches, like it’s something he likes about me.

  “Speaking of questions, what happened to Killer?” I ask Hammer.

  “Let’s just say he needs to change his road name,” he replies, panting, his face etched in pain. He takes a deep breath before continuing to speak. “You don’t have to worry about him, or any of them anymore, Skylar. I can rest easy now. You’ll be safe, and the MC will always look after you. You always have a home there, for life, all right?”

  My heart breaks with each word he utters, and fear starts to take over me.

  “There will be no resting easy for you just yet. You’re speaking like you’re not going to be here when that’s not the case, Dad. We’re almost at the hospital, aren’t we, Dee? Look, I can see it in the distance. We’re all going to be fine, including you, and tomorrow you’re going to yell at me about bringing a gun and pretending I’m some fucking heroine when in reality I have no idea what I’m doing, and I probably almost died a few times today, and...”

  I stop my rant and look at Dad, cupping his cheek tenderly, my fingers trembling.

  No.

  “Dad?” I whisper, shaking him gently. “Dee, he passed out. Dad?” I repeat. “Wake up, you need to wake up.”

  “Fuck. We’re here. Hide the weapons, Skylar, I’m going to run in and get a doctor,” he says, parking the car, then handing me his rifle and bolting inside. I hide the guns under the seat and keep talking to Dad, hoping he can hear me.

  “You know I was curious about my biological father, but I never cared about him, because I had you. If I wasn’t curious about what Mom had to say, maybe we wouldn’t be here right now. I don’t know why I cared. This is my fault,” I whisper, tears streaming down my face, my voice quivering. “I love you, Dad. More than anything.”

  Dee appears with two nurses and a stretcher. I get out of the car and watch as they place him on the stretcher, and rush him inside.

  “I’ll go wait with him,” I say to Dee.

  “I’ll make sure everyone else is okay and meet you back here,” he tells me, giving me a hug and a kiss on my temple before he leaves.

  After I rush into the hospital, the nurse tells me to sit down in the waiting room and they will let me know when I can go in to see him. So I sit there, staring at nothing, just wondering how the fuck my life came to this moment right here. Glancing down at the blood on my hands, I realize I must look how I feel.

  This year has been a whirlwind, and so many things have happened, but all I want to do is walk through those clubhouse doors and annoy the men, and see what they’re up to. I want to cook for them, and I want to laugh with them, and have a beer with them. Everything I took for granted, I want it back. I want Hammer to be okay.

  “I’ll never ask for anything else,” I whisper. “Just please let him be okay. Please. Don’t take away the only parent that I have left.”

  I’ve never prayed as much as I have today.

  And maybe that’s why I didn’t get what I wanted.

  Chapter Thirty-One

  The doctor comes straight over to me and by the look on his face, I can tell that he doesn’t have good news.

  “Are you with Xavier Dixon?” he asks, looking at my blood-covered hands. I should’ve gone to the bathroom to clean up, but I couldn’t move.

  It takes me a moment to respond. I’m not used to people using Hammer’s real name. “Yes, I’m his daughter.”

  Words have never been more true. I don’t care what Mom said about Killer’s brother—Hammer is and always will be my dad.

  “I’m sorry. We tried as best we could, but his injuries were too severe,” he says, and the second those words leave his mouth, my body freezes. I feel cold throughout my body. The tears have stopped and I’m just frozen.

  “We tried to save him,” the doctor continues. “He was shot through the stomach and in the lung, and he lost so much blood...” He glances away from me, like he can’t bear to continue talking and looking at me at the same time. “He’s gone. I’m sorry.”

  My head spins. There’s a sudden loud noise in my ears as what he’s saying hits me, like I’m trying to block the words out. Like that can save me right now.

  Shaking my head, I say, “Can I see him?” I won’t believe that he’s gone until I see it with my own eyes. He can’t be gone.

  The doctor nods and a nurse leads me to a room. Hammer lies there on the bed, blood still covering him. Stepping closer, I take his large hand in mine and hold it. I think I’m in shock, because I don’t say anything, I just stand here, numb.

  He honored his promise to me. He was the only person who loved me enough to put me first. He was the only loving parent I ever had. And now he’s gone...

  He’s not gone, he can’t be. He’s right here in front of me. I refuse to accept this.

  I don’t know how long I stand here like this, but then I’m surrounded by those I love. Saint’s arms are around me, and Temper’s burning anger and utter devastation. Renny’s warmth and Dee’s silent strength. I truly thought we were going to get out of this unscathed. I was naïve, and hopeful. I didn’t think we’d be losing Hammer, the glue that holds us all together. Without him, I don’t know who we are, or who I am.

  I don’t know if I’m a Knight. He’s the one who made me feel like I was one of the family. He was the only parent who has ever truly loved me, who wanted the best for me, and now he’s gone.

  I miss him already.

  I also miss myself, because now there’s a piece of me gone.

  Letting go of Dad’s hand, I turn around and cry into Saint’s chest.

  Hammer’s reign as the President of the Knights of Fury MC is over. All the men lower their heads and show their respect.

  The Knights’ leader is gone.

  * * *

  I don’t leave the clubhouse for two whole weeks. Saint brings me food and tries to force me to eat. I skip my classes, and I don’t see my brothers or answer calls from Max, or anyone who I would normally make time for. They try to come to the clubhouse to see me, but I won’t see them. Not yet.

  I’m a mess.

  I’ve blocked everything and everyone else out, and all I do is keep replaying what happened that day in my head. Could I have done better in the car to help him? I’m training to be a paramedic and I couldn’t do anything.

  If I’d never fallen for my mother’s bullshit, would Hammer still be alive? I cannot believe I went with her. I need help. I must be so desperate for my mother’s love that I sacrificed my own father. The whole situation might have played out differently had I not gone with her, and that’s what kills me. One little difference could have changed the outcome and Hammer would still be here right now.

  The good die young.

  Which means my mom is probably going to live forever. If I hated her before, after Hammer’s death and the part she played in it, I’ll never forgive her as long as I live.

  “You need to eat more, Skylar,” Saint says, pushing the fruit platter toward me. “I know everyone grieves in their own ways, but you need to take care of yourself. Hammer wouldn’t have wanted this.”

  “Well, he’s not here, is he?” I reply, then instantly feel guilty. It’s not just me who is grieving—they all loved him and were family to him too. They were here with him all those years I wasn’t, and they trusted him above all others.

  Saint told me how Hammer pretended he was going to take them all into war but lied to save them, sacrificing himself to get me out of there. He knew what he was going into, but he did it anyway.

  The man was fearless.

  He didn’t want me or any of his men to get hurt, but if he had let them help, he might still be alive. But then again, we might have lost someone else, and I know that wasn’t a risk he was willing to take. Like the captain of a ship, he took it as his responsibility and no other’s.

  And he was the only one left on that sinking ship.

  “I’m sorry, Saint. I’m just not myself right now. I’m a mess,” I admit, rubbing my eyes. “I just keep thinking about how it didn’t need to go this way and driving myself crazy with the what-ifs. And with everything that Mom told me, that’s messing my head up too.”

  I’d told Saint all about everything my mother had shared with me, but I’m not going to tell anyone else. It doesn’t matter, and it doesn’t change anything.

  “I know,” he replies, bracing his elbows on his knees and glancing down at the floor. “I keep wishing that I followed him when he said he was going to sort it out. I would have seen him leaving in the car and could have followed him. So I know exactly what you mean, Skylar, but it’s not helping. He’s gone, and now we have to live with that. We will never forget him. He wasn’t just the president of the Knights, he was the founder. He made this family himself.”

  I open my arms and Saint falls into them. I stroke his back, offering him the comfort he’s been giving me this entire time. “You’re right, Saint. It’s just so hard here without him. I keep expecting him to stick his head inside my room and ask me if I’m hungry, or if I want to come sit outside with him and have a chat.”

  I know things will get better. When I lost Shauna, I felt exactly like this, and while the pain never goes away, you learn to live with it. You adapt. You survive. You bury that agony, pushing it all the way down until it can resurface only in moments of weakness.

  I survived losing my best friend, and I will also survive losing my dad.

  It’s just going to take me some time before I’m ready to face the world again.

  * * *

  A week later I’m back in classes, playing catch-up because I missed so much that I had to beg not to be kicked out. Using it as the perfect distraction, I bury myself into school and work, keeping myself so busy that I don’t have time to think about anything except the task at hand. I finally quit the bar job Hammer always hated, wanting to honor one of the many things he wished for me.

  I visit with Logan, Sabrina and all my brothers, who have come to spend time with me. That includes Axel and Smith, who are finally back in town. I fill them all in on what Mom did. I’ve never seen grown men so upset and sickened before. Logan had to excuse himself and Brooks broke a glass. They couldn’t believe everything she had done. Logan tries to remember my biological father, but according to him, my mother had a lot of male “friends” back then.

  I love my family, but I don’t think I’m going to live with Logan and Sabrina anymore, preferring to be at the clubhouse with Saint now. We talked about getting our own place, but for now, I want to stay. I feel closer to Hammer there, and I love being with Saint every night, and waking up to him every morning.

  Life is short, and from now on I’m going to live my life how I want to, not how I’m told I should.

  Renny told me that Killer and his two henchmen were on the news, reported as missing people. The abandoned house also somehow caught on fire, and because it’s in the middle of nowhere, it was a long time before anyone called the fire department to contain it.

  I don’t know who actually shot who, and I want to leave it that way. Temper said that if the police come knocking, he already has a plan on how to handle it. I’m guessing if any of us are going to get pinned for the deaths or the fire, it’s going to be Hammer. I doubt he’d mind. The fire would have gotten rid of the bodies but not the teeth, so I don’t know what Temper did to cover their tracks, but he told me it’s all under control and I have nothing to worry about.

  The world is better off without Killer and his thugs anyway. I don’t know where my mom disappeared to after I saw her, but she wasn’t in the house when Saint and the men got there. Bitch is probably back on the farm feeding the horses and pretending she’s the quintessential housewife to an unsuspecting Neville. She got what she wanted—Hammer is gone—but I don’t think she realized what she was giving up by her selfish actions. All of my brothers have cut contact with her. They’ve blocked her numbers and told her, in no uncertain words, that they never want to see or speak to her ever again.

  I wish I felt satisfaction at that. But I don’t. There is no way for me to take legal action against her without implicating the Knights, so that is also out of the question.

  I feel nothing when I think of her, other than disappointment mixed with anger.

  “Temper is stepping up as our president,” Saint tells me one day when we’re sitting outside, staring at the sky and having a drink.

  I nod. “I thought that would happen. Does that mean you move up to vice president?”

  “Yeah,” Saint replies, reaching out and touching my arm. “Means I’ll be busier, taking care of things for the club, and have more responsibility. Temper wants to reach out and get more members as well. Hammer preferred us to be a smaller, tightknit chapter, but we want to expand. The more people we have behind us, the less likely someone will want to fuck with us. We want to be a force to be reckoned with. Are you going to be okay with all of this?”