I’m still early when I get to the café, so I take my time in the staff room before clocking in.

  “We have the worst crew on today,” Max whispers to me when I’m within earshot. “We’re basically going to have to be doing the work for everyone.”

  “You haven’t quit yet?” I ask, softly laughing. “After the weekend I thought you’d come in today with your resignation.”

  “Oh, I’m going on to bigger and better things,” he assures me, picking up a tea towel and folding it neatly. “I’m just not going to quit until my bank account reflects my ambition.”

  “Smart,” I agree, nodding. I glance at the roster, and cringe when I read all the names of the young, new staff. “And you’re right. We’re going to be doing all the work today.”

  “Told you.”

  “Lucky you’re filled with ambition,” I tease.

  “Not for this job, I’m not,” he grumbles, scrubbing a hand down his face. “Did you send the letter to your jailbird?”

  I stifle a groan. Over food after his concert, I ended up telling Max about Saint, and the letters, and he’s pretty much all Max has wanted to discuss ever since.

  “Yes, I did,” I say, dusting something invisible off my shirt and avoiding eye contact. “And don’t make me regret telling you about him.”

  “No, it was nice to know something personal about you. You’re so closed off, Sky. And between us, I kind of thought that maybe you were asexual.”

  “Just because my door isn’t revolving like yours?” I fire back, scowling. “I’m very...uhh...sexual, I’ll have you know.”

  He blinks slowly, then bursts out laughing. “‘Uhh sexual’? I said asexual.”

  “You’re an idiot. Besides, even if I were asexual, there is nothing wrong with that,” I declare, quieting down when a customer walks in.

  Just because I’m not actively having sex doesn’t mean that I’m not sexual, or that I couldn’t be. I think about sex a lot; I just haven’t met that person that I want to experience all those things with. No one has caught my eye or held my attention. I’ve been on a few dates in my time, but nothing ever came of it. I don’t think I’ve been saving myself for Saint or anything like that, but no one better than him has ever shown up in my life. I’ve never felt that draw, that pull, that connection like the one I had with him, even if I was only young then.

  I’m still young now.

  I don’t know, maybe I’ve yet to meet the one, or maybe I’ve already met him.

  I guess only time will tell.

  Chapter Six

  Skylar,

  I hope you are well. I wish we could have this conversation in person. Your mother made it clear we were to have no contact with you, and that if we did, the consequences would fall on you and the MC. We didn’t know what to do. She knew a lot about the MC, and we didn’t know what she was capable of. At the end of the day, you were her daughter, and she held all the power. I might not have been there to get you through your loss, or be by your side while your leg healed, but you were in my thoughts.

  We never forgot you.

  Tell me everything else I’ve missed out on.

  I have nothing but time.

  Saint

  Placing the letter down on my thigh, teeth clenched, my mind roams back to a conversation I had with my mother after she broke up with Hammer. We were on our way to the country, the city becoming farther and farther away in the rearview mirror.

  “Did Hammer call you to say bye?” she asks me, tone smug.

  “No,” I reply, glancing down at my phone, which has zero notifications. “Did he call you, Mom?”

  “He tried,” she says, shrugging. “But I’m done with him. And if he cared about you like he said he did, he would have contacted you by now. Guess it was all a lie.”

  My chest tightens, just like it did back then, at the thought of the man I considered my father, the only father I’ve ever known, not loving me or fighting to have me in his life. My mother always played the card that Hammer didn’t want me without her, and that because they were over, I was no longer of any use to him. Like his love of me was just an extension of her and didn’t have its own depth. I’m not going to lie—it cut me, deep.

  But what Saint is saying—if it’s the truth, which I’m pretty sure it is—means my mother purposely and maliciously lied to me. She made it out like Hammer didn’t care about me when that wasn’t true. Maybe it was the other way around—maybe he didn’t care about her and she couldn’t take that. I don’t know what to believe anymore.

  There’s only one person I want to talk to, so I drive straight to her house.

  * * *

  “What are you doing here, Sky?” Mom asks as I get out of my car. She’s sitting on the grass, weeding, a large, wide-brimmed hat shielding her from the sun. At fifty-five you’d think life would be slowing down for her, but she still looks and acts like she’s not a day over forty. I hope I take after her in this way when I’m older. “Is everything all right?”

  It’s easy to tell that I rarely drop by unannounced. Now that I’m here, the words don’t seem to come. I kind of don’t want to tell her about Saint’s letter, because I can only imagine what her reaction will be. She will be angry and want to know every detail, and I haven’t seen that side of her in a long time.

  “Yeah, everything is fine. Was just passing by so thought I’d drop in and say hello,” I lie.

  “That’s nice of you,” she replies, studying me. I don’t know how my mother went from leather pants and streaked hair to overalls and gardening, but she did, turning her life around and landing herself a well-off farmer. It’s like she changes herself to match whoever she’s with, and I don’t really think that is a very attractive trait. I hope I never do that. However, I must admit that her new husband is a good influence on her, because she has changed for the better since marrying him.

  “What have you and Neville been up to?” I ask her, trying to make conversation.

  “Nothing much since we last spoke,” she murmurs, removing her hat and wiping the sweat from her brow, her red hair pasted against her forehead. “He’s in there making a roast for dinner. Do you want to stay? You look a little thin, Sky. I think you need to eat more.”

  “Oh, no, it’s okay, Mom. I’ve got food at home waiting for me,” I lie.

  “If you insist. We spent the day feeding and watering the animals. We have a new foal, if you want to go see her. Neville said you can name her, if you want to.”

  “I’d love to,” I reply earnestly. I think the thing I love the most about visiting here is seeing all their animals. “So, I was thinking about Dad...uh, Hammer today.”

  I clench my jaw as I wait for her reply.

  “He’s not your father,” she says to me in a gentle tone, placing her handful of weeds in the bucket then turning to me. “We’ve had this conversation so many times over the years, Sky. That’s not our life anymore, and they are dead to us. We are so much happier out here, and much safer. The best decision I made was moving us away from that life.”

  “I guess I just don’t understand how he could just stop caring about me,” I say in a voice much too small. “Did he ever try to contact me, or speak to me? Or even ask how I was?”

  “No,” she says instantly, jaw tightening. Her green eyes flash and show me a glimpse of the angry old lady she used to be. “He didn’t. How many years has it been? Why are you still asking about them? That was another life, and one I don’t want to revisit. Hammer wasn’t a good man, none of the Knights were, and they don’t give two shits about you. You deserve so much better than what they gave you, Sky, and I’m sorry I made you grow up in that environment at all. It was stupid of me. I should have found a nice man like Neville much earlier than I did, instead of getting involved with a...criminal.”

  Swallowing hard, I nod. This is all I’m ever going to get out of her. She doesn’t want to speak about them, and I can’t force her. “Yeah, I guess you’re right.”

  Neville comes out, smiling when he sees me. He’s a kind man, and I genuinely do like him. I have to give my mother credit—she has great taste. She always finds men who are better than she is.

  “Skylar, hello! Will you be joining us for dinner?” he asks.

  “No, sorry, Nev. I was just in the area and thought I’d say hello,” I say, standing up and brushing the grass off my butt. “And I should probably get going.”

  The foal will have to wait, because right now all I want to do is get away from my mother. I don’t know why I’ve stayed out in the country with her when I could easily move back to the city and be close to the rest of my siblings and the life I knew before I was dragged out here. I guess I got comfortable and stayed because it was easy. In a messed up way, I also think I see my mom as the only one who has ever stuck by me, so I did the same for her. The MC didn’t come for me. My brothers left me. Mom was the only one who didn’t leave.

  “I’ll see you soon,” I say, waving quickly before disappearing into my car.

  I might not know who Saint is anymore, but I do know who my mother is, and it wouldn’t surprise me if she’s been lying to me this entire time.

  Only one person can clear this up for me, and that’s Hammer himself.

  Chapter Seven

  I don’t write back to Saint, because I don’t know what to say to him. That it’s nice that they all wanted to reach out to me, but no one did? I still have the same number, and there’s no excuse that no one called me or sent me a message. It hurts when I think of it like that.

  I don’t know what to think, and I don’t know why they let my mom win so easily. They are a MC, but they let one woman dictate their actions? It makes no sense, and maybe everything Saint is saying is just a bunch of excuses to relieve their guilt. Even with all these thoughts running in my head, I decide to move back to the only place that felt like home. I’m doing it for me, not for them.

  I reach out to someone I haven’t spoken to in a while: my oldest brother, Logan. When I ask him if I can stay with him until I find my own place in the city, he agrees, and even sounds happy to have me.

  After putting in my two weeks’ notice at work, I know that I have to tell Max that I’m leaving. To soften the blow, I bake a cheesecake, buy some beer and order pizza. He knows something is up the second he walks in, going by the way he eyes me suspiciously.

  “Did someone die?” he asks, frowning. “Ooh, you baked cheesecake. The last time you baked cheesecake was when Otis got run over. Did our cat die?”

  “We don’t have another cat,” I remind him. “No one has died.” I take a deep breath and look him in the eye. “I’ve decided that I’m going to move back to the city. I’m sorry, and I’m going to miss you so much, but we can all visit each other, and—”

  “You’re leaving me?” Max asks, brow furrowing. “Why would you want to move when your family is here? I’m here!”

  “I just need a change, and I want to go back to college and reconnect with my other family, and... I don’t know. I just need a change, okay? You are the only good part about living here. Otherwise, my job is shit—all I do is work and still struggle to make ends meet. My mother only sees me on her terms and we aren’t even close no matter how much I try and pretend we are, and...”

  And Saint.

  And the Knights.

  I don’t know why, but they are calling me, and I need to find out the truth about everything.

  Max sighs and wraps his arm around me. “I’ll be doing gigs in the city soon, so it’s not the end of the world, but do you know how shitty it’s going to be not coming home to you? You make this place a home, Sky. You.”

  Feeling the tears prickling my eyes, I blink rapidly and glance away from them. “I’ll still be your home. Just...a movable home.”

  Max chuckles and pulls me against him. “This better be the best damn cheesecake ever.”

  Smiling sadly, I grab the plastic plates and hand him one. “We still have each other.” I look him in the eye. “Okay?” He nods.

  After he devours the cheesecake, I head into my room to start packing my things. About two hours later, I hear Max call for me in the living room.

  “What the hell are you doing?” I ask as I find Max waiting for me with a mischievous grin on his face. That’s when I glance down and notice the water gun in his hands. He quickly aims for me and I duck, the stream of water hitting the wall. “Oh my god, we are so not getting our deposit back. Get outside with that!”

  I run after him, trying to chase him outside, only to get hit in the face with a stream of water. “I’m going to kill you!”

  Max laughs while I run to grab his extra water gun and start filling it up in the sink. “You’re not going to live long enough to be famous!”

  I hear him laughing harder from outside and decide to follow him out there with my now loaded gun. He has his speaker playing outside, and when I hear what he’s listening to, I laugh out loud.

  “Oh my god, are you playing your own music for everyone? You’re such a lo—”

  A bucket of water is tipped over my head.

  And then he throws me in the air, over his shoulder, and my damn weapon falls to the ground. I must resemble a raging bull, because I’m fighting to be let go, kicking and screaming until he puts me back down.

  “You are going to pay for that!”

  “What are you going to do?” he presses, arching his brow. “All talk, Sky. You are all talk. You love it. And you’re going to miss the shit out of me while you’re back in the fancy city.”

  His words have never been more true. The truth is that Max is the only thing making me second-guess my decision. He has become my family, and even though he drives me crazy, I’m going to miss him so much. But if I stay here I know I’m not going to be moving forward. I’ll be stuck in this rut I seem to have gotten myself in, and I need change.

  My heart is telling me to go home.

  To where it all started for me.

  I throw my hands up in the air, making a promise. “I’m never living with a boy again!”

  “I love you, Sky!” Max calls out.

  Shit, I love him too.

  Goodbye is going to be harder than I thought.

  * * *

  “I don’t know why you are going back, Skylar. There is nothing there for you,” Mom says with her chin in the air. Strategically, I’d decided to tell her about the move in front of Neville, knowing that she won’t react too harshly with him there, wanting to keep her true self hidden.

  “All my brothers are there, Mom,” I point out, keeping my tone even. “I’m the only one who isn’t.”

  She waves her hand in the air. “You were never even that close with your brothers. Who is going to look after you over there? And you know Neville likes our weekly dinners.”

  I don’t miss how she says Neville enjoys the dinners, not her. She’s changing, losing the sweet mother façade and returning to a woman I remember well.

  Gritting my teeth, I manage to get out, “Well, hopefully that will change now, and I will become closer with them,” without losing my temper.

  I’m looking forward to reconnecting with them all again, and there’s nothing she can do to stop that. I hardly keep in contact with them anymore. We call each other on our birthdays, and sometimes I see them on Christmas, but that’s about it. Like Mom said, we aren’t close, and I hate it. And if I’m being honest, part of it is my fault. I always had this irrational sense to stick by my mom. And look what it’s given me. Nothing.

  She’s so against me leaving, but I don’t understand why. It’s obvious she doesn’t want me in contact with any of the Knights, but is that the only reason? It’s not like we see each other that often. I don’t so much as get a “Happy Birthday” from her unless Neville is there and she wants to put on a show. I visit her because she’s my mother, and at the end of the day, I get only one of those. And I respect her because she gave birth to and raised me. She’s far from perfect, but yeah, she’s all I really have. And she has been much nicer up until I brought up Hammer.

  “I’m sure at her age she would much rather be in the city, Georgia,” Neville says, rubbing his palm along her shoulder. “Must get boring out here. We don’t have many shops, or clubs—”

  “Or bikers,” Mom mutters under her breath.

  “What was that, dear?” Neville asks, none the wiser.

  “Oh, nothing, honey. I’m just worried about her being in the city,” Mom lies, giving me a filthy look when he’s not paying attention.

  “Her brothers will look after her,” he continues, smiling over at me. “And I’m sure we can come for a visit once she’s settled in. I like seeing you every week, but you need to do what is best for you.”

  “I’ve already applied for a few jobs, so hopefully I will have work as soon as I get there. It’s a fresh start, and I’m pretty excited about it.”

  Because my bank balance isn’t going to allow for anything else, but also because I’m going to need money to put me through college.

  “Do you need any money?” offers Neville, God bless him. “Just for you to get set up. Does Logan have a bed for you? We could pay for you to get one if you like, or anything else you need for your bedroom there.”

  “That’s very kind of you, but I couldn’t accept. I will be fine, don’t worry about me. Logan said he does have a bed, and I have gas money to get there, so I’m good,” I assure him, thanking him again for his kind gesture. It means a lot to me that someone cares, even if it isn’t my own mother.

  Although the money would be wonderful, I don’t feel right taking it from him, or from anyone, for that matter. I made the mistake of asking my mother for financial help right when I graduated high school. I foolishly believed she had a nest egg for me, a college fund. She told me, and I quote, “I raised you for eighteen years and I no longer owe you anything. You’re on your own, kid.”

  I never asked again. That’s part of the reason I never enrolled in college too. I had no way to pay for it.