But I’m an adult and I know how to make things work on my own. I need to figure out what I’m going to do with my life. I want more than to serve coffee every day, no offense to people who serve coffee. I just want...more. I can’t be relying on anyone else, especially not my mother’s new husband, because I have no doubt that she will bring it up and use it against me at some point. Mom has never worked a day in her life and has always lived off men, and I want to make sure I’m never like that. I want to be independent, earn my own money and have a future. It’s time I figure out what that future is.

  “Are you sure? You know I don’t mind—”

  “I’m sure she will be fine,” Mom cuts him off, shooting me a you’re on your own now look. “She’s an independent woman, aren’t you, Skylar?” she asks, as if she can read my mind.

  “I like to think so,” I reply, squaring my shoulders.

  The second Neville disappears into the kitchen to get us some coffee, Mom is on me. “You came here the other day bringing up Hammer, and now you’re telling me you’re moving back there? If this has anything to do with him, you’re more of a foolish girl than I thought. If you think you can just walk into that clubhouse...he will kill you, Skylar.”

  Hammer would never hurt me, and I know that for a fact. She let that man raise me, but the second they broke up he’s bad news? It makes no sense, and I don’t really believe anything she says anymore.

  “I never said anything about walking into that clubhouse or even seeing them,” I say. “I know I’m not one of them anymore, Mom. I want to make something of myself, and here I’m just wasting away.”

  “The only thing you want to make of yourself is some biker’s slut. If you think Saint still even remembers who you are, you have another thing coming,” she whisper-yells.

  My jaw drops.

  One, because I never knew that she knew I had a thing for Saint, and two, because how dare she say that to me? She couldn’t possibly be more hypocritical if she tried.

  “A biker’s slut? You mean what you were?” I fire back, unable to contain my anger any longer. She was an old lady, so I know it’s not exactly true, but she was still with a biker and lived that lifestyle, so she can’t talk. “Bit hypocritical of you, isn’t it? I wouldn’t have even known that life if it wasn’t for you, so don’t act like any of this is my fault. Perhaps if you told me who my real father was I wouldn’t have to go around looking for father figures. Or is it that you don’t even know, mother dearest?”

  With that, I stand and head to the kitchen to tell Neville I have to leave early. I give him a hug and tell him thank you for always being so kind to me, and then get in my car and drive back home.

  Home. Or at least my home for the next few days.

  Can I still call it that?

  Chapter Eight

  Happiness is wind in my hair and a road trip leading to a fresh start. Music pumping, I try to push away the sadness at saying goodbye to Max, and leaving him standing outside watching my car disappear down the road. I know I’ll see him again, but it’s the end of an era, and I can’t pretend that it’s not.

  I’m not sure how I’m going to navigate life without him, but I’m going to find out.

  I finally answered Saint’s letter, telling him about the move and not to reply to my old address anymore. I didn’t give away too much information, but I wanted him to know that I could no longer be reached there. I guess I did want him to know I’ll be closer to him too, even if I don’t know what that is going to mean just yet.

  I see a familiar face when I stop for gas, the man with the mustache who tried to talk to me at the bar. He pretends like he doesn’t notice me, and I’m more than okay with that, so I too ignore him, pay for my gas and leave.

  I arrive at Logan’s a few hours later. I’m ashamed to admit I’ve been to his house only once before, and that was when we all had Christmas together about two years ago. His wife, Sabrina, seemed nice enough the one time I met her, and I hope that she doesn’t mind that I’m going to be staying here for a while. Knocking on the door, suitcase dragging behind me, I take a deep breath and wait as I hear the door opening.

  “Sky, you made it,” Logan says, green eyes smiling. He pulls me in for an awkward hug, then steps back and gestures for me to enter. “Come in.”

  “Thanks, Logan,” I reply, stepping through with my suitcase.

  “Here, let me take that for you.”

  “Thanks. Where’s Sabrina?” I ask, following behind him into the kitchen.

  “She’s at work. Do you want something to eat or drink? Or should I show you your room first?” he asks, running his hand through his brown hair, looking a little unsure.

  “I ate on the way, so I’m okay.”

  “Room it is,” he murmurs, gesturing upstairs. “You have the whole upstairs area to yourself.”

  “Thanks for letting me stay here, Logan,” I say as he carries my suitcase up the stairs. “I know we haven’t spoken much recently, and—”

  “We’re still family, Sky,” he says, cutting me off. “And if you need me, I’m here for you. All right?”

  “All right, thanks,” I say softly, not expecting such kind words from him.

  He shows me my bedroom, which is larger than I had anticipated, with a queen-sized bed and walk-in closet for my clothes. It even has a bathroom attached.

  “I can’t remember the last time I didn’t have to share a bathroom,” I admit, smiling over at him. “This is amazing, Logan.”

  “Good thing I bought a four-bedroom house, right?” He grins, glancing around. “We planned it so we wouldn’t have to move when we had kids, but...” He trails off, shrugging. Mom had mentioned to me that Logan and Sabrina were trying to conceive, but were having no luck. He hasn’t said anything to me about it personally, though, so I decide not to comment. If he wants to talk to me about it, that’s up to him.

  “Hopefully I will find a job this week and be out of your hair before you know it.”

  “There’s no rush,” he quickly says, placing his hands in his pockets. “It’s been a while since I’ve gotten to spend some time with you, especially with Mom not around. It will be nice. I told Brooks and Seth to come over for dinner this weekend, so it will be a mini-sibling reunion. Shame the rest of them aren’t around.”

  Smith and Axel are currently overseas, traveling and working together around the world. Last I heard they were in Northern Ireland. They both used to have corporate jobs, but one day they packed up and left, starting their own travel blog, which is increasing in popularity every day.

  “Yeah, but that still sounds really nice, actually,” I say, sitting down on the bed. “It’s been a while since we’ve been together. And whenever Smith and Axel get home, I’ll be around to catch up with them properly.” I haven’t seen them all since the last Christmas we spent together, which was two years ago.

  He nods. “It has. Too long. Well, Sabrina changed the sheets for you and put a fresh towel in the bathroom. Anything else you need, let me know. Make yourself feel at home.”

  Before he heads back downstairs, I stand up, step toward him and give him a big hug.

  A proper hug.

  One with my arms around his waist, my cheek pressed against him, and my eyes closed.

  He didn’t have to look after me like this, but I’m grateful that he is.

  He squeezes me back, then steps away, flashing me a sheepish smile.

  “Thank you,” I say once more.

  “Don’t mention it, baby sis,” he replies, then disappears.

  Lying back on my new bed, I stare up at the ceiling and smile.

  * * *

  “Why aren’t you in the kitchen cooking?” Brooks asks me that weekend, smirking. “Is Sabrina in there doing all the work?”

  “No, actually, Logan is cooking. Sabrina and I did the dessert, though. Also, stop being a pig—it’s 2019,” I tell him, frowning. “Let me guess, you’re still single?”

  Brooks and I still rub each other the wrong way, but in a sibling way. We are only a year apart, so you’d think we’d get on better, but nope. Fire and ice.

  I’m fiery, and he’s cold. But I still love him.

  “Yeah, he is,” Seth laughs, taking his own cap off then resettling it back on his head. “I’ve never even seen him with a girlfriend.”

  “The type of women I like aren’t the ones you bring home,” Brooks adds, raising his brows suggestively. He then looks around the room. “And I don’t see your woman here anyway, Seth. Where is she?”

  “At work,” Seth replies, returning his gaze to the TV and then toward me. “You never told us why you suddenly decided to move here, not that we aren’t happy you’re close to us now. Mom driving you crazy?”

  Now all eyes are suddenly on me.

  “Okay, well, there was nothing there for me in the country. I want to make a career for myself, and I want a change. I only had Mom there and it’s not like I was spending more than an hour a week with her, so...” I trail off, shifting in my seat.

  “Are you going to go to college?” Seth asks, pushing his glasses back up on his nose. He’s the only one of my brothers who has a degree, so of course it’s him asking me that. “You’re a smart girl, Sky. You could do anything you want. Didn’t you want to be a vet growing up?”

  I nod. “I did, yeah.”

  “So why don’t you make it happen?” he asks, studying me. “I told you that working in that café was a waste of your time.”

  “Having money to eat and pay rent was kind of necessary, Seth,” I tell him, rolling my eyes. “And I didn’t come here for an interrogation, okay? I am going to go to college. I want to do something where I can help people and actually make a difference.”

  “Leave her alone,” Logan chastises, and it feels so good to finally have someone on my side for once. “She’s here, and that’s all that matters right now. She’s trying to do something new. She’s never even been away from Mom before, so let’s cut her some slack, all right?”

  “Excuse me, you guys are acting like I’ve been living with Mom all of this time when I haven’t. I’ve just been in the same town as her. She hasn’t been supporting me, financially or otherwise, for a long time. Just because you guys all bailed long before I was of legal age doesn’t make my situation any different,” I tell him, frowning. “So don’t give me any shit just because I’m a girl and the youngest.”

  They all stay silent for a few seconds, and then Brooks says, “Is it too early to crack open that bottle of vodka I bought?”

  “You only brought one?” I ask, lip twitching, glancing at each of my brothers’ faces.

  He throws his head back and laughs, then stands up and heads to the front door to go to his car, I’m assuming. “This is an O’Connor gathering. Of course I didn’t just bring one bottle. I’ll go and get my stash.”

  “He has a bottle shop in his car?” Seth asks, looking a mixture of impressed and horrified.

  “Georgia O’Connor raised him. Of course he does,” Logan mutters.

  I don’t miss all the digs made at Mom, but no one says anything directly to me, and I’m not sure how they feel about her.

  However, I feel like there’s something I’m missing, and I’m going to find out what it is.

  Chapter Nine

  “Well, that’s what Hammer said,” Seth says to Brooks, making my ears prick up.

  “You’ve spoken to Hammer?” I ask him, sitting down next to him on the couch and looking him in the eye. We’ve all been vegging out in the living room, catching up on life, eating and watching movies. I forgot how much I love hanging out with all of them. “How is he?”

  “Yeah, he checks in on us every now and again,” Seth says, biting the inside of his lip. “Makes sure we aren’t in any trouble. Not that we tell Mom that. She’d kill us if she knew.”

  So Saint was right. Mom didn’t want Hammer to have anything to do with us, not the other way around.

  “She told me that he doesn’t care about any of us, and that he never once tried to make contact,” I say, glancing between them.

  “That’s bullshit. He’s always asking how you are,” Seth admits, eyes softening on me.

  “How come no one told me about this?”

  “I don’t know. You were over there with Mom, and we didn’t know what you were thinking, or if she had gotten into your head about Hammer.”

  “Mom never wanted to give up her control of you, Sky,” Brooks adds, shrugging. “Trust me, it was just easier to stay away from all of that.”

  “You’re an asshole,” I tell him, digging my fingers into my palm. “You all had some kind of brotherhood going on and I was left in the dark, being told that Hammer and the MC washed their hands of me the same time they did Mom.”

  “You were only sixteen when you left, Sky,” Logan adds, sitting down and joining the conversation. “We didn’t want you dragged into some drama, and thought maybe it was best that you were away from it all out there in the country. Neville is a sweet guy, and Mom has been playing nice because of him, so we figured we’d leave it be.”

  “Why did you want nothing to do with the MC?” I ask him, something I have always wondered.

  Logan winces and rubs the back of his neck. “You know that I never felt at home there. I remember walking into the clubhouse one time with Mom. I was like seventeen, but we were a little early and I saw something I wasn’t meant to.” He shakes his head, as if trying to forget the memory. “And Mom acted like it was fucking normal, when it wasn’t. I just remember thinking, what the fuck am I doing here? It wasn’t the life I wanted, and I never really clicked with any of the men. I remember you as a kid, coming home after you got into a fight, because the other kids judged you because of your parents. I didn’t like that. I don’t know. It was just never my home, Sky. Ever. I know it was yours, and that’s okay, but it wasn’t for me. Hammer was a different man to you than he was to the rest of us. He saw you as his daughter, but we weren’t his sons. We never called him Dad, and he never did for us the things he did for you.”

  “I never thought of it that way,” I whisper, not knowing what to say. He’s right, they never did call Hammer “Dad,” and I guess it’s because they’re older and remember their own father. Hammer obviously cared about them all, I don’t doubt that for a second, but maybe he didn’t have the same bond with them that he did with me. I suddenly feel a little sad about that. We should have all been treated equally no matter what. We should have always stuck together, but we didn’t.

  “And we knew when you were old enough you’d get sick of Mom’s shit,” Brooks says, smirking. “Took a bit longer than we thought, but that’s okay.”

  “How about a fucking invitation or something? I had no idea if I was even welcome here. Our family isn’t exactly the Brady Bunch, and nothing was the same after I moved away. You barely kept in touch with me, and now I feel like the baby, the lone black sheep or something,” I grumble, crossing my arms.

  “Ah, come on, don’t pout,” Seth grumbles in return, reaching out and touching my shoulder. “We should have put in more effort to keep in contact with you. It was just hard, because then we had to deal with Mom, and that’s not always easy. Especially when it comes to you.”

  “What does that even mean? Especially when it comes to me?” I ask him.

  He glances away, looking to Logan for some help.

  “Mom’s just really weird when it comes to you,” Logan admits, a look of sadness passing in his gaze. “It’s like if we ask about you, or show interest in you, she doesn’t like it and wants to bring the attention back to her. I don’t know...it’s almost like she sees you as competition. And I know this isn’t a really nice thing to say or whatever, but that’s just how I see it. I feel like she’s jealous of you, and always has been. She was the queen, surrounded by all these boys doting on her, and then you came along. The last sibling, beautiful, smart. We all fell in love with you. Including Hammer and his men. And she didn’t like that.”

  Eyes wide, I sit back in my chair and take a deep breath. I’ve never thought about this from that perspective before. I knew I wasn’t Mom’s favorite, but it never crossed my mind that she was jealous of me.

  Why would she be? It’s true that the men in the MC tended to spoil me growing up, and my brothers always cared for me. Could it be possible that my own mother didn’t like that? The thought is foreign to me. What kind of mother feels that way about her only daughter?

  “I don’t even know what to say right now...” I glance around at my brothers, taking them each in individually. Brooks looks more like me, with his red hair and green eyes, but Seth and Logan have brown hair and brown eyes like their dad.

  “Which is why we never said anything,” Logan continues, running his hand through his dark brown hair. “How do you tell your little sister something like that? It’s complicated, makes no sense and is kind of twisted.”

  “It’s not like Mom was mean to you or anything,” Brooks adds in, shrugging. “She just...is more of a boys’ mom.”

  I roll my eyes at him. “Seriously? All of you seem to think she’s crazy, so she can’t have been that great of a mother to all of you, either.”

  “She is crazy,” Logan agrees, making the others chuckle. “She has her good moments. She’s not evil. She just has a very...unpredictable side to her. She’s manipulative and can be quite conniving when she needs to be.”

  “Understatement,” Seth adds, standing behind me and resting his hands on my shoulders. “You’re out of her grasp now, that’s all that matters. And if you want to go and see Hammer, you can. She doesn’t control your life anymore.”

  “Have any of you seen or spoken to Saint?” I dare ask. I have no idea if they knew about my crush on him or not.

  “Nope,” Logan replies, shaking his head. “We’ve only spoken to Hammer. Why? Still have that stupid-ass crush on him?”

  I’ll take that as confirmation that they knew.