He scrubs a hand over his chin and nods. “Whatever you want, babe,” He looks like he wants to say more, but he just asks, “Are you planning on coming to dinner tomorrow night?”

  I stand and shake my head slowly. “You’ve all hosted me for long enough. I should get back to my place, restock the fridge, and clean. There has to be a thick layer of dust by now.”

  “What’s that mean?”

  “It’s dirty.”

  He shakes his head. “About the hosting?”

  I glance down at my feet, feeling more uneasy and sadder than I thought possible. “I’m going to skip a week. Let you guys have a family meal without me.”

  He smiles, but the light doesn’t reach his eyes. His lips are tight, and he’s got a fist clenched over his chest. “Whatever you want, Chloe. Will I see you at the install tomorrow? Vito and his buddies were planning on being at your shop around eight.”

  I nod. “Absolutely. And you’ll see me at Easy Start on Monday.”

  This feels absolutely horrific. Way worse than what I’d imagined. He’s not asking me to stay. He’s not asking to see me again. He’s not saying much of anything.

  It was just sex, Chloe, I remind myself. Franco is gorgeous and probably has lots of flings like this.

  We hardly know each other. I have to remind myself that this didn’t mean to him what it did to me. Just because I’ve been more real and more open doesn’t mean that what’s happening in my heart is happening in his.

  My legs feel weak, but I stand and give Franco my most sincere smile. “Thank you so, so much for all you’ve done.” I laugh and there are tears behind it, so I can’t let it go on too long. “You’re…” I trail off because I can’t finish without crying.

  He knows what he is. I’m the one who doesn’t know what she is. Not anymore. He only helped me see a side of myself that I want to develop. And for that, I am truly thankful.

  I want to touch him, throw myself against that bare chest and thank him, but I know if I smell him again, the musk and cologne of his skin against mine, I will start sobbing. So I don’t. I grab my things in a rush and try to brighten my voice to cover the quivering.

  “So, this was fun,” I say a little too maniacally as I grab my bags.

  I lug my things down the stairs, and Franco stays at the top, just watching me.

  “Five-star review. Would highly recommend.”

  The coffee I made is untouched in the kitchen, which I notice as I’m frantically scouring the counter for my keys.

  “Don’t forget to turn off the coffee!” I yell, reminding him because his memory is shit when it comes to things like appliances. “Will you be there tomorrow?” I ask. “At the shop.” But then I realize that sounds like I’m asking him to see me again, and I don’t want to pin him down. Don’t want to assume. “No worries either way.”

  I find my keys, and with Franco still at the top of the stairs looking down, I slide into my boots. “See you soon,” I call out awkwardly, hustling out the front door.

  And that’s all the goodbye I can manage. I tug the door closed behind me, throw my stuff in my trunk, and get into my car. And by some miracle, I am able to keep the tears from flowing until I pull away.

  13

  Franco

  I knew letting her go would be a mistake.

  But I did nothing to stop her because I’m an idiot and somehow convinced myself she needed space.

  I’ve parked my truck outside Latterature, but it’s early. Way too early. It looks like I’m here before Chloe, and anxiety spikes through my chest. I’m worried, first and foremost, because after she left in such a rush yesterday, I didn’t hear from her. Not a call, not a text. Not a damn word.

  I rake a hand through my hair and check my phone for the millionth time. I hardly slept a wink last night, wondering if she’d made it home safe. If her place was okay. If she was able to sleep. If she missed being with me.

  We’d talked plenty about her going back to Ann’s to pay the rent in the days before it was due. What we never talked about was what it all meant. What we’d do after she bought herself another month in Ann’s place.

  Ann’s place. Yeah, I say that because it doesn’t feel right calling it Chloe’s place. The last couple weeks, I’ve been acting as though Chloe’s place is with me.

  But is it?

  I’ve got to admit, something in me panicked and shut down hard when my ma showed up yesterday.

  She absolutely knows I’ve been with Chloe. There’s no way she can’t know. And although we’ve kept things cool around my family, bringing Chloe to two family dinners… That was a first. A first that I assured myself was fine, didn’t mean anything. But when Ma showed up, acting like she did, I started freaking out. And my level of freak-out boiled over like a pot filled to the top with water when Ma told me why she’d dropped in yesterday.

  As usual, I hadn’t been answering my phone—because sex—so Ma stopped by my place yesterday to see Chloe, not me.

  I see the lights go on in the shop, so I get out of the truck and jog up to the store. I knock lightly on the door. I see soft shadows under Chloe’s eyes when she looks up at me. She looks like she got as little sleep as I did, but she smiles at me as she unlocks the door and lets me in.

  “Hey,” I say softly, wanting nothing more than to touch her.

  Her face falls completely as she peers over my shoulder.

  “Hey, asshole.” Vito claps me on the back as he walks up behind me. “Chloe.” His voice is so sweet when he says her name. “This is Evan.”

  She smiles at them both, her eyes never meeting mine. “You’re right on time. Thanks for coming,” Chloe replies as they get closer.

  Right away, Evan gives Chloe a look that makes me want to tear the eyes from his head.

  Breathe, Franco.

  Chloe asks Evan if they need her for anything because she’d like to go into the kitchen and make us all coffee and some breakfast. She writes down the Wi-Fi password and network name she’d like to use, and my brother gets to work setting up her new router.

  Within a few hours, she’ll have wireless internet for the store, a tablet for ringing up customers, and a basic security system.

  She’ll be all set.

  She won’t need me.

  Not anymore.

  I wander the stacks while Evan and Vito look at the wiring and drill mounts for the camera heads into the walls and ceiling. Honestly, I don’t even know why I’m here. I’m useless at electronic shit.

  And other than supervising to make sure my shithead brother and his friend do what, technically, I’m paying them to do, there’s no point in me being here.

  It’s Sunday, and we’re all going to Ma’s for dinner in a couple hours. I may as well go home, go for a run. Go work out in the garage. I could go anywhere, but here is the only place I want to be.

  I pull a book from the shelves and drop into one of the old chairs to skim through it. The words swim in front of my eyes. All I can think about is Chloe. I hear her voice as she chats with Vito and Evan, answering their questions. I’m lost in thought when I feel her hand on my shoulder.

  “I made you a coffee.” She is smiling at me, no judgment in her voice at all, but the sadness on her face makes me sure she’s as confused or hurting as I am.

  “Are you charging those assholes for their drinks?” I take the coffee from her with a grin. “No freebies. Not even for family.”

  She looks a little confused by that, and I realize it was the wrong thing to say. Maybe she thinks I’m suggesting she and I are family? I’ve got to get my fucking boot dislodged from my mouth before I say something that can’t be taken back.

  “Shush. I’d better see if Vito and Evan need me,” she says softly.

  “Wait.” I stand and put a hand on her arm. She turns to me, and I set the cup of coffee on the chair. “I’ve been telling you not to hide from me, and I’ve been hiding from you. No, maybe from myself.” I scrub a hand through my hair and shake my head. “I never should have let you leave yesterday without talking.”

  “Yo.” My brother’s voice echoes through the store, and I wince. He’s calling out to Evan to hold the ladder, and I realize this is not the time or the place to have this talk.

  “Can I see you?” I ask. “We need to talk.”

  She nods. “Why don’t you come to my place after dinner? Or you can call me.”

  I feel like the tiny voice she’s using means she’s afraid I’m going to let her down, break her heart. That maybe the phone option was a way to let me off easy—or maybe make it easier on her.

  “No phone,” I say. “I want to look you in the eye and be real with you. Even if it’s not easy. Can we do that?”

  She nods again, and a wave of absolute pain washes over me. I don’t want sad Chloe. I don’t want her braced for the bad news that isn’t going to come. I want the spunky, awkward, sweet woman who demanded hugs from my self-serve comfort bar. Maybe she’s become the comfort bar for me now.

  “Can I kiss you?” I ask. “A hug, anything? I don’t like how we left things. I want to make it right.”

  She parts her lips and grins. “Are you trying to proposition me in my own store? My aunt will turn over in her grave.”

  “This isn’t about sex,” I growl and tug her to my chest. I hold her against me and breathe in her hair. She smells different today, like a vanilla candle with something tropical, maybe pineapple. I don’t care if she smells like the city dump after a fire. Once my arms are around her, I’m sure I never want to let her go.

  “Latterature’s got a kick-ass security system—bam!” Vito pounds against the dinner table, making the plates and flatware clank.

  “For fuck’s sake, V.” Benny nearly spills the glass of red wine he was pouring and shoots our brother a dark look.

  Ma and Pops glare at Vito, but then my ma nods. “I’m glad. That robbery…” She shakes her head and shivers, then makes the sign of the cross over her forehead and heart. “I’ve got a daughter who works on that street and a future daughter-in-law, God willing, to be concerned about.”

  When she says future daughter-in-law, all eyes at the table fly to me.

  “Oooooh,” Benito teases. “Did Ma’s matchmaking finally work on you, Franco? I call dibs on best man.”

  Vito’s about to start his bullshit when Gracie speaks up. “She’s talking about me, you dumb fuck. Chloe and I are very happy together, thank you very much.”

  Pops holds both hands as if surrendering. “I love my children whether they are gay, straight, or whatever.”

  All four of us kids look at my dad with expressions that range from shock to amusement. He shoves his reading glasses onto his hair and shrugs.

  “What’s whatever?” Ma asks, looking incredibly concerned, like she’s ready to run out and make sure whoever this person is, they are happy and content in their life. That’s one thing I can say about Mario and Lucia. They are unwaveringly supportive. When Vito wanted to marry a stripper, all they cared about was if he was happy.

  My dad lifts his silver brows and shrugs. “Whatever they want to be, as long as they’re happy.”

  I polish off my pasta and salad as they start to bicker about happiness, then get up to clear my plate. I’m in the kitchen rinsing my dish under the faucet when I feel a hand at my back.

  “Son.” Ma stands behind me, her eyes worried and her lips drawn. “You’ve been very quiet tonight. And I notice Chloe didn’t join us for family dinner. I’ve been almost sick all evening thinking I did something to come between you two. I shouldn’t have shown up the way I did today. I’m sorry, baby. I…”

  I turn and face my mom, but all the fire has gone out of my frustration and anger at her meddling. Now I’m just curious.

  “When you first tried to set me up with Chloe…” I say, leaning my ass against the sink. “Why? Why her, Ma? Is she just someone who was there?”

  My mom is quiet for a minute. She’s wearing a new color lipstick today, which is unusual. I make a note to ask her about it. It’s a softer color, and I don’t remember her ever wearing light colors. Ma’s usually bold and dramatic in everything she does, from nails to hair to lips.

  “You know Ann and I were very close,” she says, and I nod. “And I don’t know how to explain it. I just had a feeling, Franco. When I first met Chloe, I knew she was supposed to be part of our family. I never considered anything but introducing her to you. Not Benny or Vito. I just thought she would be perfect for you. It was like I could see it, and I never questioned it. But I’m sorry if I came on too strong or brought you any trouble.”

  Ma looks genuinely apologetic, but none of this is really her fault. That falls squarely on me.

  “You’re a buttinski, and I love you.” I lean down to kiss my mother’s cheek. “What’s up with the lipstick? It’s different, but I like it.”

  She scowls and raises one of those brows at me dramatically. She shakes her head as she sighs. “Carol. That woman. I wish she’d just get over things with Earl and at least go back to work at Easy Start. She’s doing everything she can to make some money for herself, including selling this makeup now. She did makeovers on all us girls.” Ma cups her belly as she laughs. “Wait till you see Sassy. Carol tried to get all of us to do this dewy, natural look the kids are doing. We all looked like we were sweating. And these stripes on the nose the girls are doing now?” Ma takes two fingers and pretends to draw lines on either side of her nose. “Have you seen that? Like I want to change the shape of this schnoz at my age? What’s a little brown stuff gonna do? Anybody within a mile would see me and this thing coming. Why would I spend an hour dab-dab-dabbing all around my nose?”

  I laugh. “I think that’s called contouring, Ma.”

  “Contour, schmontour. I bought some of the crap she’s selling just to support her, but this—” she points to her lips “—this tiger won’t be changing the color of her stripes for very long.”

  We laugh, but then I grow serious. “So, are you saying you think Carol should get back with Earl? I thought she was off on some new path with Ray?”

  “Well, I was talking about her job, specifically,” my mom says. “I have opinions about the situation with Earl.”

  I cross my arms over my chest, bracing myself for Ma’s opinions, but she suddenly goes silent. “Ma?” I urge, lifting my brows at her. “You said you have opinions?”

  “Son, you know how I feel about divorce.”

  “Necessary evil.” I’m well aware of the fact that Ma takes her wedding vows seriously, and that she feels others should as well. But when the circumstances are harmful, she’s fully in support of people doing what they need to be safe. Happiness, though, is another story.

  She nods. “I’ve started to consider other perspectives,” she says. “You know I love Earl. He’s a good man, and he loves Carol and Jack. Has always been a good provider. As far as I know, and I think I would know—Carol doesn’t have a private bone in her body—he’s never been unfaithful.”

  I nod, wondering where this is going. I know Earl is a good man and my mother is a good woman. If she’s changing her perspective on marriage, I’m curious to see how. And even more curious to know why.

  She looks at me with a strange twist to her lips and a scowl in her brow.

  “Ma?” I press. “What is it?”

  She looks like she’s debating whether or not to say anything, but then she blurts it all out in a rush. “Earl doesn’t satisfy Carol sexually. Like, not at all. I don’t think she’s ever, in all their years of marriage, had an orgasm with him.”

  “Sweet baby Jesus,” I groan. “Ma, the man’s my boss. I don’t need to know—”

  “You asked,” she snaps. “And Ray Morris, God bless his little—well, I guess it’s not so little, to hear Carol talk.”

  “Ma, I love you, but can we fast-forward to the point?”

  She smiles and shakes her head. “I’ve been pretty rigid in my beliefs most of my life. But I never had a reason to see things differently. Marriage is forever, and unless someone’s drinking or violent or something else…”

  Hearing that makes me think of what Chloe told me about her parents. Her father was both, and yet her mother stayed. And it cost her mother close ties with her family.

  “When Carol first left Earl, I thought she was being foolish. I called her selfish. To her face.” Ma’s voice cracks a bit on that admission. “But then Carol opened up. Broke down. You know she had that precancerous polyp removed last year, and…”

  I almost tune out because if there is one thing I don’t want to hear about right after dinner, it’s my mother’s friends’ polyp stories. “Ma.”

  “All right, all right, just you wait. You get to my age, and everybody’s got stuff, son. Anyway, she realized that if she died, she’d have spent her whole life married to a good man. And there’s not a thing in the world wrong with that. But Carol said she wanted a great love. Before it was too late to find it.” She blots a tear from her eye with the back of her hand. “And I don’t know if she’ll have some great romance with Ray, but who the heck am I to judge? I’ve had it all with your father.”

  She reaches out and touches my arm. “Anyway, are you all right, son? I shouldn’t have just popped over this morning either. It wasn’t right of me.”

  “I’m great,” I tell her. “Ma, I wouldn’t change anything about you. I want you in my life. Although, maybe in the future, give me a few hours to reply before you show up.” I hold her close and tight, pressing down her helmet of hair with a loud kiss. “I love you, Ma. You have nothing to apologize for.”

  I’m heading out of the kitchen when Ma calls after me.

  “Yeah?” I turn back to see Ma standing at the sink looking concerned. “I think Chloe should have Mama Dog. I talked to Bev about letting her adopt if she can get the okay from Ann’s landlord. I know she doesn’t have a yard at that place, but I’d feel a lot better if she had a security system or a good, strong dog with her in that apartment.”

  I’m not sure why Ma’s telling me this, but I nod. “Sounds like a good suggestion. You should tell her,” I say, but I’m not being shitty about it. No matter what happens between Chloe and me, my family has to develop their own relationships with her. Without lodging my ass right between them.