Ma nods as if she understands. Maybe Ma will tone down her meddling a bit, but I wouldn’t want her to completely walk away from us kids. Balance. It looks like my mom is actively practicing balance. “I’ll give her a call this week,” she says. “I was hoping she’d come to dinner tonight, but…” She looks like she’s about to launch into a lecture or an apology, so I give her a smile.

  “Ma, it’s all good. I got to run.”

  She nods, a smile on her face, and I stop at the table to give my dad and siblings goodbye kisses. Benny already left without saying goodbye or clearing his plate, I notice, and Vito and Gracie are arguing about something, while my pops shakes his head.

  “You want to take one or two of these idiots with you?” Pops asks good-naturedly.

  I kiss him goodbye and head out before anyone can drag me into a fight or send me off with leftovers. I’ve got someplace I want to be.

  14

  Chloe

  A knock at the door wakes me from a deep sleep. I squint and check my phone.

  Damn.

  Three missed texts from Franco.

  “I’m coming!” I shout, clearing the sleep from my eyes.

  I barely slept a wink my first night back here at Aunt Ann’s. I was so terrified of being here alone. Not to mention heartsick at being anyplace without Franco.

  I doubt I slept for two hours last night. After the excitement of getting the security system installed at my shop, I came back here, changed into something comfy, sat down on my couch to read, and wham.

  I check the peephole and see Franco’s worried stare through the fisheye.

  I quickly open the door to let him in and ignore the butterflies in my stomach.

  “Hi,” I say. “I’m sorry I missed your texts. I fell asleep on the couch and slept like the dead.”

  He looks me over, from my sleep-messed hair to what I’m wearing. His emotions are all over his face—concern, relief, and then amusement.

  “I’m just glad you’re okay,” he says. “I mean, you are okay, right?”

  I nod. “Come on in.” I’m wearing only shorts and a loose tank top, so the last thing I need is to give the neighbors a show.

  He comes in, and I lock the door. “Did you want anything to drink?” I ask. “I’m going to go change.”

  He grabs my arm and tugs me close. “Don’t change,” he says, his voice low.

  “You like my tank?” I tease. It’s one of his. I didn’t mean to steal it, but in my rush to gather up my clothes, one of his tanks—no doubt discarded hastily while we were stripping off our clothes—got tangled up with mine. “I was planning to return it. I accidentally packed it, and…well, it smells like you.”

  If he’s not catching the vibe I’m throwing, then I know we’re over. I can’t be any more obvious without coming out and saying exactly how I feel.

  At my admission, he lowers his chin to the top of my head and holds me against his chest. He breathes deeply. “How is it possible to miss someone so much? I just saw you this morning.”

  Yes.

  Everything inside me starts to tingle in excitement.

  I wrap my arms around his waist and close my eyes. I can smell the garlic and tomato lingering in his clothes from dinner with his parents. But deeper, on my second intake of air, it’s all him.

  My legs go weak, and we just hold each other, arms tight, no words needed between us.

  I’m the one who finally breaks the hug. In just a thin tank and paper-thin shorts, my body is throwing a fit that all I’m doing is hugging this man.

  But he’s here to talk.

  I need to eliminate my distracted libido from this conversation.

  I lace my fingers through his, and we sit on my aunt’s couch side by side. Then I grab the crocheted afghan I was sleeping under, my favorite of hers, a soft dusty-pink shell pattern, and cover myself up to my chin.

  “No distractions,” I explain. “I want to be focused on our talk.”

  He laughs, and we each scoot to separate ends of the couch. We put our feet together on the middle cushion so at least our legs are close.

  “Ma tells me you might want Mama Dog,” I say. “Is that your idea or hers?”

  Oh God. He starts right in on it, doesn’t he? “Well,” I say. I nibble my lower lip and try to think how to say this without really saying it. But then I figure, nope. Honesty. For better or worse, I’m putting my truth out there. “I do want the dog. I know it’s crazy, but I sort of hoped if there was something here—” I wave between him and me “—that I could use your yard for her sometimes. I mean, that’s if I can get the landlord to approve her here.”

  Even as I say the words, I know they aren’t entirely true, so I walk it back.

  “God, that’s not it either. Not really.” I look the man on my couch in the face and decide for real this time, I’m putting myself out there. “Franco, I…” I look down at my hands. “I know it’s fast,” I say, “but I’m falling for you. And I… I… I’m…I’m gonna shut up now. I think I’ve said enough.”

  Chickenshit.

  I’m rambling like an absolute teenager, but God, if that’s not what this feels like. I bite my lip to stop myself from professing all my needs.

  He quietly gets up from the couch. He doesn’t say anything. He just paces and clenches his hands into fists. Paces and clenches.

  I rush on to fill the silence between us. “I get it, Franco. You’re not in the same place as me. And like I said, it’s all happening so, so fast. You’ve done a lot for me the last couple of weeks, and I have been so happy. Really happy. With you. You gave me a reason to stay in Star Falls, you know? But if you don’t feel the same, I understand. It’s okay. Maybe this isn’t where I’m supposed to be after all.”

  He stops pacing and looks at me. “You can’t make that decision because of me, Chloe.” His voice is low. “You need to choose the life you want for yourself. Whether or not I’m in it, I don’t want you to stay and run your aunt’s business if that’s not really what you want. And if you’re not sure…”

  “What do you want?” I ask, tucking the blanket tighter around my body. This is a hard conversation to have without any real clothes on. “Like, really want, Franco? We haven’t talked much about your past dating life or if you want to settle down with someone. Have a family…” I swallow against the sudden dryness in my mouth. “You can have anything you want,” I remind him.

  Please say me. Please.

  He sighs and rubs his fingers along his forehead. The hair has flopped down out of its perfect style, and he looks torn. “It’s not… It’s not that…” He starts pacing again.

  I get up off the couch.

  Tonight is about our words.

  Our heads.

  Our hearts.

  “I’m falling in love with you,” I say simply. “I’m sure of it. I’ve never felt this way about anyone before. And I know it’s too fast. Maybe to you it was an easy fling. Something that was fun while you were helping me out. And that’s okay. I’ll be okay.” I put a hand on his sleeve, trying hard to keep my touch light. As much as I want to be brave, to be strong, standing here in underwear and his tank top pouring out my feelings feels horribly vulnerable. Horribly exposed.

  But I think about who I want to be. The life I want to have. I’m not sure if Star Falls is going to be home for me. I’m not sure that I want my aunt’s store and apartment and her things. I want my own life. Not a hand-me-down. Franco is the very first thing I’ve ever chosen for myself. Asked for. I have to be okay if he doesn’t want me too. I just have to be.

  Franco swallows, and I watch the knob in his throat move. His plush lips, so kissable and soft and full, pinch together. He’s still not talking. Still not opening up to me.

  That’s answer enough for me. I don’t just want to own my own truth. I want to be worthy of his.

  “Were your parents ever happy?” he asks. He sounds young. Almost meek.

  I shake my head. “Not that I ever knew or saw. I mean, I suppose when they were young, right? They had to be for a time. Why?”

  He stalks back to the couch and takes his place at the far end. “I’ve never known anyone like my parents. Anyone who got a happily ever after.”

  I nod. I understand that. “I want that,” I tell him. “But it only works when both people want it and work toward it together.”

  “What if we don’t?” he asks. “What if someday you wake up and think, fuck, why this guy? I want a guy who reads. A guy who knows all the book stuff I love so much. That’s never going to be me, Chloe. I read, yeah, but your life is a bookstore. Someday you might think I’m fucking stupid. Beneath you.”

  I shrug. “I don’t know why that would happen. I don’t think that now. And as far as I can tell, most of the time, the truth is something we either embrace or ignore. Unless it’s hidden from us so we can’t really face it. You’ve been open about what you read, and that hasn’t changed how I feel about you. So, if you’re not hiding anything and I’m not ignoring what you really are…”

  He nods, but he looks unsettled. He’s fidgeting on the couch, so I sit up and let the blanket of armor fall away again.

  “Tell me,” I say gently. “Are you afraid of the future and what might change? Or are you not sure what you feel right now?”

  “I know exactly what I feel, and I…” His eyes shimmer, becoming even more intense. “I don’t understand it. A month ago, my life was perfect. I had everything I could want. I had my shit together. But then you and those shitkicker boots come to Star Falls, and all of a sudden, everything changes.”

  “Changes how?” I ask. “I mean, staying with you was a lot. I get that. And I’m sorry.”

  His expression darkens. “I’m sorry about yesterday, babe. I was freaked out.” He shakes his head and sighs, letting out a huge chest full of tension. I can see his shoulders lower. “My mother came to my place looking for you. She thought you’d already moved in and wanted to offer to help you clear out Ann’s things.”

  “She did?” No wonder the poor guy freaked out.

  We haven’t even had five minutes to talk about what this is, let alone have it on family blast.

  He nods. “I’m sorry, though. I shouldn’t have let you leave like that. I shouldn’t have let you spend the night here last night without even checking in on you. I couldn’t even send a fucking text.”

  “I’m a grown woman, Franco. If anything was wrong, I have options now. A phone. Gas in my car. And the numbers of everyone in your family.” I chuckle at that. “I might have ended up on Lucia’s couch, but I wouldn’t have been alone or in danger.”

  “I don’t want you calling them when you need something,” he growls. “I want to be the one you go to. Wake up to. Sleep with. I mean, next to…as well as the other stuff.”

  We both smile, and the air between us crackles with possibility.

  “It’s been two weeks, and it’s like I don’t even know myself anymore,” he says, his voice faraway. “But the weird part is, I’ve never felt more like myself. You make my life feel whole. What did I have before? It’s like I was just killing time. Waiting for you.”

  My mouth falls open because I’m not sure I heard him right. “Really?”

  He nods. “Yes, really. I haven’t laughed, worried, or had fun in an entire relationship with someone else like I have with you these past two weeks. It’s terrifying. Like, what the hell was I doing before?”

  “Practicing?” I offer. “Probably mostly practicing sex. You’re really good at it now, though. Good enough I think you only need to do it with me from now on.”

  He laughs. “Two weeks, man, that’s nothing. The blink of an eye.”

  “It is something,” I correct him. “It’s the start of forever.”

  15

  Franco

  “I like the way that sounds,” I admit. “Too much.”

  Chloe crawls across the couch on her hands and knees. “Can we take ‘too much’ out of your vocabulary, please? I don’t think there’s any such thing as too much when it comes to this. To us.”

  I watch as she settles herself on her heels, the blanket falling down around her hips.

  “I don’t expect a proposal, Franco,” she says. “I need to repay what I owe you. Get the shop back on its feet. If it’s even possible. There’s still a chance I can’t bring in enough to keep the store.”

  “What will you do if that happens?” I ask.

  I am not ready to hear her say she’ll leave, but the more I admit to myself that I want this, that I want her, the more I realize I have to accept that none of this is in my control.

  She could close Latterature and leave Star Falls. Or ask me to come with her. Things are getting even messier. I hate messy. I hate multitasking.

  I’ve never been good at complexity.

  Could I have sorted out the paperwork at the shop myself if I spent enough time and focus? Probably. But that’s just not how I’m wired. I’m not good at solving puzzles, finding paperwork, and apparently, I’m not very good at navigating complicated feelings.

  I like things simple, direct, honest.

  Things with Chloe are anything but that. But a part of me wonders if I’m the one making things so messy.

  “What are you thinking?” She reaches across my outstretched legs and cups my chin.

  “You renewed the lease here?” I ask.

  I’m not good with this many moving parts. My mind feels fuzzy, and my hands curl up in impatience. I don’t know what the fuck has gotten into me. Maybe I’m the reason I’ve never been able to date anyone seriously.

  Fucking and fun are simple.

  Feelings, especially feelings like this, plans and thoughts about the future, I realize now, are not.

  “I paid for the next month,” she tells me. “I’ll barely be home though.”

  “What do you mean?” I ask. “You’re leaving? Going someplace?”

  She nods and releases my chin. “I called my mom last night. She asked me to come home for a bit. She had some really good suggestions about the store, actually. I think I’m going to spend the next few weeks until I leave getting the shop redesigned. I’ll have a grand reopening on Black Friday and see if I can start to turn a profit. So, between being at the bookstore and my mom’s, I won’t be home much.”

  That’s a really smart idea. Main Street does a booming business for the holidays. Even the tattoo shop rolls out specials and giveaways. Foot traffic increases, and a lot of residents buy local to support their neighbors, as opposed to buying gifts online or driving into Cleveland to shop at the big malls.

  “Will you be here for Thanksgiving?”

  “I get back a few days before,” she confirms, crawling over my legs. “But I’ll be getting the shop ready for Black Friday. I think it’s going to take more work than I even realize.”

  I spread my legs wide, and she settles between them, leaning her back against my chest.

  “So here’s what I think,” she says. “I think you should help me name my dog.” She lifts her face and looks at me over her shoulder. “I’m sure your mom will watch her while I go home for a few days. And since the shop will be closed the next few weeks, I’ll be able to move furniture and do some reorganizing with a furry little companion to keep me company. Assuming my landlord says yes.”

  I like the sound of that. I like the sound of all of it. “If he doesn’t, we’ll sic my mother on him. Lucia doesn’t take no for an answer, in case you hadn’t noticed.”

  She laughs, and the sound is happy again. Free. “Come on. Let’s think of dog names.”

  “Something tells me you’ve already thought of one,” I say.

  She nudges me in the ribs with her elbow. “What do you think I picked?”

  I don’t have the faintest idea, but I’m going to have fun guessing. “Cliterature,” I say. “After two of your favorite things.”

  She gasps in shock but then bursts into hysterical giggles. “Rude,” she says. “The clit should be one of your favorite things, not mine.”

  “Oh,” I tell her, “it is. Yours is.” I kiss the top of her hair and keep guessing. “Captain Saucy Pants McGoo?”

  She lifts a brow at me and scowls. “Now you’re being ridiculous. Cliterature was better.”

  I wrap my arms around her waist and rest my chin against the top of her hair. “So,” I say, “tell me. What are you thinking about naming Mama Dog?”

  “Well.” She scoots her bottom even closer to my crotch, sending my dick a message it doesn’t want to ignore. “I was thinking Mia.”

  “Feminine for mine in Italian?” I ask.

  She nods slightly, my head bobbing with hers. “Kind of a perfect symbol for what I’m building here. Something that’s mine. My choices. My dog. My protection. My new life.”

  I swallow against the sudden rush of emotion that clogs my throat worse than a plume of diesel exhaust to the face. It surprises me, but it shouldn’t. Everything about Chloe is thoughtful and sweet. I clear my throat and rub at my nose. “That’s beautiful. Perfect.”

  “You’re beautiful,” she says. “And perfect in my eyes. Well, maybe not perfect. But I like you a whole lot.”

  “Hey.” I lift my chin from the top of her head and angle my neck so I can nuzzle her ear. “I like you a whole lot too,” I whisper. “And I missed you last night.”

  She turns on the couch to face me. “I missed you too,” she says. “Did we solve anything?”

  “All of it,” I tell her, leaning forward to hold her face with a hand. I stroke the plush lower lip with my thumb and look into her clear green eyes. “Welcome to Star Falls, baby,” I say. “It looks like you’ve finally come home.”

  She blinks fast and grins before physically throwing her body against mine. And God, when we kiss… The feeling is exactly like coming home.