“Love you too,” I tell him before he walks out of the room, leaving me there to think about all the ways I could fuck everything up before it even really has a chance to start.

  I tiptoe out of Rebel’s bedroom, not risking waking up Adaline after it took me three books to get her to fall asleep. The kid fought every yawn, twitching awake when her eyes would finally close.

  When I walk into the living room, I find Rebel curled up underneath a blanket, a book in one hand and a glass of wine in the other. Her head comes up and she smiles, but she doesn’t say a word.

  She’s been uncharacteristically quiet since we were at my grandmother’s house. My family has a way of scaring some people off by nothing more than the sheer number of them. Then there’s their mouths and the arguments about anything and everything that could be up for debate. I’m sure she was overwhelmed by all of it since she doesn’t have family of her own.

  I drop down onto the couch next to her, pulling her foot into my lap. “You okay?” I ask her.

  “I’m fine,” she says, peering up from her pages long enough to give me a smile. “Did Adaline give you any trouble?”

  My fingers press into the bottom of her foot and her eyes flutter closed, but I keep contact. “Nah, sugar. Took a few books and she tried to tell me another story, but I didn’t fall for it this time.”

  Rebel shuts her book, slouching down on the couch, poking her other foot out from underneath the blanket. “That’s good,” she breathes. “She seems to be comfortable around you.”

  “She’s a great kid, but I’m more concerned about her mama.”

  “Today was overwhelming,” she says softly.

  “I can understand that. Sorry if my family was a bit much.”

  “You’re really lucky, Rocco. All those people love you.”

  “I know I’m lucky. I was blessed being born into that group. Although sometimes, they can be a little crazy and a bit over the top.”

  “Pushy and not very subtle too,” she adds with a smile. “Carmello talked to me for a bit when you were with your father.”

  I tighten my hands, rubbing her soles a little harder with my fingers. “What did he say?”

  “That we had a lot to talk about.” Rebel opens her eyes again, adjusting her body so she’s sitting up, but her feet stay in my lap.

  “Nosy fucker,” I grunt. “He’s right. We do have a lot to talk about. Come here, Reb. I want you closer.”

  “I’m pretty fucking close and comfortable too,” she argues.

  “In my lap, sugar. I want your eyes on mine when we talk.”

  She stares at me for a minute without speaking before moving across the couch and climbing on top of my lap. My hands find her hips, feeling at home there as she settles her weight against my lower half. Rebel snakes her arms around my shoulders, leaving very little space between our bodies, but she gives me her blue eyes and full attention.

  “I’m listening.”

  I lean back, keeping my hands on her hips and eyes locked on hers. “After the accident, I went to a dark place, Rebel.”

  “Me too,” she admits. “Super dark. I’m lucky to be alive, and I probably wouldn’t be if it weren’t for Adaline.”

  I tighten my hands, giving her body a small squeeze. “When Carrie died in my arms, I felt powerless and had a lot of anger. My dad helped me, introduced me to something to help me feel like I had the power and control I thought had been taken from me.”

  “Okay,” she murmurs as her fingers sweep through the back of my hair.

  “I stopped dating after you. I had a taste, knew what I wanted and couldn’t have, so I moved on to other ways to find pleasure, control, and some form of happiness without you in my life, sugar.”

  She blinks, staring at me with her eyebrows drawn inward. “I don’t know what any of that means. Are you saying you haven’t slept with another woman since you were with me?”

  I pull her hips forward, closing whatever space is left between us, bringing her face closer. “I found pleasure in other ways.”

  “Like…” She tilts her head, raising an eyebrow.

  I take a deep breath, counting to five before releasing it along with the apprehension I have about telling her all about myself and my life. “My father stepped in, educating me about pleasure and control through BDSM.”

  She blinks again, her lips parted, her breathing a little faster. “Come again?”

  “I didn’t want a relationship. I wanted casualness and control to feed my appetite and the need I had deep inside me that I never knew existed. My father and mother have another side to them, one many people don’t know about outside of the family.”

  “Your aunt called your mom a sub,” Rebel whispers and smiles. “I thought she was talking about a sandwich.”

  I have to bite my lip to stop myself from laughing at her adorable naïveté. “You’re too damn cute, Reb.”

  She blushes, scraping her fingernails against the sensitive skin on the back of my neck. “I’m not completely clueless, baby,” she whispers. “I just never thought your mom…”

  “I know. I try to block out any thoughts of my parents having sex, but they are who they are. Didn’t really know until my dad pulled my ass to the side, talking to me about finding my center and gaining control of the world around me.”

  Rebel swallows but doesn’t say anything. Her eyes hold mine, her body still, her breathing shallow. “How?” she finally whispers.

  “I trained at a local club with a Master my father has been friends with for years. It was the best of both worlds for me at the time. I was able to gain control in one form and also have consensual physical relationships built on trust, understanding, and sex, but without the real-world complications I needed to avoid.”

  “And by complications, I assume you mean relationships and feelings?” she asks.

  “I’ve had relationships with the women at the club, but they stayed within the walls of the club and never extended outside. I didn’t take them to dinner, bring them to my house, or even introduce them to anyone in my family. They were purely about need, want, and desire. Purely physical and nothing else.”

  “Why are you telling me this?” she asks, breasts pressed against me, the heat of her body seeping through my clothes.

  “I want total transparency. You need to know who I am and how I’ve changed.”

  “Baby,” she whispers so sweetly my heart beats a little faster. “I didn’t think you were an altar boy. I figured you worked your way through this little town before you hit the age of twenty-five.”

  I shake my head and smile. “You’re thinking of the Rocco you knew. The manwhore I was. But that day…opened my eyes but crushed my soul.”

  “I changed too. At first, I partied too hard. Got involved in some really bad shit and went down a very dark path. But Adaline changed that, and her biological father, being the man he was, married me and swore to provide for us. But after he died, I felt like the world was against me again until Beau walked into my life.” She sighs and leans forward, resting her forehead against mine, our bodies connecting almost everywhere. “But I think I was still blinded by my grief and didn’t see the man he truly was until it was almost too late. All I’ve ever wanted was a family and happiness. I never want Adaline to know the sadness I felt as a child. I want her to be happy.”

  “She is happy, Rebel. The kid is resilient, and her laughter is infectious.”

  “I see the way she is with you, Rocco. She craves a father figure in her life, and so far, I’ve failed to deliver.”

  “You know, the day I left you in the hospital, I told my mother I’d never fall in love and never get involved in a relationship. And until now…I meant every word. I don’t know if you could like the new me, but—”

  “Could you like the new me?” she shoots back before I have a chance to finish my sentence.

  “You’re the same you, sweetheart.”

  She shakes her head as she backs away. “I’m not. I’m a mother with a sordid past and maybe a crazy ex-boyfriend who’s searching for me, looking to take me back.”

  I lift my hand, brushing a few locks of her hair behind her ear, and she moves into my touch. “You’re still the same beautiful, wild creature I met ten years ago. Our cores are the same, but our layers have changed, making us into something different. No one has ever made me feel the way you do.”

  “Rocco,” she whispers, stroking my neck with a single finger. “I want this.” She pauses, and I tighten my grip on her hip. “I want us. I want whatever this is that burns between us even after all these years.”

  I lean forward, pressing my mouth to hers, kissing her softly and deeply. She moans, taking what I give without hesitation.

  As soon as our mouths part, our eyes are connected, and I need to know if this could happen. “I don’t know if I could turn off that other part of me anymore, Rebel. I’m not sure I can give up control all the time, and I’m not sure you could deal with my brand of…”

  “Assholiness,” she adds, smiling.

  “Yeah, sugar. That’s one word for it.”

  “I need you to promise me something before I say yes.”

  “Anything,” I tell her.

  “Promise me you won’t hurt me and you’ll always protect Adaline. No matter what happens, you’ll always have her back.”

  “And yours, Reb. I’ll always have your back. If you’re going to be mine, I’d take a bullet for you before I’d let anything happen to you. I’d give my life if it meant you were happy.”

  She slides her hands to cover my mouth. “I’ve lost too many people, Rocco. Don’t jump in front of any bullets and get yourself killed. I don’t think I could take another loss.”

  I kiss her hand before pulling it away. “I’m not going anywhere, sugar. I plan to live a very, very long life.”

  “Promise me,” she begs, moving her hands to my chest, covering my heart with her palms. “Promise me you won’t do anything stupid.”

  “I won’t do anything stupid, but I’ll do whatever I have to do to protect what’s mine. And that includes you and that little girl sleeping in the next room, dreaming of being a princess.”

  Rebel’s face softens, and she leans into me. “I could easily fall in love with you, Rocco Caldo, and if I’m being honest, I’m scared.”

  “Me too, sugar. Me too.” I lean forward and press my mouth to her soft lips. “Mine,” I whisper against her skin.

  “Yours,” she whispers back.

  My hands find her ass, pulling her tight against me before I stand. Her legs lock around my waist, our bodies pressed together at every possible location as I stalk toward the bedroom with Rebel in my arms.

  16

  Rebel

  It’s been almost a week since I met his family and we had “the talk.”

  Everything has been going great…better than I expected, even, but he hasn’t shown his other side, the one he admitted to and warned me about.

  Rocco’s phone lights up, and I can’t help but glance at the screen.

  Jade: Tonight at 7 still work?

  I turn back toward the window, sipping my coffee, trying not to think too much about Jade.

  But I fail.

  I have a million questions, and all of them lead to one conclusion. She has to be his girl, or at least, she was until I rolled into town, somehow stealing him away.

  She’s no one. Stop, Rebel.

  “Hey, sugar,” Rocco says, moving my hair to the side to press his lips against my neck. “Sleep well?”

  I lean into his kiss, loving the way he showers me with affection every moment of the day. “Like a baby.”

  “Maybe think about moving in to my room,” he whispers. “I hate that you leave and crawl back into bed with Adaline. I'd love nothing more than rolling over and being able to sink my cock into you whenever I feel the need.”

  “And what about my needs?”

  He smirks, staring down at me. “Whatever you want, whenever you want it.”

  My belly flips at the way his dark eyes flicker when he says those words. “I’ll remember that.”

  He moves his mouth closer to my ear, dropping his voice even lower. “My dick is yours, baby. My mouth too. You can wake me up with a face full of pussy, and I’d let you suffocate me in the process.”

  I smack Rocco’s arm, feeling that familiar tingle he still gives me when I think about all the orgasms he’s provided me in the past week and how somehow it still feels like it hasn’t been enough. “Stop it. Adaline’s in the room.”

  He grabs his phone and moves across the kitchen to the coffeepot, and I can’t help but watch him. He turns his screen on, swipes his finger across, and starts to type.

  “Everything okay?” I ask, being nosy and unable to stop myself.

  “Everything’s fine,” he tells me.

  “Are you working late tonight?” I ask, still wondering about Jade. Even though everything’s fine, it doesn’t mean he’s not texting her back, keeping the date.

  Jealousy isn’t a good look.

  He peers up, making eye contact with me for a brief second. “I don’t know yet.”

  “I need to get a new phone and figure out a car, or maybe we can go get mine up at the cabin.”

  His fingers stop, and I get his eyes again. “Fuck,” he hisses.

  “Bad word!” Adaline yells from the living room where she’s knee-deep in Barbie bullshit Izzy bought for her.

  “I’ll leave my SUV here so you can get a phone. And maybe this weekend, we’ll go get the car, but I have to talk to Mello and my dad about it first.”

  I blink, staring at the top of his head when he goes back to typing. “Why do you need to talk to them first?”

  “I have my dad tracking Beau,” he says like it’s not a big deal, which it is, and something he hasn’t told me before.

  “Since when?”

  “Since the beginning.”

  “You didn’t tell me.”

  He sets his phone down, reaching for a coffee cup and the pot at the same time. “Didn’t think I needed to.”

  I shift in my seat, turning around to face him fully, and pissed doesn’t even begin to describe how I feel. “Come again?”

  “Sugar,” he says, sounding all slick and smooth, leaving his phone on the counter as he walks across the kitchen, sliding into the seat next to me.

  “Don’t ‘sugar’ me, buddy.” I poke him in the shoulder, causing his coffee to almost spill over the sides of the mug. “When it comes to Beau, I deserve to know everything.”

  He sets down the cup and leans on the table, putting his one leg between mine so we’re virtually locked together. “I meant to tell you.”

  “Back it up.” I poke him again. “You just said you didn’t think you needed to tell me. Which one is it?” I cock my head and narrow my eyes. “Think carefully.”

  Rocco places his hand on my arm, always maintaining contact with me like it puts me under some weird voodoo spell, which it kind of does, but I’ll deny it forever. “I misspoke. I’m sorry. I should’ve told you, but I didn’t want to say anything until I knew more.”

  I raise an eyebrow and slide toward the edge of my chair until my knee is touching his crotch. “And?”

  He swallows, feeling the pressure I’m applying and knowing with one simple move, I could have him in a world of hurt. “Dad said he’d have a full report today. Found out Beau had a mighty long rap sheet. Did you know?”

  I jerk my head back, and I blink. “What?”

  “Yep, sugar. He isn’t a good man. Hell, he was never a good man. Lots of different charges, including domestic violence.”

  I lean back, letting the back of the chair support me. “What the fuck,” I whisper, realizing I knew nothing about the man I’d been with.

  “Even a count of stalking.”

  “Shit,” I mutter. “That’s not good.”

  His other hand lands on my leg, holding my knee with his long, thick fingers. “It’s not good. With his history, I’m sure he’s looking for you.”

  My belly drops and suddenly knots as I bow my head, cursing myself for being so stupid. “I’m an idiot.”

  Rocco lifts his hand, touching my chin, forcing my head upward. “You’re not an idiot, Rebel. You’re trusting and hopeful.”

  “Well—” I swallow, pissed off at myself and left with a bitter taste from my mistake “—at least I know you won’t be the same problem since you wouldn’t even pick up my call and I hadn’t heard from you in ten years.”

  His eyes narrow and he tightens his fingers on my chin, but he doesn’t let go. “That’s a low blow, sugar, even for you. I’ll let it slide, but the next time you give me some shit…”

  I hold his gaze, breathing heavy, angry with myself but taking it out on him. “You’ll what?” I ask, my voice filled with defiance.

  He leans forward, holding my face so I can’t back away. His breath moves across my skin, his dark-brown eyes flashing with so much emotion, my palms begin to sweat. “I’ll tie you to the bed and make you come so many times, you’ll beg me to stop. Beg,” he says, drawing out the word until goose bumps spread across my flesh.

  I blink as my lips part, trying to imagine a time when I’d ever tell him I didn’t want more. Even now, I’d hop on his dick and ride him until I have no more pissed-off in me. “That sounds like torture,” I tease, but holy fuck. Holy fuck.

  He smirks. “There is such a thing as too much pleasure.”

  I roll my eyes. “Oh, okay. Whatever you say, big guy.”

  His smirk grows. “Want to test it out?”

  I hold his heated gaze, suddenly forgetting why I was so pissed off in the first place. “Well…I…” I gulp, losing my words.

  He stands, towering over me, pinning my back to the chair and getting right in my face. “Tonight, Mama. You better be ready because I’m going to break you in the most delicious way possible.”

  “Adaline,” I whisper. “We can’t.”

  He presses his lips to mine, stealing my breath and my sanity. “Ma will watch her. It’s date night.” My mouth opens and closes, but nothing comes out. “Hey, Addy,” he calls out, turning his face toward her with a devilish smile.