“Got it,” I tell her, wrapping my arms around her waist and pulling her in for a kiss. “Couldn’t forget it. Been waiting a year for this.”

  Today, I am adopting Adaline, officially making her mine. My life is perfectly complete, something I never thought possible two years ago.

  “I’ll grab Adaline from school and meet you there if you run over with your customers. You’re booked pretty tight.”

  “I’ll be done and go with you. We do this, we do it as a family and not separately. I want to walk through those doors with my girls on my arms.”

  “I love you,” she whispers.

  “I love you too,” I murmur against her lips before taking her mouth, pressing mine to hers and kissing her deeply.

  Rebel

  One month later

  “What’s this?” Rocco asks, staring at the large box on the coffee table.

  “A present.” I chew on my thumbnail, watching him as he moves his eyes from the box to me.

  “Did I forget what day it is?”

  I shift my weight from one foot to another, trying to control my excitement. “No, baby. You didn’t forget anything. This is a gift for the two of us. We have the house to ourselves, and I’ve been holding on to this for a while, waiting for the right moment.”

  He sits down, his eyes trained on the package with a look of confusion on his face. “I feel like I’m missing something.”

  “You aren’t,” I tell him as I kneel on the other side of the table, keeping my gaze pinned on him. “This is just a little something fun for us.”

  His head comes up and his eyes meet mine. “Fun?”

  “I have to keep you on your toes.” I bite my lip, holding back my smile.

  I’ve been a hot mess for the last hour, impatiently waiting for him to get home from work. I left early, dropped the girls off at his parents’, and walked in the door to prep for tonight.

  Rocco had been a man of specific tastes before I’d met him again. Tastes he’s buried and sworn he doesn’t miss. He’s been good at suppressing that side of himself, but I know he still craves part of his former life. And although I haven’t had many romantic role models in my life, I know enough about human behavior to understand someone can only suppress a part of themselves for so long before they either find themselves unhappy in their day-to-day life or walking out the door to find what they’ve been missing.

  I know my husband loves me. I’ve never doubted the feelings he has for me a single day over the last year. But I also know I want my husband happy and to be himself too.

  I’ve spent time studying everything I can about his particular sexual proclivities, even going as far as to talk with Mammoth and Izzy, separately, of course—which was totally awkward, but necessary.

  “Just open it,” I tell him, pushing the package closer to him and fighting the urge to tear it open myself. “You’ll like it.”

  He makes quick work of the wrapping paper, exposing the plain cardboard box underneath. He snaps his eyes to mine, brow furrowing, still unsure of what’s inside or why I bought it.

  “You’re not this slow at Christmas,” I tease him, dying a little inside every minute he draws this out.

  “I’m expecting gifts then,” he says as he pops the tape running across the seam of the box. “Now, I feel like something’s going to jump out, like a puppy.”

  “Not even remotely close and it’s more a gift for the two of us.”

  He raises an eyebrow. “Something for the two of us?”

  I nod, unable to hide my excitement, and somehow, I tamp down the nervous energy running through my system.

  He glances around, finally realizing we’re alone. “Where’s the girls?”

  “Your parents’ for the night.”

  A smile spreads across his face. “We have the place to ourselves for the night?”

  “We do.” I smile.

  He smirks. “That is present enough. Some alone naked time with my wife is enough.”

  “I’m about to make your night then, baby, but you’re fucking torturing me with the speed at which you’re moving.”

  He laughs as he peels back the flaps of the box, exposing the tissue paper I placed over the contents to add even more suspense. To my surprise, he doesn’t take out the top layer of paper before reaching inside and feeling around.

  His hand stills as his eyes widen. “What did you buy?”

  I chew on my lips again and lift my eyebrows. “Some things to make tonight really interesting.”

  He lifts his arm, and the first item out of the box and in his hand is a cute leather choker with a metal heart lock connecting the two sides, along with two keys. “What the…” His eyes move from the collar to me. “You bought a collar.”

  I nod, my belly flipping again as I shift my weight, feeling giddier than I thought possible. “I did.”

  He stares at the heart, running his thumb across the soft leather, his beautiful lips parted. “You want me to use this on you?”

  “Um, I don’t want you to use it on someone else.”

  He smiles as he leans back, looking surprised. “I’m just…”

  “Keep going,” I tell him, pushing the box toward him. “There’s more.”

  “I need a minute here,” he says, his voice deep and different. “I thought you didn’t…”

  “This is all for at-home use. As for the club, it’s still a no right now, but I reserve the right to change my mind.”

  “I don’t need the club.”

  “But you used to like it there,” I remind him, holding my hands in my lap, trying to be patient.

  He stares at me, his fingers still gliding across the leather of the collar. “That was before.”

  “Before what?”

  “Before you, Rebel.”

  “We could go together. I’m trying to broaden my sexual horizons.”

  His eyebrow rises again. “And how are you broadening them?”

  “Books and porn.”

  He jerks his head back a little. “BDSM porn?”

  I nod. “Some of it scares me, but then there’re others…”

  “Like?”

  “Like being restrained and being powerless.”

  “The submissive is never powerless.”

  “I know.” I push the box forward again, but he doesn’t bite.

  “And, as for the club, I don’t know if I could bring you there. I wouldn’t want other men or women looking at you.”

  “Jealous?” I ask him.

  “Possessive and protective of what’s mine, baby.”

  My belly flips again, something he’s still able to do with a single look or a few simple words, even after all this time. “I like that,” I tell him. “But for now, I want to explore this side of me at home, while you unleash that side of you I know you’ve buried since we met.”

  “You are enough,” he replies, and I know I am. “Our sex life is great.”

  “It’s always good to switch things up, honey.”

  “It is,” he says, setting the collar on his legs before he moves his hands back to the box. “Do you understand what everything in this box is?”

  I nod. “I did thorough research. If it’s in the box, I want to try it.”

  His eyes sparkle, and his face lights up. “I’ll make all your fantasies come true, baby, but I don’t do needles or knife play.”

  “Well, thank fuck for that,” I whisper. “You won’t find any of that in the box, but you’re seriously torturing me with how slowly you’re opening this box.”

  “Impatient?” he asks, smirking.

  “Horny as fuck waiting on you all day. The anticipation is killing me.”

  He pats the couch next to him. “Come here.”

  I rise to my feet, moving next to him without hesitation. As soon as I’m on the couch, he takes one hand, pushes apart my knees, and slides his fingers up my legs. His brown eyes are locked on mine, his face serious and his eyes hooded. “Are you wet, baby?” he rasps before he reaches my panties and finds them drenched. “So fucking wet. So fucking excited and I haven’t even touched you yet.”

  I suck in a breath, the contact enough to send tingles throughout my body. “I’ve been waiting a long time for this box to arrive and to explore this with you.”

  “Leave your legs open,” he commands, staring at me with a need I don’t think I’ve ever seen before. “Don’t move them an inch.”

  I squirm a little, suddenly breathless and wanton, with his hand still between my legs, stroking the outside of my panties.

  “Understand, Rebel?”

  “Yes,” I breathe.

  “Good girl,” he replies, and the single phrase sends a shiver down my spine. As he retracts his hand, he lifts my skirt, exposing my pink underwear and what I can assume is a very visible wet spot. “No moving.”

  I nod, trying to control my breathing, which has picked up along with the beat of my heart. This is better than Christmas, and the excitement coursing through my system is something I’ve never experienced before, not even when I lost my virginity.

  He removes each item, carefully placing them on the coffee table before pushing the box onto the floor where I’d been sitting earlier.

  Sitting before us is the fantasy I have planned, laid out for him to see. Four cuff restraints, a blindfold, nipple clamps, a butt plug—which, by the way, scares the shit out of me—and a red-tipped riding crop.

  “It’s a start,” he says with a wicked grin on his face.

  “There’s one more thing, but it wouldn’t fit in the box.”

  “Where is it?”

  “In the bedroom,” I whisper, my mouth suddenly dry.

  He leans over, placing his lips on my neck as his hand slides back between my legs. I don’t dare move, keeping my body still, but I allow my head to fall back, giving him complete access to my neck. His mouth doesn’t linger long but moves to the top of my breasts as they peek out from my dress. I moan when his fingers press against the outside of my panties, rubbing my wetness against my clit. He pushes the material aside, replacing the coarseness of the cotton with the soft warmth of his fingertips.

  I drop my hands to the couch as I brace myself, holding my body upright and avoiding falling back in a pile of horny goo. He circles his two fingers around my clit, causing my eyes to roll back and my breath to hitch.

  I feel beautiful, alive, and more turned on than I have in my entire life. The anticipation mixing with the slight tinge of fear is enough to drive me over the edge. But before I have a chance, his fingers and mouth are gone, and I’m left panting and wet.

  “You know what’s my favorite, baby?” he asks, licking his fingertips.

  “What?” I ask, barely able to speak.

  “Orgasm denial.”

  “Orgasm denial?” I repeat, followed by a hard swallow. I should’ve asked him what he preferred, learning more about him so I knew what to expect.

  Orgasm denial. Fuck.

  A devilish smirk slides across his beautiful lips. “But don’t worry…when you come, it’ll be harder than you ever have before.”

  I stop breathing, thinking about the orgasm of all orgasms. “Okay,” I whisper, not trusting my voice to speak any louder.

  He grabs the items off the table, holding them in one hand, and takes my hand with the other. “Show me what else you bought.”

  I clear my throat, hoping my legs don’t give out on me when I stand. I’m on the edge, so close to coming from the light touch of his fingertips a few seconds ago and the excitement of the moment. When I stand, miraculously my legs don’t crumple underneath me. “In the bedroom,” I tell him, letting him pull me away from the couch before he guides me down the hallway.

  When he walks in, he stops dead. “You bought that?” he asks, looking from the item to me and then back to the item.

  “I did.” I smile, my belly flipping and suddenly knotting. “Is it okay?”

  He pulls me into the room, his breathing harsher and quicker than before. “Take your clothes off,” he demands without hesitation or asking. “Now, Rebel.”

  Guess he likes the new piece of furniture I purchased, and he needs no explanation of its purpose. I read all the reviews and became fascinated by the idea of being completely at his mercy and becoming an object of his sexual pleasure. The bondage board caught my attention, and no matter what other piece of bedroom furniture for the house I looked at, nothing seemed to compare.

  I fumble with the buttons on my dress, my fingers shaking because fuuuuck, I’m beyond excited. He drops the items on the bed and pushes my hands away, grasping the material and yanking it over my head like he can’t wait another minute to have me naked. When I reach for my panties, he shakes his head, and I drop my arms to my sides.

  His mouth is on mine a second later, his tongue diving between my lips, demanding access without asking.

  I like this side of Rocco.

  No. That’s a lie.

  I love this side of him.

  The part he’s hidden and tamped down, thinking it wasn’t something I’d enjoy. But there’s been nothing he’s done to me that hasn’t had my toes curling and my body spasming in uncontrollable ecstasy.

  With our mouths fused, he glides his fingers down the middle of my body, avoiding my breasts and moving straight to my panties. His fingers dip underneath the material, sliding against my aching clit. I moan at the contact, wanting and needing more.

  Orgasm denial, I remind myself, knowing no matter how close I get, he won’t allow it to happen. But my body responds anyway. My pussy contracts, my hips sway forward, and my panties grow even damper, feeling the emptiness a little bit more than before.

  He pulls back, his fingertip circling my clit, stealing my breath. “Are you sure about this?” he asks, his eyes dark and heated.

  “Yes,” I rasp with a shaky voice.

  He doesn’t stop moving his fingers, making it nearly impossible to think. “We need a safe word. I assume from your reading you know why and when to use it.”

  I nod. “Mercy.”

  “Say it whenever you need to, and don’t feel bad about it. This is all new to you, but I promise to do my best not to do anything that would cause you to use it.”

  “Okay,” I whisper, trying not to grind my middle against his finger because he’s moving them torturously slowly.

  “Good, baby,” he whispers back, taking his hands away from my body, leaving me unfulfilled. He loops his fingers into the sides of my panties, gently pushing them down my hips, but I don’t move. Normally, I’d help, ripping those suckers off, wanting to get to the good stuff sooner rather than later. But this isn’t a normal time, and I am now subject to Rocco’s speed and his will.

  He bends at his knees, one on the floor, sliding the cotton down my legs. When they’re finally on the floor, he nudges my calf for me to step out, and I do, standing before him completely naked. He peers up, soaking in my nudity, making me feel more exposed than I ever have in front of him. I close my eyes, trying to avoid his penetrating gaze, and gasp when the warm wetness of his tongue pokes between my legs as his hands clamp down on my thighs, causing my legs to open wider.

  He feasts, lavishing my skin with the divinity that is his tongue. The man is a master at oral, pleasing me easily with his mouth almost every single time we are together. Multiple orgasms have been the norm since I met him, and although he is apparently about orgasm denial, I hope tonight will end the same way the others have before.

  My body sways, only kept upright by the suction of his mouth and the grip his hands have on me. I moan, craving to be filled and fucked by my husband.

  When my hands find his head, he breaks the contact and backs away. I bite my lip, stopping myself from crying out my displeasure, and I hold my breath when he reaches for the restraint cuffs. I stand perfectly still, concentrating on my breathing as he undoes each clasp and secures them on my ankles first. I peer down at him, seeing the wicked gleam of excitement in his eyes, and I know I’ve made the right decision by wanting to explore this side of me as well as him.

  “Wrists,” he says.

  I quickly extend my arms before he even has a chance to grab the two cuffs from the bed. He smiles, chuckling at my enthusiasm.

  The cuffs aren’t heavy, but I clearly know they are there even if I haven’t been attached to the board yet.

  “Face up, baby,” he says, rising from the floor in front of me, his eyes lingering on my breasts. “Hands at your sides, feet at each corner. I want access to all of you.”

  I move a little slower now, kneeling on the bed, knowing he’s looking at my ass, before rolling over and jumping when the cold leather hits my back.

  My eyes are locked on him, watching as he attaches the cuffs to the loops lining the board, which provides a million options for restraining the lucky person. There’s a smirk on his face the entire time.

  “Are you going to get naked?”

  He shakes his head. “Not yet. I’m going to play with you for a while first.”

  I bite my tongue, stopping myself from asking what a while actually means because I don’t think he’s talking about a few minutes. Pulling at the cuffs, I test their strength, and I can tell immediately there’s barely any give. I am completely at his mercy. There for his desire and all that he’s willing to give.

  A thrill runs through me, my heart racing, my palms sweating as anticipation fills me when he picks up the blindfold from the bed next to me.

  “This will heighten your senses,” he explains, waiting for me to lift my head.

  “I trust you,” I tell him as my world is plunged into darkness.

  My body moves as the board is dragged and rearranged, but I bite my lip to stop myself from asking him questions.

  “I want better access. You’re on the end of the bed, but you won’t fall off,” he reassures me as if he’s reading my mind. His palm touches my stomach, the warmth of his skin permeating mine, a directly opposite sensation from the air conditioning blowing overhead. “I want to be able to touch, taste, and explore every inch of you.”

  My mouth falls open when his hand slides over my breast, brushing against my nipple. I arch my back, chasing his touch, but it’s elusive, moving across my chest to the other nipple.