I groan and drop my phone next to me, wanting to punch myself in the face. I’m a needy twat. Two days after being exposed to the woman again, and I’ve turned into a different person.

  Lily: She’s going to text you.

  Me: When?

  Lily: Settle down, rover.

  Me: Fuck it. I’m going out.

  Lily: Don’t you dare.

  I head for the bathroom, ready for a shower, when my phone dings. I ignore it, turning on the water instead. Then, there’s not just one ding but an entire series of them, sounding like the worst song beat ever.

  I give in, swiping across the screen, and the messages start scrolling by in rapid-fire succession.

  Lily: He said he’s going out because he’s had to wait two entire days for Arlo.

  Gigi: Don’t you fucking dare ruin this.

  Tamara: Pansy.

  Gigi: Boys are weak.

  Tamara: He’s so, so, so weak.

  Lily: It’s kind of sweet.

  Me: I’m here, assholes. I can see what you say.

  Gigi: And?

  Tamara: So. We’d say it to your face too.

  Mammoth: You ladies are fucked up. Leave the guy alone. He was perfectly happy before y’all stuck your noses in his business.

  Tamara: Honey…shut up. He was not. Were you happier before me? Let’s be real about that. No one gave it to you as good as I do, baby.

  Mammoth: …

  Pike: Oh fuck.

  Gigi: That’s some loud silence.

  Tamara: That’s because he’s currently stalking my way, undoing his belt.

  Gigi: Hot.

  Lily: Why?

  Tamara: Girl, read spicier books.

  Lily: Duh. I do read spicy books.

  Pike: Everyone leave Mello alone. He likes his life. Women always want to change a man. It’s like a life’s quest.

  Lily: I’m talking to Arlo.

  Tamara: And?

  Gigi: Don’t you have an ass to get spanked, Tam?

  Tamara: I’m multifaceted.

  Gigi: You can suck dick and text? I’m seriously impressed.

  My cousins make my head hurt.

  Rocco: I’m horrified.

  Pike: Why?

  Rocco: The girls are worse than us, bro.

  Pike: Was there any doubt?

  Rocco: Brother, when are you hooking up with Arlo?

  Lily: She hasn’t even called or texted him yet.

  Pike: Not a good sign.

  Gigi: She’s playing him right.

  I shake my head, hating all of them.

  Me: No one’s playing me, especially not Arlo. She’s not that type.

  Mammoth: Bro, you sitting there with your dick in your hand tonight?

  Gigi: Ew.

  Tamara: Mammoth.

  Mammoth: What, babe? Serious question. Either he’s out, searching for tail, or he’s home, waiting for Arlo with his dick in his hand. He’s a man. He’s not sitting on the couch watching some sappy chick flick, crying tears.

  Pike: Carmello never waits around for pussy.

  Pike is technically right. At least, the old me never would have. But this me, the one who’s laid eyes on and touched Arlo, is very much sitting around with his dick in his hand…and I hate him.

  Gigi: We’re more than pussy.

  Pike: You ain’t got a dick.

  Gigi: How are you my husband?

  Pike: Because I got that dick you like, darlin’.

  Me: There comes a point where we cross a line as a family and hit TMI. We hit it.

  Lily: Oh.

  Me: Oh?

  Gigi: Oh?

  Tamara: Oh?

  Nick: You all need a life.

  Pike: For fuck’s sake.

  Me: Is this what married life is like, ’cause you’re all super lame.

  Tamara: Yeah, but we all got fucked tonight. Did you?

  Me: Again, TMI, asshat.

  Mammoth: Who’d you fuck?

  Tamara: Shut up, baby. Stop playing games.

  Mammoth: Wait until the kids go to sleep. You’re getting it again.

  Tamara: You making me a promise?

  Me: STOP.

  Gigi: Mello’s grouchy.

  Nick: Blue balls are setting in.

  Rocco: I don’t think he’s gone this long without getting laid in his entire life.

  Me: Lies.

  Rocco: In the last eleven years, what was your longest dry spell?

  I know the answer to his question. It was after Carrie died. She and I were never exclusive, but losing her tore me up. I had a very brief period when I didn’t sleep with anyone because I felt dirty, like I was sullying her memory, and my head was so fucked up, I couldn’t even look at a woman without thinking of her.

  Me: You guys can all fuck off.

  Gigi: Imagine what he’s going to be like after a month.

  Pike: He’ll never last that long.

  Rocco: I’ll throw a hundred on that.

  Mammoth: Me too.

  Gigi: Seriously?

  Nick: He can’t last a week.

  Rocco: I know my brother as well as I know myself, and the only thing he loves more than pussy is a challenge.

  Jo: What the actual fuck? I walk away from my phone for five minutes… I’ll put two hundred on that.

  Nick: Bad bet, babe.

  Rebel: Horrible bet. He was about to head out the door, and it’s been forty-eight hours.

  Me: I was not.

  I turn off the water and step away from the shower, cursing at them under my breath.

  Lily: I’m off the phone now.

  Gigi: I can’t believe how well you can text and talk.

  Tamara: She’s like superwoman.

  Me: What’d she say?

  Rebel: He’s a goner.

  Pike: Totally.

  Mammoth: Done.

  Me: Jesus-fucking-Christ.

  Gigi: Better lock that shit down.

  Me: We’re not in a relationship.

  Gigi: I know. That’s why I said lock it down.

  Me: It’s fake, cousin. It’s all part of Lily’s fact-finding, fix-Mello mission.

  Tamara: Uh-huh.

  Gigi: Feels kinda real. I can hear you panting from here.

  Me:

  Lily: I’m calling you.

  Gigi: Me?

  Tamara: Me?

  Rebel: Me?

  Jo: Me?

  Me: I hate you all.

  Rocco: Nah, man. You love us, but right now, you’re loving on Arlo the most.

  Me: I don’t think it was right for Lily to put her in the middle of all this. I don’t really even know her.

  Rocco: But ya want her.

  I roll my eyes and my phone goes black, then Lily’s name flashes across the screen.

  “Ignore them,” she says as soon as I answer. “They’re stupid.”

  “What’d she say?”

  “No hello. No how are you. Not even, you’re the best cousin, Lily. Just, what’d she say?”

  “Lily,” I warn, my patience wearing thin.

  Lily giggles. “Someone’s not chill about this. I see she left an impression on you.”

  “I saw her tits. Of course she did.”

  “What the hell were you two doing in there with both of your shirts off?”

  “She wanted to see my dragon.”

  “Carmello.”

  “The one on my back, goofball. I showed her, and she asked me to keep my shirt off. I can’t help that she wants to stare at something beautiful. Now, what did she say?”

  Lily’s chuckle doesn’t escape me. She’s loving this and does nothing to hide her sheer enjoyment of my misery. “She only had good things to say, cousin.”

  “You’re not giving me much, babe.”

  “I know.” I can practically hear her smile on the other end of the phone. “She didn’t say much. She said she was going to call you and that time got away from her. She wanted to make sure you were still a go.”

  My stomach flutters, and I’m instantly turned into a pubescent teenage girl. “I’m a go. Totally a go.”

  “I’m glad she called. I was worried that you’d somehow offended her. Figured if you were a complete douche, she wouldn’t want to move forward.”

  “But she wants to, yeah? I may only think with my dick sometimes, but I’m never a douche.”

  “I bet there’re some women out there who would disagree,” Lily tells me. “Anyway, she’s going to call. She just wanted some more info on caring for her tattoo. Her skin is tender.”

  “As it would be,” I reply, knowing the soreness after having more than a few hours under the gun on my own ribs.

  “She’s just been lying low, letting herself heal. But tonight, she’s feeling better and wanted to touch base with you.”

  “Lily,” I whisper and swallow.

  “Yeah, Mello?”

  “I don’t like where this is going,” I admit, collapsing back onto my bed.

  “Why?” she asks, sounding all innocent.

  “You’re both playing me, and I never get played. You couldn’t find someone I’d never met to do this with me? Why her?”

  “Why not her?”

  “Because she’s pretty and we know each other.”

  “Sometimes you have to beat a man at his own game for him to see a little more clearly.”

  “My eyes are fuckin’ wide open, babe. Wide fucking open. You’re not playing fair, and neither is Arlo.”

  “You catchin’ feelings?”

  “No,” I snap.

  “You are.”

  “I spent a little over five hours with the chick. I don’t catch feelings in five hours.”

  “Meh,” she mutters. “Feelings happen, and there’s no reasoning why or how long until they do.”

  “There’re no feelings, cousin. I caught attraction.”

  “Whatever. This is good.”

  “Good?” I ask, pulling the phone away to stare at it. “What do you mean, good?”

  “Arlo isn’t looking for a relationship.”

  “Wait.” I sit up. “You set me up in a fake relationship, to figure out why I can’t be in a relationship, with a chick who isn’t looking for a relationship?”

  “Yeah.”

  “Yeah?”

  “Yeah.”

  “What the fuck, Lil? Do you hear how fucked up that is?”

  “It’s safer for you both.”

  “Safer?”

  “Neither of you is ready for feelings or relationships, but I needed intel and Arlo is the best one to get that. She’s putting herself out there, even in a fake way, because she feels safe to do so.”

  “Safe?”

  “Not my story to tell, honey.”

  “What?”

  “I’ve got to run. It’s getting late. Arlo will text you soon.”

  “Like tomorrow or tonight?”

  “Don’t know. She only said soon.”

  “Fucking hell.”

  “Sucks having to wait for something you want, doesn’t it?”

  “You’re an asshole,” I tell her.

  “I learned from the best, li’l cousin. Love you.”

  “Love you too,” I grumble before the line goes dead.

  Pike: Tomorrow night beers at the Cowboy. We need a night out.

  Mammoth: I’m game.

  Tamara: In.

  Gigi: So ready.

  Nick: We’re in too.

  Jett: Us too.

  Rocco: We could use a night away from the kids. Mello, you in?

  Me: I’ll fucking be there.

  Mammoth: Grouchy bastard.

  Me: Fuck off.

  Mammoth: I take it the bitch didn’t call?

  Tamara: Say that again. I dare you.

  Mammoth: I stand corrected. I take it the lady hasn’t called?

  Tamara: Better.

  Mammoth: Forgot we were among ladies.

  Gigi: Where’s ladies? I remember hearing Tam slobbered on your knob pretty fucking quick. That doesn’t make a lady but a…

  Tamara: Asshole, you literally left a bar with a man you didn’t know, let him sink into you for almost a week, ghosting us, and then ended up with his ring on your finger. You do not get to judge.

  Me: Y’all are giving me a headache. I’m out.

  Jo: Go get her, big man.

  Nick:

  Jo: What? He’s big.

  Nick: Jo baby, you better brace yourself because I’m about to show you a monster.

  Gigi:

  I hit close on the text thread, letting them go back and forth with their bullshit without me being a party to their insanity.

  I swing my legs over the bed, ready to get up and get the fuck out, when my phone rings.

  “Hello.”

  “Mello.” Arlo’s voice washes over me, knocking me backward.

  “Hey, Arlo.”

  “Sorry I didn’t call earlier.”

  “No worries,” I lie. “I wasn’t expecting you to call so soon anyway.”

  “I haven’t done much besides read, trying to keep my mind busy and off the pain.”

  “That bad?” I ask, genuinely curious and concerned. Two things I usually am not about a chick.

  “Just tender and I can’t get comfortable.”

  “Have you been cleaning it?”

  “Yeah, I’m following all the directions.”

  I’m sure she is. I don’t even know why I asked. If she’s anything like my cousin, she’s following each step carefully.

  “You in the mood to go out?” I ask her, never shy and always upfront about what I want.

  “No,” she sighs. “I’m too sore for that, and it requires me getting dressed and putting on a bra.”

  My mind instantly fills with naked Arlo, wearing her glasses and nothing else, curled up in her bed, turning the pages. Nerdy-girl shit that, for some odd reason, suddenly drives me wild.

  “Want company? I can pick up some takeout and bring it to you. Check your ink while I’m there, too.”

  God, I’m lame and I’m fishing, trying to make up reasons why she should say yes. I’ve never worked for a chick’s time, and this one has me begging.

  Get your shit together, man.

  “I’d be down for that, but only if you bring Chinese and don’t mind me looking like a total train wreck.”

  “I don’t think that’s even possible, Arlo.”

  “The Chinese or the mess?”

  “The mess, babe. I’ll make the Chinese happen. Text me what you want, and I’ll be there within the hour.”

  “I’ll do that, but be prepared for a messy bun and no makeup.”

  “Are you wearing your glasses?” I ask.

  There’s silence for a moment before she whispers, “Yes.”

  “What else are you wearing?”

  “Carmello.”

  “Don’t move,” I tell her, hustling my ass off the bed. “I’ll find out for myself. Scratch the hour, I’ll be there in thirty.”

  “I’ll be waiting,” she says, and my dick gets hard.

  As soon as the line goes dead, I glance down at my cock and know the night isn’t going to go as he plans. “Down, boy,” I tell him and then go about ignoring him.

  Fucking Lily.

  10

  “I’m so full,” Arlo says with her hand on her stomach, lying flat on her back while I sit on the floor next to her legs.

  “I don’t think I’ve seen a chick eat so much food, and I have some eaters in my family.” I stare at her, still in shock at the way she polished off every bit of her food and then started on mine.

  “I love to eat, but sometimes my body isn’t friendly about it.”

  “Your body is great, babe.”

  “Thanks, Mello. That’s sweet of you to say, but you don’t need to flatter me.”

  “Not flattering, Arlo. Just telling the truth. You’re absolutely beautiful. All of you. When was the last time you cleaned your ink?”

  “A few hours,” she whispers with a sigh. “I hate doing it because it sucks.”

  “Want me to do it for you? I have a pretty tender touch.” I’m not doing this to be nice. I want to touch her, feel the softness of her skin, and be able to look at her body without having to worry about fucking up her tattoo.

  She opens her eyes and tips her head down, staring at me. “You’d do that for me?”

  I move onto my knees to look down at her. “I’m not being totally selfless, Arlo. I really want to touch you.”

  “I trust you,” she whispers, her green eyes locked on mine. “You were nothing but a gentleman at work and the other times I met you.”

  “What’s your endgame?” I blurt out.

  She blinks. “My endgame?”

  “Yeah, Ar. How did Lily rope you into this? I still can’t figure out how she got me to agree to it, but now that I’ve spent more time with you, I’m totally game for whatever is going to happen next.”

  She pushes herself up, wincing as she does it. The sting is unmistakable, and I remember the soreness I felt for days afterward. She’s tough, but that spot is just a different kind of misery.

  I’m perched by her knees, staring up at one of the prettiest girls I’ve ever seen—and I’ve seen a fucking lot. She looks amazing in the black spaghetti strap tank and loose-fitting shorts I’d give my left nut to shimmy down her legs with my teeth.

  “Do you believe in love?” she asks me, her face serious but sweet.

  “I’ve watched people all around me fall in love. Everyone in my family has been married forever, and they’re happy. I know it’s possible. I just don’t know if it’s possible for me.”

  “I’ve spent my life reading romance books, where people meet their true love, change their colors, and live happily ever after. When Lily told me about you and how she thought you deserved that too, she told me she couldn’t figure out why you were stuck.”

  I smile. “I’m not stuck. I made a life choice.”

  “To be alone?” she asks softly.

  I shake my head. “I’m rarely alone.”

  She raises an eyebrow. “Meaningless sex doesn’t count, Mello. Technically you aren’t alone, but what about when you want to talk to someone because you’re going through some shit and need a person to listen?”

  “I have my family.”

  “Is that fair to them?”

  “Fair?”

  “They have their own things to deal with. Don’t you ever get lonely at night when you’re by yourself in bed?”

  “I could have sleepovers, but I prefer not to have the ladies stick around.”

  She reaches out, brushing her fingers across my skin, scorching me with her featherlight touch. “I believe in true love. I believe there’s someone out there for each of us. Lily wants that for you, and after meeting you, I want that for you too.”