“Nope. None at all. I think she’s avoiding me.” Lynn seemed to be going out of her way to be elusive since then, switching shifts and floors with other nurses.

  “You sure got her attention the other night.” Andi fanned her face with her hand. “You were hotter than hot in that dress.”

  “Did I?” She thought she had, but it hadn’t seemed to make much difference in Lynn’s interest. Any interaction they’d had since had been minimal, and even then she seemed cold and reserved. All business.

  “I’ve never seen Lynn miss a catch. So, yeah.”

  She bit her lip and smirked. “Well, I guess that’s something.” She didn’t know what, but she must be in Lynn’s head, or she wouldn’t be going to so much trouble to avoid her.

  * * *

  Lynn walked around the corner and jolted to a stop when she saw Maggie in Andi’s arms. A rush of heat flashed through her. She’d been doing her best to avoid Maggie for the past few days and hadn’t expected to run into her this morning, let alone while she was flirting with her new paramour. The sight of her wrapped in Andi’s arms made her both jealous and sad. This whole situation was her fault. She’d pushed her into seeing other people to save her own sanity, only it hadn’t done anything close to that. She thought about Maggie more now than she ever had. Why was it so difficult for her to accept the attraction and just go with it?

  Maggie glanced her way over Andi’s shoulder as she leaned against the wall smiling and caught her staring. Lynn spun and headed back in the direction she’d come, running straight into Pam and almost knocking her off her feet as she rounded the corner.

  “Sorry,” she said and tried to angle past her.

  Pam grabbed her shoulders for a moment and glanced down the hallway as Lynn maneuvered around her. “Hang on a minute,” Pam said and followed her. “Are you crying?”

  “No.” Only she was and didn’t want to explain her reasons to Pam right now. She just wanted to get to a place where no one could see her.

  Pam grabbed her arm and pulled her into a vacant room. “What is going on with you? I thought you said you didn’t want to be involved with Maggie.”

  “I did.” She wiped the tears from her eyes.

  “So why the tears?”

  “You saw her.” She scrubbed her face with her hands. “All happy with Andi.”

  “Oh, honey.” Pam swept Lynn into her arms. “If she’s what you want, then tell her. I know she’d rather be all happy with you.”

  “Would she? Really?” Lynn broke free of Pam’s embrace, shot to the other side of the room, and paced back.

  “That girl is totally in love with you. She looks at you like I look at pie. Have you been there with her…to the pie stage?”

  Lynn nodded. “Still there, I’m afraid.”

  “Then stop pretending she doesn’t matter to you and do something.”

  “I’m trying to be practical. Andi’s her age, and they seem to get along well.”

  “We both know there’s nothing practical about love when it happens.” Pam’s voice was deep and full of strength, the way it always sounded when she got serious.

  She continued to pace. “What if she wants kids?”

  “Then you cross that bridge when you come to it.” Pam tilted her head and smiled. “She’d make pretty babies.”

  She shook her head. “I know she would, and she’d be a great mom too. I just don’t know if I can do it again.”

  Pam looked into her eyes and smiled lightly. “I know you can. It’s the want you have to work out.”

  She broke eye contact and paced across the room again. “I did everything for Carrie. Beth was never there.”

  Pam followed her. “She’s not Beth, and if that’s why you’re holding back, then stop. You’re comparing her to a very low standard. Get that out of your head. She’s so much more than Beth ever was.” She took her by the shoulders. “Listen to me. She’s still got a long way to go in her career until she reaches a place where she’ll have time for kids, so why not enjoy yourself until that decision pops up?”

  “What will the other nurses think? What will Carrie think?”

  “Does it matter what anyone else thinks? Can you be happy with her? I mean, really, what do you have to lose?”

  “Besides my heart? Everything.” She could hear the desperation in her own voice. It was ridiculous, but she’d never been so unsure about anything before. “You think I should?”

  “Jesus. Yes. For your own sanity and mine. Stop fighting it and give her a chance.” Pam chuckled. “Stop thinking so much and start following your heart.” She poked her in the chest. “You’ve been miserable since she started hanging out with Andi—even though you encouraged it. Not to mention that you’ve been a huge pain in everyone’s ass around here.”

  “I have not.”

  Pam rolled her eyes and tilted her head. “Is the ‘no drinks near the computer’ sign at the nurses’ station really necessary?”

  “I guess I have been a little anal about things lately. I’ve been trying to keep myself distracted.”

  “All the more reason to let yourself have some fun. If it doesn’t work out, I’ll take the blame for pushing you into it. Not that you need much of a push. A little nudge will do.”

  Lynn laughed and let go of the stress plaguing her. She felt so much better now that she had direction. She was going to do exactly as Pam said and go for it. Suddenly her future was so much clearer. What did she have to lose besides her heart? She took in a deep breath. “I can’t just go out there and tell her now. I need a plan.”

  “Yes, you can. You don’t need a plan. She may be having fun with Andi, but she hasn’t given up on you. Just let it happen.”

  She blew out a breath. “Okay.” She went into the bathroom and splashed her face with water. The avoidance stopped now.

  “Ready?” Pam asked.

  “Ready,” she said as she followed her out of the room. “I hope you’re right about this.”

  “Am I ever wrong about these things?” Pam sliced her a sideways glance and lifted an eyebrow.

  “Nope, never.” She chuckled. Pam knew all the romantic happenings in the hospital, and when she matched people, sometimes even before they’d met, it always happened. “Well, maybe that time with—”

  “That was not my fault.” Pam raised an eyebrow. “I didn’t know either one of them was married, and they still get along great.”

  She raked her fingers through her hair and walked to where Maggie was standing near the nurses’ station. No sign of Andi or any other paramedic in the hallway. “Hey. How’s it going today?”

  Maggie glanced up from the chart she was studying. “Good.” She focused on Lynn. “Is everything okay? I mean, I saw Pam whisk you around the corner. I came to see what was up but couldn’t find you.”

  “I’m fine. Everything’s fine.” She stilled her nerves.

  “Okay, good.” Maggie went back to studying the chart.

  “You want to grab some dinner after shift?” she blurted.

  Maggie seemed surprised, the deer-in-the-headlights look she gave her unmistakable. “Yeah. I’d love to.” A smile crept across her face.

  “I’ll meet you in the lobby later?”

  “Okay,” Maggie said softly, still staring at her. “Wait. Is this some kind of trick? Are you going to give me another lecture about what I’m doing with my life? Because if you are, I’m going to decline.”

  She smiled slightly, trying to keep it all in, but failed as a grin burst across her face. “No. No lecture. I miss you, and I’m tired of avoiding you.” She watched Maggie’s smile broaden before she turned and walked away, realizing she hadn’t felt that good in a long time.

  Chapter Fifteen

  The emergency that came through the door just before Lynn’s shift ended was going to put a kink in her plans to have dinner with Maggie. When she saw that the patient was an infant, she knew Maggie wouldn’t leave without seeing it through.

  Jonathan was on ER rotation and caught the case as it came in. While he was in the exam room assessing the baby, Maggie rushed out of the elevator and headed straight for the nurses’ station. She spun and headed to the parents for more information. Lynn watched as a little girl, probably the older sister, stood just behind the mother’s leg clutching her hand. Maggie listened to the mom for a minute and then bent down and smiled at the child before she spoke. The child nodded, and Maggie immediately sprang up and rushed to the exam area.

  “Wait. There may be something in the airway.” She pushed Jonathan out of the way and placed her ear close to the infant’s mouth.

  “That’s not what the mother said when she came in.”

  “New story.” She swept the child onto her arm and popped her swiftly on her back. A small piece of plastic flew to the floor. “Medicine 101, check the airway first.” Maggie placed the baby on the gurney, put her stethoscope on her chest, and listened. “Distinct wheezing.” She held the baby’s hand in hers, assessed her palm, and glanced at the parents. “Her skin isn’t pink. The pallor is growing pale, almost blue.” She checked the baby’s mouth and airway but couldn’t see the object. “Pulse-ox is below ninety percent, so there must be something else. I can’t see anything, and she’s still wheezing badly. She might need surgery to remove the object.”

  Endoscopic surgery using specialized instruments to remove the foreign body from the esophagus or breathing passages through the mouth wasn’t all that common, but necessary in cases like this. This procedure would be done under general anesthesia, and Lynn knew the parents might be reluctant, as would she be if she wasn’t well aware of how this scenario could end without it.

  Lynn had no idea why Jonathan hadn’t checked her history and talked to the older sister. She got the attention of the father, who was holding the sister in his arms, and took them outside of the exam area. “Did the baby put more than one thing in her mouth?”

  The child, who could have been five years old at the oldest, looked at her father as though she might get into trouble. So many times children don’t disclose things because they’re scared.

  He immediately kissed her on the forehead. “It’s not your fault, honey. We just need to know, so we can make Kylie better.”

  The little girl nodded, and Lynn rushed back into the exam area. “The sister confirmed that she swallowed more than one object.”

  Maggie didn’t waste any more time. She pulled up the rails and started moving the bed out of the room toward the elevator, then turned back to Lynn. “I need to get the consent form signed.”

  Lynn shoved a clipboard into her hand. “I’ll take her and meet you in CT,” she said and watched Maggie rush back to the parents. Maggie had made the right call, and hopefully the second object would be easily removed. Otherwise it was going to be a long night for both of them.

  * * *

  Lynn was lingering near the surgery waiting room watching, when Maggie came through the door. She wanted to be there in case there wasn’t a good resolution. A smile broke across Maggie’s face as she rushed across the room to the parents and spoke before she dropped down and brushed the hair from the older sister’s eyes. The little girl hugged Maggie, and the weight lifted from Lynn’s shoulders. Everything was okay.

  She’d never waited for Beth after surgery. Beth had always been so confident and sure of herself that she’d never let Lynn see any vulnerability, ever. She wasn’t sure if Maggie would be the same, but she hoped not. Long ago Lynn had found she needed a partner who would share the joys and fears of life with her. Beth hadn’t done that with her, or anyone. Her bottled-up emotions made Beth cold and impersonal as the years of their marriage continued. How had Lynn survived it?

  When Maggie returned to the elevator and pressed the button, Lynn clearly saw the blanket of panic take over Maggie’s face. Maggie was second-guessing herself. She rushed to her side but didn’t make eye contact. “Helluva job you did with that baby.”

  “Was it? Really?” Maggie asked as the elevator doors opened.

  Lynn grabbed her arm and tugged her inside. “Stop doubting yourself. To succeed in pediatrics, you have to have lightning-fast critical-thinking skills, good instincts, and the ability to follow your gut.” Tears were brimming at the edges of Maggie’s eyes as she stared straight ahead, and Lynn’s stomach clenched.

  “The CT scan wasn’t clear. I only suspected something was still trapped in her airway. What if I’d been wrong?” Maggie’s voice cracked as she spoke. “I would’ve performed an unnecessary procedure on a tiny body.”

  “You weren’t wrong.” Lynn’s voice softened, and she took her into her arms. “If you have a hunch that something doesn’t look quite right, you always need to consider it. Pediatric patients can go from awake and talking one minute to completely unresponsive the next—with absolutely no warning.”

  She released Maggie and took a step back, reminding herself of the boundaries she’d set for herself. “Unlike adults, children are great at compensating for whatever’s going on until, all of a sudden, they crash.” The elevator doors opened, and they walked to the recovery room where the baby lay sleeping. She took Maggie by the hand and led her to the corner of the room, where they couldn’t be seen behind the curtain. She reached over, wiped the moisture from Maggie’s cheeks, and then held her face in her hands. “Also unlike adults, kids have an uncanny ability to bounce back.” They glanced over at the bed when she heard the baby stirring. Kylie opened her eyes and immediately smiled. “And the optimism is palpable.”

  Maggie let out a laugh, the relief in her eyes clear now. This incident could’ve ended many different ways. Jonathan had been too confident in his decision earlier, but Maggie had kept her cool and assessed the situation appropriately. As it was, Lynn had been impressed by Maggie and had glimpsed a vulnerability that Maggie rarely revealed. That glimpse made her feel needed.

  * * *

  The elevator stopped at Maggie’s floor, and she started out.

  “I’m sorry we didn’t get to go out to dinner, but what you did for that baby tonight…” Lynn closed her eyes, and a tingle ran through her as she remembered what had happened. “The way you took charge and saved her was amazing.”

  Maggie held the door for a moment, then spun around inside and let the elevator doors close. She scrunched her forehead. “Jonathan will probably be pissed at me forever.”

  “Do you really care if he is?”

  Maggie shook her head. “No. Not really. He’s an asshole.”

  “He really is.” Lynn chuckled. “You’re going to be a great pediatrician, Maggie.”

  “You think so?” Maggie asked, staring into her eyes.

  She nodded. “I really do. Jonathan, on the other hand, has a lot more to learn.”

  “Yeah. He always seems to be looking for the obvious and doesn’t rely on his gut much. He’s a little full of himself, but I think this one really might have hit home.”

  “Good, because someone’s going to get hurt if he doesn’t pay more attention.”

  Maggie walked with her to her apartment, but Lynn had promised herself she wouldn’t invite her in. It was too soon. If she did, they wouldn’t be able to stop the chemistry between them from exploding into a huge pile of regret. She would regret it, wouldn’t she? The proximity between them was making her wonder. She’d been ridiculously impressed earlier and was quickly rethinking her decision to keep her distance tonight. But she still needed time to process the path she wanted to take with Maggie and didn’t want to screw it up by rushing anything.

  “I’m not letting you come inside.”

  Maggie moved closer and put her hands on Lynn’s hips. “Are you sure?”

  Lynn closed her eyes and took in a breath. “I’m sure.”

  Maggie hovered closer. “Okay. Then I’ll leave you with this.”

  Lynn leaned against the door for some distance but, instead, found herself pressed up against it, being kissed with such power and tenderness that all her doubts faded away. She tingled as their tongues mingled, touching and baiting each other in a dance that she’d imagined thousands of times. Literally holding on for dear life, she wrapped her arms around Maggie’s neck and pulled her closer. The sensations coursing through her had never been so strong. The heat between them hadn’t faded. Seemingly stoked by their days apart, each day was another flaming log thrown on top, and the blaze was raging out of control. Maggie could still make her feel a thousand days younger than her years, and she reveled in the sensation. The confusion overwhelmed her, but clearly nothing had changed from the first time they’d kissed so long ago. Lynn couldn’t get past the wonder of how incredible it felt for Maggie to hold her.

  The kiss ended as quickly as it had begun, and Lynn felt cold when Maggie backed up, stared into her eyes for a moment, and then turned and walked slowly to the elevator, her hips swaying ever so slightly. As she watched Maggie get into the elevator, Lynn pressed her palms to the door, holding herself in place for fear she might bolt that way, chase her down the hallway and beg her to come back.

  Lynn finally managed to slide the key into the lock and get inside her apartment. She closed the door and leaned against it for a moment. She hadn’t expected anything like that to happen tonight. In fact, a week ago she hadn’t expected to ever let it happen. When she knew she’d be entering the elevator with Maggie, she’d immediately sent a text to Pam that simply said SOS. After watching Maggie perform today, her resolve to venture forward slowly was crumbling, and after the kiss she’d just received it had disappeared entirely. They both knew it was a game-changer.

  * * *

  Maggie entered the elevator without looking back. She couldn’t, or she would never be able to leave Lynn standing there. She couldn’t keep hiding the feelings she’d kept locked away in the vault of her past for so long. Knowing that Lynn had been watching her and thought she was a good doctor had broken the seal, and they’d tumbled out in full force. Lynn’s confidence in her had made Maggie braver than she’d ever been in the past, so she’d taken a chance and kissed her. She’d been unsure of Lynn’s reaction at first, but when she’d leaned closer, she’d felt the rhythm of her hammering heartbeat and knew it matched her own. She’d gripped her hips tighter, and when Lynn had pressed into her, she’d forged ahead. The slow, erotic, body-tingling kiss she’d received in return had confirmed that Lynn still had feelings for her, and she could build on that certainty.