* * *

  When Maggie opened the door, she was totally surprised to see Carrie standing in the hallway and even more surprised to see her scowl. “Hey. I thought you and Lynn would be on your way to Clear Meadow Farm by now.”

  Carrie pushed past her into the apartment, spun around, and threw the T-shirt and boyshorts at her. “You’re fucking my aunt?”

  “Wow. You sure know how to make something sound cheap.”

  “Don’t even.” Carrie came at her hot. “You’ve been after her for years.”

  She balled her fist around the clothing in her hand and stood her ground. “You know what? You’re right. I begged Lynn to love me back then, and it just about killed me when she said no.”

  “You just couldn’t leave her alone, could you?”

  “Honestly, I asked her point-blank when I found out she was single, and she told me no again, asked me to back off. So I did.” Her face heated as anger bubbled inside. “But you can’t stop something that’s meant to be.”

  “If you choose to continue with this ridiculousness, we will no longer be friends.”

  “I made that mistake once before and lost four years with her because of you. I’m not letting her go again.”

  Lynn rushed into the apartment. “Both of you stop. Right now. I could hear you from the elevator.” She stood between them. “No one makes decisions for me, except me.” She took Carrie’s arm and pulled her to the door. “Let’s go.”

  “Lynn. Wait,” Maggie called after her.

  Lynn turned back, put a hand up, and said, “Not now. I can’t.” She turned away quickly and pulled the door shut behind her.

  Maggie’s logic had been flawed. Of course Carrie would be okay with Maggie dating an older woman, but she wasn’t aware that older woman was her aunt. How stupid could she be? How could she throw that in Carrie’s face after lying to her about everything? She had no idea how she was going to make this right. She spent the rest of the evening pacing the apartment and then finally ended up curled into a ball in bed. It was past ten p.m. and she hadn’t heard from Lynn or Carrie. She’d forced herself not to text or call either of them, but her resolve was weakening. They needed time to work things out between them. Hopefully Lynn could convince Carrie that her feelings for Lynn were genuine and that she’d never intended to hurt her.

  She jumped when her phone chimed. A text from Lynn.

  She’s gone home.

  I’ll be right up.

  No. I have an early shift. I need to rest.

  Maggie hit the button to call her. She refused to have this discussion via text. It was too important. The phone rang a few times before Lynn answered, not a good sign.

  “Did you talk to her? Explain we haven’t done anything wrong?”

  “I did.”

  “Sooo—”

  “She doesn’t care. According to her, we’ve both betrayed her trust. We lied about the whole thing.”

  “So, she’s upset that we lied, or she’s upset about the relationship?”

  “Both.”

  “You know she’ll come around.”

  “She didn’t the last time,” Lynn said, sounding deflated and weary. “You spent four years away, and she didn’t once tell you it was okay, did she?”

  “I want to see you.” She went to the door, held the knob. “We need to talk about this.”

  “Not tonight. I need to think.”

  “What does that mean?” Her voice cracked, vulnerability seeping out. Was Lynn really considering breaking up with her?

  “Honestly, I don’t know.”

  “So you’re just going to stop seeing me because of Carrie?” She paced the living room. “That’s crazy.”

  “I need to go.” Lynn’s voice wavered, and Maggie knew she was on the verge of tears. “Please don’t come up. I need some time to sort this out.”

  “Okay,” she said, and the line went dead.

  She couldn’t deny the pain slashing through her heart as she sank to the couch. She’d just found out how insignificant she was to Lynn and might have lost the only woman she’d ever really loved.

  Chapter Twenty-five

  Maggie’s stomach jumped when she spotted Lynn at the nurses’ station. It had been two days since they’d spoken, and she hadn’t seen Lynn at all since she’d asked her for space. Maybe she should turn around and walk the other way, but her heart wouldn’t let her. Her feet, almost on autopilot, took her to the spot right next to Lynn, where she waited as Lynn finished charting a patient’s vitals. She couldn’t avoid Lynn at work. They were both very involved with Tiffany and Chase, and Maggie didn’t intend to abandon them because she was uncomfortable.

  When Lynn looked up, her eyes were dull, circles surrounding them as though she hadn’t slept. The sight cut through her, but at least she was feeling the pain too.

  “Hi,” Lynn said softly.

  “Hi. Are you okay?”

  “No.” She shrugged. “I can’t see you until Carrie comes around to the idea. No matter how long it takes.”

  Her neck burned, and she almost couldn’t catch her breath. “And if she doesn’t?” A lump formed in her throat, and she fought to hold the tears threatening to spill from her eyes.

  “Then I don’t know.”

  That wasn’t a sufficient answer. She couldn’t just wait in the background while her best friend dictated her future. The fact that Lynn was going to let Carrie call the shots made her wonder if she was wrong about their whole connection. For her to just let her go without a fight didn’t make sense and was incredibly hurtful.

  “How are the Roberts kids today?” Lynn asked.

  So, this was the way she was going to play it from now on, strictly business. Maggie took in a deep breath and shoved all her emotions back into the cage they’d begun crawling from. “Being released soon,” she said, hearing the waver in her own voice. She’d always been good at concealing her emotions when she had to, but this time it was so much harder.

  “Oh. That’s good. Who’s taking them?”

  “I don’t know. Social services hasn’t cleared them to go with Ariel yet. I don’t think they’re convinced she’s prepared to care for the children.”

  “Maybe she’s not. She’s barely twenty-one and living away at college. In another state.” Lynn spoke with such conviction, maybe she was right.

  She shook the thought from her head. “I’ve talked to her. She’ll be okay.”

  “She’s not you, Maggie. She may not be able to handle it. Don’t you remember how difficult it was for you?”

  “It wasn’t that hard.”

  “It was. You ended up at my house in tears.”

  “That was because of my mother, not because my dad died.”

  “It all goes together. Don’t you see that? Think about what you had to do when your dad died.”

  “This has nothing to do with that.”

  “It has everything to do with that. You had to step into the world of adulthood immediately. You didn’t have an opportunity to be a teenager, to go through adolescence normally. She’ll have to give all that up too. Do you want that for her?”

  “She’s not an adolescent. She’s twenty-one, much older than I was when I lost my dad. She can handle it.”

  “She’s still in her formative years. What if she can’t? You just don’t stop raising kids when they turn eighteen. Your expectations for Ariel are just as high as your mother’s were for you. You need to realize the differences between you and Ariel. She’s already on her path, and it’s going to be interrupted, put on hold at the very least.”

  “Don’t bring my mother into this.” This was not the day for this discussion.

  “You’re more like her than you’d like to think. That demanding streak in you—”

  “I’m nothing like my mother.” She stiffened. Even thinking she could be anything like the woman was ridiculous.

  “She had no idea how hard it was for you. She just sent you out on your own. Now you’re going to do the same thing to Ariel, only she has a sister and brother to care for as well. She’ll be even more scarred than you.”

  “Oh. So now I’m scarred as well as demanding?”

  “Jesus, Maggie. I didn’t mean it like that.” She took her by the arms and held her. “We always say we aren’t going to be the same as the ones who hurt us, but the pattern has to be broken.”

  Maggie pushed out of her grasp. “No. You don’t get to do that anymore. I’m not a child, and I won’t be in that kind of relationship with you. There are things you can’t do, and there are things I won’t do.”

  “You’re just like Beth. You have no idea what it takes to be a good parent.”

  She was tired of being compared to someone who didn’t have a shred of compassion. She bit her bottom lip, trying to hold in her anger, but it spilled out anyway. “I’m nothing at all like Beth, and the fact that you can’t see that makes me wonder if we ever even had a shot. If I’d just stayed in Boston…” She took in a breath, trying to keep her voice steady. “My heart would still be mine, and life would so much easier now.” At least her life would be hers and hers alone, without Lynn to make her doubt all her choices.

  “You don’t mean that.” Tears gathered in the corners of Lynn’s eyes. The statement had clearly cut deep. Lynn didn’t say another word. She just swiped away the tears, spun around, and took off down the hallway. Maggie wanted to run after her, take her into her arms, and tell her she didn’t mean any of it. But she couldn’t hold her anger back any longer. It had been festering for days and was now front and center in everything she did. She’d needed to release it.

  She stood just outside Chase’s room and took in a deep breath. These kids would not see the turmoil in her life. It was now or never. She plastered on a smile and pushed open the door. “Hey, guys. How are we doing today?”

  Tiffany didn’t look up, just kept her eyes on the computer sitting on her lap, but Chase smiled widely. Ariel glanced up from the magazine she’d been reading but remained seated in the corner chair.

  “I can wiggle my toes more,” he said as he did exactly that.

  “That’s awesome.” She touched his big toe. “This little piggy went to market, this little piggy stayed home…”

  Chase quickly joined her. “This little piggy had roast beef, this little piggy had none. This little piggy went wee, wee, wee, all the way home.” They both laughed when they finished.

  She glanced over at Tiffany, who had looked up from the laptop and was smiling. It usually took her a minute, but she always seemed to join in the fun. “What are you playing today, Princess Tiff?” Maggie had used the nickname since Tiffany had first come out of anesthesia after surgery, and she seemed to like it.

  “No game today.” She glanced at Chase’s leg. “The internet says he’s going to need physical therapy for a while.” Tiffany seemed very smart and was very inquisitive.

  “That’s true. Probably outpatient a few times a week.”

  “So, we can go home?”

  “I think we may be able to spring you both tomorrow.”

  “Will you come see us?”

  “Of course. I’ll put you on my schedule.” She never got involved with patients. It was best to let them go when they left the hospital. But these children were different and had earned a small place in her heart, so in this case she’d make an exception.

  “They really like you,” Ariel said. “They’re never that happy to see me.”

  “You just have to be interested in what they have to say.”

  “You talk to them like my mom and dad did.” Tears began to well in her eyes. “I don’t know if I can fill that role.”

  “Hey. Why don’t we get out of here?” She held out her hand and Ariel took it. “I’m borrowing your sister for a little while. Don’t cause any trouble while we’re gone.”

  “We will,” Tiffany said as they left the room.

  She stopped by the nurses’ station and grabbed a couple of sodas before she led Ariel to the family waiting room, where they sat in the corner.

  She handed Ariel one of the sodas, then opened hers and took a drink as she relaxed into her chair.

  “Child Services hasn’t signed off on you taking your brother and sister yet. So, they’ll probably be placed in foster care until that issue is resolved.”

  “What? They can’t do that, can they?”

  “They can and they will, but hopefully only for a couple of days.”

  “Will they stay together?”

  “I don’t know. They always try to keep siblings together, but it depends on who’s available to care for them.”

  Ariel stared across the room. “My parents would never forgive me if I let that happen.”

  She took Ariel’s hand. “Listen. I know this is hard.”

  “You don’t. You have no idea.”

  “Actually, I do. I didn’t lose both my parents, but I did lose my dad.” She stared into Ariel’s eyes, not losing contact. “It hit my mom so hard that she was a wreck for a long time after that.”

  “So you and your brothers and sisters were placed in foster care?”

  “No. I didn’t have any brothers and sisters, and I didn’t go into foster care, but I had to take care of my mother.” She took in a deep breath. “It won’t be easy, but they’ll be okay until you get custody. I’ll be here to help you.” She reached into her pocket and took out her phone. “What’s your phone number?”

  Ariel rattled off her number as Maggie typed it into the “To” area of the text. She typed in her name and her address and sent the text.

  “You can call me anytime you need to.”

  The phone chimed from Ariel’s pocket, and she smiled.

  “Do you have kids?”

  “Not yet, but someday.”

  “You’ll make a good mom.”

  “I hope so,” she said with a smile, warming at the comment. But the warmth vanished when she thought about the argument she’d just had with Lynn.

  * * *

  Lynn had seen Maggie leading Ariel from the hospital room and had followed them to the family room down the hall. She’d stood just outside the open door and listened as they talked. A mixture of admiration and trepidation washed over her as Maggie calmed Ariel. Everything she’d said would put Ariel on the right path to caring for her brother and sister, except the part where Maggie would be there to help. Maggie couldn’t guarantee she would be involved in Ariel’s life and shouldn’t promise, especially with her schedule at the hospital. There was a line between doctor and patient for a reason, even with children. Each day in pediatrics Lynn fought the battle to stay detached. It wasn’t easy, but she forced herself to leave the after-hospital issues to social services.

  The Maggie standing in front of her earlier was so much different than the Maggie she’d held in her arms a few nights before. The raw emotion she’d seen was gone, replaced with some sort of skewed logic. It was possibly the only way Maggie could deal with the set of circumstances, considering the similarities between Ariel’s and her own adolescent situation.

  The other big game-changer had been Carrie’s discovery of their relationship and her own lack of certainty in dealing with it. She’d made a horrible mistake by not talking to Maggie after Carrie left to explain her concerns and make her understand. She’d tried to call Maggie several times, but each time her phone had gone directly to voice mail. Lynn didn’t know if she could walk this tightrope much longer. Her heart was being torn in two different directions. She did love Maggie and couldn’t imagine a future without her, but she couldn’t go back on everything she’d promised Carrie in the past either.

  At the end of her shift, after circling the hospital outside several times, Lynn found herself sitting in Heather’s office located in her private practice in the medical building adjacent to the hospital. Heather had one more patient to see and then would be done for the day, and Pam would be there shortly to pick her up.

  The door clicked open and brought Lynn out of her thoughts. Pam walked in and sat in the chair next to her and said, “Hey. What are you doing here?”

  “Carrie found out about Maggie, and I don’t know what to do.” Normally she would’ve started with something simple, but she couldn’t muster small talk right now. She hadn’t told Pam about Carrie’s reaction to her discovery of her relationship with Maggie, or how she’d discovered it.

  “I take it she was upset?”

  She nodded. “I’ve never seen her like that or heard her use the word ‘fuck’ so much.” She went through how it had all played out and tried to keep her emotions calm.

  “Hmm.” Pam seemed thoughtful. “What do you think that’s about?”

  “Apparently, she knew Maggie had a crush on me before.”

  Pam’s eyebrows went up. “When she was younger?”

  She nodded. “When they were in college. Maggie spent a lot of time at our house. She practically lived there.”

  Pam’s face relaxed as she took in the information. “So she thinks you and Maggie were involved while you were married to Beth.”

  “Yes.”

  Pam tilted her head and asked, “Were you?”

  A chill ran through her as memories floated through her mind. “We weren’t. I swear. I put a stop to that as soon as I knew what was happening.”

  “And she doesn’t believe you,” Pam said.

  The breath she took in caught in her throat as she thought about Carrie’s ultimatum. “She told Maggie to stay away from me or they would no longer be friends.” Hearing that demand had ripped at Lynn’s heart. How could she possibly do that to Maggie again? Yet Carrie had done exactly that, and Lynn had stolen the choice from Maggie and made it herself. She could never let anyone or anything ruin her relationship with her daughter. Could she?

  “Okay.” Pam seemed to be putting the pieces together in her head. “You always wondered why Maggie disappeared so quickly and never kept in touch.”