Bull reapers mc book 7, p.13
Bull (Reapers MC Book 7),
p.13
“Get your sweet ass upstairs and ask him. I doubt he’ll say no to you. Plus, the rest of us are helping the contractors get started. People are bitchin’ because they’re packed in like sardines here. We can’t let you go into town with no backup, little lamb.”
I love it when he calls me little lamb in private, but in public it makes me want to throttle him.
“Fine. Bye.” I hiss, irritated as hell. Ashley laughs at my small outburst, so I’m taking it she’s gotten fed up with this shit before too. I rise from the couch and head up the stairs, going straight to Fist’s room. I rap my knuckles on the door lightly. “Fist, it’s Alexa. Bull needs us to go pick up something he ordered in town at the auto store and go grab some shit the contractors forgot. I can’t go alone because . . . of my situation. Can you please come with me so I’m not going out alone?”
Surprisingly the door opens as soon as I finish talking. “Of course, it would be foolish to make you go by yourself. Let’s take my truck.”
In a matter of ten minutes Fist and I are in the center of town parked in front of the auto store. He walks inside with me and I give the cashier Bull’s legal name for the online pickup. The cashier wants to know who I am to Lucas, so I explain I’m his girlfriend and he creates this whole thing about Lucas not being the one picking up the order and calls over his manager. Fast forward twenty minutes, one intense phone call with my ol’ man and we’re finally walking out of the store with everything he ordered.
“Want to walk down the block to the general store?” I ask Fist. It’s a beautiful sunny day, so we might as well take advantage of it. God knows it could snow here with a snap of our fingers.
“Might as well. I’m sure they’ll have everything Bull needs.” Bull texted me a list of everything and for the most part it’s stupid little things that shouldn’t have been forgotten. For example, they need sticks to put in the ground and those plastic things that go on the end of them. Not to mention a staple gun, staples and screws. Like I said, stupid little things.
I realize I left my wallet at Fist’s on the couch so he pays for all the stuff and we start our walk back to his truck. Both of us have our hands full, with Fist holding a majority of the load. “Thank you for helping me,” I say, offering a small smile to the older man.
“It’s my pleasure, sweetie. Honestly, it was good to get me out. Reminds me of when I’d come into town with Saffron when she needed a couple things,” His voice shifts from a normal tone to where he cracks mid-way through his words. Fist clears his throat and continues speaking, “Sorry. Still have a hard time believing she’s really gone.”
I stop, placing my hand on his shoulder and stare up to this man with one of the sweetest souls. “She isn’t gone. She is with you. Right in here,” I put my hand over his heart, “Don’t ever forget that. Okay?”
“Now I see why Bull claimed ya. He must’ve had one hell of an intuition when it came to you, Alexa. That boy did good with you, that’s for sure.”
“Thank you, I really—” I’m cut off by a man who steps in front of us. It’s really weird. You only hear about this stuff when it comes to creeps in the big cities.
“Did you say Alexa?” The man asks, causing me to keep my attention trained on him. Something about him is familiar yet I can’t place him. It doesn’t help he’s covered with facial hair. I look closer at his features and start to put the pieces together. The stress lines in the center of his forehead, but what gives him away is his eyes.
They’re even worse than I remember. Viciousness pours from them, promising danger is soon to follow.
“Get away from me!” I scream, stepping backward. At this point Fist is on high alert and shoves my father backward, causing him to fall back a few feet. I feel like I’m in an action film as my father comes running toward me but at the last second Fist jumps in front of me, dropping the bags as he does. He moves his hands and the sound of a gunshot rings through the streets of Billings, Montana.
Screams fill the streets around us and I see my father bleeding out on the pavement in front of us. Meanwhile Fist is on the ground as well. Only I notice there’s something black sticking out of his chest. It takes me a moment to see the blade so I shoot to the ground beside the old man.
“Oh my God!” I repeat it over and over while I’m still in shock. Ultimately, I take off my jacket and place it on his wound, careful to not shift the weapon in any way and apply pressure to hopefully stop the bleeding. “Fist, stay with me. Okay? Stay with me.”
The old man puts his right hand up over mine and holds my own. “Alexa, if I go, I go. It’s where the two women I love are. I’ve been a lucky man, loving two incredible women. I miss them both so much and it’s time I reunite with them.”
“You don’t know you’re dying.” I say, searching his eyes for some recognition he’s fighting for his life.
“Sweetie, I feel everything in my body right now. I won’t make it out of this. Now before I go you tell them I love them. You tell my kids. Tell . . . Ashley she’s the most compassionate woman I’ve ever met. She’s just like her momma and her momma would’ve been damn proud of the lady she’s grown into. Kade, tell him I’m sorry for everything I did, for treating Ivy like shit and I hope he can forgive me. Tell Zane I . . .”
Fist’s eyelashes start to flutter before my eye and I yank his hand, trying not to cry over this obviously dying man’s body. “Fist, what do I tell Zane?” I ask, wanting to get this answer for him.
“He’s always the one who was meant to lead. I believe in him and he’d better not fuck up my club,” Fist chuckles at the last bit before his eyes go blank and I see his chest stop going up and down.
This couldn’t have just happened; it has to be a fucking dream. “Ma’am, what happened?” A female police officer comes up to me.
“Fist Monroe saved my life. That man came at me with a knife and he . . .” I cry out, looking at my hands still putting pressure on a lifeless man’s wounds.
“Ma’am, my name is Mia and I’m here to help.” Mia takes my hands from Fist’s body and looks at me with more compassion than anyone has ever given me in my entire life.
What just happened right before my eyes shows me how important every moment we have is. If I’ve learned anything today, it’s how everything can change in a split second. Fist’s death was the wake-up call I needed in order to tell Bull how I really feel.
I won’t take any time we have for granted ever again.
This may be insensitive of me, but I can’t help needing to tell Bull how I really feel about him. Being in the lifestyle he’s in, something like this could happen at any given moment and I may never get the chance to tell him I love him.
Epilogue
Goodbyes are not forever. Goodbyes are not the end. They simply mean I’ll miss you until we meet again.
~Unknown
Bull
One Week Later . . .
“Are you ready?” I ask Alexa who’s staring at her reflection in the mirror of our bedroom. She looks back to me using it, takes in a deep breath and sighs.
“I don’t think anyone is ready for this, Lucas.” She’s only said my legal name to me once, a few hours after Fist had died. She unleashed her heart and told me how she didn’t want to live with regrets, seeing firsthand how things could be taken from us within an instant. Alexa confessed she loved me.
I was taken aback by her admitting how she felt. Honestly, I didn’t think she’d utter those words for a long while.
Taking a few steps toward her I place my hands on her shoulders and give her a squeeze. “I know, little lamb. Today is going to be rough.”
Alexa turns all of a sudden and stares me down, tears pouring from her eye. “Lucas, I feel like this is all my fault. If we had driven down the street maybe I would’ve seen my father and all of this could’ve been prevented.”
Fuck, no. She’d better not be doing this shit. None of this is on her. “Alexa, listen to me, okay? You couldn’t have done anything differently. If you had you might be the one we’re putting in the ground and God . . . I don’t think I could’ve handled that.” I try to keep my voice strong but half-way through I lose my balls and my voice cracks like a boy going through puberty. Alexa has lit a fire inside me where I thought I couldn’t ever ignite again. She’s shown me I can love another woman. But while she’s opened up my heart, she’s also opened the door to my worst nightmare— losing the woman I love, again.
Arizona’s death crushed me unlike anything else. I refuse to allow the same thing to happen to Alexa. I wouldn’t be able to survive it.
“I-I know, but I’m so . . . guilt ridden.” she admits.
“Alexa, I love you so fuckin’ much but blaming yourself isn’t going to bring Fist back. He died using the strongest muscle in his body, his heart. Everyone will remember him as one of the most compassionate Prez’s in history. He had a heart of gold and his fists were hard as rocks. He protected you when I couldn’t, when I promised you I would. I feel like I failed you, yet I am so grateful for him. He saved the one thing that matters to me the most.” I wrap my arms around Alexa, yanking her into my chest and give her the strongest hug I can.
Alexa doesn’t say anything after we pull away from our embrace and we both head outside to my truck. Within fifteen minutes we’re at the club, on the back side of the property where Ashley’s mom, Cracker and all our lost brothers have been buried. Much to my surprise, I see brothers from Vegas up here.
It looks like the only ones who aren’t in attendance are Amara, Chaz, Cobra and Widow. I bet they stayed behind to make sure they still had manpower at our other charter.
Ivy is standing alongside Kade who has an arm wrapped around her. She’s sporting a pretty decent baby bump at this point. Ashley and Blackjack are talking to them while Zane is standing at Fist’s casket by himself. The rest of the brothers and ol’ ladies are scattered around the grounds speaking to others in small groups.
Slipping my hand through Alexa’s I walk forward to where most of the Monroes are. Ashley peers up with her reddened face. “Bull, Alexa,” she mutters, giving us both tight hugs. “I’m so glad you came. I was worried you wouldn’t.”
“Why would you think that?” I inquire, wanting to know where Ashley’s thoughts lay.
“I was afraid because of the circumstances you might not have felt welcome,” Ashley turns looking directly to my other half. “You are one of us, Alexa. We want you to be here. I’m not a mind reader or anything but I’d like to think I have a pretty decent perception. I’m sure you’re wondering if something could have gone differently. It wouldn’t have. When fate has plans for us, we simply can’t alter them.”
Ivy starts hiccupping with tears, “This is exactly why I love our family so damn much.” Kade rubs her back in a soothing manner, trying to calm her down.
Alexa grabs onto Ashley’s hand and takes her twenty feet or so away from us. She had told me Fist had messages to give his kids, so I’m certain she’s likely relaying them in private. While she’s taken a step away, I look to my right at Kade and Ivy. “Have you guys found the gender out yet?”
Ivy beams, smiling from ear to ear. “We have. It’s a boy.”
I slap Kade on the back, “What amazing news! Decide on any names?”
Kade smiles as he looks down to Ivy. “Yes. The four of us have come together in a sense. Blackjack, Ashley, Ivy and myself. Our son’s name will be George Orion Monroe, and what is the name you’ll choose if you have a boy?” Kade asks Blackjack who smirks.
“Lloyd Fist Walters,” Wow. He’s naming his son after his father-in-law. Not many things hit me deep in the heart, but this one sure as fuck does. It’s the proper way to honor both of these amazing men who we lost far too soon.
Zane comes into view with an urn in his hands, walking toward us. “Are we ready to get this thing started? I think it’s about high time we lay both of these men to rest.”
Furrowing my brows, I ask, “What do you mean?”
He glances down at the urn, “Uncle Cracker is in here. Dad told us not to spread his ashes until he passed,” Zane shuts his eyes, sucking in a deep breath. “Just happened way sooner than I thought.”
“Yeah,” I mutter.
“C’mon, let’s wrangle in the troops and honor our fallen brother.”
Authors Note
Dear Readers,
By the end of this, you’re crying just as badly as I am. I unapologetically went through two boxes of tissues writing these last couple chapters, knowing just how badly all our hearts would be breaking. Even though Fist was fictional, he was a truly good person. He was there for every person who needed him to be and stood up for those who couldn’t defend themselves— in this case, up to his very last moment.
I know some of you are probably pissed. You wanted Fist to come back from his depression and find love again. But he wouldn’t have been able to do that. Losing his wife and then losing Saffron was slowly killing him. He had a broken heart and so it’s poetic his death was caused by a knife through the chest.
Now onto other things. I know you’re wondering where the hell Grizzly’s sadistic ass is. Well, I won’t be giving you spoilers, but I can say you’ll find out in Cobra which is releasing in one month!
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Elizabeth Knox, Bull (Reapers MC Book 7)
