“What do you mean?” I need for him to elaborate. I think I know what he’s saying, but until he lays it out on the line I won’t really know.

  “I’m only saying if you need help, for someone to wash your back and get the places you can’t, I’m here. I imagine you really want a good bath before you get into the new clothes Blackjack brought for you.”

  I nod. Hell yeah I want a good bath. “What the hell, you’ve already seen me naked once.”

  My words give Bull the answer he needed and he goes over to check on the tub. Sticking his hand under the water I see him smile, “Not too hot, not too cold. I think you’ll be comfortable.”

  “Great. Thank you.” I reply.

  Bull grabs another bottle next to the soap and shampoo and pours some of the liquid into the water so it bubbles up. I didn’t even notice he had another bottle in his hand. While he’s turned away I unzip his coat and allow it to fall over my arms, and finally see what the heavy coolness on my chest was. He’s put his leather vest on me. I see it reads enforcer and has his name on it. “What’s an enforcer?” I question, causing him to turn back to me.

  “Uh, it means I’m the guy who defends the club. If someone threatens us, or our families I’m the one who will enforce the club power.”

  “So, you’re an ass kicker?”

  He chuckles lightly, “I guess you could say that.”

  Repeating what I did to his coat, I do the same to the vest allowing it to fall from my shoulders. However, for some reason Bull is quick to grab it from my shoulders, takes it from behind me and hangs it up on the hook by the door.

  He then glances over my body, eyes staring a little longer than necessary. “See something you like?” I joke, causing him to redirect his attention back up to my eye.

  “Sorry. I didn’t realize the extensiveness of your bruises until now. What the hell did they do to you?”

  I chuckle lightly, careful not to laugh too hard. I don’t want my ribs to kill me again. “Well thanks for killing my distraction from the pain.”

  “Ah, shit. I’m fuckin’ up all sorts of ways.” Bull mutters, taking a step toward me he slides his left arm under my legs and his right arm goes under my butt yet somehow supports my back. He bends down and puts me into the hot water. While it’s sweltering hot I moan at the heat going through my body and close my eye.

  A clunk happens in the water in front of me and I feel a warm, wet cloth going from my neck down to my collar bone. He’s washing me off, allowing me to enjoy this moment. I sit with my eye closed, breathing in and out deeply as Bull continues to move the washcloth over my body. After he gets some of the dirt off he takes the bar of soap against my skin and rubs with his hand.

  Neither of us say a word while he does this for me, and I won’t. I’m reveling in the feeling of grime being removed off my skin. It might sound stupid, but it almost feels as if I can breathe better, like the weight of the world is being taken from my shoulders.

  Bull covers every inch of my body except two certain areas. He slowly goes under my breasts, inching up slowly but stops. I feel the pressure of his hand growing more intense so I open my eye, catching his on my own. “Do you want me to keep going?” He asks.

  “If I didn’t I would’ve told you to stop.” I say, keeping my tone light and refreshing. Again, for some reason I feel this intense need to trust him. If he wanted to harm me, he would’ve already. It’s plain and simple.

  Bull dips the washcloth in the hot water again, bringing it up over my right breast and rubs gently. I keep my eye trained on his and notice how he stares at my chest, treating me like a damn queen. He goes to the other and repeats the same process, then brings the soap with his alternate hand.

  The sensation of the soap going over my breasts causes my nipples to perk up, enjoying the delicate touch a bit too much. Bull clears his throat, speaking in a husky tone. “I know for a fact you’re not cold, which only means one thing.”

  Everything he’s told me about how certain men don’t know how to treat a woman’s body comes running to the forefront of my mind. Is it wrong of me to be sexually attracted to this handsome stranger? Or am I only turned on because of the torment and hell I went through? Am I craving some sort of release because of the stressful situations I’ve been through recently? To each question I have the same answer— I don’t know.

  Maybe I’m wrong for doing this, but I don’t care. I take his hand and bring it lower. Slowly he skims it down the front of my stomach over my belly button until he’s right above my pussy. Bull inches his fingers down lower until I feel his strong fingers diving between my lips as the palm of his hand brushes against my clit.

  Closing my eye again I feel heavy, heated breaths hitting my lips and open my eye, seeing Bull staring down at me. “I’m not the type of man who’s gentle, darlin’. I take what I want, when I fuckin’ want it and you’re tempting the damn beast right now.”

  “I don’t need gentle, Bull. I’m not some virgin schoolgirl. I’m a woman and I’ve experienced it all. I’m just wondering about that third date rule you have.”

  I feel as though Bull’s icy blue eyes stare deep into my soul as he speaks, “Fuck the third date rule. Fuck it.” He lifts me up from the water, grabs the towel sitting on the floor and carelessly throws it onto the back of the toilet bowl.

  Bull turns me around, presses my breasts into the wall and sticks three fingers inside of me within one fell swoop. “Just as I thought. You’re wet enough. I’m gonna be blunt with you, darlin’. I’m gonna fuck you like you’re mine and I don’t slow down. You’ve seen my cock, so if you wanna back out now’s your one chance.”

  I huff out a breath, aggravated beyond belief. “Shut the fuck up and slam your cock inside me. You said you knew how to use it, so use it.”

  Bull removes his fingers from my pussy and I feel the pressure of his huge, mushroomed head against my entrance. He isn’t gentle as he forces his way inside me, but I don’t want him to be. Snaking his other hand around to the front his finger flutters over my clit relentlessly.

  I have no choice but to position my hands in front of me because Bull is fucking me so roughly that I’m almost slamming into the wall every time he moves. He continues to roll his fingers and thumb over my clit, shooting warmth through my core. I see what he’s doing, playing my body like a damned violin. He wasn’t lying when he said he knew what to do earlier. I’m obviously firsthand learning of his sexual escapades and I’m not complaining.

  My pussy tightens up as the warmth shoots through me and I know what’s coming. Only, I’m the one person who’s ever been able to make me come. Bull is the first man who’s brought me to this point. Thrashing my hips I moan out, not caring if Blackjack is asleep in the other room. Liquid gushes out of my pussy and Bull continues to fuck me, grunting heavily as he does. “You’re making it too fucking hard to keep my load under control, darlin’.” He hisses out, pulling his cock from my pussy.

  All of a sudden I feel his hands go to my ass and pull my cheeks apart. No, he can’t be. Before I can even ask what’s going on I feel him shove his cock into my ass. Only, it feels like he’s shoving a baseball bat up there. I want to scream, but bite my lip instead, groaning silently. Never have I had a man fuck me anally, but there’s a first time for everything, right?

  Bull puts the three fingers he had in my pussy earlier back inside me, thrusting his cock in harder than he was fucking me before. I never thought this was possible, but I feel the warmth rising again and before I can even prepare for it I’m gushing my essence all over his hand.

  He chuckles sadistically in my ear, grunting as he speaks. “Fuck. Yes. Take my seed, Alexa. Take it into that sweet ass of yours.”

  16

  Choke on the aches of the dreams they burned

  ~unknown

  Bull

  We left Wyoming an hour ago and it wasn’t an easy decision. Alexa kept telling us she didn’t need to stay there another day. Honestly, she was bitchin’ about staying there. I can’t say I blame her though, not with everything that happened to her. I’d sure as fuck want to get outta there too if the shoe was on the other foot.

  Now we’re at some crappy gas station off I-90. Alexa’s been in the bathroom while Blackjack and I are standing ten feet or so away from the door. She’s doing a little better on her legs now, however she’s still weak. I’m betting it’ll take time for her to be able to build up strength in her muscles again.

  “So, you gonna tell me what all that noise was this morning?” Blackjack asks, chuckling through his last few words.

  I scoff, “Seems like I don’t have to tell you a damn thing. You already seem to know.”

  “Blows my mind you screwed her.” He comments, shaking his head.

  “Why does it? The woman’s wearing my cut. She has my protection and we all know what her wearing my rags really means, brother.” I shouldn’t have to gently remind Blackjack what I did. Both he, Zane and Fist saw it. Hell, Fist was basically preachin’ to me.

  “Does she know yet?” Blackjack asks, cocking a brow. He’s trying to be a damn smartass right now.

  “No. Not yet, but she will.” I assure him, crossing my arms in front of my chest.

  Blackjack chuckles beside me, bringing the cigarette to his lips. It seems he’s picked back up on his nasty old habit. With all the stress we’ve been under lately I can’t say I blame him. “I’ve seen a lot of brothers get their ol’ ladies in interesting ways, but you earned the cake on this one, Bull.”

  “I saw a woman who needed to be covered up. She was helpless, and we should thank God she wasn’t in an even worse condition. From the first moment I saw her I knew I needed to protect her. As stupid as it might sound, it’s how I felt and how I still feel. She needs a man like me in her life. If I didn’t know it then I sure do know it now.” I state, hoping my friend will understand me a bit more now.

  “It doesn’t sound stupid. Hell, I knew years ago I wanted Ashley. Just couldn’t have her at the time I wanted her.”

  “What do you mean by that?” I ask Blackjack. As far as I know those two were only a thing after Ashley came back to the club.

  He shrugs his shoulder, “When Ashley was seventeen I felt her and I had this undeniable pull. She was too damn tempting and I made sure to do whatever I could to steer clear of her. She wasn’t eighteen and it wasn’t right. I had told myself I’d wait until she was eighteen but by that point she was runnin’ around with Harry. Before I knew it things had progressed and I couldn’t interfere. Lookin’ back now I should’ve. If I regret anything in my life it’s that I didn’t fight for her back then. I could’ve saved her a lot of grief.”

  “Don’t drudge up the past. You two are together now and that’s the only thing that matters. If you ask me, we all go through shit for a reason.”

  “Yeah, I agree . . . but I don’t see the reason in her experiences.” Blackjack states.

  “There’s always one. Whether it teaches us to be stronger people, shows us that people aren’t worth trusting or people grow apart there’s always a lesson through every life experience. Maybe Ashley’s lesson was that she needed to rely more on her family.”

  “Maybe,” Blackjack mutters, turning the conversation back to me. “I have this feelin’ Alexa isn’t going to like knowing what putting your cut over her meant. You’d best fill her in before we get back to the clubhouse. Shit, even more than that. You should figure out where the hell she’s gonna sleep. There aren’t any more beds at Fist’s, Roxy’s or my place.” Fuck. I didn’t even think of that.

  “Good point. I’m sure I can rent an apartment in town or something until the club is re-built.” I mutter.

  “The club isn’t gonna be up for a few more months. Not with all the snow headed our way. We’ll be lucky if they break ground in March and that’s if the ground isn’t frozen anymore.”

  “I’m well aware,” I say, looking over to the bathroom door. I contemplate going inside and talking to her but decide against it for the moment.

  “You should take the opportunity to tell her now,” Blackjack urges me. “‘Cause Lord help us both if you try to tell her while I’m drivin’. None of us need to be getting in any sort of accident because you couldn’t use your brain.”

  Fuck it. I uncross my arms and head towards the bathroom door, rapping my knuckles against it. “Alexa, it’s me. Can I come in?”

  “Sure.” It takes me a moment to understand what she’s said through the thick door, but I go inside the bathroom and see her standing in front of the sink. She has a paper towel pressed against her head. “You alright?”

  She nods once, “Yeah, I’m just a bit nauseous is all. Car rides make me motion sick.”

  “Looks like we have that in common. You need me to get you some motion sickness meds?” We are at a gas station after all. If any place has it, it’ll be here.

  “Nah, I’ll be fine. Just give me a couple minutes.” she replies, rubbing the paper towel over her face.

  “Sure. Take your time. While we’re in here there’s something I should tell you.” I start off, taking a few steps closer to her until my chest is pressing up against her back.

  She removes the paper towel from her face and tosses it in the trash can next to us. Looking at me in the mirror, “What’s that?”

  I place my hands on my cut, hooking my fingers under her sleeves. “Do you know what this is?”

  She looks at her reflection, furrowing her brows. “I think it’s some sort of identifying factor for your club.”

  I nod, “In a way it is. But it’s not just about our territory, or membership. These cuts demand respect and in a way represent the respect we as men have toward our club. We wear them with pride.”

  “Okay, so like the same way a soldier wears their uniform with honor?” She asks.

  “Yes, exactly. My cut is to always stay on my shoulders, and the only other individual who can ever wear my cut is . . .”

  Alexa taps her fingers on the porcelain sink as she waits for my answer, but no matter how much I want to finish my sentence, I can’t.

  “Is this some sort of riddle? Am I supposed to guess or something?”

  I shake my head from side to side. There’s only one way I’m going to be able to say the words, and that’s by spitting it out., “No. Sorry. The only other person who can wear my cut is my ol’ lady.”

  “Your what?”

  “My woman.”

  “I’m not following.” She says.

  “Ol’ ladies are the girlfriends or wives of club members in the MC.”

  “But . . . I’m wearing your cut.”

  I nod, “Yes, you are.”

  “I’m not your girlfriend though.”

  Ah, here’s the tough part. “In the eyes of my club, you’re my ol’ lady which means you’re my property and responsibility.”

  “Wait. What?!” She yells out, finally putting it together.

  “It’s my job to protect you, Alexa. I knew what I was doing by placing my cut over your shoulders and allowing you to wear it. I don’t regret doing it. I saw you and knew you needed protection in that instant.”

  “This is insane. No, it’s crazier than insane. This is fucking bonkers! What the hell, Bull?!” She turns around and shoves my shoulders, slamming her hands down onto my chest. I let her hit me, knowing I caught her off guard by all this information. “I’m not some damsel in distress who needs a knight in leather and combat boots to save my ass. I’m also not a chicken, or donkey, or something that is owned by another person. I’m a human the same as you. You’re basically a stranger to me. I’m not your girlfriend or old lady or whatever. I’m Alexa. I’m single.”

  “Ol’ lady,” I correct her, looking down at her remaining chestnut brown eye. “Alexa,” I say her name, running my fingers down the side of her cheek and tuck a stray hair behind her ear. “I’m not the type of man who gives up easily and I think I made that pretty clear. I’m as alpha as they come and I always get what I want because there aren’t any other options. I wanted to put my cut over your shoulders. I knew that would mean you were my girl, my ol’ lady, hell even my fuckin’ problem. I wanted to take that washcloth and wipe away every spec of dirt from your skin. I wanted to run my fingers over your breasts and touch that wet pussy of yours. Fuck, if we’re talking about everything I wanted I’ll keep going. I wanted to shove my cock in your tight cunt and that perky ass of yours too and guess what? I did. So, here I am proving my fucking point. I get whatever I want and I always will. What I’ll make crystal clear right fuckin’ now is that I’m not a jackass. I wanted you and I’ll have you.”

  Alexa whips her hand back and before I realize what’s happening heat covers my cheek. “You are such an asshole. Here I thought you couldn’t imagine living your life with someone else. That’s what you said, and you’re standing here telling me I’m your woman. What in the actual fuck, Bull?”

  Wow. Never expected her to slap me with her palm and my words at the same time. Something about the way she’s speaking to me strikes a chord within me and I’m not talkin’ about the good kind.

  “There’s a lot of shit I’ll take from someone, Alexa, but don’t ever think for a second you can throw the love I had for Arizona in my face.” I turn around and walk away from her, stopping at the door. “I’ll go inside and get you some anti-nausea pills and a ginger ale. Blackjack can help you back to the truck.” I open the door and slam it shut behind me, passing Blackjack.

  “What the hell happened?” He asks.

  “Don’t. You can help her into the truck, though.”

  17

  Rock bottom became the solid foundation which rebuilt my life

  ~J.K. Rowling

  Alexa/Lola

  I’m still trying to wrap my head around what happened in the bathroom of the dingy gas station. Bull came out and told me I’m essentially his property, making me feel like we’re back in the old times where men would trade goats for their wife’s dowry. Yet he’s the one who stormed out of there acting like I was the asshole. Maybe I was for throwing his words back at him, especially when he told me his ex died . . . but I was pissed. Not to mention totally caught off guard.