Chapter Eight

  Senior Year: Christmas

  Snowflakes tickle my nose. I pull my scarf higher to shield my face from the snow flurries swirling around us.

  Trust Liam to leave buying his gifts till Christmas Eve.

  Holiday songs play from an old speaker on one of the market stalls, and I’m craving a hot cocoa from the café across the street.

  “Just my mom left. What do you think she’d prefer? A silk scarf, or a figurine of a chubby boy and a dog?”

  I roll my eyes at his lack of effort and pull my hand out of my pocket. Taking the figurine from him, I set it back on the table.

  “Your mom is thirty-nine, and she doesn’t have a single figurine in her house. Plus I’ve never seen her wear a scarf, silk or otherwise.”

  “Babe, I’m running out of time here. I’ve got to get her something.”

  “I hope you put more effort into my gift.”

  I laugh as he pulls me against him.

  “My gift is going to blow you away.”

  “Is that so?”

  “Oh yeah,” he drawls.

  My excitement for Christmas this year is unmistakable.

  Leaning around him, I pick up the mint green jewelry box with pink blossoms hand-painted along the top.

  “Your mom’s been hinting at how she needs a new jewelry box for the last five weeks. Buy her this. She’ll love it.”

  With a quick kiss to my lips, he takes the box and hands over the cash.

  “Do you want a hot cocoa for the ride back to your place?”

  “It’s like you can read my mind.”

  “Nah. You haven’t stopped looking over at the café since we arrived.”

  Liam is useless at wrapping, so he’s on tape duty, and I’m wrapping his gifts to his family.

  “I wish I were waking up with you tomorrow. It’s going to be strange not seeing you.”

  Tearing off a piece of tape, he passes it over and says, “I’m not going anywhere. No doubt your mom finds the holidays hard without your dad and she’ll drink even more, so I’m gonna stay tonight. Tomorrow, we’ll go for dinner at my house.”

  “Won’t your parents mind you staying out and me coming for dinner?” This will be the first night he’s ever stayed over.

  “Babe, my mom loves you more than me, I’m starting to believe. It’s all good.”

  The days with him only get better and better.

  With Mom passed out on the couch, we creep upstairs and lock ourselves in my room. Changing into my shorts and top, I watch Liam effortlessly slip out of his jeans and whip his hoodie off, dumping them on my floor before making himself comfortable in the bed.

  My bed.

  I climb in beside him, putting my back to his chest as he tucks the sheets around us. He’s always so warm to touch.

  “Seeing as it’s after midnight, it’s officially Christmas,” he whispers into my hair.

  The first Christmas I’m excited for since my dad passed away, and it’s beginning perfectly.

  “I want to give you your present now.”

  Giggling, I roll my eyes. “You’re just a big kid, aren’t you?”

  Reaching for my hand, he lifts it into the air above us and slides something cold onto my fourth finger. I don’t need the light on to see what he’s doing.

  Pulling his hand back, mine stays in place above us. It’s a ring. A small, single set diamond is all I can focus on until he says, “My life since I’ve gotten to know you has changed me in so many ways. I can’t even begin to figure out how I could move forward without you. You’re not just my life now, Gabriella, you’re my future, and I’ll be fucked if I let you go. I want you to marry me and never leave me.”

  The desperation in his voice should scare me, but the little voice in my head, trying to find reasons as to why this is a bad, bad, bad idea, fades to a whisper.

  “Liam, you don’t even know what you’re doing after we graduate. How can you know you want to marry me?”

  “I know what I’ll be doing, and that’s going to whatever college you go to.”

  Jerking away from him as much as I can on the bed, I stare at him, waiting for him to say he’s joking, but he doesn’t.

  “You will?”

  A cross between a gasp and a sob bursts from my lips, and I sit up, trying to get myself under control.

  “I don’t want to live without you. I know it seems crazy, and we’re still so young, but fuck what people think. We know how we feel about each other. Marry me.”

  I’d be lying if I said I haven’t worried about what was going to happen to us after high school. But if we’re married and attending the same college, I’ll get to keep him as much as he wants to keep me.

  “Yes,” I squeal. But there are still things to consider. “What about our parents?”

  “We’ll wait till after we graduate. We’ll both be eighteen, so they can’t say or do anything to stop us. And besides, do you think your mom will even notice or care?”

  I ignore the dig because, well, he’s not wrong.

  I lean over and press my lips to his, giddy at the thought of kissing them for the rest of my life.

  “So we’ll keep our engagement a secret?”

  “I mean, for me, I’d shout it from the school rooftop. But if we don’t want people voicing their opinions, it’s probably best we do. That includes friends.”

  “I agree.”

  There’s nothing that could rip me away from Liam… not that I have anyone who would want to. I fall asleep in his arms, knowing this is how every night will end for the rest of my life.

  Chapter Nine

  Senior Year

  Liam’s ring rests against my chest, hanging on the chain I clasped around my neck the morning after he proposed. I still can’t believe it—he proposed. I love knowing it’s there as much as I love him.

  He’s making the ultimate commitment to me, and the thought makes it impossible to wipe the smile off my face.

  I walk through the school halls on my way to lunch, pushing through other students all going the same way, only a lot more annoyingly slow.

  I spot Liam first when I step into the cafeteria, and he points at the lunch tray he picked up for me. He’s been doing this since we returned to school after the Christmas holiday.

  Slipping into the chair beside him, I lean in and kiss him without losing my smile.

  The plan we’ve come up with is for us to graduate, get married, and over the summer, find an apartment to rent near the college we get accepted in to. I already planned on working while studying, and Liam is going to do the same. We should be okay if we don’t spend like crazy on frivolous things.

  “How about we go back to my house and skip this afternoon? My dad’s at work, and my mom’s out shopping for the day.”

  “As much as I’d love to, I can’t. I have a math test this afternoon I can’t miss.”

  Skimming his lips across my neck, tingles spread over my skin. I know what he’s doing, or trying to do.

  “Stop doing that,” I whisper.

  “Doing what?”

  “Tempting me.”

  I don’t look his way, knowing that if I do, I’ll succumb to his dirty smirk and skip the rest of the afternoon to be alone with him.

  It’s been a long week, and I’m fed up with the snow. I can’t wait for the warmer days, and not having to feel like my fingers and toes are falling off. But lounging across Liam on Ethan’s couch while he strokes my hair makes me forget how much homework I’ve got to do over the weekend.

  There isn’t a party this weekend, but Callum and Alice, Liam and I, and Bella, are crashing over, and the beer is flowing.

  Some movie plays on the widescreen, but no one’s watching. Ethan is too busy teasing Bella about her new nose, and Callum and Alice are sneaking up the stairs. Finishing my beer, I heave myself up and set the empty on the coffee table.

  “You’re an asshole, Ethan… you know that, don’t you?” Bella scowls.

  “Know it, own it, and love it,” he boasts.

  Her eyes pierce into slits as she watches him prowl toward her.

  “You think I’m going to sleep with you now after you’ve spent all night joking about my nose?”

  “If my mouth is busy doing something else, it won’t have time to point out that the doctor forgot to shave down the bump.”

  Liam snorts from behind me, his finger latching onto the back of my shorts, tugging me back to him.

  “Asshole!” she shouts. “We all have bumps. In fact, why don’t I tell Liam and Gabriella all about how your dick—”

  Reaching her, he lifts her from the couch with ease and throws her over his shoulder.

  “Watch the nose!” she shrieks.

  Apparently, her nose job was a Christmas present from Daddy. I couldn’t imagine being a parent and paying for cosmetic surgery for my under eighteen-year-old daughter. Then again, I’m not in that situation, and there could be a genuine reason she did it and doesn’t wish to share.

  Ethan heads for the stairs too, and I tense. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to guess what they’re all doing up there. Suddenly, I’m all kinds of awkward.

  Standing, I lean over the table and gather as many empties as I can and take them into the kitchen. Dumping them into the trash, I turn to find Liam right behind me.

  “What’s wrong?”

  “Nothing’s wrong. Why would something be wrong? I’m fine.”

  The corner of his mouth tips up, and his brow raises in that annoying way that makes me forget my own name.

  “You’re cleaning up in someone else’s house.”

  This is stupid. I’m marrying the guy. If I can’t talk to him about anything and everything, I shouldn’t be agreeing to be his wife.

  So, here it goes.

  “I want you to know I want to have sex with you so bad sometimes, I feel like it’s going to kill me.”

  His smirk turns into a full-blown smile. Moving closer, he lifts me onto the counter and traps me between his arms. Briefly pressing his lips to my forehead, he leans back and says, “I already know where you stand, babe. Why are you panicking about it now?”

  “I just need you to know that I do want you in that way. I don’t know… I mean, we both know what’s going on upstairs right now, and I worry sometimes that you’ll get bored with me.”

  I can’t bear to witness his reaction, so I look down at my hands resting on my lap. However, Liam doesn’t let me hide. Tipping my chin up, he keeps it there so I’m forced to look him in the eye.

  “You think I’d ask you to marry me one day and then leave you another? Be serious. I know you want to wait, and when I say I’m cool with that, I’m cool. You don’t need to worry.”

  Smiling, I take hold of his finger and entwine with mine.

  “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to freak out.”

  “It’s not like we don’t do anything…”

  Sliding my skirt up my thighs, he leans down and hooks his finger under my lace panties and yanks them to the side. Smiling up at me, he skims his tongue over my clit once, twice, before thrusting it inside of me. I’m not sure what’s turning me on more, his tongue working its magic, or he himself giving in to his most carnal desires?

  Gripping onto the edge of the counter, my fingertips dig against the hard marble as he continues to lap at my core.

  He’s relentless.

  Releasing the counter, I grip his hair. Lost in every flick of his tongue assaulting my clit, I could care less if someone walked in right now. Digging my teeth into my bottom lip to trap the cry wanting to escape, I hit the back of my head against the cupboard, on the verge of orgasm when he sucks harder. Tightening my hand in his hair, a cry rips through me as my body jerks and shudders. He continues to tease me until my body calms, and once he knows I’m good, he stands up and reaches for a napkin from the counter and wipes his mouth before tossing it into the empty pizza box on the island.

  Resting his hands on my hips, he pulls me close so I can wrap my legs around his waist.

  “As long as you’re happy, that’s all I care about,” he assures.

  “I feel the same about you.”

  “I’ll be a lot happier once you’ve repaid the favour.” He sets me on my feet and wraps his arms around me. “Whatever they’re doing upstairs doesn’t reflect on us. We’re good as we are. Come on, let’s go to bed.”

  Taking my hand, I let him lead me up to the guest bedroom, and blush in the darkness at the giggles coming from behind Ethan’s door as we pass.

  I’m not afraid to have sex. It’s not something I fear, and I understand now it’s not always so serious.

  Letting go of my hand, Liam undoes his jeans and lets them pool around his ankles before sitting on the edge of the bed. Standing before him, he lifts my sweater up, and I help him out by raising it up and over my head. Dropping it to the floor, he tugs at the zipper on my skirt, and it soon joins my sweater.

  “I can’t get enough of you, Gabriella,” he chokes out, and it empowers me to lower myself between his knees.

  Tugging at the hem of his boxers, he lifts his ass so I can pull them off.

  He’s already hard when I run my hands up his thighs. I trace my finger slowly up his length before fisting my hand around him and flicking my tongue over the tip.

  As he sucks in a breath, I take him into my mouth. I was thirteen when I overheard my brothers talking about how Kristy Boland gave my brother Connor a blowjob. Not understanding fully what they were talking about, I found myself googling it once I was alone in my room. I clicked on the first link that popped up, then rushed to turn the sound down on my phone. I was horrified. The way the woman was sucking the whole thing and gagging as the guy held her in place, her eyes watering, mascara streaming down her cheeks, had me vowing to never give one... ever.

  It wasn’t until last year in Health class that Mrs. Chapman was discussing how adult content was a misguided perception when compared to reality. That night, I searched up blowjobs again, and briefly watched a few different videos to find that they weren’t all hardcore. My mind hadn’t changed, but I wanted to pleasure Liam as he does me, and discovered that however I touch him, he loves it.

  My eyes don’t water, but I do gag when he’s close to finishing and bucks his hips, forcing himself deeper into the back of my throat. I never understood the concept of being aroused by pleasuring someone else, but when Liam makes gruff noises and mutters crude remarks, it spurs me on, and has me internally debating on whether to lose my virginity tonight, or go full hardcore porn woman and deep throat, gag—the works.

  However, once my jaw starts to ache, I can’t help but hope he finishes in the next few moments.

  “Are you going to let me come in your mouth tonight?”

  Releasing him, I wiggle my jaw and say, “Yes.”

  I have no idea why I said that. The first time I sucked him off, he came in my mouth, and I nearly threw up. Women in porn make that shit look easy. It was thick and slimy, and tasted horrible. Since then, when he’s ready to finish, he lets me know, and it ends up anywhere but my mouth.

  “Oh, fuck,” he groans as I take him back into my mouth. Sucking harder, careful not to scrape my teeth along his shaft, I work him with my hand as well.

  With three more pumps and lapping my tongue over the tip, his thighs tense.

  “I’m gonna come.”

  When his body starts to still, I lift my head, letting it spurt out and land across his lower stomach.

  “You said…” He doesn’t finish as he jerks with the last of his release.

  “Yeah, sorry about that. My jaw was aching, and I knew it’d turn you on more if you thought I was going to swallow.”

  Laughing, he falls back on the bed, not caring that he’s still covered in his own come, and takes a deep breath.

  “You know, you could’ve just said you changed your mind.”

  “Well, you’re the one who says you know me, so you should’ve known I wouldn’t do it.”

  Rising to my feet, I toss him his T-shirt and he wipes himself clean. Bundling it up, he shoves it in the side pocket of his overnight bag. Collecting my toothbrush and face wash, I tiptoe into the bathroom across the hall and get washed up for bed. When I return, I climb in under the sheets while Liam makes a quick trip to the bathroom himself.

  “Do you feel better now?” he asks as he settles in behind me, pulling me against him.

  I move my jaw around, noticing the ache is gone. “Much better.”

  “I meant your little freak out downstairs,” he chuckles.

  “Oh, yeah. I’m good with that too. I just wanted you to know I can’t wait to take the next step with you.”

  “It’s probably a good thing we’re waiting. It’ll give me more time to work your jaw in.”

  Laughing, I guide my hand back and slap his arm. “Shut up.”

  He nuzzles into my neck, planting a big kiss on me before saying, “Go to sleep, babe.”

  And I do. I slip easily into slumber, sated, and in my love’s arms.

  Chapter Ten

  “We sound like a good couple.”

  “We were perfect.” Or so I believed. “But you know what they say about perfection.”

  He shakes his head. “I don’t remember.”

  Of course he doesn’t.

  “It’s an illusion. It’s not real.”

  Though his lack of memories must be hard for him to deal with, they’re a serious pain in the ass for me.

  When the clock strikes five, I push away from the table and get out the ingredients I need to make chicken pasta.

  “When did it start to go bad between us?” he asks as I get to work on chopping the onion.

  I freeze. I thought I could do this, but I can’t. I need to focus on myself.

  “I’ve had enough of crawling down memory lane for today. You need to go.”