Thinking about it, they sure were up to date with my sexual partners. Apart from Callum and Alice being together, I couldn’t tell you who Ethan and Bella have been fucking, seeing as they haven’t been the talk of the town for six years.

  Liam’s brows pinch together, clearly confused.

  “Why did you bring them into the bar tonight?”

  “I hoped being around them and you would trigger something. It didn’t.”

  I finish my beer and toss the bottle up into the dumpster. It’s always about him. He didn’t once consider how I would feel. I guess the old him is still in there somewhere.

  Changing tactics, I ask, “What if you never get your memories back?”

  He shrugs. “I suppose I’m fucked.”

  That, he will be, but it’s not my problem. Taking one last pull on my cigarette, I drop the butt to the ground and grind it under my boot. Exhaling the smoke, I stand and say, “Well, I’ve got to get back in there.”

  I go to walk around him and he grabs my arm, stopping me in my tracks and pulling me closer to him.

  Lifting my brow, I stare pointedly at him. “Do you mind taking your damn hand off of me?”

  “Go out with me tomorrow.”

  “Say that again?”

  Surely I didn’t hear him right.

  “Let me take you out tomorrow night.”

  Failing to yank my arm back, he tightens his hold, never breaking eye contact with me.

  “What are you doing, Liam?”

  “I want you to have better memories of me before I leave.”

  My first instinct is to refuse his offer—if that’s what that was—and take my arm back. But something stops me.

  It isn’t the pleading in his gaze, or the way I used to like his hair hanging down the side of his face like it’s doing tonight. It’s not even that he smells so nice.

  Thinking over what it is I’m trying to figure out, I stall, and say to fill the silence, “If you’re messing with me—”

  “I’m not!” he cuts in quickly.

  Then it all clicks into place. What if I mess with him? What if this is my chance to get even?

  “Please, let me try to make amends with you.”

  I stare at him for a moment. “I’ll see if I can get someone to cover my shift.”

  He releases my arm, and I don’t hesitate to walk back inside. He follows close behind and asks Rory for a pen. He grabs a beer mat from the bar and proceeds to write down his number after Rory tosses him the pen from behind his ear.

  “Let me know about tomorrow night.”

  He slides the mat toward me.

  “I will.”

  He walks toward to the door, and I go to blow out a deep breath when he stops.

  “You agreeing to this means I don’t want you seeing anyone else.”

  Cain.

  I hear him loud and clear.

  And until I figure out my next move, I nod, agreeing.

  For now, I’ll let him think he’s calling the shots.

  Grabbing my phone, I shoot off a text to Cain to cancel and shove it in my back pocket, along with Liam’s number.

  Not giving Liam the divorce he so desperately wanted was the best I could come up with to get back at him. But I think I can do better this time around. This is going to be sweet.

  Chapter Fifteen

  Liam

  Gabriella managed to find cover for her shift. I was hoping she’d call so I could hear her voice, but all I got was a text.

  Sitting forward on the couch, I sweep my hand over the photographs laid out on the coffee table and pick up the photo of Gabriella and me dressed up for Halloween. She wasn’t the only one with photos boxed away. Alice dropped off a box of photos she thought might help me remember who I was back then the other day. Not one fucking memory has returned, and it’s driving me crazy.

  I can’t imagine marrying Gabriella for a bet. A bet that I apparently came up with, and was determined to win so I had the cash I needed to get me out of town and hit the music scene. Scooping up a photo of Gabriella and me that was taken at a party, I stare at her light hair, falling down around her face, and the smile she wears. I can see why I would want to fuck her. She’s hot as Hades when the Devil is in a bad mood. In the photo, I’m grinning, but the way I’m staring at her doesn’t scream ulterior motives to me. I look like I’m in love with her. Was I such a good actor back then? I must’ve been.

  She doesn’t look much different now appearance-wise. Only she doesn’t smile. Not for me, anyway, and not that she has any reason to. And she has a tattoo of some kind of bird on her inner wrist that isn’t in any of the photos.

  In all the photographs, she’s soft, and looks kind and innocent, like someone I would want to protect. Today, she’s hard, and the walls she’s built up around herself couldn’t be knocked down with an apology from me. She’s built it to protect herself from the likes of me.

  The doorbell rings, making me jump. My new place is down the road from Gabriella—not that I’ll ever tell her. Opening the door, Bella stands on the doorstep, grinning.

  “Hey. I’ve brought you those memory cards you asked for.”

  Callum told me Bella used to be one of my good friends at school, but that I haven’t really seen her since I left town. The only friends I kept in touch with were Callum and Ethan, and they have photos to prove it. They often came out and joined me on tour, or when we all went on vacations.

  Bella makes me cringe. She’s too… perky, and her eyes glisten with mischief. To be honest, I feel like she lies to me a lot.

  Rooting around her in large purse, she holds out four small chips. Removing them from her palm, I mutter, “Thanks.”

  My heart rate picks up, knowing I’m going to see a lot more than photo stills. I’m going to see and hear Gabriella before I hurt her.

  “I was thinking… since you spend most of your time shacked up here now, how about we go out sometime?”

  “Sorry. I’m busy.” I shut that shit down fast. I don’t even have the energy to make up an excuse.

  “Ethan said we recorded what I did to Gabriella. What chip is that on?”

  She moves closer and leans in as she points to the chip closest to my thumb.

  “Thanks.”

  Moving around her, I snatch up the laptop from the table and settle on the couch, forgetting she’s still here until she speaks.

  “You know… well, you don’t know. You know what I mean?” she drones on. “We had a lot of good times together. I don’t see a reason why we can’t add to them.”

  There are many, many reasons why we can’t. And even if I wasn’t trying to heal my wife’s heart, I couldn’t see myself ever finding Bella fuckable.

  What she said sinks in, and I frown. Good times, as in we had a laugh? Or good times, as in we’ve had sex?

  She smiles at my confusion, but it looks so fucking wrong, it sets me on edge.

  “I was the one you came to after you dropped Gabriella off at home. Just because she wouldn’t have sex with you, didn’t mean you went without.”

  “I cheated on her too?” I whisper.

  “It was hardly cheating, Liam. Your relationship with her was a lie. As if you were going to spend senior year being celibate.”

  Her snort irritates me.

  “You’re lying.”

  “What reason do I have to lie? Besides, you’ll see for yourself when you get to certain points on the videos.”

  “We recorded ourselves and you kept them?”

  Rolling her eyes, she laughs. “We knew how to have fun, and we did have fun, Liam.”

  This gets worse every single day. The more I hear, the more I disgust myself.

  “You can see yourself out.”

  “Your loss.” She adjusts her purse strap on her shoulder. “I want those cards back when you’re done.”

  “Yeah, sure,” I lie.

  Once I’ve watched them, they’re going down the garbage disposal.

  “You know, just because you can’t remember, doesn’t mean you get to play the angel now. You didn’t totally ruin her life. She hasn’t been an angel either since you left.”

  Gabriella’s life spiralled because of me and these so-called friends of mine. She told me she planned on going to college and getting married one day. I can’t imagine she would be taking guys home she met at a bar if I hadn’t hardened her heart.

  “See you later, Bella.”

  Inserting a card into the slot, I click on the folder titled Liam’s Bet. Nausea rolls through my stomach as I click on the first video.

  The screen starts moving. Whoever is filming focuses on me, my younger self. I don’t look too different. I’m now bigger physically and my voice is deeper, but that’s it.

  “Hey, Harris. Who’s your victim going to be?”

  We’re out front of the high school. I know this because I’ve driven around this town every day since I got home, trying to trigger a memory. With a slow smirk, I jerk to my chin to someone off screen.

  “Gabriella Preston.”

  “The only virgin left in our grade? You’ve got no chance,” Bella snorts, coming to stand beside me. I slip my arm around her waist, and she giggles into my chest.

  “She’s right. You’ve got no chance. She’s waiting for marriage or some shit,” Ethan huffs, seeming bored.

  “Then I’ll marry her, fuck her, and dump her.”

  This gets his attention, and he quickly perks up.

  My old self is arrogant as fuck, and I internally cringe. Callum comes into view and swings his arm around my shoulders, narrowly missing Bella’s head. Not that I think he would’ve cared.

  “What are the stakes? Personally, I’m betting huge you can’t tap that hymen wall.”

  Alice scowls. “Ew, Cal. You’re so disgusting!”

  I learn the two of them have been a thing since school. When he smirks at her, it’s not out of arrogance. He’s playful with her.

  “I bet five grand you won’t get a ring on her finger or a condom on your dick,” Ethan chuckles from behind the camera.

  Five thousand dollars. So much money to throw around for an eighteen-year-old, but nothing compared to the price I put on Gabriella’s virginity.

  “You have till graduation, bro. If you don’t put a ring on her finger, you get nothing,” Callum says.

  Bella claps her hands excitedly. “Can I please, please, please, be a bridesmaid?” She’s not excited, though. She’s being sarcastic, and I struggle to swallow the lump in my throat.

  “She’ll never marry you,” Alice points out.

  “A little positivity here, Alice.” I hear my younger self laugh, and then I hear the school bell ring. The video ends, and I waste no time clicking on the next. This time, whoever’s holding the phone is filming me and Gabriella kissing at a party.

  “That can’t be her first kiss?” Someone laughs, no doubt Bella.

  “I can’t believe he’s doing this. It isn’t right.” Was that Alice?

  “Oh, come on. It’s just a little fun,” Callum says from behind the camera.

  “Yeah, well, I hope he falls for her, and he’s the one who ends up getting hurt,” the female voice mutters. And then the camera is spinning. Alice is standing with her arms crossed over her chest, glaring at someone. It was her.

  “Babe, like that’s going to happen. She’s well out of his league.”

  “I’m not having anything to do with this.”

  The camera drops, but I can still hear the conversation. “Keep your mouth shut, Alice.”

  “Or what, Cal?”

  “I’ll tell your daddy what we get up to while he’s working the night shift.”

  “Oh, please. You’re so pathetic.”

  “Yeah, but you love me, and you don’t want your daddy knowing your mouth is full of my dick every time he leaves the house.”

  The video ends. I wish I hadn’t heard their conversation, which was clearly meant to be kept between themselves.

  The next video is of the Halloween party I have photos of. This is the night I asked her to be my girlfriend.

  “Bet girl is looking hot, Harris,” Ethan says into the camera, his face painted as Frankenstein.

  “Stop calling her that. Someone might hear,” I hear myself snap. When I next speak, I don’t sound like I’m defending her at all. “I asked her to be my girlfriend earlier, and she said yes. She’s fallen for me, no doubt about it.”

  Fuck, my arrogance knew no bounds. I wish I could jump into the screen and punch myself.

  “What if she has sex without having to be married?” Alice asks, and the camera spins to her.

  She’s dressed as a sexy nurse, and she looks uncomfortable as fuck.

  “Then I still win.”

  “Like fuck you do. The bet was set. You have to marry her,” Callum argues.

  “You’ll have to come up with some crap about not wanting her to regret anything. Chicks fall for that shit all the time,” Ethan offers.

  “Don’t worry about me, Alice. I’m not going to lose.”

  “It’s not you I’m worried about,” she mutters and leaves the room. Callum runs out after her as I call Gabriella over, and the video ends.

  I really don’t want to watch anymore, but I push myself and click the next video. I’m in a bedroom, and the camera shakes as someone moves it around.

  Once it settles, Bella skips across the room in her panties, her breasts bouncing as she jumps on the bed with a giggle and pushes me back on the mattress.

  Guessing what we’re about to do, I stop the video. I’m not interested in reviving that memory.

  Tossing the laptop to the side, I slide the card out and pocket the rest. Snatching up my car keys, I barely remember to grab my coat on my way out.

  Through the snow, I drive the short distance to Gabriella’s house and bang on her door until she throws it open, having no idea what I’m here to say.

  “I’m cancelling our date tonight.”

  “Why?” she asks, not exactly looking gutted over it.

  “I, uh…”

  “Spit it out, Liam.”

  I really like when she says my name. However, this isn’t the time to lose myself in her.

  “I wanted to make better memories of me for you. I had Bella drop off some old videos of us all, thinking I could learn about you, and about who I was. I wanted to hear you laugh. But I was worse than you or anyone else has told me until today. I can’t even begin to make it up to you. I don’t deserve it.”

  She leans against the doorframe, arching her brow.

  “Wow. That was a lot.”

  “Since the accident, I’ve been going by how I feel around certain people in certain situations, and all I can think about is you. And when you’re not around, I feel lost.”

  Her cheeks balloon with a long sigh, but her brows relax and her frown fades away.

  “You better come in.”

  I learned early on that she doesn’t like me on her doorstep for too long, preferring no one sees me. And as I would rather be inside, I keep my mouth shut.

  “What videos are you talking about?” she asks as I pace her small living room.

  The lights on her Christmas tree flash different colours, and I smile, but it soon disappears when I say, “If I show them to you, you’ll never speak to me again.”

  “They can’t be that bad. Besides, I’ve already guessed you all joked and laughed behind my back. I’ve already lived through it.”

  “It’s more than that,” I say, barely above a whisper.

  The walls she’s built up tumble down, and she looks almost afraid. She crosses her arms over her chest protecting herself.

  “Tell me, Liam.”

  “I had sex behind your back throughout senior year… with Bella.”

  Relief surges through her before my very eyes, and she laughs. I don’t know how to interpret this reaction. I was ready for her anger and disgust.

  “You were nervous to tell me that?”

  “You already knew?”

  “Bella and your other friends filled me in the first chance they got after you stormed out of town. I figured you’d been sleeping with someone before Bella told me.”

  Numbness creeps up my legs, and I fall back on her couch before they go out from under me.

  “The more I learn, the more I hate myself,” I admit to her.

  She surprises me by coming to sit beside me, close enough that I can smell her shampoo, and I inhale without her noticing.

  “Liam,” she says softly, “it’s hard to hold a grudge against you when you’re so different. So much like the Liam you made me fall in love with. I won’t lie and say I haven’t thought this may be another game of yours for whatever reason, because I have. But I’m tired. I’m exhausted. You said you go by what you’re feeling, so what exactly do you feel when you’re around me?”

  “In the hospital, it was the doctor who told me my wife had been by, and when I asked my mom where you were, she told me I wouldn’t see you and why. All I wanted to do was find you. It’s probably wrong of me, but you’ve been the only person I want to be around. I believe what you tell me, but with the others, unless there’s proof, I feel like I can’t trust them. I feel better when I’m around you.”

  “I’m literally a bitch to you,” she snorts.

  “That may be, but you’re real.”

  Staring at one another, the moment stretches into minutes. She’s so beautiful, it’s unreal. Yet she’s sitting right next to me, as real as I am.

  “I want to watch the videos.”

  “No, Gabriella, you don’t. Trust me.”

  She places her hand on my thigh, and I suck in a sharp breath. “I promise I’ll still speak to you after. You don’t have to worry about that.”

  Dammit. Leaning back, I dig the chips out of my pocket and drop the one she needs in her hand, missing her touch instantly.

  “I’ll go and get my laptop. Don’t move,” she instructs.

  I have no plans to leave, so I nod and wait. Callum and Ethan have shown me photographs of my mansion in L.A. Gabriella’s house could fit into my kitchen, yet her place is homey, and it relaxes me.

  She returns from upstairs, and I’m glad when she again sits beside me.

  I watch as she powers on the computer and slots the chip into the port. I close my eyes to the first few videos she watches.