“Hello, stranger.”

  “Hello, my Sun,” he murmurs, his deep voice sending shivers down my spine.

  Sometimes I wonder if I should call him my moon. He is my constant, always there in the dead of the night when my world has collapsed. I lift my chin. “I’m back. No more running in the forest. I’m ready now, and so is my Nexus.” Finnegan nods once, but his eyes are unsure. I’m not ready to speak to him about anything else yet. “Have you heard anything from Alek or Onyx yet?”

  I can feel they are alive in my soul. My Nexus has confirmed it, but they could have been captured by the Vian for all I know. Something tells me they aren’t. “No. But the only reason they wouldn’t have reached out to this place is because they don’t know of it. There are five safe havens in Snowdonia that we could have gone to. This is the only one I am confident that Rhodes and Hollis would not have known about. It belonged to an old aunt of mine. No one’s been here in years. I don’t think Onyx or Alek will know about it either, so that’s a problem. We need a phone that can’t be tracked, but any plan, any avenue I would suggest is compromised by those bastard half-breeds.”

  The world seems to shake with the hate in his voice. It wasn’t just me who was betrayed—it was him too. Rhodes and Hollis were like brothers to him.

  I step up to his knees, pressing mine into them, his warmth seeping through my clothes. Even that simple touch sends heat skipping down my spine. “Then we go to things that I know that Rhodes and Hollis do not know about. The way I kept myself hidden. If they knew of them, they would have found me. We’re going to need weapons and money…and help. I want to get help from someone that I’d rather not meet again, but unfortunately we’re put in this position, so reluctantly we are going. I need you to trust me.”

  He reaches out, running his fingertips up my thighs and cupping my ass to pull me onto his lap. I let him, needing this contact with him too. Even if my heart is shattered, the piece of it that belongs to Finn will always stay firm and true. The same stands for Alek and Onyx. He sinks his hand into my hair. “I trust you with my life, Gwenieve Patience Autumn. I know you must feel like trusting anyone is hard right now, but I will stand true to you until we die. Even beyond death. Even beyond the moment when we exist as nothing but stories in dusty books.”

  I kiss him like I’m trying to fix every inch of us. He grumbles, pulling me harder against him so I can feel him under my ass. I moan as I swirl my hips. Finnegan’s eyes are dark when he grips my chin. “Want to go for a walk in the forest so I can bend you over a rock or tree stump?”

  Like we’ve done a dozen times…but this time, it feels like we are using sex to run from our problems. “Finn…”

  “I know.” He groans softly, moving me back a few inches onto his knees. His next words are like ice being poured over us both. “There’s been more reports from Starlight City if you want to know them.”

  My heart stops just for a second before I take a deep breath and nod. “Yes. I want to know what the death toll is. I want to know everything because it will just make it easier.”

  “Easier for what?” he asks. He grips my chin when I try to look away.

  “To face it. To face the death I caused and what it has done to me. It won’t be easy, but I want to know every detail so that I never forget what I am fighting against. What they did.” I cover his hand with mine. “I’m so angry, Finn. Aren’t you? Rhodes and Hollis have been pretending since you were teenagers. How old were you when you met?”

  “We met at the mating ceremony when you were fifteen, and I wasn’t much older. It was the first year I began my assassin work, and I was looking for a reason to exist. I did think they looked older, but some people do, I guess. We were all bonded over how much we wanted to find you; how angry we were over you. I spent countless hours with them and never suspected a thing. They’re hundreds of years old.” He shakes his head, hurt flashing in his eyes.

  It kills me to see him hurt. “It’s about time those hundreds of years ended, because my Nexus and I are in a rare agreement. We are hunting the king, and then I’m hunting them. They don’t get to survive betraying me like this. The twins handed me over to the Vian king, knowing that he was going to use me to slaughter thousands and kill me. They were going to let me die. Georgina carried on holding on to me, and I would have destroyed the entire world—every city, every human life, every Nexus. All that would have been left would have been people with Vian blood, and that’s it. The war would have been over. I would have been dead, and they just let that happen. They just stood there. I’m their mate, and they did that to me. I know I hurt them first at the mating ceremony, but I was a scared fifteen-year-old girl. They have had hundreds of years of life and still made this mistake. If it weren’t for Severi… I was wrong about him.”

  Finn frowns, and I don’t blame him. We have spoken only once about how Severi saved my life and his, so I continue, “Severi’s on our side. He didn’t just save me; he explained everything. It was his father using his body to torture me. It was never him. The times that he was cruel, it wasn’t him at all. I thought he had a really strange split personality—but it was his father. I’m sure there’s more to be figured out, but Severi has been warning me about this for a long time. He asked me to come with him. He tried to get me out of the city again and again. He knew. He went against his entire race for me.”

  “Then he’s one of us,” Finn commands. I can tell he’s reluctant—he’s not a huge fan of Severi—but he saved Finn’s life and mine. He is my mate, the mate to my Vian side, apparently. I’m still processing everything my Nexus told me and how I’m half Vian at all. “When do we leave, mate?”

  I lean closer, tucking my head into his neck, and he wraps his arms around me. I can hear his father and sister moving around in the cabin, and Nibbles’s tapping feet as she looks for me. “Tomorrow.” I brush my lips against his neck. “But right now? I’m starving and need a shower.”

  He smiles at me softly, and in one movement, he stands up with me like I weigh nothing. I wrap my legs around his waist, and he carries me into the warm cabin.

  “I got up early, and I slow-cooked a chicken stew with sweet potatoes. I knew this was the day you’d come back to me. To the world.” He closes the door behind him. “And for dessert, there is chocolate cake. I’ve never made it before, so be nice.”

  I grin, tears forming in my eyes. “You cook and you agree to come with me on a mad plan, not even knowing the details? Damn.”

  Nibbles barks in excitement, circling around us. “You’re my mate. I’ll follow you anywhere, Gwen.”

  I wince. “You may regret saying that, considering I’ve made a plan, and it’s crazy dangerous. We might die.”

  He laughs, and I love the sound as it bounces around the room. “I’d be disappointed if it wasn’t, at this point. I’m with you no matter what.”

  Chapter

  Two

  “We’re going to miss you,” Feyre claims, her breath foggy in the morning light. She rubs the side of her arm. She looks pale, and none of us like it. I don’t know the full extent of her sickness, only that she needs regular treatment, and Finnegan says we have a few months before we need to find a Nexus healer in one of the cities to help her.

  Finnegan is speaking with his father, who is holding Nibbles on a lead. Even with her limp, she tries to get to me. I look away before I change my mind about leaving her here. Nibbles will be safe here, and I will come back for her when this is over. Feyre is still talking, and I focus. “Good luck and keep my brother safe, please. He is strong and takes all the responsibility on himself, but I know he needs someone at his side. That’s you. He loves you. I’m going to pray every single day to the Gods for you both.”

  “I’ll do everything I can to fix this.” I nod. Starlight City was her home too, with her friends, who are likely all dead now.

  “Hey.” She touches my shoulder. “Don’t look like that. That guilt? It isn’t yours. You know it’s not your fault, right?”

  I can’t answer that because it still feels like it is my fault, and it always will be. I’ve run from who I am, I’ve trusted the wrong person, and I’ve hurt so many because of it. Finn watches me even as he speaks to his father, his eyes saying everything. We will be okay. “I can’t agree with you, but I can try to put some things right.”

  Feyre unexpectedly hugs me. My arms hover at my side for a second before hugging her back. “May luck and the Gods be on your side, Gwen. May the stars watch over you.” She backs away and goes to hug Finn next. Finn’s father nods at me, and I return it. He’s been a bit wary of me, and I don’t blame him. I’ve destroyed half of the city he grew up in and loved. He looks at me like exactly what I am—the most dangerous thing walking this planet. I guess I can claim that title, even if it was something I never wanted.

  Finnegan comes over to me after a moment with his sister, and we climb into a truck that Finnegan used cash to buy from the junkyard at the nearest town. We can’t take the car we came in, just in case they know to look for it. But if they start asking around, we also don’t want them to have any leads to find us, so he paid more for them to not ask any questions and, hopefully, keep their mouths shut.

  I close the rickety door as Finn gets into the driver’s seat and starts the loud engine. It will be a miracle if this junky truck makes it down the road. Finnegan seems to have some trust in it though, and he knows more about motors than I do, luckily. It’s about a two-hour drive, and most of it we drive in silence, just sharing snacks and drinks.

  “I’m going to say it just once—I don’t think this is a good idea,” Finnegan murmurs, parking the truck outside the large sign for the forest. It’s a word in Welsh I couldn’t pronounce if I tried, and it has twenty-odd letters in it. The sign itself is weathered and rusting, half-falling off the pole, and ivy has crawled up it. “There’s a reason humans don’t come anywhere near this forest, and my Nexus isn’t sure. He wants to grab you and run.”

  “Well, I’ve been in there once—no, wait, twice—there was one time when I went on my own to grab a spell about a year after my parents’ death. But the first time, my mother took me when I was young.” I stare at the forest, like I can see her now. “She woke me in the middle of the night, when Father wasn’t there, and told me to be silent. I didn’t speak a word as she parked right outside the forest, and we walked into it. I was terrified, but my mother wasn’t. She held her head high, her shoulders tense and her Nex weapon in her hand, hidden under a black cloak. She didn’t hide me.”

  “Why?” Finnegan questions. “Why bring a child to a place like this?”

  “Well, we visited all the black markets on occasion, but it was always with my mother only. My father forbade her from going, so she would drug him or take me when he was out and couldn’t stop her. He was always so angry, and their arguments lasted weeks after.” I shrug a shoulder. “My favourite one is in Scotland, and I took Alek there…to save Rhodes.” I clear my throat. “But there’s one in London and there’s one in Wales. There’s many in Spain that are incredible, with creatures so ancient they shouldn’t exist, but they do. I don’t think the Nexus has great control over everyone there, but this one in Wales is slightly different. It’s known as the worst, but we need spells, things to keep us protected, hidden from the Nexus and its magic trackers.”

  “We need to become untraceable,” Finnegan agrees, his eyes on the forest. “And for the record, your mother shouldn’t have brought a child here. If I had a kid, I’d never…” He drifts off, his body tense, like he is imagining how scared I must have been. The black markets were nothing on my childhood, not compared to the worst things they did to make me strong. Maybe one day I can tell him all of it. That’s not today, though.

  I carry on. “The easiest way to become untraceable at this current point is through witches’ potions. I’m going to ask for some and I’m going to ask for her to look into the future, tell me what I need to know. I remember when I went, my mother—we were only picking things up—but she mentioned that only witches could tell fates in the future, and a way to avoid that fate. My mother said that she never wanted to do any business with a witch again after she saw this one when she was pregnant with me. She never told me what she was told, only that she was reluctant to come back to ask for a potion, but this witch is the last living witch on earth. It’s her or nothing.”

  “I’ve been drunk in bars and heard people joke about witches and how they once ruled this entire world. I didn’t think they were real. What does she look like?” he asks.

  I blink. “I remember her being the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen.”

  “Well, that can’t be true.” Finnegan looks at me. “The most beautiful woman is sitting right next to me.”

  I laugh. “Wait till you see the witch. It’s definitely magic or something, but she is beautiful in a strange way, and I don’t even like women.” He shakes his head at me, turning the truck off. “I’m surprised you haven’t been to a black market. Didn’t your job as the Starlight Assassin take you out of the city?”

  “Not really. My jobs, well, were mostly in the city for the alpha, to do his dirty work. I did travel to Morriganis City once and to America to the small Nexus colony there, but in truth, I was only looking for you in those cities. My job was just a reason to go. Hollis checked the black markets for you.” He spits out his name, and an owl hoots in the dark, so loud I can hear it through the small gap in the car window.

  “Morriganis City…where my aunt lives.” I wince. “I don’t think I want to meet any more family members after last time.” Finn looks at me, and he doesn’t hide his wince. “You’re right; it’s definitely too soon to be joking about it.”

  “It’s not that, Sun. We haven’t really talked about Georgina or that power. My Nexus claims she is still alive. I guess a twin would know. There is nothing more powerful than the Gods—but now there are you two. Do you understand that? What you’ve been born with—if you could control it? The Vian would never be able to stop you. The Nexus would bow to you. You’d be a God, Gwen. You said Georgina amplifies power, but that means the power is yours. If you took her power…then you’d be unstoppable.”

  “If I killed her for her power, then I’m just as evil as the Vian I want to stop,” I admit, and Finn looks away. “It happens when I shift, this grey power, and it’s uncontrollable to me. But in the last few days when I’ve shifted, it’s not happening. No trees have died; everything’s been okay around me. Maybe it’s gone.”

  “I don’t think it’s gone,” he tells me. “Death still shadows you. I can sense it. It’s like something in the corner of your eye that you can’t see but you can feel is watching you. Death watches you, Gwen, and my Nexus knows it. It’s not here to take…but it’s here, nonetheless. It’s been there for you—it always has since we met.”

  Death has been my shadow since I was born, and now I plan to dance with it.

  I open the old truck door and look back. “They have plenty of illegal weapons here. I once saw a dagger that had poison magic woven into it, and no matter how many times you used it, it never ran out of poison.”

  Finnegan’s eyes light up. “Well, that’s one way to lure me into a creepy forest.”

  “I could take my top off and lead you with my tits if you prefer?” I counter.

  He coughs on a shocked laugh as I climb out, grinning to myself as I shut the door behind me.

  “I have a locker here with cash in it. I have them at most of the markets, just so you know,” I explain as he locks the truck before we begin the walk down the very creepy path into the forest.

  “How did your parents get so much money?” Finnegan asks. It’s a fair question and one I’ve never known the answer to.

  “I don’t know.” I pull my bottom lip between my teeth. “I know at least twenty-odd places that they’ve stored a lot of cash, like millions, but I don’t know how they did. I don’t know why they didn’t spend some of that cash on us sometimes. There were a lot of times we…”

  I only stop because it’s my go-to when speaking about my past. Finn links his hand with mine. “It’s me. You’re only talking to me. I want to know all of your past.”

  “My whole life has been secreting and lies… Gods, I don’t even know how to tell you everything. It’s odd to talk about everything.” I clear my throat. “There were a lot of times when we didn’t have food, when we were starving for days and sleeping on dodgy floors of abandoned buildings. They told me it wasn’t safe going outside, and I wanted to believe them, but sometimes I think and wonder, if we had all that money…couldn’t they pay for us to disappear safely? To guarantee at least we had food. There’s a lot of questions I would love to ask my parents, but they’re gone, and I’m starting to realise that I loved them too much. Maybe love clouded my judgment of their behaviour—especially when I now know they gave my twin sister away to the Vian like she was nothing, gave her to them to be turned into a monster, yet hid me, and I was a monster too. It doesn’t make much sense, does it?”

  “No, talk about favouritism,” Finnegan mutters. “But she is your twin sister, Gwenieve. Your family. Do you want to try to speak to her? Without the Vian king around?”

  “After what she did, she’s nothing but dead to me,” I snap, but it’s too quick, and Finnegan knows it. He sees right through me but, to my relief, he doesn’t push me on the subject of Georgina.