Chase

  Even though Hallie’s doctor cleared her to fly, we decided to take the ferry to Fireweed Harbor for the trip there and then fly back. Ferry travel was common in the southern part of Alaska. Neither one of us had actually taken the ferry to the southeast part of the state. The route was approximately two days, but we had a cabin to sleep in, and the views were stunning.

  I stood beside her at the railing on the deck, watching as the wind blew her brown hair in a swirl. My eyes dipped down to the swell of her breasts and her round belly. I found myself more frequently wanting to slide my hand over that curve. Whenever we slept together, I curled behind her with one palm resting there as if I could protect our baby.

  “Look!” she said, pointing.

  I glanced ahead to see a group of Dall’s porpoises zipping through the water.

  “They’re so fast! Do you know what they are?”

  “Dall’s porpoises. I saw them once before when I was out fishing with my dad.”

  We watched for a few minutes before they disappeared from view. Alaska, being typically generous, also gave us the sight of a humpback whale breaching in the distance and a pod of orcas swimming.

  Later the following day, Fireweed Harbor came into view. The sunset was in its early stages. It felt as if the town itself was showing off for me, with the light reflected on the water shimmering with orange, red, and pink. The town was nestled into the mountains. A glacier in the distance was bathed in the colors from the setting sun, the otherworldly blue glittering.

  “Oh, wow, it's beautiful,” Hallie breathed.

  We glanced around as the ferry came to a slow stop. Announcements came over the speaker to direct the passengers. We hadn’t brought a vehicle, so Rhys was picking us up at the harbor.

  My gut churned with anxiety. I was meeting an entire part of my family that I hadn't known existed until recently. The main part of downtown was visible from the harbor as we walked onto the docks. Hallie was ever practical and had a backpack, just as I did, for the weekend.

  There were whimsically painted storefronts, cars lining the streets with winding roads that led up the hillside from the main section of town. We walked from the docks into the parking area. I glanced around, turning when I heard my name.

  Rhys stood on the sidewalk, waving at us. My anxiety eased a little. I knew him. I just had to meet four more siblings. I supposed I was grateful that two of them were out of town for now, so it wasn’t as overwhelming.

  I reached for Hallie’s hand. Rhys met us halfway, smiling down at Hallie.

  She glanced up at him. “You look like Archer,” she observed, having met Archer on one of her weekends in Willow Brook.

  Rhys grinned. “You must be Hallie.”

  “I am,” she returned. She looked from him to me. “Wow. You two look a lot alike, different eye colors, though.”

  He grinned before shifting his focus to me. For a second, we hesitated before he pulled me into a back-slapping hug and then stepped back. “Good to see you again. You two ready to go?”

  “Sure thing,” I replied.

  “They're coming in shifts,” he said as we got in the car.

  “What do you mean?” Hallie asked.

  “Well, McKenna's already at the house,” Rhys began.

  “She's your only sister, right?” I prompted.

  “Yours too,” he replied.

  “It’s gonna take a while for me to get used to that.”

  “I bet.” He chuckled. “For now, it’s me, McKenna, Adam, and Blake this weekend. We figured we could have dinner at my mother’s house.”

  “I'm good with faces but not so great with names, so I hope everyone’s patient with me. I think I can handle three, though,” I offered.

  Rhys threw his head back with a laugh at that. “Good. Mix them up.”

  “Who's the youngest again?”

  “McKenna, and she hates it. We’re stairsteps.”

  “I thought, if you want, we could go to the main offices tomorrow, and you can check out the business.”

  “Ooh, where the winery started?” Hallie asked.

  “You got it.” He glanced over his shoulder, casting a smile at Hallie.

  “I've always loved the wine from there, but I can't have any of it now.”

  “We have non-alcoholic versions of everything, the mead, wine, and beer.”

  “Oh, wow. I didn’t know that.”

  Rhys shrugged, adding, “We don’t distribute those as widely, but it's an option. Plus, there are all the food options too.”

  “My parents love ordering from there for the holidays,” Hallie commented.

  “Our holiday gift baskets are legendary.”

  “But you do so much more now, right?” I prompted.

  Rhys nodded. “Oh, yeah. We call the main location in Fireweed Harbor the flagship, but it's basically the family pet project at this point. They expanded fast when they started making money.”

  Stress churned inside. I didn't know why. It almost felt like I was betraying my father by having a biological father who turned out to be wealthy. I kept those thoughts to myself, though. That wasn't what this weekend was about.

  Chapter Thirty

  Hallie

  I glanced over at Chase. He looked anxious, irritable, and guarded all at once.

  “This is a nice place, but not too ostentatious,” I commented.

  Rhys had taken us on a tour of the main house before delivering us to a guesthouse on the property. The guesthouse had a living room, kitchen, and bathroom with laundry downstairs. The space was an open concept with a wide stairway to one side that led to a loft upstairs. The loft had an open area with chairs with a view through the floor-to-ceiling windows. Just off that was a bedroom and bathroom. The bathroom was luxurious, with a large oval-shaped tub and a rainfall shower surrounded by glass.

  Chase and I were sitting downstairs in a small dining nook in the kitchen. The refrigerator was stocked for us. He glanced over as he ran a hand through his hair and leaned back, reaching for the glass of water I'd poured for him a few minutes ago.

  “Are you okay?” I asked.

  He finished a swallow of water and set the glass down before shrugging. “This is…” He paused and let out a short sigh.

  “This is a lot,” I offered. “A lot” had become shorthand between us. I’d originally said it about my unexpected pregnancy and our baby and everything that came with it.

  He cracked a half-smile, nodding. “Yeah, it is. I have seven half siblings that I didn't know about and another who passed away.”

  “I’m so sorry about that,” I offered. “Do you know what happened to him?”

  “Rhys told me he died of alcohol poisoning in college. He said he was a heavy drinker and a big partier. I get the sense there's more to the story than that.” Pausing, he gave his head a little shake. “It’s still so weird that Archer is my cousin. We were in elementary school together, and then he moved away.”

  “Did his family move back here?”

  “Yup. His parents ran the Cannon Mine before it closed. It was about to be re-opened, but Archer took over, and he’s renovating all the operations into renewable energy.”

  I nodded before asking, “How can I help this weekend?”

  Chase leaned over, curling his hand over mine. “Just you being here is good.”

  “I'm great with social chatter. I have to schmooze all the time when I do gallery openings. That'll be my job this weekend.”

  “Thank you.” He turned my hand over, lifting it and dropping a kiss in the center of my palm. The touch was brief, but it felt as if a pebble dropped and sent ripples of heat shimmering through me.

  A little while later, we walked from the guesthouse back to the main house. We were expecting to meet McKenna. Rhys had texted that she had come home from running errands and was cooking dinner for all of us this evening. Their mother was out of town this weekend, so it wasn’t as many people as I’d worried about on Chase’s behalf.

  Following Chase’s knock, Rhys opened the door a minute later, saying, “You don't need to knock. Our house is yours.”

  “Not really,” Chase corrected.

  Rhys didn't miss a beat. “No, really.”

  We walked into the space, and I glanced around. The space was open, airy, and beautiful. He’d explained earlier that his mother had worked with Archer to update the home to run entirely off renewable power.

  He led us down a wide hallway into a kitchen and dining area. A woman was standing at the counter. Her hair was up in a bun with tendrils falling around her face. She and Rhys shared the same silver-gray eyes and dark blond hair.

  She rounded the counter, practically skipping. She stopped in front of Chase and threw her arms around him in an enthusiastic hug. Her energy was warm and infectious. He was smiling when he stepped away. “Hey, you must be McKenna.”

  “Yep. I'm the only woman.” She let out a sigh. “I am so happy to meet you in person and not just chatting in messages. You have no idea. I finally get a brother who didn't tease me relentlessly when we were growing up.”

  Chase chuckled, and they fell into a light conversation. After that introduction, two more half-brothers arrived, Blake and Adam. While Chase shared his dad’s coloring by coincidence since his mother had the same coloring as well, his features were of the mold of his siblings. The men had chiseled jawlines and angled cheekbones, while McKenna shared the same lines although they were a touch softer.

  They were all warm and welcoming. I could sense the undercurrents of uncertainty running through the room. Under the best of circumstances, this was an unusual way to find each other. Chase seemed glad to have me there. I could ask questions and be curious without the burden of wondering if I was crossing some imaginary line.

  Later that night after we had returned to the guesthouse, I had asked if he wanted to watch TV. He readily agreed, and I thought he might crave the distraction from, well, everything.

  Once we were relaxed on the couch with a show on, I glanced over. “How are you?”

  When his gaze met mine, his eyes were tired. “Good. Like you said, it’s a lot.”

  His arm was curled over my shoulders, and he squeezed his palm lightly on my upper arm as if he were trying to reassure me.

  “They seem to be trying to keep it low-key.”

  “I know. Thank god,” he said, letting out a sigh. “Thank you.”

  “For what?”

  “For coming with me. You're a good buffer.”

  I smiled, leaning up to press a kiss on his cheek. Just then, the baby kicked in my belly. Because I was curled up into his side, Chase felt it. We looked down together.

  His voice held a hint of wonder in it. “Wow. He's getting busy.”

  “I told you he’s been kicking more.”

  I felt his knuckles under my chin, and I lifted my gaze to his again, losing myself in the dark heat banked in his. We started kissing, and I forgot any worries tumbling about in my thoughts. The weekend passed quickly. There was only one tense moment that rankled me.

  Chase was talking to Rhys, Adam, and Blake. I didn't know what they were talking about, obviously, but he looked over at me. Afterward, he was quiet.

  “Everything okay?” I prompted after Rhys dropped us off at the airport.

  “Yeah, fine,” he said quickly.

  I knew this was an emotionally intense weekend for him, so I wasn't going to press, but it stung a little that he wouldn’t discuss whatever he was thinking.

  Chapter Thirty-One

  Chase

  “Come on, Dad. You must have some idea.”

  My dad eyed me from across the table where we sat in his kitchen. I'd stopped by late one morning to have coffee with him before going into the station.

  “Son, you know I would tell you if I knew.”

  “You didn't tell me about this.” As soon as I spoke, I knew those words weren't fair.

  He closed his eyes, but not before I saw the pain in them. When he opened them again, his gaze was weary and resigned. “I didn't tell you because I didn't actually know. Maybe I had my suspicions, but I didn’t believe it was worth kicking up a fuss over something I didn’t know. I raised you. You're my son. None of this changes my love for you.”

  “I'm sorry, Dad. I shouldn't have said that,” I said quickly. “It doesn't change how I feel about you.” I paused, taking a healthy gulp of coffee. “Did you ever wonder if she had another child?”

  “Son, I can guarantee you that your mother did not have another child after she had your sister. Even if she had an affair, we were never apart for nine months. I think you’re inviting trouble by wondering things like that.”

  I knew he was right. “I still can’t believe she hid this from me. Apparently, she was involved with my bio dad off and on for a year.”

  “Your mom was like a firecracker.” My eyes widened, and he shrugged. “That was your mom. She was exciting, bright, and hard to look away from when things were good. But if you got too close, you got burned. I didn't know who she dated before we met. I knew she had a boyfriend from a summer job. She blamed the breakup on him.”

  “It sounds like he's the one who called it off,” I said flatly. “He caught her cheating on him.”

  “Makes sense,” my dad interjected practically. He cocked his head to the side, studying me. “Chase…” He let out a heavy sigh. “You need to come to peace with what you don't know about your mom. This will eat you up inside. I'm sorry. All I wanted to do was be a father to you and make sure you had a good life.”

  “You did, Dad. You did. It’s just—”

  “I know. Your mom was not easy. I never knew how to fix that part of everything. I just kind of let it drift because anything else seemed worse. I wanted her around for your sake.”

  “So it didn't hurt you that she was always…?” I pressed, not stating the obvious fact she was so often bouncing in and out of our lives..

  He shrugged. “At first, I wanted your mom to want to settle down. I eventually just saw it for what it was. She wasn’t one to stay in one place.”

  “What about you and Mr. Green?”

  “Yeah, that burned. Not because of your mom, but because of him. Yet I even understood how he ended up in that situation. In his case, he was older and going through a rough patch in his marriage. I’m sure she made him feel on top of the world.”

  I knew how my mother's attention could feel. It was bright and all-encompassing when it was positive. The shade cast in the aftermath was cold and created a sense of loss.

  “I know you're right,” I finally said. “I’m working on coming to terms with it.”

  “How's Hallie?” my dad asked.

  My smile came automatically. “She's good.”

  “How are things working out with you two?”

  “Good, I think. I don't know if this is the right approach. I didn't know what else to do. We're having a baby together. If we have a chance at a relationship, it seems we might want to figure that out sooner rather than later.” My dad nodded. “I'm just hoping it works out.”

  “Chase, just be careful.”

  “About what?”

  “You're having a baby together. Your baby is far more important than anything else.”

  My heart ached through several beats as I realized he wasn't just talking about Hallie and me. He was talking about the choice he made when my mom told him she was pregnant with a baby—me—who turned out not to be his. But he made the commitment before I was even born, and he’d kept it. That was the man he was.

  “I know, Dad.”

  “I love you, son.” He reached across the table to clap me on the shoulder and squeeze firmly.

  “I love you too, Dad.”

  My dad was usually right, and I knew he was spot-on about my mom. I couldn't dwell on it. I needed to learn to keep my tangled emotions around my mom from getting in the way of being a father and being a partner to Hallie.

  I thought I had it all figured out.

  Hallie was coming to Willow Brook more often. She liked being around Jasper. He loved resting his chin on her round belly. Hallie was beautiful in a soft, quiet way. Pregnant, she fairly glowed as if illuminated from within. I’d never thought myself the kind of guy to get all mushy. I kept telling myself to be gentle with her, but that just wasn't how it went for us. Once our hands were on each other, we couldn't get enough of each other.

  Time and again, after moments of fierce intimacy ticked by, she’d be resting on the pillows, her cheeks flushed pink and her eyes hazed with passion in the aftermath. She looked luminous. Lately, she thought she looked frumpy. Whenever she tried to zip her winter coat, she’d frown down at her round belly.

  “You're beautiful,” I assured her one morning.

  She rolled her eyes. “Thank you. I didn't even have to train you.”

  I laughed. “Do you want to come into town with me?” I asked. I had to run by the station because I was on call for the weekend and I'd forgotten my on-call bag.

  “If you don't mind, I'll just wait here.”

  “Of course not. I won't be long.”

  I wasn't. I returned roughly half an hour later, walking in to hear the tail end of a phone call.

  “I'm so glad everything's going well. I'd love to be there. Oh, you're coming here? That is awesome. Tell me when, and I’ll meet you at the airport if you need a ride.”

  I couldn't help but be curious. It was my old habit, the eavesdropping habit.

  “We're doing really well.” I heard her say. There was a moment of silence, and then she said, “Miss you, love you. Take care.”

  I couldn't help it, but I knew I’d fucked up the second the words came out of my mouth. I toed off my shoes and hung up my jacket, commenting, “You know I've never heard anybody telling a friend they love them.”

  Hallie set her phone on the counter and turned around. “Excuse me?”

  “Just an observation,” I added, trying to ignore the stab of uncertainty.

  “I told you, Jonathan is one of my best friends. If you're worried, that’s ridiculous. He’s happily married to his husband.”