I took a swallow of beer, conducting a mental scan of my body, heart, and soul. “Well, I think I'm all right. I'm still dealing with the shock of it, but I'm ready.”

  “Do you like her?”

  “I do. Her brother is the police chief in Diamond Creek.”

  “Ah. Well, you might as well get the scoop on him from Rex,” my dad said matter-of-factly.

  I shook my head slowly as I laughed. “Figured you'd say that.”

  “Nothing wrong with doing a little reconnaissance. She's about to be the mother of your son.”

  “I know, but I trust her, Dad. My gut has a good feeling,” I insisted.

  “You know, son, gut feelings aren't always right.”

  Given the news bomb my family had absorbed recently, that was a practical point.

  “Tell me seriously, Dad. You have always been very circumspect about Mom, and I respect that you never wanted to bash her even though we didn't have a good relationship. Tell me the truth. We obviously all know now that she was pregnant with Jacob Cannon’s baby when you married her.”

  My dad took a deep breath. “Son, it doesn't matter all that much.”

  “It does to me,” I pressed, my voice low. I just want to understand why you married her.”

  “Because I wanted to be your father. My gut feeling wasn't wrong about your mom. She was like a flame that burned fast. She was impossible to look away from.”

  “I know.”

  “And when she came to me and told me she was pregnant, the timeline was vague. There was a seed of doubt in the corner of my mind that maybe I wasn't the only guy she’d been with. But I was stable. I'm kind of a boring guy.”

  “Dad, you're not boring,” I insisted.

  “You know what I mean. I don't party. My adrenaline comes from being outdoors, but that's about it. I was born and raised here. I was financially stable, and I already owned my own home. I knew I could be a good father, and I wanted children, so I chose to believe her. Then we had your sister. I had a family, and I loved you both so much. In a way, I loved your mother. She was not a perfect person, but none of us are.”

  “Dad, Mom was something different than not perfect. She was toxic.”

  My father took a deep breath, letting it out before taking a swallow from his beer. “I recognize that’s how you feel, and I wish things had been different. She was a wounded person, and she hurt other people as she went through life, including you and your sister.”

  My throat ached. That splinter lodged in my heart stung.

  “Life is never easy. That's one thing I know. Maybe it was a mistake to make the call I did, but you were coming along no matter what. She was also your mother, and that wasn’t going to change. I love you as my son, not like a son. You are my son.”

  My father thumped his fist against his chest, his eyes glistening as he held my gaze. He leaned across the table, uncurling his palm and clasping my shoulder. He squeezed firmly, his touch steadying me inside. “It’s gonna be okay. I am sorry that she lied, and I'm sorry that it hurt you. I wish I'd known sooner. Your bio dad sounds like a good man. We would have been friends.”

  I took a shaky breath and nodded.

  “I've held back out of respect for you, but don't turn away your family. Family is what you make it. I know that for a fact, whether it's blood or something else, the ties that bind are the ties that bind. The ties that we strengthen become stronger. They want to know you, so give them that chance.”

  “Fuck, Dad. You're gonna make me cry in a fucking restaurant,” I muttered hoarsely.

  He chuckled. “All right. Enough of the deep talk. Think about it, though. Your sister wants to be that bridge. You know her. She loves building bridges.”

  “I know she does.”

  “We can't change what happened, but you can change how you deal with it,” he said firmly.

  I took another shaky breath. “I love you, Dad.”

  “And I love you, son.”

  I took a swallow of beer and gulped in air. I let it out slowly, and the tightness in my throat started to ease. I blinked back the tears just before Gracie arrived with our salmon burgers.

  “Okay, guys, anything else?” she asked with a smile.

  “Nope. We're all set.”

  My dad was true to his word because he was that kind of man. We moved on from the deep talk and chatted about his guiding schedule for the summer.

  When I got home that night, I pulled out my phone and tapped out a text to Hallie.

  Me: Told my dad. He's really excited.

  Hallie: Great! We haven't done our three things today. What are your three favorite fishing spots in Alaska?

  Me: Is this a trick question?

  Locals in Alaska could be seriously opinionated about fishing spots.

  Hallie: No! I figure you’re informed because your dad’s a guide.

  I grinned as I replied.

  Me: Well, are we talking salmon or halibut? If salmon, are we talking rod fishing or dipnetting? The details matter, you know.

  Chapter Sixteen

  Hallie

  I was beyond nervous. My stomach felt like it was flipping in my belly, and I honestly couldn't tell if I was actually feeling my baby move or if I was just that nervous about Chase arriving to meet me for my doctor's appointment.

  The other night with him had been good. Almost too good. I'd been dreaming of him and dreaming of our baby and starting to get hopes that were crazy. Super domestic. Visions of me cooking dinner, us having a big house and a whole passel of kids, a dog, and maybe a cat, or a bearded dragon. All these wildly overblown thoughts all because Chase said he wanted to see how things go with us. That didn’t mean we were going to fall in love. That was the problem.

  I was really, really falling for him.

  But you've only had two nights with him. It's just the sex. You can’t even think straight.

  I couldn’t ruminate or obsess any further. In all honesty, I'd obsessed for hours upon hours upon hours. There was a knock on my door, and I stared at it from where I sat on the couch. I’d texted him to pick me up here instead of at my studio because my schedule had changed.

  I stood, smoothing my hands over my belly where the curve was starting to show more by the day. I crossed the room, stopping by the door. I took a deep breath and let it out slowly, willing my pulse to slow the hell down.

  He knocked again, and I laughed to myself. I swung the door open quickly. “Hey!” I practically yelped.

  His eyes widened slightly. “Hey, Hallie.” His gaze skated over my face, dipping down to my belly and then back up. I felt my cheeks heating. “How are you?”

  “Uh, just nervous actually,” I blurted out, not intending to be that blunt.

  His eyes warmed. “Well, that makes two of us then.”

  “Oh, you're nervous too?”

  “Yeah. I've never been to a doctor's appointment with a woman. I have no idea what to expect. And obviously, I've never been a father. So this is all new for me.”

  We laughed together. He stepped closer, lifting a hand and brushing some loose locks of hair off my cheek as he bent low to brush a kiss over my lips. “Good to see you,” he murmured.

  It literally felt as if hot cinders fell through me. My whole body felt tingly with sparks of heat.

  “Should we go?” he asked.

  I nodded quickly.

  “Should we drive?”

  I shook my head. “No, let's walk. It's just a few blocks away.”

  The next thing I knew, we were walking down the sidewalk, and Chase was holding my hand. His grip was firm and warm, his palm dry.

  “How was your drive?” I heard myself asking politely.

  “Good. I always like the drive to Anchorage.”

  “Really?”

  “Yeah, it's a pretty drive. Anchorage is a city, but it's a stunning view all the way here from Willow Brook.”

  I smiled up at him. “True.” I looked ahead again. “Here we are.” I stopped in front of the sign at my doctor’s office. I hadn’t even been thinking about it, but I suddenly realized I needed to tell him about my miscarriage. It wasn’t as if I’d been hiding it, it’s just it was a sad, painful time in my life. I cleared my throat, peering up at him. “I need to tell you something.”

  His brows hitched up as he nodded. I gulped in a quick breath of air, trying to ignore the tightness in my chest. “I had a miscarriage a few years ago.”

  He was dead silent for long enough I started to worry. Until his eyes skated over my face, concern held there. “Okay. I’m sorry.”

  I blinked away the tears stinging my eyes. “Thank you. I, uh… Well, you already know I have endometriosis, and they don’t know if that affected my pregnancy then. Anyway, it was with an ex who turned out to be an alcoholic. We broke up, and that’s long over, but I guess I thought you should know.” I gestured toward the entrance to the doctor’s office. “I don’t know why I’m telling you now. It just felt like I should.”

  He studied me for another moment. The feel of his thumb brushing in a gentle path over the inside of my wrist was comforting. “Okay. You didn’t have to tell me.”

  The tightness is my chest was easing, and I took a full breath. “I know, but I wanted to. I promise I’m not all hung up on it.”

  He nodded again, and I just felt—okay. That was all I needed.

  A moment later, we were walking in, and the receptionist smiled at me, her eyes bouncing curiously to Chase.

  “I'm here for my appointment. Hallie Thomas.”

  “Yep. Just a sec. Let me check you in.” She typed on her keyboard. “Any updates for insurance?”

  “No changes.”

  “Okay, have a seat. Dr. Williams will be with you shortly.”

  We sat down, and I looked around. At the moment, no one else was waiting. Chase glanced over at the magazine rack and then back at me. “Wow.”

  “Wow, what?”

  “It’s all parenting or health magazines. These aren't the kind of magazines I see in my doctor's office.”

  I burst out laughing. “It’s usually women here unless they're bringing a guy with them.”

  Just then, the door to the back hallway where all the offices were opened, and my doctor peered out. “Hey, Hallie. Come on back.” She waved us toward her.

  We stood together. I didn't know what to think about the fact that I reached for Chase’s hand, relieved to discover he was reaching for me at the same time. My doctor’s eyes dipped down to our clasped hands when we approached her.

  “This is Chase,” I said.

  She held a computer tablet in her hands and dipped her chin in a nod. “Nice to meet you, Chase. I'm Dr. Williams.”

  Chase smiled. “Nice to meet you too.”

  “Come on back,” she added as she turned to lead us down the hallway.

  My heart was thumping hard in my chest. It was weird to have a baby inside me. For my entire life, I was accustomed to feeling my own body have reactions. Now, whenever something happened, I felt like I could also feel my baby's response. The rush of blood felt different through my system. We walked down the hallway, which had cream-colored walls and soothing watercolor paintings. Our footfalls were muted on the thin carpeting.

  Dr. Williams turned into a doorway, and we walked into the exam room. “Here we go. So let's have a seat first.”

  Chase and I sat together on the only two chairs against the wall, and she sat on a low stool that had an attached desk with a computer screen mounted on it. She set her tablet down and shifted the computer screen to look at it before smiling.

  “Chase is the father,” I said quickly.

  “Okay. I'm glad you're here. How do you two want to handle this appointment? I need to do an exam. Do you want him in here for that? He can be here for the whole thing if you’d like.”

  “That's fine,” I said quickly. I'd already thought this part through. We'd had sex. This was no big deal.

  Dr. Williams nodded. “We're going to do the ultrasound so you can find out the baby’s gender.”

  “Today?” I squeaked. “We thought there would be an official appointment for that.”

  She smiled. “I mentioned it, but it’s possible you have a lot on your mind and it didn’t sink in,” she explained with a warm smile before adding, “You’re eighteen weeks along now. The big question is do you two want to know your baby’s gender? Have you had this conversation?”

  “Yes. We decided we want to know,” I said. We’d had that convo via text with a phone follow-up, and I was grateful we’d thought ahead.

  She smiled. “Okay. That's a relief. I don't mind keeping the secret, but it's nice when I don't have to worry about it. Every so often, I've slipped up by accident.” Chase grinned. “It’s not like I announce it. I have to be careful to call the baby, the baby all the time. This makes it easier. All right, well, let me go over what we do at these upcoming appointments. As long as Hallie wants you here, you are welcome at any of the appointments, but I’ll always defer to her.”

  “Completely understood,” Chase said with a nod.

  “They're kind of boring. This is the most exciting one,” she offered.

  “Any appointment Hallie invites me to, I’ll be here,” Chase said firmly. “I respect that it's her call.”

  “Good. We're all on the same page.” She quickly summarized the basics of the appointments and the schedule before finishing with, “Now, I'm going to step out. Hallie, you can change into a gown and get comfortable on the table. The ultrasound machine is right in here. We'll do the whole thing together.”

  After she left, Chase asked, “Are you sure you want me to stay?”

  “Definitely. You’ve seen me naked,” I teased.

  “Uh, I think this is different. It doesn't feel very sexy,” he said as he looked around the room.

  I burst out laughing as I stood. I quickly stripped down and pulled on the gown keeping on my socks because the room was chilly.

  “Nice socks,” he said with a grin.

  I looked down at my feet. I was wearing a pair of alternating striped pink and purple socks. “Thank you. I like to keep my socks fun. Might as well.” I sat on the table, swinging my legs.

  “Do we do anything?” he asked.

  “No, she'll knock in a second.”

  As if on cue, a light knock sounded on the door. “Ready?” she called, her voice muffled through the door.

  “Yeah, come on in.”

  She came in and did the exam. When she smeared the ultrasound jelly on my belly, I commented, “Ooh, that's warm.”

  “I know. I love it. It's made a big difference for patients.”

  “What's that?” Chase asked when she whipped out the wand.

  She grinned. “It's a wand with a camera on it. “It helps me see.”

  “You don’t do this on her belly?” he asked, his eyes widening.

  “We actually do both. There's a camera on this and on that,” she explained, gesturing to the wand and then the smaller handheld tool.

  “Holy shit,” he said. “That's kind of weird and invasive.”

  Dr. Williams burst out laughing. “I appreciate your bluntness, and I agree. At the moment, it’s the only way to do it, so here we go. Your job is to look at the screen.”

  Chase was completely fascinated by the process. I liked how interested he was. She explained everything thoroughly. “You two ready for the big reveal?”

  “Sure,” I replied just as Chase said, “For sure.”

  “Is it 100 percent?” he asked.

  “It’s 99 percent accurate at this stage in the pregnancy.”

  A moment later, she said, “Looks like you have a baby boy on the way.”

  “Oh, my god,” I breathed.

  Tears rolled down my cheeks, and Chase was hugging me. It was all a little overwhelming. Dr. Williams shifted back to business pretty quickly, interjecting, “You two can stay in here for a bit, but I have another appointment. Everything looks great, and your baby boy is on schedule so far.”

  She removed the wand from inside me, wiped the jelly off my belly, and I sat up on the table. “You are totally on track. Next up is the testing. That can be stressful, so I just want to prepare you. Some people choose not to do it.”

  “We're doing it. We’ve already had the conversation,” I announced.

  That was one of the weirdest things about this with Chase. Even though we were fresh and this was crazy, I had felt the need to be transparent about everything. We weren't skipping any of the hard conversations.

  She nodded. “Okay, then.”

  “You'll see us both,” I said firmly.

  She smiled. “Schedule your next appointment on the way out and see you soon. Very nice to meet you,” she said to Chase just before she hurried away.

  I got dressed quickly. Chase looked over at me. “What do we do now?” he asked.

  “We go out, and I schedule my next appointment. You might as well pull up your work schedule, so we can figure out what works for you.”

  “Damn, this is weird,” Chase said as we walked down the hallway a minute later. “How do you feel?”

  My heart was pounding in this crazy, joyous beat, and I was almost overwhelmed with emotion. “I feel a lot,” I said honestly.

  He chuckled. “That makes two of us.”

  Chapter Seventeen

  Chase

  I hadn't planned on spending the night with Hallie, but I did. It seemed nothing that happened with her was planned. While nothing was planned, everything felt imbued with meaning and emotion that was startling in its intensity.

  We went to lunch after her appointment. No big deal, except I couldn't keep my eyes off her mouth and couldn’t stop thinking about kissing her and wanting the feel of her skin against mine. She asked what I was doing for the rest of the day.

  That evening as we were about to leave for dinner with her parents, her lashes swept down as a flush bloomed across her cheeks. “Chase,” she whispered. When her eyes opened again, her gaze locked onto mine with such force, I couldn't look away even if I tried. “Why? Why do I feel like this with you?”

  My heart thumped in recognition of her question. My heart was asking the same thing. All I wanted to do was keep her close.