Each morning I will repeat my “I believe” statement five times, with more confidence each time.

  1.

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  2.

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  3.

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  Make a note on your calendar to do the above activities this week. Don’t worry about not knowing the “how” of reaching your goal. You can address that later. Achieving a breakthrough right now requires that you believe you can do it, even in the face of having no plan. Your willingness to believe is the magic that Walt Disney spoke of when he said, “If you can dream it, you can do it.”

  GIVE UP THE WORDS “I CAN’T”

  Imagine getting rid of all those thoughts that detract from your belief in yourself. You may not realize it, but there is a hypnotic impact from speaking the words “I can’t.” If you are going to be successful in life, you have to give up the phrase “I can’t.” Using these words disempowers you. Thinking or speaking the words “I can’t” has been shown to make you physically weaker when you think them or say them.

  Think back to when you were very young, maybe two or three years old. You were beginning to explore the world. You thought you could do anything and you were unstoppable. Then, because of difficult, unpleasant, and traumatic experiences over your lifetime—and the conclusions and decisions you made in response to those experiences—you began to think you weren’t capable of doing all the things you wanted to. You learned to say and believe, “I can’t.”

  It’s now time to change that early childhood (and later) programming. You need to remove—entirely—the words “I can’t” from your vocabulary. Here’s how.

  Turn “I Can’t” Into “I Can”

  The purpose of this exercise is to reduce the power that “I can’t” has over you by converting the statement to a more accurate one. Most often, when you say “I can’t,” it’s a lie. What is true is a statement such as, “I haven’t learned how to—yet.” Or, “I don’t want to.”

  Step-by-Step

  Start by making a list of at least five “I can’t” statements you find yourself saying frequently. It is especially useful to write down any “I can’t” statements you say regarding accomplishing your Breakthrough Goal.

  Examples:

  I can’t quit my job.

  I can’t save enough money.

  I can’t start my own business.

  I can’t build a successful team.

  I can’t find the time to write a book.

  I can’t find time to play with my children.

  I can’t find time to exercise.

  I can’t ask my boss for a raise.

  Write five of your “I can’t” beliefs below.

  I can’t . When I say that, I feel .

  I can’t . When I say that, I feel .

  I can’t . When I say that, I feel .

  I can’t . When I say that, I feel .

  I can’t . When I say that, I feel .

  Once you have written each statement above, say it out loud, and notice how you feel. Make a note of this feeling in the space provided. Examples of these feelings might include, When I say that, I feel weak . . . I feel hopeless . . . I feel sad . . . I feel stupid . . . or I feel like giving up.

  Next, rewrite each statement you wrote above, replacing “I can’t” with “I won’t.”

  I won’t . When I say that, I feel .

  I won’t . When I say that, I feel .

  I won’t . When I say that, I feel .

  I won’t . When I say that, I feel .

  I won’t . When I say that, I feel .

  Next, read each one of these new statements out loud. Notice if you feel different when making an “I can’t” statement versus an “I won’t” statement. Make a note of the feeling on the lines above. Remember, your feelings contribute to your motivation for success and this exercise will help you notice these feelings. Examples of these new feelings include, When I say that, I feel hopeful . . . I feel more powerful . . . I feel more responsible . . . I feel like it is up to me . . . or I feel like I’ve been holding myself back.

  Are you ready to take it to the next level and forever eliminate your “I can’t” statements? Using the spaces below, rewrite each statement above using “I will” instead of “I won’t.”

  I will . When I say that, I feel .

  I will . When I say that, I feel .

  I will . When I say that, I feel .

  I will . When I say that, I feel .

  I will . When I say that, I feel .

  When you’re finished writing, say each statement out loud and notice how you feel as you make these new statements. Do you feel more in control of your life? Do you believe in yourself more than ever? Make a note of how you feel on the lines provided. Example: When I say that, I feel unstoppable . . . I feel more motivated . . . I feel powerful . . . or I feel joyful.

  Here are two more quick techniques for eliminating the words “I can’t.”

  Wear a rubber band on your wrist. Every time you say, “I can’t,” gently snap the band—not enough to hurt, but just enough to heighten your awareness and provide a minor negative stimulus.

  Put a glass fishbowl in your home somewhere where you can always see it, such as in your kitchen or by the front door. Place another one somewhere at work. Every time you say “I can’t,” put a dollar in the fishbowl. You can also invite your family and your coworkers to join you—asking them to help by pointing out every time you say, “I can’t.” You will find that children especially love to catch adults when they say “I can’t.” After a month, your family or coworkers can decide where the money collected should be spent or donated.

  MAKE-IT-A-HABIT WORKSHEET

  Acknowledge Your Daily Successes With a Victory Log

  A powerful way to increase your belief in yourself is to keep a written record of your daily successes in what is called a “Victory Log.” Each evening, review your day and write down all the successes you have had that day. Keep a running list in a notebook, or a note-taking app on your smartphone such as Notes, OneNote, Evernote, or Google Keep.

  By recalling and then writing down your successes each evening, you log them into your long-term memory, which enhances your belief in your ability to achieve goals and create success. You will begin to see that you have the experience and the self-confidence to achieve any goal you want again and again. And whenever you need a boost of confidence, you can reread what you have written.

  Step-by-Step:

  Decide where you want to create and keep your list, such as in a notebook, on your smartphone, or somewhere else.

  Create your list with the title My Victory Log and the date at the top.

  Each evening, write down your daily successes for that day. Your successes might include: Your accomplishments and achievements during the day.

  Any personal disciplines you kept, such as exercising, meditating, or reading.

  Any temptation that you did not give into, such as not eating dessert, not watching too much TV, or not drinking too much alcohol.

  Read over what you wrote and acknowledge yourself fully. Allow at least 20 seconds for the good feelings of accomplishment to soak in.

  Say to yourself, “If I could do that, then I can do (insert your Breakthrough Goal or another goal)!”

  MAKE-IT-A-HABIT WORKSHEET

  The Mirror Exercise

  One of the most powerful techniques I know for increasing belief in yourself—and one that I’ve been using myself for decades—is the Mirror Exercise. Every night before you go to bed, stand in front of a mirror, make direct eye contact with yourself, and verbally acknowledge yourself for all of your successes for that day, both big and small. The Mirror Exercise will quickly help you build your self-esteem and your self-confidence. This exercise is based on the principle that we all need acknowledgment, and the most potent acknowledgment we can receive is the acknowledgment we give to ourselves.

  Step-by-Step:

  Before you go to bed, find a quiet place where you can stand in front of a mirror.

  Look into the mirror and maintain eye contact with yourself throughout the entire exercise.

  Start by saying your name. Then acknowledge yourself for each success you had that day, each discipline you kept, and any temptations you resisted.

  End by saying, “I love you.” (I know that seems weird, but do it anyway.) Your Mirror Exercise might sound something like this:

  Jessica, I want to acknowledge you for finishing the first version of your new song, for working out for 30 minutes this morning, for asking Jonathan for more support in getting the new client project done on time, for eating a healthy lunch, for not spending hours on Pinterest after dinner, and for going to bed at a reasonable hour tonight.

  Whatever you accomplished that day, acknowledge yourself for it. And then add . . .

  Finally, I want to acknowledge you for sticking with the Mirror Exercise and acknowledging your successes tonight. I love you.

  End the exercise by standing there for several seconds to fully feel the impact of this experience. After all, you are the one in the mirror who just received all this acknowledgment and appreciation. The most important thing during this last part is not to turn away from the mirror because you are feeling embarrassed or thinking of yourself or the exercise as stupid or silly.

  I recommend that you do this exercise for the next 49 days in a row without missing one day and notice how it changes your life. You will find that thoughts of self-affirmation and self-validation are slowly replacing your negative self-talk. You may also discover that you want to continue doing this daily exercise for the rest of your life. One of my students has now done it for over 3,000 days (that’s 8 years) without missing a day!

  You can use the handy tool below to keep track of your daily use of the Mirror Exercise. Use the grid to check off each day you complete your Mirror Exercise for 49 days. Duplicate this grid on a separate piece of paper or 3ʺ × 5ʺ index card and post it on the mirror where you will see it every evening.

  S M T W T F S

  1 2 3 4 5 6 7

  8 9 10 11 12 13 14

  15 16 17 18 19 20 21

  22 23 24 25 26 27 28

  29 30 31 32 33 34 35

  36 37 38 39 40 41 42

  43 44 45 46 47 48 49

  MAKE-IT-A-HABIT WORKSHEET

  Display Your Symbols of Success

  The more you can view yourself as your own success story, the more likely you are to believe you can create even more success. Do you have items in your house that are symbols of your past accomplishments? Are the items stored away out of sight somewhere, such as in the garage, in a shoebox, or in a closet?

  Do you have a degree or a certificate you could frame? If you wrote and published a book, do you have the cover displayed in an attractive frame? Do you have sports trophies or other diplomas, photographs, medals, awards, or letters of recognition?

  You can display these as a way to continually remind yourself—both consciously and subliminally—of your ability to create results and manifest your dreams.

  Step-by-Step:

  Gather together all these symbols and images of your past successes.

  Find a place where you can attractively arrange and display them so that you see them regularly—such as on a wall, a bookcase, or a shelf.

  When you pass by this display, take a moment to acknowledge yourself for what you have accomplished.

  Add to Your Life Success Journal

  Turn to Your Life Success Journal and complete the exercise for this chapter.

  Chapter

  7

  Take Action!*

  You can’t cross the sea merely by standing and staring at the water.

  RABINDRANATH TAGORE

  Winner of the Nobel Prize in Literature

  You can’t get from where you are to where you want to be without taking action. When you begin to take action toward achieving what you want, you trigger all kinds of things that will carry you to success. You let those around you know that you are serious in your intention. Others start to pay attention to what you are doing. People with similar goals become aligned with you. You begin to learn from your experience about what works and what doesn’t. You begin to get valuable feedback about how to do it better, faster, and easier. Things that once seemed confusing begin to become clear. Your confidence expands, and you start to become more fully engaged in all areas of your life. You find yourself in the arena and not just a spectator in the stands.

  TWO DIFFERENT KINDS OF ACTIONS

  As you begin to think about the actions you will take in the pursuit of your goals, it is useful to understand two different kinds of actions: obvious actions and inspired actions. Both are important for your success.

  Obvious Actions

  Obvious actions are the practical steps that are required to accomplish the goal you have in mind. Examples of these actions include learning a specific skill such as real estate sales, completing a certification course such as for massage therapy, or creating a business plan for your new venture. You can discover the obvious actions that are required to achieve a specific goal by reading about, studying with, and interviewing those who have already achieved similar goals. You can also learn what you need to do from a coach or mentor with expertise in the area of your goals, or by conducting research online and in books for the best steps for accomplishing your goal.

  Inspired Actions

  Inspired actions are the actions you take as a result of inner guidance, intuitive insights, a hunch, or a gut feeling. Sometimes a great idea will come to you complete and in a flash. Other times, you may have a thought like, I don’t know why, but I have this urge to call a former colleague, or I’m just feeling a strong need to attend that conference. Listen to these voices and follow your inner guidance.

  There are many ways for you to create a fertile ground for these ideas to emerge, such as fully committing 100% to a goal, using visualizations and affirmations, and meditating on or praying about your goal. It’s also a great idea to keep paper and a pen on your bedside table or nearby during meditation to capture these ideas when they come up. A good axiom to live by is “As soon as you think it, ink it.” Otherwise, these subtle thoughts can easily disappear from your conscious awareness.

  ADOPT A BIAS FOR ACTION

  One of the biggest differences separating people who succeed from those who don’t is that winners take action. If you want to learn to play the piano, you need to play the piano. Taking action is what makes the difference.

  Ordinary people hesitate, often weighing things over and over in their mind forever. For you to achieve more than you have before, you need to take new actions and more action than you ever have before. As you take action, you learn more—and faster—than if you always wait and think about it. Many high achievers have said that their secret to success is to fail faster than anyone else—and the only way to fail is to take action by trying new things. Follow the advice from the top-selling brand of athletic wear: Just do it!

  CHUNK IT DOWN

  A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.

  CHINESE PROVERB

  As you discover all those actions that will be required for you to accomplish your Breakthrough Goal, it’s possible you may feel overwhelmed. That is normal. The nature of any stretch goal is that it requires you to think bigger than you have been thinking and take new actions that you haven’t taken before. Here’s what works in this situation. Begin by chunking the big steps down into smaller tasks. That way, the first step, as well as each next step, will be easier to focus on and do. Breaking down a large goal into smaller tasks—and accomplishing them one at a time—is the only way a big goal gets achieved.

  Writing this Workbook is an example of a big goal. Even for me, the idea of writing a new book, in addition to all the other work I am doing, can seem overwhelming. But what I have learned over the decades is that no matter how big the goal, breaking it down into bite-size chunks and working on them one at a time makes it so much easier. Here is how I chunked down this goal.

  Goal: Create and Publish The Success Principles Workbook

  Here are the action steps we took to plan the book, write the book proposal to present the idea to my literary agent, and ultimately write this Workbook, and get it published:

  Schedule the book’s production on my annual calendar

  Plan the tentative content of the book as a companion guide to The Success Principles

  Locate my best previous book proposal to use as a template

  Write a compelling summary of the Workbook for the beginning of the proposal

  Create a table of contents for The Success Principles Workbook