Write a brief chapter summary for each proposed chapter

  Update the marketing plan section of the old book proposal

  Update our coauthor biographies

  Submit a draft to my coauthors for their input

  Incorporate their suggestions

  Submit the proposal to my literary agent for her suggestions

  Incorporate her suggested changes

  Submit the proposal to my publisher

  Divide the research, writing, and editing work with my coauthors

  Submit the draft manuscript to the publisher

  Correct the publisher’s queries and finalize the manuscript

  Here is a motto I like to keep in mind when I am working on a big goal:

  Success by the yard is hard; success by the inch is a cinch.

  Another example of a goal that can seem overwhelming is running and completing a marathon. But once you chunk it down and identify smaller goals along the way, it becomes far less intimidating. First, to make it a Breakthrough Goal, select a race and date when you will run. Then break this big goal into smaller steps, or minigoals. Starting with the end in mind: For instance, how many miles do you need to run each month to prepare thoroughly for the race? You could say, “I’m going to run a minimum of three miles a day, six days a week for the first month.” Then you can write down how much you will increase it by each month until you’re ready for running the marathon on Race Day.

  Chunk It Down Using Mind Mapping

  Mind Mapping is a great tool that I use for chunking down my goals. It’s also useful for brainstorming the various steps that will be required to reach your goal. Examples of obvious actions might include the information you’ll need to gather, the people to interview, the skills you’ll need to acquire, any budgets you’ll need to create, as well as the necessary funding you’ll need to obtain. It helps to have a method for brainstorming and organizing the various steps—and mind mapping was designed for generating to-do lists like this.

  Note that Mind Mapping takes a nonlinear approach. That is, instead of trying to first come up with the needed actions in sequential order, it allows you first to think more randomly and yet capture the ideas in a way that you can later turn into a list of sequential action steps.

  Start by taking a look at the example Mind Map below called “Launch My Podcast.” It was created by drawing a large oval in the middle of the page, then writing the intended outcome or goal inside of it. In this case, the goal was to launch a podcast.

  As research was conducted and experts were consulted, major benchmarks or action steps were identified—such as Budget, Marketing, and Funding—and a new spoke and circle were added to the Mind Map for each of these major categories of activity.

  Of course, once these major categories are identified, individual action steps for each category can be researched, investigated, masterminded, discovered by asking, and clarified—and then written onto smaller spokes branching off from each category’s circle.

  The unique advantage of a Mind Map is that it allows you to capture ideas as you think of them—writing them in relation to other items—all without having to make a list in sequential order. Later, you can organize all the action steps into a logical order with beginning and completion dates, which can then be placed into your calendar.

  This Mind Map was created using the online tool at MindMeister.com. Some features are free; others require a fee.

  Now, complete a Mind Map for your own Breakthrough Goal, or another important goal you’ve identified.

  Gather supplies: Have at hand a large sheet of paper and a pen or marker. You can use 8.5" × 11" paper or, if you have access to larger sheets of paper, a flip chart or large whiteboard is even better. With larger paper, you can add additional circles and have more room for branches and action steps. Or you can use a Mind Mapping program like Mindmeister.

  Draw your center circle: In the middle of the page, draw a large circle, like the one in the example above. Make sure it’s large enough for you to write your projected outcome inside of it.

  Write your desired outcome in the circle: In the example above, the outcome is “Launch My Podcast.”

  Draw each outer circle, as needed: As you think of each category of tasks you’ll need to complete in order to accomplish your goal, draw a spoke from the main circle and end it with a new, smaller circle. Write the name of the category inside this smaller circle. Take a look at the example above: these categories of tasks include Budget, Episode Topics, Marketing, Guests, Title, and so on.

  Draw spokes branching out from each new circle: Along each of these individual spokes, write the task to be accomplished. When you’re finished, you will have created a master list of actions to take.

  Transfer each task to a master chart, calendar, or project management software: Organize all action steps into a logical order with beginning and completion dates.

  MAKE-IT-A-HABIT WORKSHEET

  Take Action for Your Success

  You now have the most important action items in your Mind Map. The next step is to schedule them. Select a date when you will start each action and a date by when it will be completed. As an example, this first line was completed using the information from the Mind Map.

  Actions I Will Take I’ll Start By I’ll Finish By Done

  Set a budget for the podcast. Sept. 22 Sept. 30 ✓

  Now it’s your turn. Add action items and dates.

  Actions I Will Take I’ll Start By I’ll Finish By Done

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  THE RULE OF 5

  I learned this powerful lesson when Mark Victor Hansen and I published the very first Chicken Soup for the Soul® book. We interviewed several well-known, bestselling authors to find out what they saw as the “obvious actions” we would need to take to make the book a bestseller. We received an overwhelming list of suggestions. How were we going to implement all of the useful ideas from these experts?

  We decided to seek the advice of Ron Scolastico, a wonderful teacher who taught us a life-changing lesson. He told us, “If you would go every day to a very large tree and take five swings at it with a very sharp ax, eventually, no matter how large the tree, it would have to come down.” How simple and yet how true! From that advice, we developed what we called the Rule of 5. Every day we did at least five specific things that would move us toward reaching our goal of getting Chicken Soup for the Soul® to the top of the New York Times bestseller list. And by applying the Rule of 5, we did it! Not just once, but many times. Each day, we would make five requests for radio interviews or send five review copies to editors who might review the book, or call five network marketing companies to ask them to buy the book as a motivational tool for their salespeople, or call five churches to see if they would sponsor an evening seminar after which we could sell the book at the back of the room. Some days we would simply send out five free copies to influential people listed in The Celebrity Address Book—people such as Harrison Ford, Barbra Streisand, Paul McCartney, and Steven Spielberg. It was a lot of effort—a minimum of five things a day, every day, day in and day out—for more than two years.

  Was it worth it? Yes! The first Chicken Soup book eventually sold more than 10 million copies in 43 languages. That is the power of the Rule of 5.

  MAKE-IT-A-HABIT

  Practice the Rule of 5

  Practice the Rule of 5 with a daily “Top 5 Priority Actions” list. This is the simplest way to ensure that you are taking steady action in the direction of your goals and dreams. This daily list is crucial to planning and organizing the top actions that will have the greatest impact on your success. It will help you to stay focused and spend time only on those tasks that will reap you the greatest rewards—and help you eliminate other time-wasting activities.

  Each evening, use your “Top 5 Priority Actions” list to plan your next day using questions such as:

  What action can I take to move closer to my Breakthrough Goal?

  What needs to happen tomorrow?

  Who should I call?

  What action from my Mind Map do I need to complete?

  Reviewing your “Top 5 Priority Actions” list is an ideal way to start each day, knowing exactly what you should be doing.

  I found the Rule of 5 to be so useful in our company that we printed up our own special Post-It Notes just for this purpose. These 3" × 3" square stickies come in a pad of 365 notes for daily use.*

  Behind every great achievement, you will find a story of a person taking action and then more action. Anyone who wants success has to be willing to pay the price, regarding the time and effort required to achieve success. The people who have gone after and achieved what they have always wanted know that the effort and overcoming obstacles required is only temporary—while the benefits last forever.

  Add to Your Life Success Journal

  Turn to Your Life Success Journal and complete the exercise for this chapter.

  Chapter

  8

  Everything You Want is on the Other Side of Fear*

  I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear.

  NELSON MANDELA

  Former President of South Africa and Nobel Peace Prize Winner

  Whenever you start a new project or pursue your Breakthrough Goal, it’s natural to have considerations, fears, and roadblocks. Considerations are negative thoughts, fears are negative feelings, and roadblocks are actual obstacles in the world you have to address.

  Roadblocks include things like lack of money, lack of support (from your boss, colleagues, and family members), lack of knowledge, lack of connections, lack of free time to work on it, competitors, and other stopping points. These are real things that you have to address and that you may not have total control over. But what you do have control over is your fear, and that is what we’re going to focus on in this chapter. As you move forward on your journey to success, you’ll learn how to confront, to accept, and to overcome your fears.

  Fear is something you’ll most likely experience whenever you go after something significant you want to achieve. It’s important to realize, though, that fear is something you can learn to effectively address so that you can take the actions that are needed to achieve your goals.

  I think [being] fearless is having fears, but jumping anyway.

  TAYLOR SWIFT

  Singer, Songwriter, and Winner of 10 Grammy Awards

  Unfortunately, most people let fear stop them from taking the necessary steps to achieve their dreams. They are afraid they will fail, or lose money, time, reputation (or worse), or experience rejection or embarrassment.

  Successful people, on the other hand, acknowledge their fear along with the rest of us, but they don’t let it keep them from doing anything they want to do—or have to do. They understand that fear is something to be acknowledged, experienced, and either taken along for the ride or totally released. To be successful, you need to learn effective strategies for acknowledging your fears and taking action anyway.

  THE VALUE OF FEAR

  In days when we lived in caves and tribes, fear alerted us to danger, such as the presence of a saber-toothed tiger. Fear gave us a burst of adrenaline to enable us to run away or to fight. That physical reaction of elevated adrenaline was useful back then, but not any longer.

  Fear does have a benefit, however. Think of fear like a yield sign when you are entering a highway. You don’t need to stop—just slow down and pay attention to proceed safely. In the same way, when fear comes up, acknowledge it and pay attention to it. But don’t let it stop you.

  BE REALISTIC ABOUT RISK

  A practical—and often overlooked—strategy for overcoming fear is to make sure you’re not risking more than you can afford to lose.

  To grow and achieve greater success, you have to risk something. Just make sure that you can handle the loss if you don’t succeed the first time. My advice is to begin by taking on one challenge and then working your way up to more and bigger ones.

  If you want to start your own business, but you need a guaranteed income each month to pay your mortgage and stay out of debt, you might want to start by running your business as a side hustle until you have enough clients to quit your day job for good.

  If you’re starting your first job in sales, you can work with an experienced person for a smaller commission as you learn the ropes. If you’re eager to take on new responsibilities at work, start by asking to contribute to existing projects.

  If you want to run a half marathon, start with a neighborhood 5K or 10K run.

  Start taking action, move through your fears, learn new skills, and then take on more significant challenges.

  FEAR IS LEARNED AND CAN BE UNLEARNED

  There are only two fears that are built into your body at birth: the fear of loud noises and the fear of falling backward. Every other fear you have, you learned. Every one of them! That includes any fear of snakes, dogs, spiders, losing face, being embarrassed, talking to a large audience, or the fear of what others might think of you if you have more money than they have. The good news is that since you learned or created every fear you have, you can also unlearn and uncreate them.

  HOW TO UNLEARN FEAR

  The first step in “unlearning” fear is to realize that fear is the result of a visual image you have in your mind of an unpleasant future outcome. You may be familiar with the acronym F.E.A.R.—Fantasized Experience Appearing Real. When you realize that fear is the result of holding a negative image of an unwanted outcome in your head, you can do something about it. Here are a couple of options.

  Option 1: Acknowledge the Fear

  The first step in reducing fear is to become aware and to notice that fear is present. Stop for a moment. No, really—stop what you are doing, and notice the fear.

  You can begin to put some distance between you and the fear by “objectifying” it. Instead of saying I am afraid to yourself, say I am feeling fear. Let’s say you are starting a business and you want to ask someone to use your services. When you are preparing for the conversation and fear comes up, as it likely will the first few times, stop and recognize the fear and say, I am feeling fear. Then breathe.

  Option 2: Feel the Fear

  Another way to reduce fear is to allow yourself to actually feel the fear. This can be uncomfortable, and that is why many people will avoid this discomfort by instead putting off the needed action, or by eating or drinking too much in order to numb out the feeling, or they will get busy doing something other than what they need to do to distract themselves, or they will try to use humor to deflect it, as though it were not really important to them. Men especially don’t like to admit they’re afraid because it goes against their conditioning to not display softer, or what they interpret as weaker or more vulnerable, emotions.

  You can choose to do what successful people do and allow yourself to feel the fear instead of running from it. You can practice this now by thinking of something you are afraid to do. And then simply feel the fear. You can use the following questions to bring your fear more into focus:

  How strong is the fear, on a scale of 1 to 10?

  Where in my body does it feel the strongest? In my chest? In my abdomen? Around my shoulders or neck?

  Is it churning, or flowing, or is it stationary?

  If it had a color, what color would it be?

  If it had a shape, what shape would it be?

  You may find that by simply allowing yourself to feel these physical sensations, the fear will subside enough for you to take the needed action.

  Option 3: Stop Imagining the Negative Outcome

  Once you realize that you are creating the fear in your imagination, you can choose to stop it. Stop imagining the negative outcome you are creating in your mind. If this does not quell the fear enough for you to take the needed action, proceed to Option 4.

  Option 4: Use Mindfulness to Stop Imagining the Negative Outcome

  Another technique to reduce the fear is to bring your attention back to the present moment using mindfulness. (See Chapter 12: Practice Meditation for more information.) With mindfulness, you focus on your breath, and whenever your mind wanders, such as to the imagined negative outcome, you can bring your attention back to the present moment and breathe.

  This process helps you to realize that nothing bad is really happening to you right now in the present moment. In order to create fear, you have to go into the future. When you stay in the present (by practicing mindfulness, for instance), you are fine. Even if someone had a gun pointed at you, in order to feel fear, you would have to picture yourself in the future and imagine they will pull the trigger.

  Option 5: Replace the Scary Image with a New Image

  Another option is to use your imagination for your own benefit instead of against yourself. How? By actively replacing the negative image you are imagining with its opposite, positive image. For example, instead of imagining that I will feel awkward and make a fool of myself if I accept your invitation to dinner, I can imagine going to your house for dinner, with you welcoming me and opening a nice bottle of wine, and then sharing a delicious meal and some great conversation. (You will have the chance to apply this technique in an exercise later in this chapter.)