“If only…”

  Mo laughed. “Read the text. She’s horny and wants you now.”

  Julia felt her heart lift as she read the rest of Reed’s text: Saw you at the beach today. Wanted to say hi but…looked like you were enjoying some time alone. Hope you’re having good dreams.

  “What text did you read, Mo?”

  “The one she wrote between the lines.” Mo got off the bed and picked a nightshirt out of the dresser. “Text her back before I do.”

  Julia stared at the phone for a moment and then texted: Still awake.

  Reed’s reply was instant: Missed you today.

  Julia missed her too. Too much for her own good. She tapped out a quick reply: Want company?

  Julia stared at the text she’d sent. It was too late to take back the words, but she worried Reed would think she was being too forward. “Dammit, Mo. I think I just invited myself over.”

  “Nice going.”

  “No—not nice going. What the hell am I doing? She’s gonna think I’ve been sitting here waiting for her call all night. She’ll think I’m desperate. And horny.”

  “You’re saying one of those things isn’t true?”

  Julia rolled her eyes at Mo.

  Mo laughed. “Relax, sweetie. She’s not gonna think you’re desperate. But she is hoping like hell you’re horny. She couldn’t ask straight up if you wanted to come over because at this time of night we all know there’s only one thing she wants. She opened the door and you chose to walk through. This is how you play the game.”

  “I can’t play this game.” Julia dropped the phone facedown on the nightstand, her heart thumping in her chest. “Who invites themselves over to someone’s place at ten o’clock at night?”

  “Someone who wants the same thing you want. She texted you first. That was your invitation.” The phone buzzed again and before Julia could stop her, Mo picked it up. “Get dressed, honey. Your booty call’s waiting.”

  Julia pulled the phone out of Mo’s hands and stared at Reed’s brief answer. Before she could gather her thoughts or figure out what to put on, another text appeared on the screen.

  You wearing a wraparound? Kidding. Sort of.

  There was a short pause and then:

  Reread that last bit.

  Going to stop texting before I ruin my chances.

  By chances I mean

  Chances at a convo that isn’t awkward

  Not chances of anything more

  Unless that is what you were thinking.

  Mo snagged the phone back. By the time she’d read all of Reed’s texts, she was laughing out loud. “Can I screenshot this and send it to Kate?”

  “Don’t you dare. What should I wear?”

  “Clearly a wraparound. Are you sure I can’t screenshot it?”

  Julia wrested the phone from Mo and went over to the dresser. She sorted through her clothes. Unfortunately, she hadn’t brought any sexy underwear. Only cotton bikini style. The thought of skipping the underwear sent a tremor to a distracting spot. This was crazy—she’d never gone to someone’s place simply for sex. But she wanted Reed so much she could hardly think. Then the nauseating fear rose up inside her. She dropped the underwear back in the drawer. “Mo, I’m terrible in bed. Maybe the worst ever.”

  Mo looked over at her. “What are you talking about?”

  Aside from her exes and her therapist, she hadn’t talked about her sex issues with anyone else. Now she wanted to tell Mo everything in the ridiculous hope Mo could fix what no one else had.

  “I haven’t had sex with anyone since Sheryl and sex with her was a disaster. It wasn’t any better with Emily either. And you should have seen me in bed with Cal—not that you would have wanted to. He was so nice about it, but—”

  “Stop. You’re going to be fine.” Mo paused. “You need to forget about Sheryl and her drama. Forget about the others too. You’re right—I don’t want to know the details. But it doesn’t matter anyway. This time’s gonna be different. Don’t worry about what you’re supposed to do—or what you aren’t supposed to do. Get dressed and go stand in front of Reed looking like your sexy self. Let her take it from there. Trust me—she will.”

  “But you don’t understand. I literally suck in bed. And not in a good way.”

  “Oh, sweetie.” Mo seemed to realize Julia was painfully serious and changed her tone. “Okay, look. I’m gonna tell you a secret. You know what would make any butch’s day? Tell her you’re gonna need some help. Tell her you want her bad but you aren’t good at sex. She’ll make it her personal mission to change that. Then stick to what you know. You’re good at kissing, right? Stick to kissing.”

  Chapter Nine

  Mo was softly snoring by the time Julia came back from the bathroom. She’d decided on the wraparound after all—a new one she’d bought that afternoon. It was too late to ask Mo if she was crazy for skipping the underwear. She grabbed the house key and switched off the bedroom light. Mo’s advice ran round her head. “Tell her you’re gonna need some help.” Hopefully Mo was right and Reed would take over after that.

  Outside, stars lit the clear sky but the night air was still warm. Only the back porch light shone at Reed’s. Julia crossed the lawn between their condos, avoiding the spray of the sprinklers and wondering with every step if she should turn back. Fantasies and a vibrator were always better for her than the reality of sex, but this time her desire for the real thing was overwhelming. She wanted to see Reed naked, wanted to feel her body, wanted to be wrapped in those arms, and yes, she wanted to be fucked. That feeling hadn’t lessened since she’d recognized the urge for what it was last night.

  Reed was leaning in the doorway and Julia’s heart skipped a beat when she spotted her. Tall, lean, tousled hair, and comfortably relaxed. Glasses and all. God, she was handsome.

  Reed raised her hand, a soft smile curving her lips. Julia gathered her courage and picked her way between the pile of pool toys and the lounge chairs crowding the lanai, grateful she had to focus on where she was walking instead of gaping at Reed. She stopped when she was standing only a few feet from her, then worried she’d stepped too close.

  “I swear I’m not drunk,” Reed said. “But I realize those texts I sent made it sound as if I were. I had a beer with dinner—that was it.”

  Julia smiled. “I finished a bottle of wine with Kate tonight so you might be the sober one.”

  “Does that mean you’re up for making bad decisions?” Reed quickly added, “That was totally inappropriate. You don’t have to answer that. I should apologize in advance for the next dumb thing I say. I didn’t get much sleep last night.”

  “You don’t seem like a bad decision.” Julia crossed her arms to stop herself from reaching for Reed. She wanted to kiss her, but she had to think of something to change the subject. Her body was too keyed up. “Up all night with the kids?”

  “No—Bryn went right to sleep after the toast. But then I couldn’t stop thinking about you. And the mistake I’d made sending you home.”

  “Is that an apology?”

  Reed grinned. “Should it be?”

  “Yes.” Julia felt a rush at the look Reed gave her then. It was easy to flirt. But what would happen when she wasn’t as forward later?

  “How’s this: I’m sorry I didn’t sleep with you last night. I really, really wanted to.”

  “Not bad for starters.”

  Reed’s eyes traveled up and down Julia’s body. Her desire was obvious, and Julia couldn’t wait for her to reach for her. She knew it was coming, knew by the muscle flex in Reed’s forearm how much those hands wanted to be on her. The space between them was filled with a heat that made it hard to breathe, hard to swallow, and impossibly hard to hold Reed’s eyes. Her body was practically begging her to step forward.

  “I spent all day thinking about how much I wanted to kiss you again. When I saw you on the beach…” Reed’s voice trailed. “I wondered if you regretted the direction things went last night.”

  “I don’t regret kissing you.” She did, however, regret going back to the condo especially now that she knew Bryn had gone right to bed. But she didn’t want to admit she was the type to regret not sleeping with someone. She’d never been that person.

  Reed touched Julia’s elbow, sending shockwaves to points that shouldn’t be connected to an arm at all. Her warm fingertips slid gently up to Julia’s shoulder.

  “This time don’t leave if the kids wake up. I’ll get them back to sleep.”

  Julia nodded. She’d agree to anything with Reed’s hand on her bare arm. She waited, hoping. When Reed’s hand slid behind her neck, she closed her eyes. Lips met hers and she moved with Reed’s lead. The feel of Reed’s hand, holding her in place, wasn’t something she wanted to fight. Instead she wanted to give in. She’d been wanting this all day.

  When they parted, Reed’s expression was almost bashful—as if she’d taken liberties that weren’t hers to take. She rubbed her lips. “Uh, do you want to come inside and talk?”

  “We could do that,” Julia said.

  Reed glanced over her shoulder at the mess that was the living room. A puzzle had been overturned and magazines with pictures of beaches were spread out like a carpet.

  “I probably should have cleaned up…”

  “It’s okay. I don’t really want to talk,” Julia said.

  Reed met her eyes, a half-smile on her lips. “Oh, really? Why not?”

  “It’s not that I don’t like talking to you,” Julia added. “But I have other things on my mind.” She wasn’t sure where this person had come from—this version of her that could stand in front of a handsome butch and basically admit she wanted sex—but it was a thrill all the same. She didn’t have time to temper her request. Reed had caught her hand and pulled her through the doorway. As Reed brought her closer, Julia felt her knees go weak.

  She kissed her hard. Julia parted her lips, wanting to give Reed the opportunity for a deeper kiss, and as her breasts brushed against Reed’s chest, she savored the feel of Reed’s body against hers. Another kiss and then another. She was already wet and if Reed kept this up, she’d have trouble standing. But she didn’t want her to stop kissing her anytime soon.

  Reed let up only to close the screen door and then the blinds. She pushed aside a few magazines to clear a path through the living room, keeping hold of Julia’s hand as she did this.

  When they passed the kitchen table, Reed seemed to remember her manners and said, “I should get you a drink, shouldn’t I? Do you want something?”

  Julia shook her head. Reed was as ready for this as she was. She wondered when she should tell her the one problem in their plan. Before she could speak up, Reed’s mouth was on her lips with another kiss. This was exactly how she wanted it to go—all reflex on her part as Reed took charge. Every part of her was telling her to keep giving in to whatever Reed wanted. Reed’s hand moved down her back, over the thin material of the sarong, and then settled on her hip.

  “You feel so good,” Reed murmured. “Tell me if you want me to slow down.” She kissed her again, pushing the sarong up Julia’s thighs. “’Cause if you don’t say anything…”

  She didn’t want to slow down. The worry of one of the twins waking briefly crossed her mind, but then Reed was pulling her into the master bedroom and she forgot about the kids. Reed closed the door and then held her gaze for a moment.

  Julia gasped as Reed moved against her, pushing her back against the wall as she moved the bottom of the sarong up to her hips. When Reed pressed against her, murmuring her appreciation of the fact she’d left off the underwear, Julia felt a thrill that was nearly as good as an orgasm. Nearly.

  Reed’s hands moved up and down her thighs, pushing the sarong whichever way she pleased. She kissed her again, more demanding now of Julia’s lips. Her tongue pressed inside just enough to nudge at Julia’s. Mo’s advice to stick to kissing echoed in Julia’s mind. “I’m not that great at this,” she managed. “Actually I’m terrible.”

  Reed kissed the curve of her neck. “At what exactly?”

  Shit. She needed to be upfront, but she hated admitting it. “At sex. I really want it but…I need you to do everything.”

  “Everything?” Reed’s voice let on her pleasure at the request. “That’s an option?” She chuckled. When Julia didn’t respond to her attempt at banter, she murmured, “I got you.”

  Julia felt her body relax. It was as if something bound up in her chest unlaced on its own accord. She closed her eyes, kissing Reed back when her lips lingered near hers.

  Instead of her hands going to the places Julia wanted to feel them, Reed held onto the wraparound. She had a section of it taut and the material moved over Julia’s butt and up her backside, sending a delicious shiver through her body. She didn’t want the material on her skin—she wanted Reed’s hands. But Reed seemed to know exactly what she was doing and didn’t appear to care if she was making the wait agonizing. Finally she ran one hand up the inside of Julia’s thigh, stopping only when she got to her center.

  For a moment, Julia felt a pulse of uncertainty. This was always when she froze—when it was clear the encounter was going beyond a make-out session. Reed was much stronger than she was, could do what she wanted, but Julia knew if she said anything, the hand that was pinning her would drop off instantly. Her breath quickened as Reed undid the knot of her sarong. This was happening. The material dropped to the ground and then Reed’s tongue swiped over each nipple, making them harden with desire. There was no questioning what her body wanted.

  “That feels good…really good…but…” Damn it. Why was she talking at all? She was going to mess everything up.

  “But?”

  Julia squeezed her eyes closed. She didn’t want to stop. She definitely didn’t want to talk. She wanted to be normal and enjoy it.

  Reed had straightened up and now gently cupped Julia’s chin. She tilted it up so their gaze met. “Can you tell me?”

  Julia shook her head. She closed her eyes again. This is where she’d stopped Cal. She could hear him tenderly asking if it was because she wanted to be with a woman instead. This was where Emily had wondered if she didn’t love her enough. God, that wasn’t it, but it still hurt knowing the pain she’d caused. And this was where Sheryl had called her cold. “You need professional help,” she’d said. “You need to deal with your issues.” Issues. She’d tried that but counseling hadn’t fixed her.

  Reed’s hand traced the curve of her neck to her shoulder. Soft fingers played down the length of her arm. Then Reed clasped her hand. Julia looked down at their entwined fingers. She could sense the desire moving like a current through Reed, barely contained. Reed wanted this. Wanted her.

  “I want you to fuck me,” she breathed out. The words were hardly more than a whisper, but she knew by the change of Reed’s grip that she’d heard her. “But I might stop you again. Before we get all the way.”

  “Okay.”

  That was it? “Okay”? Julia wanted to insist that she was going to screw this up. That Reed was going to be disappointed. Clearly she didn’t understand.

  But Reed kissed her before she had time to plan out her next sentence. “Stick to kissing,” she heard Mo say again.

  Kiss after kiss distracted her as they moved closer to the bed. Reed’s clothing, a button-down, short-sleeved cotton shirt and a pair of canvas shorts, were rough against her skin. She wanted Reed naked, but every time she fumbled with the buttons, Reed found her lips again. She knew she wouldn’t be able to please Reed anyway. Tonight she needed a stone butch who wanted to fuck her until she couldn’t move and she desperately hoped Reed understood that. Hopefully Mo would be right and the only satisfaction Reed would need would be getting Julia off.

  Reed pulled down the bedsheets when they bumped against the bed. One hand stayed on Julia’s hip while she pushed the extra pillows off and then a moment later, she was moving them both to the mattress.

  Julia sucked in a breath and Reed whispered, “Remember I got you,” as her hands moved up from her hips to her neck and then down to massage her breasts. Reed tugged a nipple until it was swollen and tender, then she let go of it and shifted between Julia’s legs. She was still dressed.

  “I want you naked,” Julia said. She heard the whine in her voice, noticed Reed’s reaction, a guilty smile, and realized she wasn’t going to get that unless she worked for what she wanted.

  Intent on accomplishing that, Julia started in earnest at undoing Reed’s buttons, realizing as she did so that she appreciated it all the more because this distracted her from what was coming next. She managed to get the first few undone before Reed shifted away from her. Reed had moved lower, kissing her way down Julia’s chest and then past her belly. Her face dropped out of sight, and soon Julia was staring at only tousled brown hair. She shuddered as Reed’s tongue slid along the inside of her thigh.

  Reed found her swollen, wet clit and pressed hard with her tongue. Julia couldn’t contain the sound that slipped out of her, part moan, part hungry cry. Then she remembered the kids in the room next to theirs. She bit her lip. Staying quiet was going to be a whole separate challenge.

  Reed pinned her hips and slipped a finger inside. She gasped and had to stop herself from reaching for Reed’s hand. Relax. You want this. She did want it. Desperately.

  What was more, she knew Reed was enjoying her body. Reed didn’t hide her soft low sounds of desire. Closing her eyes, she willed her mind to focus on how good Reed felt and how good her own body felt. She was dripping wet and Reed knew just how to touch her.

  Julia whimpered softly when Reed’s finger slid out. She waited, hoping Reed would push in again and then looked down to see Reed staring up at her. Reed drew a wet line down the inside of her thigh and then up again, making a wide circle around the place Julia wanted her to touch.

  “You feel so good,” Reed said, drawing out the words. Her hand moved down Julia’s other thigh. “I need you to stop me if I do anything you don’t want.”

  Julia pushed her hips up, hoping that was enough answer. She didn’t want to stop Reed from doing anything.