“Obviously.” Kate rolled her eyes, but a smile edged her lips. She looked over at Julia. “I hear Reed’s been texting you too.”

  Julia nodded. She hadn’t mentioned it to Kate, but she had known Mo would say something sooner or later.

  “And?” Kate pressed.

  “And nothing. Part of me knows I should block her number. But I can’t bring myself to do it.” Reed had been texting Julia daily for the past few weeks. Often it was a funny or sweet thing the kids had done, but sometimes it was only one line—“thinking of you.”

  Julia knew better than to respond, but one night she broke down and sent a smiling emoji back when Reed relayed a conversation she’d had over dinner with the kids. Then the phone calls came—Carly wanted to wish her “sweet dreams,” and then Bryn wanted to check in on the snails in the garden.

  Once Reed had called. She started with: “If you want me to stop texting, I will. And if phone calls are crossing the line, tell me. But Mo says there might be a slim chance you don’t hate me.”

  Mo and Reed had patched things up and become fast friends. They’d met up to take the kids to matinees more than once and even all gone fishing—something Julia had trouble not being jealous about when she learned of it after the fact. Despite this and the phone calls, every time Mo asked if Julia was interested in meeting up with Reed, her answer was always the same. She wasn’t ready to be Reed’s friend.

  Unfortunately, she didn’t hate her. The problem was she still wanted her too much. She’d even let her heart wonder if there was a chance of getting back together again. But for that to happen, she’d need to know it wasn’t a game this time. How Reed could prove that, she wasn’t sure, but texts and phone calls weren’t enough. As it stood, she couldn’t think of dating anyone else, but she was in a limbo land with her feelings on Reed.

  The doorbell rang and Julia guessed someone had pressed the wrong apartment number. Mo, however, jumped up and went to hit the buzzer without even asking who was there.

  “Expecting someone?”

  “Yeah. Pizza delivery guy.”

  “Wait, you ordered pizza?” Julia glanced down at the dress she was wearing and then looked over at Kate, also dressed as if she were ready for a black-tie dinner. She’d been expecting Mo to change clothes but maybe she wasn’t planning on it.

  “You know Mo,” Kate said. “She doesn’t think you get enough food at the trendy expensive places.”

  “But we are still going, right?”

  “Sure. I just like to have a backup plan,” Mo said, reaching for her wallet. She went to the door and was ready to hand over cash when the pizza guy knocked.

  Julia shook her head when she carried not one, but two pizza boxes to the kitchen. “Mo, I know you lift weights, but how many calories can you eat? It’s not fair that you never gain any weight.”

  “They had a buy one-get one free offer,” Mo explained. “I figure I’ll be set for lunches this week.”

  When a second knock came at the door only a moment after the pizza guy had left, Julia assumed Mo hadn’t paid the right amount, but Mo, who was on her phone, only shrugged, and Kate waved her hand toward the bathroom, indicating she needed to visit it. Julia tried not to be miffed as she went to open the door.

  Her breath caught in her chest when she saw Reed on the landing. What the hell was she doing here?

  “Hi.” Reed gave her a sheepish smile. She was wearing a suit and holding a pallet of marigolds. Over a dozen plants were squeezed onto the huge tray.

  Julia looked up from the flowers to find Reed’s eyes waiting for hers. She shook her head but before she could think of what to say, Bryn shot past Reed to hug her leg. After a quick squeeze, she made a mad dash for Mo, shrilly calling, “Aunt Mo!”

  Julia glanced from Mo, who was swinging Bryn in a circle, to Reed. Finally her throat seemed to loosen. “Why are you here?” The words sounded harsher than she’d intended and Reed’s brow furrowed in response.

  Carly peeked out from behind Reed’s legs. “Mom’s surprising you with flowers.”

  Julia opened and closed her mouth. She didn’t know what to say. Her heart was thumping in her chest, and God, Reed was handsome in a suit. But this was not supposed to be happening.

  “We also brought chocolates,” Carly added, coming forward to hand Julia a box of chocolate-covered macadamia nuts. “Aunt Mo said we might need an emergency plan.”

  “Contingency plan,” Mo said. She leaned around Julia. “But that was before I knew about the cheesecake. Carly, come help us pick out our movie.”

  Carly stepped out from behind Reed and, then exactly as Bryn had done, hugged Julia’s leg. She held on for a long time, and when she looked up at Julia she said softly, “I missed you.”

  Julia choked up instantly, but Carly let go and ran to join Mo and Bryn on the sofa. Kate came out to the living room then and started chatting with the kids about movie options. She held up the DVDs she’d bought. Three cartoon movies.

  “They were both in on this and I had no idea,” Julia said, realizing it only in that moment.

  “I needed some help. And a babysitter.” Reed’s smile was tentative. For the first time, she looked truly nervous.

  Julia could tell Reed was putting everything on the line. How could she send her away now? She didn’t want to but…

  Reed continued, “I was wondering if you’d like to go out to dinner with me. I heard there was this great new restaurant a few blocks from here. Interested?”

  Julia held her breath. She wanted to throw her arms around Reed and not have to bother with talking. But she had to keep the lines clear in her head and not take a step closer.

  “And if that answer is yes, would you like to go on a hot air balloon ride tomorrow morning at six a.m?” Reed paused. “I know it’s early, but I have a hotel room reserved in Napa near the launch spot. They’ll wake us up and give us a ride right to the balloon.” She shifted the tray of marigolds, balancing them on one arm, and then pulled out a brochure with a picture of a hot air balloon soaring over a vineyard.

  Julia took the brochure. “You’re scared of heights.”

  “I’m scared of a lot of things,” Reed said.

  Stalling, Julia pointed to the plastic container squished in amongst the flowers. “What’s that?”

  “A snail transporter.” Reed set the tray of flowers down and pulled out the plastic container. A single leaf of kale sat at the bottom of a Tupperware container with holes punched in the top lid. “Bryn made me build a garden bed in the backyard for your snails. She wanted me to make them a little car so they could drive up to Davis, but I told her this might work.”

  Julia cracked a smile. “I love that you’ll do anything for them.”

  “I’d do anything for you too.” Reed caught her gaze.

  If only she could trust that Reed meant what she said…Part of her desperately longed to go to Napa, regardless of what happened afterward. And part of her knew it was a mistake.

  Tears pushed at the corner of her eyes, and she quickly looked up to keep them from falling. She stared at the cracks in the wood along the top of the doorjamb, determined Reed wouldn’t see her cry. Dammit. She couldn’t do this again. “I’m not sure Napa’s a good idea.”

  Reed was quiet for a long moment. Finally she said, “Will you have dinner with me anyway?”

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  Their conversation over dinner covered everything from Bryn kissing a kid in daycare to Julia’s new client who’d sent her a troll as a thank-you. Every time Reed laughed Julia felt a warmth spread through her. She knew Reed was nervous and the laughter was her defense, but it was something she’d so missed hearing that she couldn’t help joining in.

  Sitting across from Reed and not having touched her yet was painful. She longed at least to clasp her hand. But any touching was a bad idea until she figured out the mess of feelings fighting a battle in her head. There was a certain distance that hadn’t been crossed and things that were waiting to be said. Until that happened, she couldn’t touch Reed. Still she watched her lips as she talked and the unsettling desire to kiss her was impossible to ignore.

  With Reed finally in the same room with her and, for once, no distractions, some things were clear. She wasn’t mad at her. That emotion, which had been so strong before, had completely evaporated. But she wasn’t ready to open up and trust her with her heart either. Cautious—that was a good description.

  Except she didn’t feel cautious when Reed’s eyes met hers, when her hand brushed Reed’s as she was setting her empty wineglass down at the same moment Reed was reaching for the check and then again as they were leaving when she cut a corner too close skirting the crowd in the waiting lounge and ended up bumping into Reed’s chest. Reed was a magnet then and all she wanted to do was lean in. She could think later.

  They stepped out of the restaurant and the cool evening air cleared Julia’s head. She needed to figure out what to do next. Saying yes to dinner was one thing, but Napa…

  Reed caught her hand. Her grip was warm and sure, and Julia couldn’t ignore the tingling sensation that shot from their clasped hands up to her chest. Everything about Reed felt too right. A passing car honked at them and Reed only looked over at Julia and shrugged. She didn’t let go.

  They held hands all the way to the parking garage. Reed opened Julia’s door and then went around to her side. When she’d settled into the driver’s seat, she turned on the ignition and then switched it off again.

  “I wasn’t sure what you were going to say when I showed up tonight,” Reed started. “I thought maybe you would tell me to leave as soon as I got there. The last time we were at your apartment…I could tell you didn’t want me there.”

  “Actually I wanted to pretend I’d never met you.”

  “Ouch.” Reed’s jaw clenched.

  “By the way, you broke my heart. Did you miss that text?” Julia laughed, trying to prove at least to herself that she could joke about it, but the tone was flat and Reed had never looked more somber. She exhaled, knowing the next part was going to be hard. “I was pissed but only part of that was your fault. Mostly I was upset that I’d let you get close when you could toss me aside that easily.”

  When Reed tried to speak up, Julia cut her off: “And unfortunately, I couldn’t just be mad at you because I was in love with you. So, yeah. It sucked.”

  She hadn’t planned on admitting the part about loving Reed, but once it was out there, she didn’t want to take it back. At least she’d used the past tense.

  Reed seemed to wait for Julia to say more, and when she didn’t, she said, “I could explain all the things that were going on in my head, but it wouldn’t make what I did any less shitty. I’m sorry.” She looked over at Julia. “I probably don’t deserve a second chance, do I?”

  “Probably not.” Julia held onto her gaze. No one had ever been able to look straight into her heart like Reed could do and being close to Reed again made her realize how alive she felt with her, how her whole body seemed to buzz. She didn’t want to move even a few inches away. Despite everything she’d said, she knew that meant something. She wanted to give Reed another chance.

  “Do you want me to drive you home?”

  “No. I want you to take me to Napa.”

  “So you’re open to dating again?” Reed sounded surprised but happy.

  “I didn’t say that. And we weren’t dating, remember?”

  “I don’t know if it’s a good idea for us to go to Napa,” Reed said.

  “Why not? Worried we won’t be able to be in the same room without having sex?”

  Reed shrugged. “Well, yeah.”

  “It wouldn’t have to mean anything.” Julia tried to keep her voice balanced. “We’ve had sex before without it meaning anything.”

  “I don’t think that’s—”

  “Relax,” Julia interrupted. “I’m not even sure I want to kiss you. But the more I think about it, the more I realize I don’t want to let you off the hook on that hot air balloon ride.”

  “Okay. That’s fair.”

  Reed’s smile was perfect, and Julia felt something shift between them when she smiled back. “You know you told me once that you’d never show up on my doorstep with flowers.”

  “Mo said I was crazy, but I had to try.”

  “You were nervous.”

  “Yeah…well…” Reed paused. “I still am. It’s been a long time since I’ve tried to date someone—really date. I don’t want a hookup with you. I want something serious.”

  “So you decide to take me out to dinner and then to a hotel as a first real date? You might need a brush up on dating rules.”

  “I didn’t think it all the way through, I guess.” Reed paused. “It was more the hot air balloon ride that I was planning…We don’t have to have sex. Obviously.”

  “You think we’re going to go to a hotel room and keep our pajamas on?” Julia shook her head. She couldn’t imagine keeping her clothes on with Reed lying next to her, and she knew the limits of Reed’s self-control.

  “We could try and be friends first. Then if more happens down the line…”

  “Friends first? We blew past that months ago.”

  “But we could start over fresh.”

  Julia eyed the parked car next to them. Being in close quarters with Reed was hard enough in a car. The hotel room wasn’t going to work. “I can’t be just friends with you.”

  “Why not? I think we’re doing okay so far,” Reed said.

  Julia turned halfway in her seat and set her hand on Reed’s knee. As she slid it up Reed’s thigh, she held her gaze, knowing exactly what she was doing to her. Reed groaned when she inched close to her center.

  “Still think we can be friends?” Julia asked softly.

  When Julia reached for her zipper, Reed caught her hand. Their eyes locked and Julia felt suddenly exposed. She was certain Reed was about to call her bluff. Before Reed could say anything, she pulled her hand away and sank back in her seat. She’d intended to make Reed uncomfortable, but she hadn’t expected the effect she’d have on her own body. Her hands were shaking and she hid them against her legs, hoping Reed wouldn’t notice.

  “I want you in my life,” Reed said. “If there’s a chance that you want that too…I’m willing to do whatever it takes. But this needs to be about more than sex.”

  “What if I only want sex?” Julia argued. “Maybe I don’t want a relationship anymore.”

  “I can’t have sex with you and pretend it isn’t more,” Reed said. “Not now.”

  “You could. It doesn’t feel great, but you could do it.”

  Reed’s jaw clenched again and Julia thought of all the times she’d whispered “I love you” after Reed had fallen asleep. Or the times she’d silently breathed the words after they’d shared a climax. Reed hadn’t heard her but the truth was there. For her, they’d been making love every time.

  Reed exhaled. “I know I screwed up from the beginning. I wish we could go back and—”

  “I don’t want to sit in a parking garage talking,” Julia said, cutting her off. What she really didn’t want was to start crying. Not now. “Can you get us out of here?”

  Julia could feel Reed’s gaze on her, but she stared out the window and a silence stretched between them. Finally Reed started the car. The truth was, she wanted to talk. She wanted to figure everything out. But she needed Reed’s arms around her, needed to feel what she wasn’t saying. She didn’t trust her words yet.

  When they’d merged onto the highway and shifted into the fast lane, Julia took Reed’s hand off the gear stick and brought it to rest on her thigh. The warmth of Reed’s palm pressed through the thin material of her dress.

  “You’re going to make it hard to concentrate on the drive,” Reed said quietly.

  “I have no intentions of making tonight easy for you.”

  Reed chuckled. “Well, that’s deserved.”

  But Reed wasn’t the only one who had trouble concentrating on the road. After a while, Julia hardly noticed anything outside their car. The cars they passed, the gathering darkness, the changing scenery, all was a blur. She ran through all the reasons she should keep her clothes on, but then there was Reed’s hand, reminding her of all the reasons she wanted to give in. By the time they finally got to the hotel, she was wet with anticipation and more uncertain than she’d been at the start of the drive that she should be in Napa at all.

  The check-in process with a talkative innkeeper only made things worse. Standing close to Reed without touching her was torture. She wanted Reed to kiss her, but there’d been no move that direction and only an uncomfortable silence that she was responsible for.

  They took the stairs up the one flight and then walked down the hall to their room. It was a boutique hotel with only a few dozen rooms and the innkeeper walked them right to their door. After he’d gone, Reed carried in their overnight bags and then called Mo to check in on the girls—both had fallen asleep watching the second movie.

  Julia sorted through the overnight bag that Kate had managed to pack without her noticing. She still couldn’t believe they’d planned all this…She spotted a new lingerie set and wondered if that had been Mo’s idea or Kate’s. When Reed looked her direction, she buried the black silk under a pair of jeans.

  “Want to check out the balcony?” Reed said. “According to the website, every room has a view of the stars.”

  Julia followed her, missing her coat as soon as the night air met her skin. Reed noticed and stepped close. When Reed wrapped her arms around her, Julia leaned back against her. She breathed in Reed’s scent. God, she loved that smell. Reed’s arms held her tight—as if she didn’t want to let go. It wasn’t fair how good it felt being close to her.

  “Well, they’re right,” Julia said. “No shortage of stars.”

  “I’ve missed this.”

  “No stars in Davis?” Julia knew that wasn’t what Reed meant, but she needed to keep things light.

  “I meant I missed holding you,” Reed clarified.

  “You have no idea how many times I had to stop myself from driving up to see you,” Julia admitted. “One time I made it all the way to your freeway exit before I turned around. Then I decided that I was going to get over you. Somehow.”