A day-long field trip with two four-year-olds. Julia knew she might be crazy, but she wanted to say yes so much that her brain was screaming the word. Sounding coolly ambivalent was a stretch. “When are you thinking of going?”

  “Tomorrow morning. If you haven’t been over to the rainy side of the island, the waterfalls are amazing…But no pressure. I won’t blame you at all if you say no—four-year-olds can be terrors on car rides.”

  “Actually it sounds fun. And the drive will keep me off my ankle.” She’d already told Mo and Kate that she wouldn’t be joining them at their surfing lesson tomorrow, but she didn’t have a good excuse for not going down to the beach to watch. Now she did.

  “Really?” The happy surprise in Reed’s voice made Julia smile even more.

  “Really. I can’t wait.”

  “Me neither,” Reed said. “That was easier than I thought it’d be. I should let my kids ask women out for me more often.” She chuckled. “For field trips, that is.”

  “I’ll see you tomorrow. For our non-date.”

  “Perfect.”

  Julia ended the call and went straight to her room. Picking out what to wear often calmed her nerves and she needed all the help she could get at the moment. With Reed’s kids in tow, she didn’t want anything sexy, but the right outfit might make Reed wish they were actually going on a date. Although the good thing about a field trip with kids meant she could relax. There was no danger of anything intimate happening. Even if part of her wanted it to.

  Chapter Six

  “No one has to pee, right?” Reed finished fastening the last buckle on Carly’s seat. “’Cause this is your last chance for the next hour and a half.” When she looked up, she caught Julia’s eye in the rearview mirror.

  The drive across the island was only an hour and a half, but then the plan was to go up the coast with stops along the way to find waterfalls. They were going to be stuck in the car for the better part of the day. Julia wasn’t worried about the four-year-olds so much as herself. Given how many hours she’d spent last night fantasizing about Reed, the driver’s seat was a little too close to the passenger seat.

  She’d enjoyed one particular fantasy over and over again last night and now as Reed looked at her, everything she’d imagined seemed exposed. She swallowed. Reed was still holding her gaze in the mirror and she couldn’t look away…

  “It’s not too late to change your mind,” Reed said.

  “I’m not changing my mind.” That much was certain. She’d had the funny sense all morning that she was meant to go on this car ride. Forcing a smile and a light tone, she said, “I want to see some waterfalls.”

  “Me too,” Bryn said. “Julia, did you know that this car only plays Hawaiian music?”

  Reed settled into the driver’s seat. As she buckled her seat belt she said, “Bryn wanted to play kids’ music off my phone. Her favorite song is the Hokey Pokey with a close second being the Chicken Dance. We usually play the same album over and over again.”

  “That sounds like a party.”

  “Exactly.” Reed’s sarcasm was subtle. “Unfortunately, I can’t hook my phone up to this car’s stereo.”

  “What a shame. I’m sorry I’ll have to miss those songs.”

  “You can come over to our condo later and I can play them for you,” Bryn said. “I know how to use Mom’s phone. You could even spend the night. Mom has a really big bed.”

  Reed looked in the rearview mirror, avoiding Julia’s eyes as she said: “So, who wants to go see waterfalls?” Her blush was obvious though she was trying to hide it by focusing on backing the car out of the parking place. Thank God she was the one blushing—Julia’s thoughts had gone straight to the image of an oversized bed with Reed lying relaxed in the middle of it waiting…

  The kids banded together in a shouting match of “me’s” and then Reed switched on the radio. Hawaiian music calmed the kids for about a second before they were back to shouting. This time the shouting match was about who could climb waterfalls.

  They pulled out of the resort parking lot and Reed glanced over at Julia. “You’re stuck with us now.”

  “I love road trips.” The uncertain feeling in Julia’s stomach had given way to excitement. “But I have to admit, this one’s noisier than what I’m used to.”

  “They’ll quiet down in a bit.” The kids made loud dolphin squawking noises in the backseat as they battered each other with two stuffed dolphins and Reed added, “Hopefully.”

  “Don’t worry. I’ll get used to it.”

  “Can the dolphins be a little quieter back there?” Reed asked. “I think there’s a shark around here and we don’t want to get caught.”

  The noise immediately turned to whispers and Reed held up crossed fingers. “I love road trips too. Long drives feel kind of freeing, you know? No work to get to, no one expecting you anywhere…The summer before Bryn and Carly were born I drove from California to Boston to deliver a desk. It was one of the best vacations I’ve ever taken.”

  “California to Boston? That’s a long drive to deliver a desk. Must have been a nice desk.”

  “It was more about the woman who wanted the desk. Unfortunately, it turned out she was more interested in the desk than she was in me.”

  “Ouch.”

  “Yeah. It was a long way to drive to get dumped.” Reed slowed to a stop to let a pedestrian cross. “But the road trip was exactly what I needed. And she wasn’t into kids so it probably was a good thing we broke up when we did. We’d been together for three years and she wanted me to move to Boston.” Reed pulled onto the main highway and then said, “We’re still friends. I give her a bad time about that desk whenever I think of it. I call it the break-up desk.”

  Julia wanted to ask if there’d been a girlfriend after that or, more to the point, if there was another parent in the picture, but she didn’t want to seem nosy. If there was an ex-wife, the relationship must have been hot and heavy for them to decide to have kids that fast after Reed had gotten out of a three-year relationship.

  When Julia didn’t ask anything more, Reed said, “What’s one of your favorite vacations?”

  Julia thought for a moment. She knew the answer, but she wasn’t sure it was a good thing to bring up. “After college, I went to Paris for two weeks with a friend. Well, a girlfriend.” She paused. She was breaking her own rules by mentioning an ex-girlfriend. But she wasn’t technically on a date with Reed. “It was the best vacation—but it was also the worst.”

  “What made it the best?”

  She shook her head. “I know we aren’t on a date, but I feel funny talking about an ex. I mean, you did it first, but…”

  “Would this be a weird date? Dolphins that talk and arguing four-year-olds aren’t the typical atmosphere for dates you’ve been on?” Reed smiled, glancing at the backseat. The stuffed dolphins were still on the lookout for sharks. “For the record, I don’t usually bring my kids on dates. Or talk about exes.”

  Julia tried to gather her thoughts before she said something she’d regret. She wished she could take back what she’d said about this not being a date. “Actually this would be a nice date. Way better than a lot of past dates, in fact.”

  “Probably because we aren’t really on a date. Which is why we can talk about anything we want—including all of our crazy exes.” Reed winked.

  “I think I’ve been the crazy one in my past relationships,” Julia admitted.

  Reed shook her head. “I’m not buying that. And you do realize that I’m not letting you off the hook about Paris, right?”

  “I should have lied and told you that my favorite trip was the time I went backpacking in Yosemite. Alone.”

  “Too late. What happened in Paris?”

  Julia instantly pictured the café where she’d had the fight with Emily. Yet she’d been so happy before the café. “The first couple days we spent roaming the streets and just taking it all in. I felt like we were in a scene from a movie. We stayed up late drinking wine and ate croissants for breakfast every morning…We went to this little cinema and watched French movies. I don’t speak any French and I had no idea what any of the movies were about. But it was fabulous. If I could, I’d stop the memory there.”

  “Croissants for breakfast every morning and roaming the City of Light?” Reed met her eyes. “Sounds perfect. Maybe the memory can stop there.”

  But it didn’t. All the hours of fighting burst from Julia’s memory. Those first few days they’d pretended that everything was fine. Then Emily had asked if they could try having sex again. It wasn’t Emily’s fault. All along Emily had tried to be patient…That’s what made it worse. They’d gone to Paris to repair a fatally damaged relationship, but the change in scenery couldn’t fix the problem. Julia wasn’t even certain what was wrong with her—only that as much as she loved Emily, she didn’t want more than a kiss or a casual embrace.

  Reed had turned her attention back to the road, leaving Julia alone with her thoughts. She stared out the window at the passing field of lava rock. For years, she’d refused to think about Paris. She’d tossed the photos she’d taken of Emily, along with every other picture she’d taken on that trip. She even threw out the ticket stubs from the movies they’d watched in the old cinema. The bad memories had tainted the good ones. Now she wondered if she could ever separate them.

  “Those first three days in Paris were perfect. Definitely my favorite vacation.” A moment later she added, “I need to go on more vacations. This is the first vacation I’ve had in five years. Most of the time I even stay home when there’s a long weekend so I can catch up on work…”

  “What would be a perfect long weekend?” Reed asked.

  Julia considered the question for a minute. “I like new adventures. Maybe a drive down the coast to check out a town I’ve never been to. Or snowshoeing in the mountains. Or a hot air balloon ride.”

  “Wait, what?” Reed shook her head. “I was with you up until the hot air balloon. Those things go way too high. Plus there’s no engine. You’re trusting your life to a gust of wind and someone who’s probably taken a summer course on aviation safety. If something goes wrong, you can’t even control how you crash.”

  “How do you really feel?” Julia laughed, surprised by Reed’s strong response. “Is it a control thing or are you scared of heights?”

  Reed hesitated. “Since this isn’t a date…we can be honest, right? I’m a control freak—total top—and I have a ridiculous fear of heights.”

  Total top? Had Reed seriously just admitted that? Julia felt a stirring between her legs she tried to ignore. At least the part of last night’s fantasy when Reed had ordered her onto her knees wasn’t completely far-fetched. “I’m not surprised that you’re a top.”

  Reed chuckled. “That obvious, huh? What about you?”

  “Uh, I don’t think I have a category. Definitely not a top.” She needed to change the subject. “So, how bad is your fear of heights?”

  “Pretty bad. Don’t tell me you live in a tall building?”

  “Fortunately, no.” She quickly added, “I hate stairs. Would you end things if you started dating someone who lived in a skyscraper?”

  “Dealbreaker.” Reed laughed. “Usually this stuff comes up in later conversations. I’m glad we’re getting it all out in the open now.”

  “Before anything happens?” Julia couldn’t believe the words had slipped out, but it was too late to take them back. She felt the flush go up her neck and avoided Reed’s gaze, pretending instead to be suddenly fascinated with the view of the passing lava field. What was she playing at? Their bantering reminded her of conversations with Mo, but she wasn’t only joking like she did with Mo. She wanted Reed’s reaction. But what would happen if Reed wanted more in return?

  At the stop sign, Julia dared to look over at Reed. The rush that went through her was overpowering. How was she going to get through the rest of the day pretending she wasn’t wet at the thought of Reed’s touch?

  Feeling reckless, Julia asked, “Remind me again why you’re single?”

  “Everything changed when they came along,” Reed admitted, a serious note in her voice.

  “When are we going to see a waterfall?” Bryn asked.

  Reed switched on the radio. “In about an hour. Tell me if you see a goat.”

  “A goat?”

  The search for goats proved more entertaining than Julia expected and certainly distracted her from worrying about how much she wanted to feel Reed. Carly turned out to be the best at spotting the scraggly nomads. They seemed to pop up out of the lava rocks without warning, but the more Julia focused on finding them, the more detail she began to see in an otherwise desolate black moonscape. Soon the lava fields gave way to rolling hills and grassland and then a lush landscape of palms and flowering trees.

  Reed pulled off the highway before they descended into Hilo. She drove down a winding, narrow, side road while leading a game of Twenty Questions, and Julia had the distinct feeling that wherever she was taking them, she’d been there before.

  When a small green sign depicting a waterfall came into view, Reed said, “Oh good. I was worried we were lost there for a minute.”

  “You know this car does have GPS,” Julia said, pointing to the map button on the darkened video display.

  “But then we wouldn’t feel like explorers who stumbled across something amazing.” She leaned over the console and pointed out Julia’s window.

  A narrow river coursed through a jungle of green foliage and then dropped abruptly in a shimmering waterfall with a backdrop of lava rock. Below, a dark pool reflected the cascading water.

  “That’s beautiful,” Julia said, surprised that the sudden appearance of the waterfall was enough to momentarily take her breath away.

  Reed was smiling when she looked back at her. “It’s even better close up. Think your ankle is up for a little walking?”

  “As long as we take it slow.”

  “Don’t worry. We never go anywhere fast.” Reed looked over her shoulder at the kids. “Do you guys want to see the cave where the moon goddess lives?”

  Getting out of the car took much less time than getting in, but there was considerably more name calling. Reed ignored the bickering for the most part, and soon both kids tumbled out of the car wearing sunhats and toting backpacks with water and snacks.

  Bryn latched onto Julia’s hand as they crossed the parking lot. “Do you think there’s really a moon goddess here?”

  “I don’t know. I hope so,” Julia said. “But she might be sleeping.”

  Fortunately, her ankle was feeling considerably better than she’d feared it might. Between the ibuprofen and the brace, she hardly felt any pain as Bryn dragged her over to the lookout point. She took out her camera and snapped a few pictures, catching the rainbow that the sunlight made in the spray, and then angled her lens toward Bryn who was staring, mouth agape at the dark cave behind the falls.

  “I think she’s hiding down there, Julia. Do you think she’ll come out of her cave?”

  “She probably only comes out when the moon is shining,” Reed said. “If she exists.”

  Bryn and Carly were quick to agree that the moon goddess was real but that she was hiding because of all the people.

  “Can you take our picture?” a woman asked, motioning to the man standing next to her and then holding her phone out to Reed.

  After Reed snapped the shot, the woman glanced at Julia, the girls, and then again at Reed. “Would you like me to take one for you? You have such a beautiful family.”

  Julia felt a tinge of guilt as Reed said, “Uh, sure.”

  The woman reached for Julia’s camera as the girls gathered close. Reed stepped in on the other side. A few camera clicks later and the awkwardness had passed. Julia took her camera back, thanking the woman, as Bryn and Carly started in on an argument over who had stepped on whose foot.

  “There’s a little spot over by those trees where we can have a snack and let the kids blow off some steam,” Reed said. “Think your ankle’s up for it?”

  “Sure.”

  A well-trodden dirt trail, laced with tree roots and overhung with moss from the constant misting of the falls, followed the cliff above the waterfall for fifty feet or so before seeming to end in thick jungle growth. Reed pointed the way and Carly and Bryn set off at a run. When they reached the overgrown part, the kids stopped. Reed pushed back the brush, revealing the hidden path, and the kids laughed and shoved to be first as they took off again. The way was thick with hanging vines and bushes as tall as houses.

  “You know your way around here.”

  “I came here a few years back. They were in diapers then. In retrospect, I was crazy for trying to go on a vacation alone with two toddlers.” Reed paused. “They’re easier now. In some ways at least. I feel like as soon as I get used to whatever stage they’re in, they change on me.”

  “What stage are they in now?”

  “I’m not sure. It’s a mix of boundless energy and constant curiosity fighting with a shitty attention span. Plus there’s a little self-centered asshole thrown in.” Reed grinned. “I kind of love the challenge.”

  She pointed at Bryn who’d been in the lead until she ran headfirst into a bush and got tangled up. She shrieked as Carly pushed past her. Tugging her shirt off a branch she’d snagged, Bryn turned to tear after her sister. “They’ll sprint for about twenty feet, then stop dead when they see a bug or a lizard. Then they spend two minutes poking and prodding the poor creature, another three arguing about who saw it first, and before you know it, they’re off at a run again.”

  As if on cue, Carly stopped in her tracks and Bryn bumped against her. “Look! Tarzan vines!”

  The tree ahead of them was enormous and Julia guessed by its size that it was ancient. “What type of tree is that?”

  “I think they call it a banyan tree,” Reed said. “And the things that look like vines are actually roots of little fig trees.”