Seren started to nod and then stood anyway. “I can set it out if we want to have it later.”

  “You really don’t have to.”

  Seren sucked in a breath as if about to say something, then gave a slight headshake and headed to the fridge. Focusing on the food earlier had seemed to make sense—especially given their last dinner conversation about her getting sick if she didn’t eat when she was hungry—but there was clearly something else bothering her.

  “It’s hardly a meal with only soup and bread.” Seren set the salad bowl on the table and then looked over at Paige. “You don’t have to eat salad if you don’t want to.”

  Paige lifted a shoulder. “We should all probably eat more greens, right?”

  “That’s what my grandma used to say when she served green jelly.” Seren shook her head. “I’m feeling a little ridiculous right now.”

  “What’s wrong?”

  Seren sank down in her chair. “Other than me?”

  “There’s nothing wrong with you.” She was ready to give Seren a list of all the right things, in fact.

  Seren took a deep breath and looked around the kitchen for a moment. “I’ve haven’t had anyone over here. Other than Leslie, I mean. This house doesn’t feel like my space. It’s my mom’s still. And those flowers are beautiful. But I haven’t had any around since my mom’s funeral.”

  “Oh. Shit. I didn’t think about that.”

  “Don’t feel bad. I like them. Really.”

  Despite what Seren said, she wished she’d skipped the flowers. Now Seren being uncomfortable earlier made sense. “I’m sorry.”

  Seren shook her head. “Please don’t be. The flowers just made me think…I’ve spent so much time in this house missing her. But now it feels like I’m moving on. And I feel bad because I want to.” She clenched her jaw. When she continued, her voice was lighter. “This is also the first time I’ve used the new bowls. I got tired of seeing a smiling cow every time I finished eating my food.”

  “I wouldn’t mind a smiling cow bowl.”

  “Why am I not surprised?”

  Seren made a little crooked smile that seemed to show how much she was trying to keep the conversation going while fighting back her emotions. Paige wanted to say it was okay not to hold back, but she knew, too, the expense of giving in to those unexpected moments of grief. She was the first to admit that sometimes it was better to hold the flood at bay for a while.

  After a moment, she met Paige’s gaze. “Years of the same cow face staring up at you from an empty cereal bowl and you might want something new.”

  “I doubt it.”

  Seren ran her finger along the brim of her empty soup bowl. “The other thing is I was feeling a little nervous about this dinner in particular.”

  Paige waited for her to go on, but instead of explaining more Seren simply left it at that. “Let me guess, you were worried I’d start talking about cows’ digestive systems again?”

  Seren pushed Paige’s shoulder, a playful smirk transforming her face.

  Humor had definitely been the right call. But now she wished Seren would touch her again. They’d only been joking around, and yet the contact had felt entirely too good. “Can I ask you something that’s been on my mind since yesterday?”

  Seren nodded.

  “Do you still have a drum set?”

  “No.”

  “Damn.”

  “Were you hoping for a performance?”

  “Maybe,” Paige admitted. “Drummers are so sexy. And you playing the drums is pretty much the hottest thing I can think of.”

  “I have a feeling you’ve got me confused with Mary Stuart Masterson from Some Kind of Wonderful.” She lifted an eyebrow. “Harboring an old crush?”

  “No. But blondes are my type.”

  Seren laughed. “Okay. You earned one point for that comment. Sorry I can’t play for you.”

  “Would you if you had a drum set here?”

  Seren considered it. “If you asked nicely. But I haven’t played for years. I’m sure I’d be terrible. My mom gave my drums away to one of the neighbor kids a few years ago…” Her voice trailed. “I found a picture and a news clipping my mom had saved from when I was playing with the G Street Girls. I swear it feels like that was a different lifetime.”

  “Do you still have that picture?”

  Seren opened her mouth, and Paige knew the answer was yes.

  “Can I see it?”

  Seren hesitated again. “Only to prove not all drummers are sexy.”

  “I’m gonna be the one who’s right.” Paige laughed when Seren rolled her eyes. “Do you think you’d ever get back into it?”

  “Drumming? Maybe. I miss it sometimes. It’s an incredibly good way to zone out and de-stress.”

  “Plus, drummers are cool. And sexy.”

  Seren shook her head. “I’ve had my cool moments. Now I’m a massage therapist whose main excitement for the day comes when I take my first sip of morning coffee—which is now decaf.”

  Paige grinned at Seren’s grumpy tone. “Are you saying life in Davis isn’t exciting?”

  “That’s an understatement.” Seren brushed off Paige’s mock surprise. “Although I did have to go to the police department last month and that was pretty thrilling.”

  “Decided on a life of crime to spice things up?”

  Seren’s “as-if” response was full of lighthearted snark. “Someone stole my bike.”

  “Oh, that sucks.”

  “Right? I never thought anyone would want my bike. It was a piece of crap, but I loved that cushy cruiser seat.” She sighed. “Anyway, in case you were wondering, there’s been a rash of bike thefts this past month.”

  “That’s how you know you live in an exciting town.”

  Seren shook her head, and Paige wondered how long she’d stay in Davis. There was no comparing the thrill of a big city, but there was a lot to love about Davis. She stopped herself from saying as much. Barely. She’d agreed to keep things casual. That meant there was no reason to plan for a future with them living in the same town. Unless Seren changed her mind about the casual part.

  Chapter Twenty

  After the dishes were cleared, they headed to the cow-bedecked living room. Seren pulled out a photo album and pointed Paige to the sofa. “I’m not going to let you look at all of these pictures because I was an awkward teenager and I’m embarrassed, but I did promise you this.”

  She sat down a foot away from Paige, thumbed through the pages, and then paused. “Oh, god. Why’d I tell you I had a picture?”

  “Let me see.” Paige leaned close. Before she’d focused on the picture, she caught a whiff of Seren’s perfume. Something sweet like vanilla or coconut and vaguely flowery. She had to fight the impulse to shift closer.

  “That’s Margo at the mic and that’s Ronni playing the guitar. The G Street Girls.”

  “And that’s you?” Paige touched the cellophane over the image of a teenage Seren behind a drum set. “You’re adorable.”

  “I didn’t think so back then. I had acne and I was awkward.” She shook her head. “I tried to joke a lot, but I never knew if people were laughing at me or with me. I do miss that drum set.”

  Paige tried to block out the building warmth in her body. She longed to close the distance between them but knew she couldn’t rush things.

  “Anyway. That was pretty much the end of my performing days.” Seren started to close the album but when Paige reached for it, she let her take it. “Don’t look at the other pictures, okay?”

  “Okay.” Paige studied the teen behind the drums again. Seren’s hair was shorter in the shot—not quite as short as Mary Stuart Masterson’s in Some Kind of Wonderful—but a shaggy wild cut. Dark eyeliner and goth style makeup completed the image. She didn’t look tough, though she seemed to be trying for that. The sweetness in her features was impossible to cover up.

  “Your haircut’s cute here but I like how you wear it now a little longer.” That wasn’t all Paige liked better about the Seren sitting next to her. She’d filled out in the best ways, and while teenage Seren had a lost sort of expression as if she were waiting for direction or something to happen, thirty-something Seren wasn’t waiting anymore. Paige set the album on the coffee table. “Do you miss performing?”

  “Sometimes. I used to go watch other bands perform and I’d imagine myself up on stage. I rarely even go out anymore.”

  “What bands have you seen?”

  “You sure you want to ask me that? I might keep you here for the rest of the night talking music.”

  “Wouldn’t be the worst thing.”

  The look Seren gave in response made Paige long to do more than talk. But a moment later Seren cleared her throat. “Maybe we should start with our favorite musicians.”

  “Okay.”

  Seren seemed to know Paige needed help focusing. She started listing bands she’d seen and then quizzed Paige on her music tastes. Soon Seren went to get her phone, saying she had a moral responsibility to introduce Paige to a musician she’d never heard of. When Seren returned to the sofa, she settled in closer and they took turns picking out favorite songs and watching the respective music videos on the phone. Seren apologized once for the sound quality, but Paige insisted it was perfect. The little screen also made sitting close a necessity.

  At first it was distracting being close enough to enjoy Seren’s scent. Definitely coconut and vanilla. And it was impossible not to notice when Seren laughed at one of the lead singer’s open-mouthed expressions and her knee bumped Paige’s. Even more impossible ignoring when Seren shifted closer to show Enya’s full name spelled out on the screen. But song after song followed, and Paige felt herself relax even with Seren’s leg pressed against hers. It was a distracted sort of relaxed, to be sure. A warm, comfortable-yet-wanting-more, happy feeling.

  If Seren hadn’t been holding the phone between them, Paige would have reached for her hand. That desire, and the longing to feel more of Seren without clothes between them, lit up her body. Right when she wasn’t certain she could hold out longer, she looked over and noticed Seren fighting back a yawn.

  Paige shifted over an inch, separating the contact of her leg with Seren’s. She glanced at her watch. “I should go. It’s late.”

  Seren scrunched up her face. “Not for normal people.”

  “Are you saying I’m weird?” Paige teased.

  “Not you. Me.”

  “You’re not weird. At all.” Paige stopped herself from saying more. She stood up and stretched, aware that her body might have reasons for wanting to stay up late but also was quite ready to find a bed. Unfortunately, it wouldn’t be Seren’s tonight.

  Instead of stopping at the front door to say goodbye, Seren walked Paige all the way to her truck. She looked up at the night sky.

  “Penny for your thoughts?” Paige asked.

  “I was thinking about how I feel like I’m in the right place for once.”

  “For once?”

  Seren nodded. “Tonight made me feel that way. I haven’t felt it for a long while.”

  “I am getting better at the whole water aerobics thing.”

  “Don’t get too cocky. You have room for more improvement.” Seren winked. “And you know I wasn’t talking about that part.”

  Paige eyed her truck and then glanced back at Seren. “You still feeling okay about us trying this dating thing?”

  “I am. I’ve told myself to relax and not think too far in advance. I really like being around you.”

  “In that case, are you busy Saturday afternoon?”

  Seren smiled. “Well, I take this awesome water aerobics class…”

  “I meant after class. Would you be up for another date?”

  “I would.” Seren tilted her head. “Why do you have a look on your face like you’re scheming something mysterious?”

  Paige laughed. “Because I might be.”

  “Do I get a hint?”

  Paige considered telling Seren her idea. She’d been thinking about it since she saw the picture of Seren with the band, but she wasn’t sure she could swing all the details. “Not yet.”

  “Hmm. Mysterious. Now I’m extra curious. What if someone asks what I’m doing on Saturday night?”

  “You can tell them you’re doing something mysterious with your water aerobics instructor.”

  Seren laughed again. “I can’t wait.”

  Electricity shot through Paige when Seren reached for her hand. She entwined their fingers and looked up to meet her gaze.

  “We probably shouldn’t go too fast, right?”

  Paige didn’t answer. It was Seren’s decision to make and from the look in her eyes, she knew that.

  “Right…” Seren’s voice trailed. In a whisper she added, “I want to anyway.”

  Paige was still trying to figure out what to say in response when Seren stepped forward and brushed a soft kiss against her cheek. It only lasted a moment, but Seren’s lips were smooth and perfect.

  When Seren stepped back and let go of Paige’s hand, she seemed as off-balance as Paige felt. Mostly it was the sensation of sharing the same space, the scent and sound of someone only inches away, and then the sudden absence. Paige ached to kiss her lips.

  “Anyway,” Seren murmured. “Now you know.”

  “It’s going to be hard waiting until Saturday.”

  Seren’s coy smile was everything Paige wanted. “You’ll manage. I’m the one who doesn’t even know what we’re doing for our date. Night, Paige.”

  “Good night, Seren.”

  Seren turned and walked up the path to the house and Paige brushed her fingertip over the spot she’d kissed. The floaty feeling that had swept her up as soon as Seren had leaned closed filled her again. When Seren reached the front door, she looked over her shoulder and raised her hand. Paige waved back. A second later, Seren disappeared inside.

  Chapter Twenty-One

  “Sixteen weeks. How are you feeling now that the first trimester is officially over?” Dr. Bueller looked from her laptop screen to Seren. “Excited? Nervous? Still nauseous?”

  “All the above.” Seren exhaled. Since everything with her mom and a month spent in and out of the hospital every day, she was nervous around doctors now. Despite how nice Dr. Bueller seemed, she couldn’t help wishing she wasn’t alone at these visits. “Well, the nausea has gotten better, actually.”

  “Good. Then my job today is only to make sure you and your baby are staying healthy.” Dr. Bueller smiled, helping to break the tension. “The last time we talked, you mentioned you’d had to stop going to the gym. Did you try the water aerobics class we talked about?”

  Seren nodded.

  “How’s that going?”

  “Great. I think I’ve been less stressed overall because of it.” At the last appointment she’d gotten a lecture about her borderline-high blood pressure and then another about being at increased risk for gestational diabetes because of her age. Neither of which had helped her stress level.

  “That’s exactly what I was hoping for.” Dr. Bueller clicked a few buttons on her computer, clearly distracted. “And, good news, normal blood pressure today.” She stood up from her desk and went over to put on a pair of exam gloves. Seren instantly thought of Paige examining cows and nearly laughed. These gloves were much shorter, of course. Thank god nothing was going up her butt.

  “Something funny?” Dr. Bueller asked, her lips upturning.

  “Oh, no. I mean, not really.” Paige was the one doctor she didn’t feel nervous around. All things considered, that was a good thing. “I have a friend who’s a cow vet and she mentioned how she determined a cow was pregnant.”

  Dr. Bueller smiled. “I’ve seen a lot of techniques. Lucky for you, I’m only going to feel your belly and then listen to your heart and the baby’s heart.” She directed Seren to lie back on the table and shifted the exam gown up on Seren’s chest. After a little poking and prodding, mixed in with a few nods, she motioned for Seren to sit up. “Everything’s perfect. Are you taking folate supplements or one of the prenatal vitamins?”

  Seren nodded. She hadn’t forgotten a single dose, though she’d vomited more than a handful of the horse pills back up again. At the thought of horse pills, her mind went right back to Paige. True, she hadn’t had many free minutes since their date that didn’t include thoughts of Paige. Wondering what she was doing. Wondering if she’d had as good a time as Seren had. Wondering about the plan for tomorrow. And then worrying how it was that they were dating despite her best attempts at not doing so.

  Dr. Bueller had taken off her gloves and was tapping away on her laptop. “We did the genetic screening with the blood sample at your twelve-week visit and checked that nuchal translucency…which was all great.” She squinted at the screen then tapped away again. “But I wanted Shonda to take a quick peek at a few other things today.”

  “Shonda?”

  Dr. Bueller looked up from her laptop. “My ultrasound tech. I can’t recall if you wanted to know the baby’s gender.”

  “Um…” The argument about not being able to identify gender based on parts came to mind. Dr. Bueller probably didn’t care but she wanted to mention it anyway. Unfortunately, she wasn’t certain she could confidently spout off any queer theory at the moment. Did she want to know the baby’s parts or not? She hadn’t anticipated needing to answer the question yet.

  “Not sure?” Before she could answer, Dr. Bueller said, “Don’t worry. I’m only verifying your baby’s size today because either you’re having a very big baby, we have your delivery date wrong, or the measurement was off last time. I’m sure it was the latter.”

  Seren wanted to ask her to slow down, but there was no getting a word in edgewise. How big a baby?

  Dr. Bueller continued, “We typically recommend the anatomy ultrasound to check important details like the baby’s heart at twenty weeks, so you’ll have time to decide on knowing the gender. At sixteen weeks, we can often see what’s going on between the legs, though, and I don’t want to ruin any surprise.”