“Tea should be delivered to the schoolroom shortly, then we will return to our lessons,” Regina announced once they relinquished the horses over to the stable boys. As the girls hadn’t really been in the habit of taking tea, Regina began the practice immediately, especially since Delia would be attending her first Season in two years. Regina didn’t wish for her to be ignorant of what was expected, proper pouring, and all the things that mattered so they didn’t embarrass themselves.

  As they neared the terrace so that they could enter the house, voices drifted out from the parlor.

  “Uncle Alec,” the youngest, Winifred cried and dashed to the terrace where Lord Melcombe and Alec had just emerged from the manor. Regina quickly ducked her chin and turned her head away as she pivoted toward the kitchen gardens, hoping to soon be out of sight.

  Regina’s stomach knotted as her chest tightened more with each step and she prayed Alec hadn’t really looked at her.

  “Miss Pierce,” Lord Melcombe called just as she was nearly out of sight.

  She stopped but did not turn to face him.

  “Your trunk has been returned and has been taken to your set of rooms.”

  She gave a quick nod and hurried away, but wasn’t yet out of sight before she heard Alec call, “Regina?”

  In that instant, her heart sank, but Regina pretended that she hadn’t heard him and rushed into the kitchen.

  Alec had followed Melcombe when he saw the girls coming from the stables, but it was the governess who held his attention. She was too far away for him to see her face clearly, but she reminded him of Regina. As soon as the girls cried out, the governess ducked and turned her head so that Alec couldn’t get a good look at her. She then turned away from him.

  Familiarity settled in his gut. The governess walked the same as Regina, and it wasn’t his imagination. She was the same height, the same figure, and the same black hair, but until he saw her face, he’d not know for certain.

  When Preston called to her, and she stopped, Alec had been able to study her profile. His pulse quickened and he blinked a few times, wondering if he was imagining her. But the woman who disappeared around the corner of the manor had the same flawless porcelain profile.

  “Regina?”

  She completely ignored him as if he hadn’t called out to her.

  “Her name is Miss Pearl Pierce,” Melcombe said.

  “I would be willing to wager that she is in truth, Miss Regina Rutledge.”

  “Rutledge?” Preston questioned.

  “Yes,” Alec answered. “She supposedly died in a fire last spring. The same one that took the life of her father, Viscount Rennick.”

  “I recall reading the accounts,” Preston said as they returned inside, completely dismissing Alec’s concern that their governess was not who she claimed to be.

  Was he mistaken?

  Perhaps it was someone who simply looked like Regina.

  There was always that possibility, but Miss Pierce could be Regina’s identical twin.

  “Girls, go above for lessons with Miss Pierce,” Preston instructed as Alec crossed to the sideboard and poured a glass of brandy. His hands were shaking so much that he could barely pour the liquid into the glass.

  She was supposed to be dead.

  Unless she’d been simply lost. What if she had hit her head and wandered away from the fire and didn’t remember who she was? That would explain her sudden appearance.

  He knew that he was grasping at impossibilities because his Regina would not have let him believe she was dead. She would not have put him through such anguish. So why the blazes was she living in Preston’s home, as a governess and under an assumed name.

  It was also possible that he missed her so desperately that he was seeing her in someone who upon closer inspection only bore a passing resemblance. They had been on the terrace, and she’d been entering the kitchen garden.

  He shook his head and took a drink. He had still been close enough to recognize her, which begged the question, why didn’t she tell him that she was alive?

  “You are very shaken, Alec,” Althea observed with concern.

  “Did you know Miss Rutledge?” Preston asked. “Is that why you think Miss Pierce resembles her?” Preston crossed the parlor and closed the door.

  Alec closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He’d guarded their secret to save Regina’s reputation and she never bothered to tell him she was alive.

  Except, it might not be her and he was being hopeful.

  Except he bloody well knew that the woman above stairs was the same lady he had been in love with and lost last year.

  “Alec?” Preston questioned when he said nothing.

  With a deep breath, he decided to no longer protect her. “Do you remember me telling you that I had lost someone and did not expect to be happy?”

  Preston nodded. “The one you fell in love with and wished to secure as your wife only to return and inform me that it was no longer possible.”

  Althea turned sharply, looking at her husband as if she knew nothing about that Spring, and likely Preston hadn’t told her for there was no reason to do so.

  “Yes,” Alec admitted. “At the time she was betrothed to another, which is why I never revealed her name. I did not wish to harm her reputation. I tried to convince her father to break the betrothal, but he would not.” Alec took another drink. “Do you recall the news articles about the fire in Lord Rennick’s home and how the betrothed, Mr. Herbert Vickery accused the daughter of…?”

  “I recall,” Preston said. “It happened right after my brother was killed. And you think the woman who died in the fire, Miss Regina Rutledge, is Miss Pearl Pierce?”

  “Yes,” he answered. “I thought she had died and continued to protect her reputation in death, but apparently she is very much alive.” He shook his head at the unbelievable possibility. “If you would call her down here and if I could just look her in the eye, then I would know. If it is her, I want bloody answers.”

  “Were you the man in the gardens?” Althea asked.

  Alec nodded. “I wanted to marry her. I wanted to take her off to Gretna Green and I still planned on doing that when I returned to London, but instead, I found her home burned to the ground.” He took a drink. “For so long I blamed myself. First, for not making certain we were not seen. Then for not being there to protect her, and for not being more forceful with her father. But most of all, I should have made her come with me north. Had I, she would still be alive.” He took another drink then looked to his cousin. “Except she is, and I want an explanation.”

  “Miss Pierce came to us with references that show her employment during the times she should have been in London,” Althea said.

  “Have you checked those references to make certain they are accurate?” Alec demanded.

  “I have written, but the Downing Employment Agency assured us that all is correct.”

  “Could you please call her down here so that this can be settled?” Alec demanded.

  “I cannot do that,” Althea said.

  “Then I will find her myself.” Alec set his glass aside and strode for the door, ignoring his cousin and his wife asking him not to bother the governess.

  He knew Preston too well and there was only one reason they’d not send for the governess. They knew the truth and had vowed to keep whatever bloody secret Regina asked of them. He didn’t blame them because how could either of them know that their governess was the woman he’d been mourning for a year?

  Chapter 6

  Regina attempted to teach the girls, but she couldn’t concentrate on any of the lessons. She wasn’t even certain she could count to ten, she was so flustered.

  ″You may go,” she finally dismissed them and sought her set of rooms where she shut the door firmly behind her, locked it, and willed herself not to cry.

  She should have known this would happen when she accepted the position.

  What a fool she’d been to think that she could live in Melcombe’s home and avoid his cousin.

  It had taken everything in her being not to turn at the sound of Alec’s voice, but she knew what would happen if she did and she wasn’t ready.

  She would never be ready to face him.

  With any luck, he had dismissed her appearance as someone who only resembled the person he once knew.

  At least she’d known love in her lifetime. Some people didn’t even get that, but she had loved Alec with every part of her being and he had loved her. That was what Regina would hold on to, even when her heart ached because he could never know the truth.

  Regina started at the pounding on her door and stepped away.

  ″Regina, open this door.”

  All hope of Alec thinking she was someone else fled or had Lord and Lady Melcombe broken their promise and confirmed her identity.

  ″Open the door, Regina,” he called again.

  If she remained silent, perhaps he would think she was somewhere else and go away.

  ″The girls told me you are in here,” he said.

  She still didn’t move or answer him. It wasn’t as if he could do anything if she refused to unlock her door.

  There was a sudden thud against her door and then it splintered, flying open. Regina quickly turned her back on him.

  ″I know it is you, Regina,” he said. “I simply wish to know why you have let me believe you were dead for a year.”

  She bit her lip, not certain what to say.

  ″Please,” he begged in a softer tone. “Why won’t you look at me?”

  Tears sprang to her eyes. He couldn’t see her.

  ″Why?” he asked.

  ″It is for the best,” she finally answered.

  ″Best!” he yelled. “I loved you. Was in love with you. Do you know I wanted to die when I learned what happened?”

  ″I am sorry,” she whispered. What more could she say?

  ″Sorry?” he asked. “That is all you have to say! I thought you loved me as much as I loved you.”

  Oh, she did. She still did. Even though Regina Rutledge died, her love for Alec had not. But she needed him to go away. “What we had is over. Please go.”

  ″That’s it? You are rejecting me without an explanation? One day you’re across my lap as I pleasure you, and you cry out my name, and within a fortnight, you want nothing to do with me.”

  ″Please lower your voice. The girls will hear you.” She didn’t care what he thought of her, but her charges did not need to hear such talk.

  ″I now understand how misses and ladies feel after they have been ruined and discarded.”

  Pain and anger merged within his tone, but Regina held her tongue. It was best for both of them if he hated her.

  ″At least face me while rejecting me after everything we shared.”

  ″I cannot. It’s best that you go.”

  ″Cannot, or will not?”

  ″Both.”

  ″If you want me to go, then you need to turn around and tell me. Swear that what we shared meant nothing to you.”

  Regina had been dreading this moment and hoped the day would never come, but Alec was going to be stubborn.

  She took a deep breath and slowly turned around.

  His initial reaction was a wince, then horror before his eyes filled with pity, as she knew they would.

  ″Go, Alec.”

  ″Regina.” He reached out to her.

  ″Go!” she ordered again.

  His eyes studied the scar on the right side of her face, and the ones on her neck. She was certain he wondered if her entire right side was covered in scars.

  ″Please leave.”

  The pity she saw in his warm brown eyes was almost her undoing. She didn’t want his pity and feared that he’d feel obligated to remain with her. She didn’t want to be anyone’s obligation, especially if the man she loved deeply took it on.

  How often had he told her that she was the most beautiful woman he’d ever seen? That he was in awe of her beauty. That he enjoyed caressing her soft, delicate skin.

  ″Regina, I...” he lifted her right hand, and pain slashed across his features, noting those scars as well.

  ″I need you to go, Alec.”

  ″I do not understand.”

  Was he blind? “Get out!” she finally yelled.

  ″Come long, Alec,” Melcombe said, placing his hands on Alec’s shoulders and pulling him back.

  ″You still have not explained why you lied to me.”

  ″No explanation is needed,” she said and turned her back on him again. Regina knew that she’d never be able to erase his wince and then the expression of horror as he viewed her scars, or his pity, from her memory.

  ″Come along, Alec,” Melcombe said again.

  Regina clenched her jaw waiting for them to go, listening to their footsteps in the corridor and then going down the stairs. Only when there was silence did she relax. She turned to close her door, to find Lady Melcombe standing at the entry.

  ″Is there anything you need?”

  ″I just wish to be alone, if it is permitted.”

  She gave a slight nod. “Take all the time that you need, Miss Rutledge.” Sadness and sympathy filled Lady Melcombe’s eyes as she closed her chamber door. The lock was broken, and with the frame splintered, the door no longer remained shut so Regina shoved a dressing table in front of it, then threw herself on her bed and sobbed for the first time in months.

  Alec pulled away from Preston and stormed down the stairs and back into the sitting room. There he grabbed the bottle of brandy and considered drinking directly from it but decided to pour himself a glass. He didn’t stop at a polite amount but poured heavily.

  ″Are you certain it is wise to get drunk?” Preston asked.

  ″She lied to me.”

  ″I am certain she had her reasons,” Althea said after she followed them into the sitting room.

  ″For a bloody year, I have mourned her.” He took a drink. Getting bloody drunk was exactly what he needed and wanted. “I understand why I was not informed immediately.” He took another drink. “Nobody knew of our secret courtship nor my intention to marry her. However, there is no excuse for her not telling me.”

  ″Did she give you a reason?” Preston asked.

  ″None. Nothing.” He took another drink, knowing he was well on his way to being foxed. He wanted to be drunk. He needed to block out the pain of her rejection. “We were going to be married, as soon as we could figure out a way to make it happen.” He took a drink. “I don’t know why she changed her mind. I didn’t do anything. All I did was love her, and miss her, and she can set me aside as if I am something outgrown or no longer useful.”

  ″I am certain it was not an easy choice,” Althea offered sympathetically.

  Alec shook his head. “She certainly is not bothered by her decision.”

  ″You do not know any of the reasons for the decisions she made. Even changing her name.”

  ″It does not matter.” He finished off the brandy in his glass. “As she has dismissed me, then my plans have not changed.”

  ″Which plans are those?” Preston asked.

  ″You will attend the Season with me, as you promised, and help me secure a wife. One who will never betray me.”

  With that, Alec turned on his heel, stormed from the house, and launched himself into his carriage. He was going to London or Edinburgh. He didn’t care. He was going to find a woman who wanted him, even if it was only a light skirt for the night.

  Had what they shared been a lie? Had she strung him along, had her fun, while intending to marry Vickery all along?

  Alec had thought she was different. But apparently being a poor earl wasn’t good enough for her. She’d rather have wealth than a title.

  He snorted and glanced out the window. He should have picked a chit who would have been happy for his attention and eager to become a countess. Such a miss would not have broken his heart. She would have appreciated him. She wouldn’t have lied about being alive.

  Next time he chose a wife, he’d make certain she wasn’t saying and doing one thing but planning on doing another.

  Chapter 7

  Regina didn’t leave her room for the rest of the day or evening. Dinner was brought to her, but she had no appetite. All she wished to do was cry, which she did. It was as if a year’s worth of tears came pouring out of her. The mourning for her father, the loss of her family, burying the old her, and the loss of Alec.

  If he hadn’t winced. If he hadn’t been horrified by her appearance, she might have begged him to forgive her for not saying anything. But she knew that if she told him all the reasons she had to die that he’d only remain with her because of pity. There certainly would no longer be any passion between them. How could there be when he was horrified to look at her?

  After a fitful night of sleep, she rose, renewed and ready to begin anew.

  As painful as yesterday was, at least it was behind her. She’d no longer have to hide in fear that she’d see him. If he came to visit his cousin, she’d simply make herself scarce, as a governess should, but she no longer needed to hide.

  With a deep breath, she made her way to the breakfast room. Her charges were already waiting, and she filled a plate to join them. After taking her seat, she stared down at her bowl of porridge, then at the toast and eggs, and her stomach tightened. Perhaps she should have settled on tea.

  ″Is your name really Regina,” Lila asked. She was the next to the youngest, age seven, and enjoyed inventing stories.

  ″Hush, Lila,” Delia said. “It is none of our concern and she is Miss Pierce to us.”

  ″How much did you hear?” Regina finally asked. The girls had likely been in the schoolroom or in their chambers when Alec had broken down her door, so it was likely they heard much.

  ″I have never seen Uncle Alec so angry,” Matilda muttered.

  ″It is none of our concern,” Delia insisted again.

  ″Nor should you ask questions,” Teddy added, staring at her younger sisters.