Lilly’s Surrender

  Lilly, Riley, Christian, and Tallinn have been friends since grade school. Moving to the city was one of the hardest things Lilly had to do, but when an unexpected phone call leads her back to the small city of Burkett, Colorado, home just doesn’t bring back the same warm feelings it used to.

  With an unexpected tragedy filling her life, Lilly must turn to the men she loves the most, and hope that the comfort they offer is enough. What she doesn’t expect is for them to give her a soul shattering pleasure, one that leaves her breathless and makes her pain almost bearable. She must now decided to stay in Burkett and be reminded of what she lost everyday, or go back to the city and loose what she found in the arms of the men she cares about the most.

  Genre: Contemporary, Ménage a Trois/Quatre

  Length: 26,412 words

  LILLY’S SURRENDER

  Jenika Snow

  MENAGE AMOUR

  Siren Publishing, Inc.

  www.SirenPublishing.com

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  A SIREN PUBLISHING BOOK

  IMPRINT: Ménage Amour

  LILLY’S SURRENDER

  Copyright © 2010 by Jenika Snow

  E-book ISBN: 1-60601-969-4

  First E-book Publication: October 2010

  Cover design by Jinger Heaston

  All cover art and logo copyright © 2010 by Siren Publishing, Inc.

  ALL RIGHTS RESERVED: This literary work may not be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, including electronic or photographic reproduction, in whole or in part, without express written permission.

  All characters and events in this book are fictitious. Any resemblance to actual persons living or dead is strictly coincidental.

  PUBLISHER

  Siren Publishing, Inc.

  www.SirenPublishing.com

  Letter from Jenika Snow

  Regarding Ebook Piracy

  Dear Readers,

  I would like to thank each and every one of you for purchasing this story through Bookstrand.com, and I would like to thank you in advance for not sharing a copy of it. There is an ongoing problem with e-book piracy, and I just wanted to say a few words about it. A lot of time and effort goes into creating a story, and when e-books are distributed illegally, it makes it more difficult for the parties involved in creating that story to produce more. My stories are not just my dream, they are also my livelihood.

  So once again, thank you for purchasing this ebook legally and for not participating in e-book piracy.

  With deep gratitude,

  Jenika Snow

  DEDICATION

  “For precious friends hid in death’s dateless night, and weep afresh loves long since cancelled woe, and moan th’ expense of many vanished sight.”

  -William Shakespeare, sonnet 30

  Remember the good times.

  LILLY’S SURRENDER

  JENIKA SNOW

  Copyright © 2010

  Chapter One

  He was gone. Lilly could only sit on the edge of her bed and hold the phone as the words played over and over again in her head. Christian’s dead, Christian’s dead, Christian’s dead. The sound of a dial tone was barely enough background noise to dull the ringing in her ears. Sorrow for the loss of one of her best friends assaulted her. Guilt that she hadn’t seen him in years wracked her. The one thing that was twisting her heart, burning it from the inside out, was the fact that she had never said goodbye.

  She would finally be going to her home town after so many years away, but it wouldn’t be a happy reunion. No, she was going back to watch Christian being buried.

  * * * *

  Lilly pulled her car into the small and rundown gas station that was about thirty minutes outside of Burkett, Colorado—the town she grew up in.

  She stopped in front of one of the two pumps, both brown and rusted around the edges. A bell chimed twice and signaled the attendants to come out to pump the patron’s gas.

  A greasy-looking young boy jogged toward her car, mindful of the thick snow and ice covering the ground. She rolled the window down as he stopped in front of the passenger side window with a big, white smile amid a face full of black grime.

  “What can I do for you, miss?”

  “Can you please fill the tank up?” She leaned back in her seat as he pumped the gas, her mind blank and void of any and all emotion. She would not cry in the parking lot of a rundown gas station. It was during the quiet times that she remembered the good times she had had with her boys.

  They had been called the quartet ever since they were toddlers. Christian Reive had always been the rambunctious one with a head full of auburn hair and eyes so blue they rivaled the Caribbean. No one had been surprised when he opened his own construction company. He built incredible cabins and buildings in Burkett and the surrounding areas. Christian’s talent had built where Riley now resided.

  Tallinn Draven had always been the strong and silent type, the women’s man as the other boys had dubbed him. He had joined the military and had moved up the ranks, now a captain in the Marines.

  Riley McKnight was the brains of the group. His caring and intelligence had taken him in the right direction and profession. That intelligence made him the best doctor in their area, in Colorado, if anyone asked her. Then there had been her, the only girl in Burkett who had dared to put up with the three of them.

  She had just spoken to Christian a week ago, had just heard the deep baritone of his voice as he talked about getting the four of them together. She had meant to come down, but with working at the firm, she hadn’t found much time. It was too late, though. Christian was already gone, and she would never see him again.

  She felt a tear slip down her cheek and quickly wiped it away. She had taken a leave of absence, the loss of her friend hitting her so hard she couldn’t even think straight let alone go back to work. She had enough time and money saved up that she didn’t even have to worry about working for a while.

  “Anything else, ma’am?”

  She turned her head toward the young man. The scent of grease, oil, and gas permeated the air, and instantly her stomach recoiled. She shook her head, handed him the money and a generous tip, and drove off.

  Thirty minutes later, she was pulling into Burkett, the sights bringing back memories and putting a smile on her face. Nothing had changed in the years she had been away, and she was thankful for the feeling of being home. The snowcapped mountains towering in the horizon reminded her of the trips the four of them used to take.

  She turned off her car and sat in the parking lot of the local grocery store. It wasn’t anything big, minuscule compared to what she was used to, living in Denver, but it reminding her of happier times. She stared at the mountains, remembering when the four of them had gone skiing for the first time as a group. It had taken all of her coaxing to talk her parents into letting her go with Tallinn, Christian, and Riley. Christian had taught her how to ski when she was seventeen. Tallinn and Riley had teased her mercilessly over the fact that she was so old and lived so close to the mountains and had never learned.

  Big mountains and the fear of avalanches—as silly as that was to believe—cemented her belief that it was better to stay in town. They had talked her into it, though. Her three big, strong boys had told her they would protect her.

  And they had.

  She grabbed her purse and got out of the car. She needed to pick up a few things since she had no idea how long she intended to stay in town. Her parents moved to a warmer climate a few years back, but thankfully they hadn’t sold their cabin. That was where she planned on staying for her indefinite time in Burkett.

  The grocery store’s double doors slid open, and she stepped inside. Half the town was shopping since the weather had predicted a massive snow storm to hit later this week. She saw several faces she recognized and a lot that were new. It was the busy time in Burkett, the skiing excellent this time of year and bringing hordes of tourists to the area.

  “Well, well, if that isn’t little Lilly Hawthorn.”

  She turned around and smiled widely. David Masterson was several years older than she was and had acted more like a big brother than a neighborhood friend. His dark hair was prematurely grayi
ng, and wrinkles had started forming at the corners of his baby blue eyes.

  “Davie Masterson, how’ve you been?”

  They embraced, mindful of standing in the center of the produce section as people shopped.

  “Good, and you? Haven’t seen you in what? Three years?”

  She adjusted the little red basket on her arm. “Yeah, long time. How are Dani and the kids?”

  “They’re doing real good. Dani is pregnant again.”

  “What is that? Number four?”

  His cheeks became red, and he broke into a full grin. “Yup, fourth time’s the charm. It’s a boy.”

  “That’s wonderful, Davie.”

  “You know you’re the only one who still calls me that.”

  “I guess old habits die hard.” She closed her eyes and instantly regretted her words. She opened them and stared back into his face.

  He appeared so serious all of the sudden and ushered her to the side. “So, I assume you’re here for Christian’s funeral? How are you handling everything?”

  She stared idly at the rows of lettuce. The automatic sprinklers came on, sending a mist into the air. “I could be better.” He wrapped her in another hug, and she sighed, knowing now was not the time to cry.

  “Have you seen Tallinn and Riley yet?”

  “No. I’m headed over there later tonight, after I get settled in.” She pulled away from him and looked into his eyes. “I’ve only talked to them once and that was when they called me with the news. Have you seen them? Are they doing okay?”

  He ran his hand over his hair and glanced around uneasily. “I haven’t seen them since…well, since the accident. No one has actually. They have been keeping to themselves.”

  Tallinn and Riley had cabins in the mountains, no more than a mile apart, and she suddenly became so stricken, knowing their emotions must be weighing on them heavily. Before she had moved to Denver, the four of them had always spent time at Riley’s house. She had so many wonderful memories in that house.

  “Well, listen, I have to finish getting supplies for the storm, but we should get together later on.”

  She knew where they would see each other, Christian’s funeral. She nodded almost absently, and they hugged again. She watched him walk away, sighing as she continued her shopping and trying to keep her mind on more pleasant things—things that wouldn’t make her break down in the middle of the grocery store.

  Chapter Two

  Three hours later, Lilly headed over to Riley’s house. Even though the weather forecast hadn’t called for snow for a couple more days, there was a light flurry blowing in the air. The higher she drove into the mountains, the more ominous the sky appeared. Finally seeing Riley’s massive cabin up ahead, she breathed a content sigh. It had been so long since she had been up here, and seeing the cabin brought back so many wonderful feelings.

  She pulled into the driveway and parked next to Tallinn’s gargantuan truck, his ever-present decal of the Marines Insignia stuck to the bumper. Knowing the boys planned on making dinner and wanting to contribute something, she grabbed the bottle of red wine she had picked up at the store. As she hurried to the door, the wind picked up and blew snow in her direction. Once she reached the porch, it shielded her slightly from the weather onslaught. Although she could have just walked right in, she hadn’t seen them for several years, and the thought of just bursting into Riley’s home seemed obtrusive.

  She took hold of the icy brass knocker and slammed it down on the oak door, feeling the vibrations down to her bones. A second later, the door swung open, and she couldn’t help but smile. Tallinn, his frame massive and his expression one of sadness yet love, stood on the other side. He broke into a grin, all straight and white teeth, as he pulled her inside and wrapped her in a hug. He was so tall, and his body, hard with muscles, spoke of years of military training.

  “God, I missed you, Lilly.”

  His voice was deep and rough, a husky timbre as she heard him inhale against her hair. She could have cried right then and there from the sound of his voice alone, but a spark of willpower gave her the strength she needed to carry on. “I missed you, too.”

  They stayed in that embrace for a suspended moment, the frigid wind moving through the open door causing her to shiver. They broke away, and Tallinn closed the door, stood back, and just stared at her.

  “What?” She laughed at the expression that crossed his face. His dark hair was disheveled, and he regarded her solemnly with his forest green eyes.

  “Nothing. I just really missed you.”

  She smiled, not about to let herself get wrapped up in her emotions. She was already feeling stretched and worn down with the feelings bombarding her over Christian’s death. Letting herself cry now would only mean she wouldn’t be able to stop.

  “I missed you, too.” She glanced around the grand foyer. “Something smells delicious, Riley’s cooking, I take it?”

  “Yeah, he’s like our very own Emeril.”

  She took her coat off, hung it up, and followed Tallinn. The first thing that always caught her eye when she stepped into the kitchen was the imported Italian black marble counters and stainless steel appliances. Lilly had scoffed at the amount Riley had paid for the stuff, but seeing the finished product always took her breath away.

  Riley wasn’t known for his subtlety.

  Tallinn leaned against the wall, crossing his big arms over his chest while watching her. She drew her gaze to Riley, his back to her as he stirred a concoction on the stove. It was clear he was unaware they were standing there. He turned around, his blond hair cut close to his scalp and perfectly styled. His thin glasses made him seem scholarly and intellectual, both of which were true.

  She couldn’t stop her smile.

  He grabbed some vegetables off the counter, his eyes momentarily flickering to her and then back down. His head snapped up a second later, his hand going to his heart as he smiled.

  “Lilly.”

  Her name was a soft breath out of his mouth, and she looked between Tallinn and Riley, her chest seizing when memory after memory tore through her. It was just like old times, except Christian wasn’t sitting at the table with a beer in his hand telling his corny jokes. That was all it took for her emotions to strangle her, finally seeing their faces. She couldn’t hold back any longer, not as she glanced between them and then at the empty table. She dropped her shoulders, and tears spilled over as she finally let the grief she felt for Christian wash through her.

  Riley and Tallinn were by her in the next instant, wrapping their arms around her and speaking caring and soft words. Strong, heavy sobs wracked her, and if it weren’t for them holding her up, she would have fallen to her knees.

  “Please don’t cry, Lilly. It breaks my heart,” Riley whispered against her hair.

  She let them lead her out to the living room and onto the couch. Tallinn handed her a box of tissues as he sat down next to her and wrapped his arm around her shoulders. She wiped her nose while Riley went into the kitchen, pots and pans banging quickly before he came back out and sat on the other side of her.

  Her tears were a steady, heavy torrent. Her chest heaved as she squeezed her eyes shut and tried to calm herself in front of the two most important men in her life. She looked down at where Riley’s big hand rubbed her thigh tenderly. She brought her gaze back to his face, his brows drawn together with concern and sadness. She stared into those amber-colored irises and saw love and kindness reflected back. She turned toward Tallinn, his jaw set tight as he tried not to show his emotions. He was always the strong one, the manly man of the group who never expressed his feelings more than a grunt or nod.

  “I’m going to miss him so much.” She dropped her head and squeezed her eyes shut again, hot tears making tracks down her cheeks and dripping onto her hand.