She shook her head again, not sure where this whole demeanor came from. He seemed different, a lot different, in fact.

  “There’s a lot to talk about, David.” Gillian finally found her voice and reason. She’d come here to speak to David about what in the fuck he’d done out of the blue, and she wasn’t going to let her feelings and this sudden, misplaced arousal stop her from doing that.

  David didn’t say anything, but did set his now empty glass back on the counter. He crossed his arms over his chest, and she couldn’t help but appreciate the sight of all that muscle flexing under his golden, tatted up skin.

  Get a fucking grip. That’s not why I’m here.

  “I want to know what happened, David. You came out of nowhere, knocked Gerald on his ass, and then just left.”

  “Is that the fucker’s name?” Although he phrased it like a question, Gillian had a feeling he wasn’t really looking for affirmation.

  She felt her strength and resolve rise after the words came out. “I’ve only ever seen you like that once before.” Her throat tightened as that night rose up in her mind. She also noticed the change in David after she spoke. He uncrossed his arms, curled his hands into fists at his sides, and she could see how tight his jaw was.

  He was upset.

  She took a step a back involuntarily, not because she was afraid he might hurt her, but as if it were instinct. It was like she backed away from a caged animal ready to leave and never look back. How she felt made no sense, but right now, her emotions, had her feeling like she was ready to be swallowed up by the earth.

  “You’re afraid of me now.” Still his expression was emotionless.

  “No,” she said instantly.

  He relaxed, somewhat, and she had a feeling he did it for show, to somehow ease her. “I’d never hurt you.”

  “I know that.” And she did, without a doubt. Right now things just felt so strange, so off kilter.

  “I’d never let anyone hurt you, Gillian,” he said again, harder this time.

  She swallowed.

  “I know.” All those years ago was proof of that, but that still didn’t excuse what in the hell had happened with Gerald, and it wasn’t like she was going to let this go. She needed to know why David ad done what he’d done. She took a step toward him now, wanting to hug him, to try to get rid of this weird atmosphere that was bouncing between them. He shook his head, though, stopping her.

  “You should probably go, Gillian. I’m not in a good place right now.” His voice was still so deep, but it wasn’t just that he was so masculine, but that he seemed in pain, like his emotions were pulled in two different directions. She could relate to that.

  But for the first time since David came into her life, and even though she knew she could always count on his strength for stability, she was genuinely worried he was falling apart. She worried she wouldn’t be able to rescue him in the way he’d saved her, and that broke her heart.

  Chapter Nine

  The longer David stared at her, the more he fucking hated himself. He should have demanded that she leave, because truth was he didn’t want her seeing him like this. He was unhinged, and for as long as he’d been in her life he’d made sure to keep his composure. That’s why he went off and fought, because showing any kind of weakness or emotion in front of her wasn’t what he wanted to do.

  “I know you’d never let anyone hurt me, David, but I’m worried about you, about what’s going on.”

  Her voice was so soft, so feminine. He was so fucking in love with her, but he couldn’t even be himself around her.

  It was a damn tragedy that he couldn’t be with the woman he loved.

  “I’d die before I let what happened all those years ago repeat.” God forbid if anyone even tried to touch her, because their fate would be the same as when he fucked up Brian. David knew a day didn’t go by that the motherfucker didn’t think about the mistake he made seven years ago. That’s exactly how David wanted it to go, too.

  “Talk to me,” she said, and moved another step closer. All he’d wanted was to make her his, to show her that she was meant to be with him. The stalking—which he could admit was what he did with her—wasn’t because he was a fucking psycho, but because he worried about her.

  She’ll never see it like that.

  “Just let me in. You know you can trust me.” She moved another step closer, her hands slightly out as if she were trying to corral a wounded animal.

  You are a fucking animal of the worst kind.

  The wall he had around himself to protect her cracked as he stared into her eyes. “If I let you in you’d run, Gillian.” He shouldn’t have said anything, especially when he saw her eyes widen after he spoke. But he had to be honest with her. “You’d be so fucking frightened of me, Gillian, and I can’t allow that.”

  She swallowed, and he watched her throat work at the act. “You didn’t seem to care if I was afraid when you came out of the blue and hit Gerald.”

  He clenched his jaw. “I don’t want to scare you. That’s the last thing I want to do, and why I want you to leave. I’m not in a good place right now.”

  She just shook her head slowly. “I don’t want to leave you here like this, David. I don’t want to leave at all. I want you to talk to me about what in the hell happened with you and Gerald—“

  “Don’t say his name, Gillian. Hearing that motherfucker’s name doesn’t do anything but have me right back there.” He was getting pissed at just thinking of that fucker touching her, kissing her … being with her in ways David would never be.

  “David,” she whispered his name, and his gut clenched. He closed his eyes, trying to rein in his emotions. He needed to do right by her, to make her see that no matter what she didn’t have to worry about him, or hell, his sanity.

  “I’d kill anyone that thought they could touch you, hurt you.” He opened his eyes. “That won’t ever go away. I’ve always felt that way since I walked in on Brian attacking you.”

  “David, you don’t have to have your life revolve around me. You don’t have to worry if I’ll get myself into another mess.”

  “It wasn’t your fucking fault what happened with that prick.” His voice had gone louder, deeper, his rage right there at the surface as that night rose up in him in memories. She took a step back, her eyes still wide. He’d never raised his voice at her, and aside from her seeing him break apart when he was beating Brian, he’d made sure to keep his composure always in place.

  “Fuck, I’m sorry, Gillian.” He moved closer to her, but she moved on back. He could see she wasn’t afraid of him, but she was unsure about this situation. He scrubbed a hand over his face, feeling like he was about to tear right through his skin.

  “Why can’t you open up to me?”

  He dropped his hand to his side and saw the pained expression on her face.

  “You’re the closest person to me, David, the one I trust with anything. I hoped you felt the same.”

  I do.

  “But if you want me to go, I’ll go.” But she still stood there for several seconds, not moving, her attention on him. He didn’t speak, didn’t know what the fuck to say. Telling her the truth was harder than he fucking knew it should be. Explaining that for years he’d been following her, wasn’t exactly something that would bring them closer together. But he had to tell her something, to give her that peace of mind that he cared about her, trusted her, and was here because of her.

  She stared at him for only a second longer before finally speaking. “Okay, I’ll go. But I’m here, David. You know that. I’ll always be here for you.” She turned and started leaving. He took a step closer, the wanting to grab her, the need to pull her close, raging war inside of him.

  “I went after him because he kissed you, thought he had the right to put his fucking hands on you.” David finally just blurted the fucking truth out about tonight. He curled his hands into fists at his sides again. She turned and looked at him, her brows knitted with her clear confusion.

  “You hit him over the kiss?”

  He didn’t bother answering.

  “But where did you come from? How did you even know I was out with him?”

  He clenched his jaw, felt his teeth start to grind together, and knew he should tell her what he’d been doing, how he’d watched her, followed her, did everything in his power to make sure she was never truly alone. All of his emotions for her, his love, the need to have her as only his, claimed him like a fucking beast tearing a city down. His muscles grew tight, his entire body waging war with his brain, with what was common sense and reality.

  And then she moved closer and placed her hand on his chest. He looked down, feeling electricity move through him at that small touch. Her skin felt hot against him, and her hand was so small, her fingers slightly shaking. He lifted his head and saw she was looking right in his eyes, their gazes locked. He didn’t know what was happening right now, but he felt the intensity, felt his need for her create this energy, make all reason and reality leave. He should have stepped away, should have made her leave, because what he wanted to do, and what he was going to end up doing, could very well ruin everything.

  But instead of saying what he should, or at least telling her what he’d really been up to, he placed his hand on top of hers, right over his chest, and applied pressure. He liked having her hand on him, liked the heat he felt.

  “David,” she whispered his name, and his cock jerked.

  The fucker was getting hard just from the close proximity of Gillian, from the sweet scent of her.

  “I just…” She didn’t finish speaking, and he lowered his gaze to her lips, watched her run her tongue along them, and found himself hardening even more.

  And because he didn’t know what the fuck he was doing, and because he couldn’t have stopped himself if he even wanted to, he cupped his free hand on the back of her head, held her in place, and leaned forward. He kissed her like this was the last time he ever saw her, and maybe it was. What he expected was for her to pull away, to look at him with disgust, shock, hurt even. What he didn’t expect was to hear the moan come from her, or to feel her kissing him back.

  He ran his tongue along her bottom lip, tasting the sweet flavor on her mouth. He curled his hand around her head even more, dug his fingers into her hair, and pulled her impossibly closer. And then she did pull away, their lips breaking apart, their breathing haggard.

  “David.” Her voice was soft, her lips red and glossy.

  “I shouldn’t have done that,” he said in a low voice, still looking at her mouth, still holding onto her.

  The silence stretched between them for several seconds, and then she rose on her toes, wound her arms around his neck, and fucking kissed him. He groaned, loving that she opened her mouth wide for him, and plunged his tongue into the warm, sweet recess of her mouth.

  “Maybe I should go, David,” she panted against his mouth, but it didn’t sound very convincing.

  He looked down at her, seeing the drugged expression on her face, the clear fact she was aroused.

  “This is crazy.”

  The sound of her whispered words had his cock jerking behind his boxers. “Maybe it is crazy, but I can’t stop now that I started.” He cupped her cheek, holding onto her, feeling like she’d leave, escape like a frightened little animal. This dam had been opened inside of him, and his arousal, his need and all the emotions he had for Gillian, were out in the open. He might not have told her he fucking loved her, but his cock prodding her belly had to be clue enough that he wanted her.

  “You can’t stop?” She lowered her gaze to his mouth, and he could see the way her pulse beat faster beneath her ear.

  “I can’t let you leave, Gillian. I won’t. This has been started, and I know you want it, too.” He had no control over his actions anymore, not right now, and not with Gillian so responsive to him. “Tell me how you feel.”

  She didn’t answer for several seconds, and in that time he turned them and walked her backward until the wall stopped her.

  “What’s happening, David?” She sounded scared, her voice shaking slightly.

  “Do I frighten you?” he asked and leaned down so their mouths were only inches apart.

  She nodded once, but arched her chest, pressing her breasts against him. “Yes,” was all she said.

  “Do you want to hold back from me?” He was challenging her, and he didn’t know why he’d let himself get to this point. He should have been stronger, should have controlled himself better around her. But the events of tonight, the need he’d had built up inside of him, and having Gillian here right now, were his undoing.

  “I don’t have anything holding me back. Not anymore.” She swallowed on that last word, and he knew she wasn’t being honest with herself or him.

  He reveled in the smoothness of her skin and felt like the world was crashing down around him. It was because of this woman that he’d move heaven and earth to please. It was because of his feelings for her that he’d walk through hell just to see her smile, if that’s what she wanted.

  “Tell me what you want, Gillian.” He knew what he wanted, but he wasn’t going to go there at this moment. He wanted to see what she wanted, where she stood.

  She stared into his eyes, and he felt his heart beat a little faster at the vulnerability he saw. God, did this woman know the power she held over him? Fuck, did he realize the power she held over him?

  You know exactly what she does to you, exactly how much power she exerts over you with just one look.

  “If I let myself feel these emotions they might ruin us, what we have, David.” She whispered the words, and although she spoke them, she also didn’t try to move away. In fact, she pressed her breasts more firmly to his chest, and he moved an inch closer, impossibly closer.

  “Nothing will get ruined, baby.” At least that’s what he told himself.

  She shook her head, and the smile she gave him broke his fucking heart. “I could ruin everything, and it wouldn’t take anything at all.”

  She’s trying to fight this.

  “I owe you a lot, David. Not only because you were there for the Brian shit, but because after that you stuck by my side.”

  His heart beat faster at her admission.

  “I’ll always be here for you,” he said softly, their lips still inches apart.

  “When it seemed like I was breaking, like everyone around me was going in the other direction, you were always there.”

  If she really knew him, knew what he’d done and how close he’d really been to her, then she wouldn’t be looking at him with such gentleness right now.

  Then fucking tell her all of it.

  He was too afraid of losing her to say a damn word. And before anything else could be said he kissed her hard and deep, just wanting to forget anything that didn’t have to do with right here, right now.

  Chapter Ten

  David kissed her like she was about to leave him forever, like she’d just disappear and he’d never have this chance again. Everything else didn’t matter aside from this one moment and making Gillian feel good, making her see that he wanted her above all else. David couldn’t have walked away from her if a gun had been pressed to his head, but it seemed it didn’t matter because Gillian was moaning and kissing him back, just as fiercely.

  She speared her hands in his hair, tugged at the strands, and made these small noises in the back of her throat. He swallowed the sounds, needing more, and wanting her to surrender every part of herself to him. This was what he’d wanted from the moment he realized he couldn’t let her be with anyone else, that he wanted her as his own. It had been so fucking hard staying back, keeping his feelings in check, but right now none of that mattered.

  He took a step back, planning on taking her to the bedroom, because he couldn’t stop this, couldn’t stop what he wanted. And what he wanted was her under him, submitting in every way imaginable.

  “I don’t want you to let me go,” she whispered.

  He froze, looked down at her, and saw her eyes still closed, her mouth slightly parted. He moved his thumb along her bottom lip, pulled the soft, slightly damp flesh down, and watched it move back into place when he let go. She was so fucking beautiful, so pliant for him, giving, and not letting her inhibitions control her. Whatever happened when this was all over was still a mystery, but right now he could show her how precious she was to him, that he’d do anything for her, even kill without a second thought.

  “No way in fucking hell would I ever let you go, Gillian.”

  She opened her eyes and looked at him, the vulnerability right there at the surface. He cupped her cheek in his hand, tilting her head back an inch more. “You’re mine. You’ve always been mine.”

  Her breath hitched a bit, and he leaned down and took her mouth in a kiss again.

  She felt good in his arms, really fucking good, in fact, and he knew he wouldn’t be able to let her go.

  I can’t walk away from this again. I can’t hide what I want from her. Everything needs to be out in the open.

  But as he thought that, he heard her moans, her increased breathing, and all he could think about was making her feel good.

  Once he had claimed her, fucked her and let her know she was his, David wasn’t going to stop making her see she was his.

  But will she want you when you tell her everything? Will she want you when you reveal your dark secrets?

  After several seconds she broke the kiss and looked up at him. Her lips were swollen, red, and wet from their kissing. She didn’t speak for several moments, but he didn’t push her into saying anything she wasn’t ready to.

  Finally she exhaled and spoke. “There is a part of me that feels like what we’re doing is wrong, like it’ll all get ruined.” She looked at his lips, and he couldn’t hold back the groan.

  He could relate to what she felt. Hell, that was the reason he hadn’t even confessed what he wanted with her. “Is this what you want?” He stroked her cheek with his thumb.

  She nodded.

  “Does it scare you?”