“David?” Gillian said in a sleep-filled voice.

  He still looked at her as she slowly pushed herself up and looked at his side of the bed. She rubbed her eyes, her hair tussled, her cheeks still pink from their fucking.

  “I’m right here, baby,” he said and reached out to rub his hand along her foot that peeked out from under the sheet.

  “Is everything okay?” She was facing him now, the sheet at her waist, but still showing him a glimpse of the trimmed hair that covered her pussy.

  God, he could just tackle her to the bed and fuck her until she couldn’t even form a coherent word.

  But he didn’t answer her, just turned away and looked at where his hands were clasped together. The soft touch of her fingers on his back had him tensing, and he knew prolonging this was only going to make it that much worse, and that much harder.

  “We need to talk,” he spit the words out, angry with himself, but knowing what the right thing to do was. When she didn’t answer he looked at her over his shoulder, and saw this worried expression on her face.

  “Our relationship is ruined, isn’t it?”

  Fuck, he hated that she sounded so damn vulnerable right now.

  “You didn’t do anything wrong, baby.” He turned fully and pulled her close so she was nearly on his lap. He just held her, the sheet loosely wrapped around her body, her head resting on his shoulder.

  “I worried what we did ruined what we have.” She was tracing one of his tattoos, and he watched her finger go over the sharp edge that covered his forearm. “David?”

  “Yeah, baby?” He kept his voice low. She was silent for a moment longer than was probably normal, and he pulled back slightly. “Hey, are you okay?”

  She looked up at him and smiled, but she was nervous, he could tell. “I love you.” Her voice was soft, hesitant. “I’m in love with you, David.”

  His heart stopped, his gut grew tight, and he felt a happiness he’d never felt before. He cupped both of her cheeks and kissed her senseless. He kissed her until his lips were sore. When he pulled back it was to see her smiling, but she still had that tenseness about her.

  “I love you, too, baby.” He rested his forehead on hers and closed his eyes. “I’m so fucking in love with you.” She wrapped her arms around him, and for the longest time they just held each other. But he knew what had to be done. “And that’s why saying this is so damn hard.”

  ****

  Her heart was beating so hard and fast for a second Gillian wondered if it was possible to burst through her chest. She pulled the sheet more tightly around her body, shielding herself for whatever was to come, even if that ammunition was only words. Sometimes those hurt even more than a physical blow.

  For long seconds David didn’t speak. He hadn’t bothered to get dressed or cover his nudity, but clearly he had more important things to worry about.

  Is he going to tell me how wrong this all was? Is he going to say we should have time to ourselves, to really sort this all out?

  “You’re kind of freaking me out here,” she said softly, seeing the concentration, even the worry on his face. He reached out and took hold of her hand, gave it a gentle squeeze, and then exhaled as if preparing himself for what was to come.

  “I love you.” He looked right in her eyes. “I’m so fucking in love with you, have been for years, Gillian.”

  She felt herself ease, felt that pleasurable calm and happiness settle over her. Smiling, she gave his hand a squeeze back. “I feel the same way.” There was just a second of surprise that covered his face, but it was soon replaced by a dark look, one that took her back.

  “I want to be honest with you,” he said.

  She slowly nodded. “Okay.” She took her hand back and clasped it together with her other one.

  “I beat Brian because he fucked with you.”

  Gillian nodded. She really hoped they weren’t going to go down this road, because talking about that asshole after what they’d just done was not what she wanted to do.

  “And ever since then my feelings for you have grown.” He was silent for a second. “They’ve grown into dark manifestations, Gillian. They’ve become abnormal to anyone looking in.”

  She felt her eyebrows knit because of his words. “I don’t understand what that means.” He showed no emotion, and back in place was the David she’d know all these years.

  His gaze was right on her, and she breathed in and out slowly.

  “I was there tonight because I followed you.”

  For a second all she could do was replay his words in her head. “You followed me?” she asked with confusion in her voice. Had she heard him right?

  “I’ve been following you.” Another second of time passed. “I have been following you for years, but it’s because I love you so much, and am so fucking worried something will happen to you, that I’ve gone to those lengths.”

  Had he really just said what she thought he said? “You’ve been following me for years? Like … stalking me?” God, am I hearing this correctly? “When? How?” She shook her head. “I don’t understand any of this.”

  He reached out and tried to take her hand, but she pulled it back, so fucking confused. David exhaled and rubbed his hand over the back of his head, his bicep muscles flexing from the act. “I follow you, Gillian.” His voice had gone hard as he looked at her. “I know where you go, what time you’re home, at work, hell, when you fucking go to the grocery store. I know all of this because I’ve become obsessed with you, and the very thought of you hurt, of another Brian incident happening, makes me insane.”

  Her heart stopped as she processed what he said. David, the man she’d been in love with for so many years, the man that saved her from being raped, and the man she’d just given herself to, admitted to stalking her. Shaking her head, and trying to make sense of this, all she came up with was confusion and heartache. The fact he’d broken her trust by following her for all these years, dug right into her heart like a rusty blade.

  “I do what I do for you, Gillian. The very thought of you with another man sends me into a blind rage.”

  She pictured the instance with Brian, and now again with Gerald. “You hit Gerald because he kissed me, because you are—”

  “Because I love you, because you’re mine, only mine.” His voice had gone hard, his big body taut.

  “This isn’t right, David,” she whispered, searching for her clothing now.

  “Gillian,” he said her name and reached for her when she went to get off the bed, but she just kept shaking her head, not knowing what to think or do.

  “I just…” What in the hell was she supposed to say? Was she overreacting? Should she be okay with the fact David admitted to stalking her, watching her every move? Her clothes were in the hallway, and as much as she just wanted to leave and get her head on straight, escaping during this screwed up situation seemed almost wrong. But she turned and faced him, the sheet still wrapped around her. “Why did you wait until now to tell me this?” A horrible thought came into her mind, but she tried to push it back.

  “I was afraid telling you would drive us apart. I was afraid admitting the fucked up things I do would have you scared and running from me … like you are now.”

  Was she afraid of him?

  No, not afraid, just shocked, confused, and everything else in between.

  “I’m possessive of you, Gillian.” He stood, his big body still naked, and her own grew warm at that sight. “I won’t make any excuses, or be apologetic because of it.” He wasn’t hard, but that didn’t make his shaft any less impressive. The member was still a monster between his thighs. “I’d even go as far as to say I’m obsessed with you, so in love with you, Gillian, I can’t even think straight.” He took a step closer, and she lifted her gaze to his face. “You’re the only thing that matters to me, that takes up my very existence.”

  “Why tell me now, after the fact?”

  He stopped advancing. “After the fact.” He repeated it, but it wasn’t phrased like a question.

  “You waited until after we had sex. Why? Was that planned? Did you want a piece of ass first?” God, don’t cry, don’t be weak. But I’m so confused and feel so betrayed.

  He knitted his brows, his expression becoming darker. “How can you say that, think that?” His voice was so hard, hurt even.

  “I don’t know what to think anymore, David. The man I trusted more than anything else betrayed me. You’ve been following me, seeing my every move. You’ve invaded my privacy for years.” She felt her tears start to fall and wiped them away quickly.

  “Gillian, baby. Don’t cry.” He looked so pained that she wished she could just say fuck it all, forget about the fact the man she loved had been watching her, invading her privacy, and in a sense betraying her. How much had he seen?

  He admitted to watching everything and anything I ever did. He admitted it’s been going on for years.

  Looking at him once more, she turned and left the bedroom in search for her clothes. Once she had her pants and shirt back on, she turned to see David coming down the hall, now wearing a pair of unbuttoned jeans.

  “Gillian, baby, please,” he said and moved toward her, but she held her hand out, which had him stopping.

  “Please, David. Please just let me go so I can get my head on straight.” She saw his broad, muscular shoulders sag slightly, and then he finally nodded.

  “I won’t stop you, not because I want you to go, but because I know I fucked up. I know I screwed everything up, Gillian. But I love you, dammit, and I wanted you to know everything. I don’t want to keep lying to you.”

  She didn’t respond, and instead gave him one last lingering look before turning and leaving him standing in the living room.

  Chapter Thirteen

  Several days later

  It had only been a few days since she left David’s place, and although she knew that wasn’t any time at all, Gillian felt like it had been an eternity. She’d thought about the situation so much that she’d had a headache these last several days, and although common sense told her a man watching her, following her every move, was wrong on every level, she also knew she wanted to talk to David about it more. She did love him, was still in love with him even after all of this. Her feelings couldn’t just be ignored or swept under the rug because of this incident. But she did feel betrayed because he hadn’t been upfront with her.

  What am I going to do?

  Gillian loved David too much to just walk away from him and their friendship. She now knew how he felt, that he loved her as much as she loved him, but she couldn’t ignore the slightly twisted side of it all either.

  She hadn’t spoken to David since she left his house, and she knew him well enough, and the reason he hadn’t contacted her, was because he was respecting her wishes that she wanted this time to herself to think. But in the back of her mind she would look over her shoulder, wondering if he was watching her. She shouldn’t have felt anything but disgust and fear over that knowledge, but the truth was she didn’t feel any of that. She actually felt this calm settle over her at the fact David had loved her so much he wanted to make sure she was safe.

  Had he always been like that? Did he follow other people? Had the incident with Brian changed him so much?

  “God,” she whispered and scrubbed her hand over her face. Her cell went off, and she picked it up, seeing it was Gerald. She’d spoken to him only once in the last couple of days, mainly because she’d wanted to make sure he was okay after David attacked him. His nose had been broken, which she’d assumed given the hit he’d taken, but he said he was fine, and hadn’t spoken about David or that night during their phone call. In fact he’d wanted to see her again, but she’d declined because she had too much going on right now to go down that road.

  She couldn’t be with Gerald, not in any way. Their one date had been the catalyst to everything to come, and until she sorted shit out with David—with she desperately wanted to—she would keep declining. Hell, it was safer for Gerald anyway, and she didn’t want anything more with him. It wasn’t fair to him to leave him hanging when she knew what she wanted and what she didn’t want.

  For a moment she thought about ignoring the call, but on the fourth ring she answered.

  “Hello?”

  “Gillian, hey,” Gerald said in a smooth voice. “How are you?”

  “I’m fine. Your nose is still doing okay?” She felt so much guilt that she’d essentially been the cause of his issue, even if she knew David hitting him had nothing to do with her.

  “It’s fine. I’m fine.” A beat of silence passed. “You shouldn’t feel bad about it. It wasn’t your fault some psycho came out of nowhere and attacked me.”

  She bit her inner cheek, thinking about David and his admission to why he’d done what he’d done. Would she feel the things she was if he hadn’t followed her? What if he’d just showed up because he thought she was in trouble, like what he’d done with Brian? Did this whole situation seem so fucked up because he told her he knew where she was at all times?

  “Listen,” he said, and breathed out as if tired. “I’d like to see you. I don’t want what happened to make things weird. I really like you.”

  “Gerald—”

  “Don’t say no. I want to see you,” he said harder this time, and she exhaled. He was persistent, had been even before getting hit by David.

  “No really isn’t the best time, not with everything going on.” There was a bit of silence, and she felt bad. Had she upset him? Surely he could understand and respect what she wanted?

  “Is this because of what happened with that asshole?”

  She closed her eyes. “Gerald, I don’t want to talk about that—”

  “Are you in love with him or something, screwing him on the side?”

  She snapped her eyes open, taken back by this aggressive demeanor from him. “What the hell, Gerald?” He’d been pushy a few other times when she’d been in his presence, but this was ridiculous. “What I do and don’t do is none of your business.” She tried to sound calm, polite even, but she was done with this conversation. Her guilt over him getting hurt faded as her annoyance rose. Because of everything that had gone down, she wasn’t in the mood for anything but to sulk in her own thoughts and emotions.

  “Shit,” Gerald said, and a second of silence moved by. “Sorry, I guess this is all new to me, too.”

  New to him?

  “I’m not sure what that means, but I just need to be alone right now and get my head on straight. I hope you understand.”

  “No problem.” His voice had gone a little harder, like maybe he was annoyed, or hurt? She didn’t have the energy to care about this situation at the moment. She’d done everything to try to keep this polite, but the way he was acting was very off-putting. “I’ll talk to you soon.” And then he hung up.

  She pulled the phone away and looked down at it. Ever since she met Gerald at the art show she’d felt this off-ness about it. But he’d been nice, had showed her attention, and she knew that she needed to get a life and go out and enjoy herself. Hell, she could use the stereotypical “he’s just an artist” excuse as to Gerald’s eccentric attitude, but the way he acted now kind of made her feel like he might be an all around asshole deep down.

  You’re just in a shitty spot right now mentally that you’re looking too hard into things.

  Resting back on the couch, she set her phone beside her and stared at the wall. She loved David so much, and even after she found out what he did her feelings couldn’t be changed. Maybe she needed to talk to him about this, to really know why he’d done what he’d done, even though he’d given her a vague explanation. She did all but run out of there, and hadn’t given him a chance to talk.

  “Ugh,” she said and rubbed her face with her hands, not knowing what in the hell to do.

  ****

  David was fucking pissed at himself. He was the one that screwed this all up, and these last few days had been absolute hell. He hadn’t tried contacting Gillian because he wanted her to have time to gather her thoughts. He also wanted to have a chance to come up with what in the hell he was going to do about this. David couldn’t let her walk away, couldn’t have her out of his life. She was everything to him, his entire world, and he needed to make this right.

  But where do I even start?

  He sat at the table, a full, sealed bottle of alcohol in front of him. He’d contemplated drinking the whole damn thing the night she walked out, but he hadn’t touched a drop, and wanted to have a clear head as he tried to work this out. Pushing the bottle away, he leaned back in the chair and exhaled, wanting to pick up the phone and call the only woman he’d ever truly loved. Maybe he was a fucking coward for how things had played out, and for what he was doing now, but he was scared shitless to lose Gillian.

  Doing nothing will definitely have her out of your life. Try to win her back, you fucker.

  Feeling resolve, and knowing he’d have to change a part of himself in order to make Gillian trust him again, he knew he had to see her, to make her realize that he’d be whatever he needed to be in order to keep her in his life.

  Because a world without her in it was pretty fucking bleak.

  Chapter Fourteen

  Gillian juggled the groceries in her hand, and tried to get the house keys from her purse. After just sitting on the couch and stewing in her own annoyance, she decided getting out, even if for just grocery shopping, would at least help clear her head.

  It hadn’t.

  Setting the bags down when she got to the front door, she started digging through her purse, and cursing when she couldn’t find her keys. But the sound of someone pulling into her driveway had her turning around. A sigh left her when she saw it was Gerald. He cut the engine and just stared at her through the windshield for a second before finally getting out.