“He likes you,” she said in disbelief.

  “Gee, you sound so surprised. I’m flattered,” Britt said, laughing and placing her hand on Tess’s jaw. “You’ve got some sort of pulsing thing going on here. Just relax.”

  She rubbed the tension out of Tess’s clenched jaw and slowly moved until she was massaging the sensitive area where her neck and shoulder met. Tess’s tension was draining away under Britt’s touch, replaced by a slow wave of arousal.

  She rested her hands on Britt’s hips and pulled her closer until their bodies were in contact from thighs to breasts. “I’m not surprised because of you, but because of me. I never imagined I would bring a…” Tess hesitated. Kelly had used the word girlfriend, and Tess hadn’t minded. She didn’t know how Britt would react, though. “A woman here that he would approve of.”

  “Sometimes the point is just to get along peacefully for an evening, not to come to an agreement about the meaning of life.” Britt laid her palms flat against Tess’s chest, just below her collarbones. “Maybe let him teach you how to play his video game sometime. The two of you will probably never bond on a deep philosophical level, but you can still connect in little ways.”

  Tess wasn’t sure about turning water buckets into shields, but she got the point. Her alternative was to go back to Olympia when she was done with her research and lose contact with her family again. That had been her intention from the start, but she wasn’t convinced it was still what she wanted. She sighed and wrapped her arms around Britt’s waist, hugging her close.

  “It’s funny,” she said, her breath ruffling Britt’s hair as she spoke. “When we first met, you seemed like the lost soul, and I was positive I had life all figured out. I’m starting to wonder if I was the lost one.”

  Britt laughed, and Tess felt the gentle vibrations move through her. “I’m probably a bad influence on you, with all my indecision and doubt.”

  Tess held Britt’s shoulders and moved her a few inches away so she could look her in the eyes. “Exactly the opposite. No matter what you decide to do next, you’ll always be the type of person who is constantly asking questions, wanting to dig deeper and learn more. You helped me realize that I needed to ask some questions myself.”

  Kelly cleared her throat to get their attention, and Britt jumped backward and out of Tess’s arms.

  “We’re ready to eat, Tess. Can you get Dad to the table?” Kelly made a shooing motion at her—apparently meaning for Tess to get moving—and disappeared into the kitchen again.

  “I’ll help get the food out,” Britt said, ducking around Tess.

  Tess caught her arm before she got too far away. “Everything but the gravy is vegetarian,” she said. “Well, and the turkey.”

  Britt smiled her thanks before walking away. Tess went back into her dad’s room.

  “How do I get away from these trolls?” he asked without turning away from the screen. “They have magic bicycles and I can’t run fast enough.”

  “I have no idea,” Tess said.

  He looked over at her. “Oh, I thought you were Britt. I’ll ask her about the trolls at dinner.”

  He paused the game and started to shift his legs off the bed. Tess went to his side and put her arm around him, ready to lift, but he didn’t move right away.

  “I think she’s nice,” he said, looking in the direction of his closet and not directly at her.

  “I think so, too.”

  He gave her an awkward pat on the shoulder and let her help him off the bed.

  * * *

  It was the oddest Thanksgiving Tess had ever spent with her family. Not just because of the lack of arguments. They had usually managed to get through the holiday without too much fighting, mainly because everyone stayed apart until it was time to eat. Her dad would watch football, her mom would cook, and Kelly and Tess would alternate who was in her room and who was helping their mother in the kitchen, swapping places every half hour or so. This Thanksgiving was different because they stayed together, orbiting around Britt.

  Tess stayed on the outskirts, hovering close in case Britt needed her but watching in fascination as Britt charmed her entire family without even trying. She laughed with Kelly and her mom, answered her dad’s endless and annoying questions about the stupid video game, and even got Justin to describe every type of dinosaur to her.

  Tess wouldn’t have minded if they had liked Britt a little less, though. Just enough less so they had a little time together without everyone clamoring for her attention. After their hug in the hallway, Tess only managed to sneak a quick kiss when she showed Britt her old bedroom—until Justin burst in with yet another dinosaur to show her—and to sit close enough to touch on the couch while Kelly played the guitar at the end of the night.

  She walked Britt out to her car when the evening was over, and they stood facing each other on the small patch of sheltered driveway while the rain dripped heavily off the edge of the garage roof.

  Britt hooked her finger around the top button of Tess’s shirt and popped it open. She lowered her head and brushed a featherlight kiss over the skin she had exposed, and Tess bit her lip to keep from moaning out loud.

  “Are you tired?” Britt asked. “Or do you think you could find the energy to come back to my cabin later?”

  “I’m exhausted,” Tess said, sliding her hand through Britt’s hair. “I think I’d rather get some sleep.”

  Britt laughed and backed into the rain. “Hurry,” she said.

  Tess watched long enough for Britt to get in her car and drive out of sight before she ran back into the house.

  Chapter Twenty-one

  Britt opened the kitchen window in her cabin. Its western exposure meant she could have the sounds of the ocean come through unmuffled by glass without worrying about being flooded by rain. The wind blew in misty droplets that dotted the countertop and chilled the air in the cabin, but she just added another layer of clothes.

  She had found that the rhythmic waves helped her think, but at the moment she was trying to use the steady beat of the surf to distract her from thinking too much. Tonight she just wanted to feel. She wanted to burn the sensation of being with Tess onto her skin and into her mind so she would be able to remember every moment with her once Britt moved on.

  She had already told Chris she was going to leave. He had seemed sad to have her go—probably because she was one of the few guests at the lodge and the only customer he ever seemed to have in his store. Jim had given her a hug good-bye, and Alec had told Chris to be sure to check the signature on her credit card to make sure she hadn’t stolen it. Sentimental old fool.

  Britt sighed and dropped onto the couch. She was going to miss her tiny cabin, with its ugly plaid sofa and magnificent view. And she’d miss playing Scrabble with the guys and hearing Chris suggest increasingly bizarre ways for her to retrieve her soul. She’d miss the beach and Karla, but not the grilled cheese sandwiches.

  And she’d miss Tess most of all. Britt hadn’t fully made the decision to give in to her desire and be with Tess until she made the choice to leave this place. She was the one who had initially refused to consider a date with Tess because she didn’t want a casual fling, but now there was nothing casual about it. She was going to be heartsick when she left, but she would hurt worse if she stayed, either stifling her attraction to Tess or being with her and having Tess walk away afterward.

  An even scarier thought was having Tess offer her more than her usual short-term relationship. What would happen to Britt then? She’d have her future mapped out for her, delineated by someone else’s dreams. She hadn’t gone through the ordeal of leaving her job and home just to be plugged into another person’s life.

  Fortunately, Tess would make no such offer.

  Britt bounced back up and looked through the window next to the front door, watching for Tess’s car even though she knew it was too soon to see her. Tess had to help clean up after their meal, and then get her dad settled. Then she’d come here. Britt picked up her book to pass the time, but she couldn’t focus on more than a sentence or two before thinking of Tess again.

  Eventually, she started to shiver even with her heaviest shirts on, and she reluctantly closed the kitchen window just as she heard a knock at the door. She smiled as she opened it and saw Tess standing on her porch with her hair soaking wet from either the rain or a recent shower.

  “Come in quick, before you freeze,” she said, stepping aside.

  Tess kissed her on the mouth as she walked past and into the cabin. She stood in the small room and rubbed her arms. “It’s just as cold in here as it is outside.”

  “I had the window open. It should warm up soon. In the meantime, we should get your wet layers off.” Britt walked over to Tess and unzipped her jacket, sliding it off her shoulders and tossing it onto a kitchen chair.

  “My jeans are wet, too,” Tess said with a wicked grin. She left her soggy shoes by the door and sat on the couch.

  “I should hope so.” Britt grabbed the quilt off the bed and settled down next to Tess. She covered them both with the quilt and curled close to her.

  Tess wrapped her arms around Britt and kissed her temple. “Thank you for coming tonight. My dad told me to bring you back for another visit soon, but I think he has an ulterior video-game-related motive. When I left the house, he was shouting something about trolls stealing his antigravity boots.”

  “He should know not to wear them in front of trolls. Jeez.” Britt sighed. Tess’s dad apparently didn’t have much common sense.

  “You have a standing invitation for Christmas dinner, by the way.” Tess poked her finger through a hole in the cuff of Britt’s flannel shirt. “Remember when we first met? Your clothes were so new they still had tags on them. Now you look like a local.”

  “I snagged it when I was climbing the big rock at the end of the beach,” Britt said absently, with most of her attention fixated on Tess’s first sentence.

  “Tess, I won’t be here for Christmas.”

  Tess looked at her, and her hand grew still where it rested on Britt’s wrist. “Are you going to spend the holidays with your dad? Or are you going back to Seattle?”

  “Neither. I’m not sure where I’m going, but it’s not just for Christmas. It’s for good. I guess I’m feeling restless and ready to find someplace new. I haven’t found any answers here, so I’ll look elsewhere.”

  Tess placed her hand over Britt’s chest. “The answers are in here, Britt. Not in a place outside you. Give yourself more time to think.”

  “I am,” Britt said. “But somewhere else. I’m getting too settled here, but I don’t have real purpose to my days. If I get too attached, or too comfortable in my rut, I’ll lose the incentive to find my way.”

  She covered Tess’s hand with her own and pressed it close to her heart. Tess dropped her forehead onto their joined hands and used her other arm to pull Britt tightly against her. Britt draped her legs over Tess’s thighs.

  “Stay, please,” Tess said. “We can get a place together near the marine center, and you can be part of the research team if you want. You’ll love seeing the orcas out at sea and hearing their voices. You pick up new ideas so quickly—I’ll bet you’ll have plenty of insights to share. Just give us more time.”

  “Time until what? The inevitable boredom arrives?” Britt knew her voice sounded bitter, but she had no reason to be angry at Tess. She was angry with herself for being tempted by the offers both to live with Tess in a temporary home and to experience the excitement of learning more about the killer whales. She took a deep breath and tried to soften the harshness of her words. “We both know this won’t last. You’ve been clear about that from the beginning. I’m not going to wait around until you decide you’re ready to move to someone new, or until you go back to Olympia where you have plenty more options than you have around here. I can handle this, but only if I know the expiration date ahead of time.”

  “And what is the date you’ve picked?”

  Britt closed her eyes. “Tomorrow.”

  Tess grew very still and quiet.

  “You wanted something temporary,” Britt said, breaking the silence between them. She knew her tone was unnecessarily defensive, but she was fighting to protect something vital to her. Her choices, her future. Still, she couldn’t have pulled away from Tess’s embrace if she’d tried. She had no idea how she’d find the strength to leave tomorrow.

  “Yes. I did.”

  “And that’s what I’m giving you. But I’m also giving myself the chance to walk away with some dignity.”

  Britt felt the tension in Tess as she struggled with her private thoughts, and she also felt the moment when Tess gave in. A sigh rippled through her and she enfolded Britt in her arms, gathering her close and kissing her softly on the neck.

  “Okay, then. We should make the most of tonight.” Tess punctuated her sentence with a kiss that turned into a gentle bite.

  Britt shuddered, shocked by the way Tess had managed to replace Britt’s anxiety with arousal in an instant. She tilted her head, and Tess buried her hands in Britt’s hair, her kisses growing more insistent. She licked Britt’s neck, nipped at her chin, and then captured her mouth.

  This was nothing like the delicate kiss they’d shared in the car after their date. She had been aroused by Tess’s touch then, but now desire rocked through Britt with every stroke of Tess’s tongue. She shifted, straddling Tess’s thighs and pressing against her, praying Tess wouldn’t ask her to stay again, because right now, Britt would promise her anything. Everything.

  She slid her hands under Tess’s shirt and fitted them around the curve of her shoulders. Too many clothes. No time to take them off. Britt felt Tess’s hands on her hips, pulling and releasing until the rhythm of breaths, bodies, and tongues were synchronized. Britt gasped, feeling the pressure of tears behind her eyes. After months of feeling wrong, this finally felt right.

  Tess’s hand was on her belly, stroking her skin under her shirt, dipping below the edge of her jeans. Fumbling to undo the buttons and reach past denim and cotton. Then Tess was touching her, joining her fingers to the rhythm set by their kiss.

  Britt pushed against Tess’s hand, desperate for faster, harder, more. She was determined to drive Tess to the edge, and triumphant when she felt Tess moan against her mouth. Her body attuned to Tess, sensing what she needed, changing her movements, until Tess cried out as she came. Britt’s own orgasm took her by surprise, following Tess’s as naturally as cause and effect.

  She rested her head against Tess’s shoulder as she caught her breath and slowly released the grip she’d had on the back of the couch. She was surprised she hadn’t torn out handfuls of stuffing.

  Tess stirred beneath her and removed her hand from down the front of Britt’s jeans. She kissed Britt’s cheek and nestled her close. “Yes, this would get boring very quickly.”

  “Inevitably,” Britt said with a weak laugh. Maybe in a million years, she thought, but she kept her opinion to herself.

  She heard a whisper inside, asking how could she walk away from Tess? And an even louder shout, demanding how could she not? Leaving tomorrow was going to shatter her, but it would be much worse if she waited. Already she had a hard time chasing away thoughts of forever, even though she had been well aware of the deal she had made with Tess.

  The muscles in her legs began to grow stiff, and she climbed off Tess’s lap and sat beside her, but the warmth she had felt while they were melded together quickly began to dissipate in the cold room. The quilt had fallen on the floor at some point, and Britt picked it up and spread it over them again.

  She had to stop thinking about leaving Tess, or she’d never stop shivering.

  * * *

  Tess felt Britt tremble and she sat up, tucking the quilt snugly around Britt. She went over to the heater and turned it up a few degrees before taking off her rain-dampened jeans and tossing them on the chair with her jacket. She sat down on the bed, and Britt came over to join her. They rummaged under the quilt, shedding various articles of clothing, and soon were wrapped around each other again with no clothing barriers between them. The skin-to-skin contact warmed Tess more than any heater or flannel shirt could.

  She should have felt even more aroused on the bed than she had when they were fully dressed on the couch, since she now had Britt’s inner thigh draped across her legs, and her hand was drawing slow circles around Tess’s navel, but Tess had too many thoughts racing through her mind. They had been kept at bay by sex, but now threatened to overwhelm her. Even the involuntary act of breathing became manual, and Tess kept needing to remind herself to inhale again after every exhale.

  She had finally found someone who made her want to plan for a future, and that person had decided to have sex with her and leave town the next day. She was sure Cara and Lenae—as well as some of her past dates—would relish the irony of her situation. Tess didn’t. The crazy part was, Britt thought she was giving Tess exactly what she wanted, when in fact it was the complete opposite. Tess had protested. Somewhat. But she hadn’t mentioned the word love or made a dramatic effort to get Britt to stay.

  As soon as she had heard herself tell Britt she could help with Tess’s research, she had realized what a mistake she was making. Not because she didn’t believe Britt would be an insightful member of the team—naturally she would be—but because she had been steering Britt toward Tess’s passion, not hers. She was no better than Cammie or Britt’s ex-boss, or even her own parents, if she tried to overshadow Britt’s search for her place in the world. Tess had to back away and let her go, hoping that maybe, someday, Britt might come back. She had never allowed thoughts of next week to permeate her dating life, and here she was thinking in terms of months, possibly years down the road, with no guarantees included.