So far as I knew, I had endured broken ribs, a small fracture in my skull, hematomas, both eyes swollen two or three times each, a couple of cracked and missing teeth in the front, a fractured nose, a fractured cheekbone, and at least one broken finger on my right hand. I had been drugged up so much that I had pissed and shitted on myself numerous times. I had been injected with a sickness that had caused my body to swell up like I was pregnant and still made my lungs feel like they were on fire every time I did any kind of rigorous activity. I had been sexually abused at whim for weeks.

  It was really a wonder that I was still alive. I chalked it up to God wanting me to get my revenge—or why else would I have made it through all of this alive. I was all messed-up and I refused to look in a mirror to see just how ugly I had become, but I was still alive. I could feel the raised scars still on my neck and left cheek—remnants of the slicing I had taken from those first chicks that jumped me and started all of this shit. It was apparent without even looking in the mirror that I was no longer pretty Misty Heiress. I felt the scratches and scars on my face. I even felt the lumps too. I would never be considered pretty again, and that was final.

  The girl came back almost every day to check on me. “I wanted to make sure you were okay, Misty. You haven’t been yourself, and I overheard them saying they might transfer you back down. You have to perk up,” the girl told me. “You can’t let them take you back down there. I’m so scared for you.”

  I was hanging on her every word, trying to find out what she knew. I realized that I needed to get to know her better.

  “What is your name?” I finally asked her. “You’ve been talking to me for days now, and I don’t even know your name.”

  “Lena,” she said. “I remember when you first got here, they were taking me away. I never forget a face.”

  “Tell me what happened to you—if it’s not too hard for you to talk about,” I said.

  “When they first took me, it was just to give me injections. Then I’d come back sick and they’d test out medicines on me. But that quickly changed when Dr. Clemons came around. Under him, they did unnatural things to me sexually and abused me with all types of objects. Sometimes when they brought me back, I couldn’t even recognize my own face because I would fight back every time they touched me. The man behind all of this got upset because it caused him to lose a lot of money when the doctors wouldn’t take me anymore. He told them he would make an example of me for the other girls, just in case they tried to do the same thing. So, one day, he gathered all of the girls in the dorm, stripped me in front of all of them, and . . .” Lena started crying hard as she told me exactly what happened to her.

  I was crying too; her pain and sadness was getting to me. I could only imagine how she felt.

  “He beat me like a slave. When I could not stand up anymore, he beat me on the floor. My body was bloody, and I screamed from the pain. All of the girls watching were crying. I was the example of what they’d get. After he got tired of beating me, he left me in a bloody heap and forbid any of the girls there from helping me. I stayed like that for two days, lying in my own waste, until a nurse finally came and helped me,” Lena spat out. She was crying, but I could tell she was very angry and wanted revenge for what had happened to her.

  “Oh my God. I’m so sorry,” I said in a low voice.

  Lena started wiping her face quickly, like she didn’t want me or anyone else to see her crying. She started looking around frantically and her voice went lower. I figured out that she must’ve known they were watching us and didn’t want them to hear her telling me her harrowing story.

  “Misty, I know you have people helping you. I saw it when they brought you in here. I know that CO doesn’t work this unit. I picked up on it. I’m just asking that if you get out of here and get some help, don’t leave us all for dead. Make sure people know what is going on in here. Make sure you try to save us and remember the things you’ve been through in here. If no one ever knows, we will never get saved,” Lena told me.

  I immediately felt guilty that I had Anderson and Lisa to help me. I couldn’t think like that now. I had to think of self-preservation first, and then if I saved myself, I could help someone else. Right now, my first priority was getting out of this place.

  The next day, Lisa showed up without Anderson. She woke me up as if she was there for the regular stuff she did as part of her job. My heart started racing, because I could see in her eyes that this was going to be the day. It was just a glint, but I caught on quickly.

  Lisa led me into the bathroom and turned the water in the shower stalls on, full blast. All of a sudden, she was acting like she had before whenever she just bathed me and got me ready for whatever unit I was moving to. My high feeling suddenly crashed. I couldn’t afford for Lisa to turn on me now. Not again. I was confused at first about her change of attitude, but she gave me a look with her eyes and then I kind of caught on to what she was doing.

  Lisa had to play it off like we were going through the official motions. She had turned on the water so whoever was watching us on camera would not hear us talking. I had been wondering why Lisa was speaking so closely in my ears. I quickly caught on and just started playing along with her. Lisa kept the water running as she spoke to me.

  “We are going to help you get out of here, but we are risking ourselves, so it’s important that you get the story out right away so that nothing happens to those of us who are left here,” Lisa said. “I want every doctor and every person involved to be held accountable. I don’t care if we have to burn this place down. It needs to be done. I can’t stand by and watch all of this disgusting shit any longer. I was forced to be a part of it, but no more.”

  I stood with my mouth wide open. I couldn’t believe what this lady was saying to me. She was really hell-bent on revenge if she wanted to risk helping me again. I was sure that she knew they were watching us with their eagle eye.

  “How will you be able to get me out? They are watching me, and you will get yourself killed. That doctor is a sick person and he kills people,” I told her.

  Although I was very concerned for real, I was also growing kind of excited inside as my mind immediately started racing with thoughts of me making a run for it and getting to my mother on the outside.

  Lisa put her fingers up to her lips to shush my questions. Then she signaled me to get into the shower. Once again, she was watching me take a shower and had turned back to being all business.

  Lisa was silent for a long while as she and I both went through the motions to make it look like official business was going on. I took her cue and did as I was told. I didn’t want to mess up any chances with her and make it where she wouldn’t help me. When I was done, she returned me to the dorm.

  “I’ll be back later. It is going to happen tonight,” Lisa whispered.

  “I’ll be waiting. Please don’t let me down. Mentally, I might not be able to survive it if you do,” I said meaningfully. I was dead serious too, because I needed her more than she knew.

  16

  MOTIVATED TO MURDER

  “Hold her legs open!” Dr. Clemons demands.

  Two of his orderlies rush over and hold me down. I am writhing and flailing, but I am no match for them.

  Then Lisa comes over with a wicked smile on her face.

  “Lick that pussy. Turn her out,” Dr. Clemons commands right before Lisa plants her head between my legs.

  “Anything for you,” Lisa groans.

  I was jolted out of a nightmare by a frantic voice and my body being shaken roughly.

  “Wake up! Misty! Wake up!” a girl named Dana cried frantically. She was one of the inmates on the dorm.

  I jumped out of my sleep, covered in sweat and unaware where I was at first. “Wha-what the hell . . . ,” I grumbled, my mind completely fuzzy with sleep.

  “She looks dead!” Dana said in a panic. “I think she’s dead!”

  “Who? What? What’s going on?” I asked, my heart racing. My head immediately started pounding from being jolted awake like that. I felt dizzy and off balance, and the room started spinning a little bit. That was one thing I hated, being jolted awake violently like that. I was convinced that could make me have a heart attack and die.

  “Come with me,” Dana said, grabbing my arm and practically dragging me out of the bed. “I don’t know if she’s going to make it. I’m so scared right now.”

  “Who? Who are you talking about?” I asked, my voice going up a few octaves. She wasn’t telling me anything, but she kept repeating the same thing. Dana didn’t say shit; she just held on to my arm and dragged me over to the person she was talking about.

  My eyes popped open when I saw Lena lying on the bed. Her body was limp; she was bleeding a little from her nose; and, honestly, she looked halfway dead. I immediately felt sick. I had had enough of seeing dead bodies in my lifetime. I had just talked to Lena, so seeing her like that made my blood run cold.

  “Shit,” I gasped, and threw my hand up to my mouth afterward. I didn’t know shit about CPR. I couldn’t even help her if I wanted to.

  “Lena! Wake up! Please wake up!” Dana cried. This time, she shook Lena’s body.

  “What the fuck?” I asked, moving to Lena’s other side. “How did this happen? What’s going on?” I asked frantically. “Do you know CPR? Is she breathing? We have to help her.” My words were rushing out of my mouth in rapid succession, fast like how my mind raced.

  “How could he do this to her and just dump her in here like this? She’s unconscious,” Dana said, exasperated. “I want this motherfucker to die, I swear. Somebody has to stop this shit. He is getting away with murder . . . literally. I can’t stand it anymore. All of these fucking CO and nurses and administrators just let him get away with all of this bullshit.”

  “She’s still breathing,” I said, after I had put my hand on Lena’s stomach and felt faint movement up and down. “We can call for help. They have to help her. They can’t just leave her to die like this. Let’s call someone.” I went to move, but Dana grabbed my arm violently.

  “No!” Dana exclaimed. “Are you crazy? These motherfuckers don’t care about us at all. They’ll kill her this time. Just like they did Shanta and Carrie and Sheila. We have to help her ourselves. I don’t trust those bastards! We have to take turns sitting up and watching her until she wakes up. At least she is breathing and her heart is beating,” Dana said. She grabbed Lena’s hand and gave a soft squeeze. “C’mon, girl. C’mon. You have a lot to live for.”

  I moved over and grabbed Lena’s left hand. I kneeled by her bedside. “Just make it through this, Lena, and I swear we will get our revenge on that bastard, Dr. Clemons. We will fucking get him back. We will go after everyone in here who has ever hurt us, but you have to make it through this,” I spoke to Lena softly as I held her hand tightly.

  It was as if Dana and I looked over at the same time and noticed another girl named Fiona watching us intently. Fiona sat on her bunk across from where we were and she had a pen and a legal notepad. Dana looked over at her like she was crazy.

  “Our friend is in a fucking coma and dying, with no way to get her real help, and you’re writing a story?” Dana snapped. “I will fuck you up if you’re planning on snitching. Put that fucking pen and paper away. There is nothing for you to write about, you dumb bitch.” Dana was losing control now.

  “I’m writing a plan,” Fiona said evenly. “We need a plan of revenge. We need to study and plan it out. Nothing can be done without a plan. We can talk all we want, but if we don’t plan it out, it’s just talk,” Fiona said, tears streaming down her face.

  That seemed to calm Dana down a little bit. “Just write a plan on how we are going to help Lena,” Dana said, her voice going softer.

  “She will wake up,” I said with feeling. “We don’t need to write no plan. We just need to pray. She’s going to make it through this, and everything is going to work out fine. Trust me,” I said, but I didn’t even believe it myself. My heart was hurting for Lena. This was all too much. This prison was too much. I had a hundred thoughts on how I could take the whole shit down.

  I got chills when I heard footsteps tramping toward us. Dana’s eyes went wide too.

  “Hey! Inmates, get back to your bunks, now!” a burly CO shouted at us.

  “I’m not leaving her side,” Dana shot back.

  When I saw several more COs arrive and start closing in on us, I touched Dana’s arm.

  “Let’s move for now. We can’t afford for them to take us out of here. She won’t stand a chance if they do,” I said. “As soon as things die down, we can come back over to her. We just can’t afford to make waves right now. For her safety and ours.”

  Dana listened, but reluctantly. She let go of Lena’s hand and eyed the COs evilly. I did the same. Those COs were just as complicit in all of the abuse as the doctor and his flunkies. Everyone knew that Lena was unconscious after she had just been returned from a “session” with Dr. Clemons. They’d dumped her in the bed like a dog.

  What I didn’t understand was, why hadn’t they hidden her in those dungeons like they had done me? The only conclusion I could make was they wanted to send a message to the rest of us once we saw Lena’s condition. This had been done on purpose. Maybe they had found out Lena was talking to me about what had happened to Shanta. There were a million and one thoughts crossing my mind.

  We might have been forced to leave Lena’s side, but it didn’t stop us from sneaking to check on her and making sure she was still breathing every time the COs turned their backs for even a minute. Finally, during one of the times I went over, I saw Lena’s eyes flutter open.

  “Lena? Can you hear me?” I asked excitedly.

  Lena’s lips parted into a small smile, which made my insides warm up with happiness. She looked like shit, but that smile was worth a million dollars in my eyes. She lifted her hand weakly and extended it toward me.

  “Where have you been? That must’ve been an awesome dream. I thought you would never come out of it,” I asked, trying to make light of a serious situation. I held on to her hand and squeezed it reassuringly.

  Dana rushed over too. We didn’t care about those COs and their rules at that moment. We were just happy to see that Lena was alive and back to reality. I seriously thought we might have lost her forever.

  “He will die,” Lena croaked in a barely audible voice. She closed her eyes again and I saw small tears coming from the corners. “He can’t get away with this. He has to die.”

  “Who? What?” I asked. My face was folded into a deep frown. That was an odd thing to say the first time you woke up after being out of it.

  “Clemons. All of them will have to die. We will kill them all. I saw it in my dreams. I know it,” Lena said, her voice becoming a little bit stronger. “He’s going to die,” Lena said with more fervor. She tried to sit up, but she immediately fell back down onto the bed. Her body was in too much of a weakened state.

  I knew exactly how she felt. I’d been there numerous times since they’d started on me.

  “Don’t try to sit up. Just relax,” I told her.

  “No, I have to get out of here. There’s a car waiting for me. I have to leave so that I won’t be here when he dies,” Lena said, the tone in her voice weird.

  I looked at Dana strangely. We exchanged looks that said Lena was bugging out. It didn’t change the fact that we were just happy that she was alive.

  “Listen, you’ve been out of it. You must’ve been dreaming,” Dana said, smiling. “It was all a dream, Lena, but trust me, one day it might be a reality if he keeps it up. Somebody is going to get their payback one day. Karma is not to be messed with,” Dana continued.

  “Yes, if there is one thing I know, it’s that karma is a bitch that serves revenge with fire and fury. Everything comes back and in full circle,” I said, speaking from experience.

  Lena blinked rapidly and shook her head a little bit, trying to get herself right. She touched my hand and smiled. “You’re going to be karma and get it done for all of us. I have faith in you, Misty. It’s your purpose . . . to save us,” she said. Her voice was almost like a prophecy and it scared the shit out of me.

  * * *

  Lisa returned in the middle of the night during the change of shift. It was the perfect time, because the COs were basically absent while new COs came on board.

  “Misty,” Lisa whispered.

  My eyes shot open. I had been sleeping very lightly—partly because I was waiting for her or Anderson to return. But mostly it was because I was prepared to fight to the death if Dr. Clemons sent for me again.

  “It’s time,” Lisa said.

  My heart sped up and I sprang up in the bed like someone had put springs on my ass. Forget the sleep cobwebs in my mind; I was tasting my escape before it even happened. It was a good adrenaline rush like I hadn’t experienced in a long while.

  “Listen to me. Someone is going to come from facilities. Do what he says, exactly and to the letter, or this won’t work. I am giving you a stun gun, just in case you have to use it at some point. Do not lose it,” Lisa whispered.

  My eyes grew wide. In case I had to use it? Ain’t your plan solid? My nerves were bad from her saying that. It didn’t sound like she was too confident I’d get out of there, or why else would I need a weapon?

  “Why would I need that?” I asked. “Isn’t this plan foolproof?”

  “Nothing is foolproof, Misty. I can only make a plan, but anything can go wrong. You need to cooperate and be smart. I can lead you, but just so far. Now I am giving the stun gun to you, but you have to follow my plan closely. We are going to pray for the best and that you’ll get out without using it. But, if not, don’t be scared to use it to protect yourself,” Lisa told me.

  My heart was racing as I thought about the possibility of getting caught and having to use that stun gun. Not only would I probably get killed, but Lisa would surely be murdered for helping me. Lisa continued to act like she was just doing her rounds. I can’t front; she was smart. I didn’t really fully understand why she was risking it all to help me, but in any case, I was grateful.