“Oh.” Hunter exhaled, and his neck and shoulders slowly relaxed as if he’d been bracing himself for something. “I guess you would get it, wouldn’t you?”

  I nodded. “Maybe not to the same degree, but I can probably empathize more than most people. So no, I wasn’t going to stop booking you after last time.” I paused. “Unless you’d rather I didn’t book you?”

  “No,” he said quickly, shaking his head. “No, absolutely not. I was just surprised, that’s all.” His smile came back, this time with some self-assuredness that made my knees weak. “But now that I’m here…” He quirked an eyebrow.

  I gulped. “I, um… Maybe we should…” I motioned toward the stairs.

  Hunter’s smile turned into a grin, and oh, yeah, I was glad I’d hired him tonight. Whatever we were going to do once we made it into my bedroom—yes, please.

  I made an after you gesture, and I followed him up the stairs. It was a genuine miracle I didn’t trip—this man seriously had a gorgeous ass.

  In the bedroom, I nudged the door closed. I wasn’t even sure why; there wasn’t another soul in this house, but somehow I felt less exposed with the door shut.

  Hunter and I stripped out of our clothes, and my heart went into overdrive as we slid into my bed. My gaze went straight to his full lips. Good God, I wanted to kiss him.

  So do it. What are you waiting for?

  No. Not… Well, not yet. I’d spent hours lying in bed and wondering how soft his lips would be against mine. I wanted it so bad I could almost literally taste it.

  But now that we were here in my bed and I had the opportunity…

  Not yet.

  Frustrated with myself but hungry for him, I went for his neck instead, and his soft moan was almost enough to cancel out that frustration. I couldn’t bring myself to kiss him on the mouth yet, but I could absolutely turn him on like this.

  “Jesus fuck,” he murmured. He carded his fingers through my hair, the gentle touch making me shiver so hard my breath caught. His hand stopped. “You okay?”

  I laughed, lifting my head to meet his gaze. “Yeah. Just, uh… It’s been a long time since someone’s touched me like that.”

  “Oh. But you like it?”

  I nodded.

  He did it again, and I closed my eyes and pressed into his hand, not even caring if it was stupid for a grown man to be this caught up in something as simple as a guy running his fingers through his hair.

  In fact, it made me want more. If I was going to come out of this shell or closet or whatever the hell it was, I wanted to come all the way out, even if it meant some giant leaps here and some baby steps there.

  “I’ve, um…” Swallowing hard, I avoided his gaze as my nerves tried to derail me. “I’d really like…”

  “Tell me,” he said softly.

  I tried to convince my heart to slow down, but that was pointless. “I… I’ve literally only given head once in my life.” Cautiously, I met his eyes. “I have no idea if I’m any good at it, but…”

  “But you want to give it a try tonight?”

  I nodded, wondering if these conversations would ever get easier, or if I’d always fumble through like a shy virgin.

  His grin made my spine tingle. “Long as you don’t use your teeth, have at it.”

  I laughed, which helped. “I won’t. I promise.”

  “Then you’re good. Don’t worry.”

  I was pretty sure there was more to giving good head than not biting, but I appreciated the encouragement. “Would it be more comfortable for you on your back or sitting on the edge of the bed?”

  His lips quirked as if he were considering the options. “Either or, really. Which sounds good to you?”

  Now it was my turn to consider. I liked the idea of having my hands free, so I rolled to my feet and gestured for him to sit on the edge. He grinned, carefully moving until he was in place.

  Heart thumping because, holy shit, nerves, I knelt between his legs. Just for the hell of it, I slid my palms up the insides of his thighs, and he sucked in a sharp breath. Leaning back on one hand, he slowly stroked his cock as he gazed down at me with heavy-lidded eyes.

  In that moment, I genuinely didn’t think I’d ever been more turned on in my life. Kneeling like this, my hands on his legs and my face inches away from his hard dick, my mouth watering with the anticipation of going down on him, my own dick fully erect…

  I want this so bad.

  I want you so bad.

  So what the hell was I waiting for?

  I kissed the inside of his thigh, which made his breath stutter. I did it again, partly to stall and partly because I loved how he responded. The third time, I moved higher, and Hunter swore. He shifted a little. When I glanced down, his toes were curling into the carpet. All that just from kissing along his inner thigh?

  Oh, man, he was going to be vocal as hell when I sucked his cock, wasn’t he?

  That was all the motivation I needed. Even the low-grade ache in my knee wasn’t going to deter me now.

  I leaned in closer, and as I ran my tongue along the underside of his dick, I looked up at him. He bit his lip and squeezed his eyes shut.

  God, he looks hot like that. I wonder what he’ll do if I…

  “Ooh, fuck,” he breathed, eyes flying open, and he stared down at me as I ran my tongue around the head of his cock. I’d always loved when guys did that to me, and the effect it had on him was even hotter. So I did it again. I tried everything I remembered past guys doing, though I went kind of easy on deep-throating since I didn’t want to challenge my gag reflex. I stroked him with my hand while I focused on the head. Teased his balls with my fingertips while I let my lips skate up and down his shaft.

  And the whole time, Hunter egged me on with whispered curses, shuddering moans, and the odd, “Fuck, do that again.”

  Every time he responded with a moan or a shiver, I was hyper aware of how badly my own cock needed attention. Usually when I was with someone I’d hired off Emerald City, I got plenty of attention down there right from the start (unlike, I was embarrassed to admit, the guys I’d been with). As turned on as I was right now… fuck, I needed some friction.

  Guys in pornos did it sometimes. And hell, I was paying Hunter to be here. I was hardly going to demand that he do whatever I wanted, but presumably he wasn’t going to judge me—at least not out loud—if I did something to myself.

  So, once again, what was I waiting for?

  Pushing back the nerves and preemptive embarrassment, I reached down and gave my dick a slow, tight stroke. The relief and the friction were more intense than I’d anticipated, and I moaned around Hunter’s cock.

  “Ooh, yeah,” he murmured. “That’s it. Touch yourself.”

  The encouragement gave me goose bumps. Okay, so maybe it wasn’t weird for me to jerk off while I blew him, so I didn’t stop.

  “Like that?” he purred. “Touching yourself while you’re—oh, God, yeah…”

  I moaned around him, as much from the way he was talking as everything I was doing to both of us.

  “Don’t know what you were worried about,” he mumbled. “You’re… Ungh, fuck. You’re doing just fine.”

  Holy shit. The arousal in his trembling voice was even hotter than the encouragement. So hot I could barely fucking stand it.

  There’d been plenty of times where I’d had my hand on my cock and let myself fantasize about blowing someone, and now it was like that fantasy come to life, except the man was even hotter than I’d imagined. He was moaning and slurring encouragement as his fingers tangled in my hair, and I was so turned on, I didn’t know if I wanted to keep going until he lost it, or if I wanted to let go and lose it myself.

  “Oh my God,” he breathed. “If you… If you don’t want me to come in your mouth…” He trailed off into a moan, and hell, I did want him to come in my mouth. I hadn’t been sure about it before. I’d told myself I’d see how it went. How I felt when the time came. Now that it had, oh fuck, I wanted it. All of it. Every drop. I wanted to feel him tense all over and hear him cry out and—

  My own orgasm startled me, cum erupting on my hand and slicking my strokes as I lifted my head and ground out, “Holy fuck!”

  Hunter whimpered, his cock thickening in my other hand, and even through the haze of pleasure, I didn’t miss the way his muscles tightened all over and he sucked in a sharp breath. I didn’t even have a chance to be embarrassed over going off so unexpectedly because Hunter was murmuring, “Oh my God, that’s hot.”

  It was, and I wanted to keep it going, so as soon as I could breathe, I closed my lips around his dick again. He released a choked cry as a violent shudder went through him, and I swept my tongue around the head a few times, and he managed a mumbled warning just before his hips bucked and hot cum rushed across my tongue.

  Hunter leaned back on his arm, breathing hard.

  I sat back on my heels, as out of breath as he was.

  Our eyes met, and we both grinned.

  I resented all the reasons it had taken me so many years to get here. I was pissed at myself for letting all those reasons hold me back from so much for so long.

  But goddamn, this was worth the wait.

  Chapter 10

  Hunter

  I definitely hadn’t expected Scott to give me head like that. Even after seeing him twice before tonight, I still had all those comments on his profile stuck in my mind, and nothing about those had added up to someone who was willing—never mind eager—to suck someone off.

  But holy fuck. We’d been lying here in his bed for a good ten minutes, and my head was still buzzing from that amazing orgasm.

  Plus, he’d come too. I always thought it was sexy when a guy touched himself while we were fooling around, especially one who’d seemed so self-conscious before. I hadn’t expected him to get off, and I didn’t think he did either, but oh my God, it was hot as hell. It was rare that a client made it into my memories to conjure up while I’m jerking off library. Scott had definitely earned himself a spot in there tonight.

  After a while, he shifted onto his side. “So, if it’s not too personal, I’m curious what made you become an escort.”

  “Um, well…” I considered exactly how to answer. “It’s kind of a long and messy story.”

  His forehead creased.

  I debated whether I wanted to get into it. He seemed curious, and hell, why not? “You want to hear it?”

  “If you’re willing to tell it.”

  “Okay. Uh.” I took a deep breath. “So, I mentioned before that I live with my ex-wife, right?”

  He nodded. “And your kid. Kids? Kid?”

  “Just one.” I couldn’t help smiling. “A little girl. She’s six.”

  He smiled too, the expression soft, and stupid heart, don’t you dare do little flutters over a client.

  “Anyway,” I went on, “my ex-wife and I… We, uh, got started young. Got married literally the day after we graduated high school.”

  Scott laughed, giving me goose bumps because I rarely saw him really smile. “Okay, you’re not joking. You did start young.”

  “Yeah, we did. And no, she wasn’t pregnant. We were just eighteen and knew everything.” I rolled my eyes. “We were smart enough to realize it would be a good idea to hold off on having a baby until we’d finished college. Apparently we weren’t smart enough to actually make sure we didn’t.”

  He chuckled. “She was a surprise?”

  “Mmhmm. Big surprise. But we made it work. The plan was for me to finish school, and then once I had a better job, she’d finish.” I sighed. “And that’s when we got another surprise in the form of a bad car accident.”

  Scott’s eyes widened.

  “Ironically,” I continued, “that night was the first time we’d left our baby with a sitter. Things had been kind of rocky between us, and we thought a date night would help, you know? Spend some time focusing on us. Get our marriage back on the rails.” I shook my head. “We never even made it to the restaurant.”

  “Holy shit,” Scott whispered.

  “Yeah. Couple of dumbasses were racing on 405. One of them lost control and hit us, and… I mean, let’s just say I’m glad I don’t remember anything after the tires started squealing.”

  Scott shivered. “Sometimes that’s the biggest silver lining of bad injuries—they fuck you up enough that you don’t actually remember them.”

  I raised my eyebrows. “Voice of experience?”

  He laughed softly and twisted around. “See this scar?” He separated some of his hair at the back of his head, revealing a long, pale scar.

  I grimaced. “Yeah?”

  Facing me again, he said, “Took a puck during warm-ups when I was a rookie.”

  “No shit?” I stared at him. “Don’t those things go, like, stupid fast?”

  “They do. And it knocked me cold, especially since it was warm-ups and I didn’t have my helmet on yet. Fortunately, one of my teammates was right there, and he grabbed me on the way down, so I didn’t crack my head on the ice or anything. The recovery was long and miserable as hell, but man, at least I don’t remember shit.”

  “Nothing?”

  Scott shook his head. “I remember going out on the ice for warm-ups, but the next thing I knew, I was waking up in the hospital.”

  “You were out that long?”

  “No, no. I was awake on the ice. Came around pretty fast. I just don’t remember.” He shuddered. “Thank God. Anyway. I’m sorry. You were telling me about your accident.”

  “Right. Yeah.” I shifted a bit and laced my hands behind my head on the pillow, ignoring the twinge in my shoulder. “It was kind of the same deal—I heard tires squealing, and then I woke up in the hospital. I was awake at the scene, but I don’t remember much except little flashes here and there.” I pushed out a breath. “In the end, we were both pretty lucky. Rachel got a concussion, but a relatively mild one. Mine was a little worse, but it was moderate, and I also broke my collarbone. Plus, we both had a lot of cuts and bruises and stuff.” I gestured at some of the scars on the side of my face and neck. “Plus our faces were bruised all to hell from the airbags. Oh, and whiplash, and just being sore all over thanks to being knocked around. All things considered, it could have been a lot worse.”

  “Sounds like it,” Scott said softly.

  “Of course the other driver didn’t have a scratch on him,” I grumbled.

  “Ugh. Isn’t that always how it works?”

  “Seriously. Anyway, when we started recovering, she had some neck and back problems, and she had headaches for a long time, but she was on a steady upward curve. Especially once she found a decent physical therapist for her back.” I exhaled slowly. “The problem was that I wasn’t getting better. Even though the bones and bruises were healing, I was in kind of this… I don’t know, like a spiral where the pain wouldn’t stop, and it was creeping into places that didn’t seem like they should’ve been affected by a car crash. Plus my ex and I ended up getting divorced a couple of years later, which meant tons of stress, and the pain just snowballed.”

  “Wow. Did they figure out why? Beyond just stress, I mean?”

  I nodded. “I actually got really lucky. My divorce attorney’s wife had fibromyalgia, and he started recognizing some of the same symptoms in me. I guess it’s not always the same in men and women, but the chronic pain, chronic fatigue…” I rolled my hand. “There’s a fuckload of symptoms, and it can definitely be triggered by injuries like the ones I got in the crash. So, he told me I should get checked out for it. I had to change doctors twice before I found someone who believed me. The first didn’t think men could get fibromyalgia. The second didn’t think it existed at all.”

  “For fuck’s sake,” Scott muttered.

  “Right? Anyway, the third time was the charm, though, and I got a diagnosis.”

  “It took that much just to get diagnosed?”

  “Oh yeah. From what people in my support group say, I was lucky as hell. Most of them took like seven or ten years to get diagnosed. Me, it was about three.”

  “That’s good, getting ahead of the power curve like that.”

  “It is, but the problem is that there’s only so much they can do to treat it. Plus I had to quit my job because I couldn’t function, so I lost my insurance, and what I have now only covers the bare minimum.” I made an irritated sound. “They don’t really consider ‘functioning from day to day without wanting to die from pain’ to be ‘essential.’ Not enough for them to pay for it, anyway.”

  Scott winced. “Jesus.”

  “Yeah. So, long story short, neither of us could make ends meet, not even after Rachel—my ex—married Leo. So we all ended up moving in together, and I took the job at Emerald City out of desperation.” I paused. “Like, don’t get me wrong—I enjoy it, and I don’t feel coerced or anything. But this wasn’t exactly what I was dreaming of on Career Day in high school.”

  “But…” He watched me, confusion written all over his face. “It’s a physical job. Doesn’t that make everything worse?”

  “In theory. The fucked-up thing is that, in practice, this job takes less of a physical toll on me than anything else I can find.”

  “It does?”

  I sighed. “If I try to spend forty hours a week sitting at a desk and staring at a computer, I’ll be an absolute train wreck. I just can’t do it. The fatigue gets so far out of control, I can’t get enough sleep to counter it. The fatigue makes the pain worse, the pain makes the fatigue worse…” I rolled my hand. “It’s a nightmare. Plus my concentration gets trashed, so it’s hard for me to get the work done. And retail and food service, even part-time, are way worse.”

  “But the escort job…?”

  “You wouldn’t think I’d be able to handle it, but…” I half-shrugged. “Like you’ve seen on my profile, I won’t do anything rough and my bookings are limited to two hours. So I work a couple of hours, pay for it the next day, and then I feel as close to normal as I ever do. On paper, it’s counterintuitive, but it works.”