Of course it is—he’s glad he’s still getting paid.

  I forced back my own cynical inner voice and stood aside. “Good to see you too. Come on in.” As I shut the door behind him, I added, “By the way, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to chase you out the other night.”

  “You didn’t.” He faced me, his expression full of sweet sincerity I didn’t think I deserved. “And I mean, you’re basically paying me to leave, so…”

  That brought me up short. I cocked my head. “Paying you to leave?”

  Hunter laughed softly. “Well, yeah. That’s one of the reasons a lot of guys hire us—they’re not paying for the sex. They’re paying for us to get the hell out afterward.”

  I blinked. “I… Wow…” But now that I thought about it, I mean, wasn’t that literally why I’d gone with escorts instead of casual hookups? It wasn’t that they were guaranteed to put out—it was that they were guaranteed to leave when it was over so I could wallow in self-loathing in peace. “Does that bother you? That guys hire you so you’ll leave after?”

  “Not really.” He paused. “Honestly, there isn’t much about this job that bothers me. Sometimes I get weird clients, and of course my pain is an issue, but I’m fine with showing up, fooling around, and leaving when I’m done.” With a shrug, he added, “Doesn’t bother me.”

  “Oh.” That was… not something I’d expected. “For the record, that’s not why I’m hiring you. So you’ll leave, I mean. I, um…” Heat rushed into my face. “I like it when you’re here, not when you go.”

  God, his expression was so sweet. “Well, I’m here.”

  Yeah. He was. Shit. Now what?

  He spoke first, though. “I guess my question…” Hunter searched my eyes. “Was the kissing a one-time thing? Or do you want to keep doing it?”

  My heart was going wild for some reason, and it only went wilder when I stepped closer to him. “Is it an option to keep doing it?”

  His smile made my spine tingle. So did the hand he curved over my hip. “I have no issue at all with kissing. It’s completely up to you.”

  I said nothing. I just reached for the back of his neck, drew him in, and—

  Oh, my God.

  The other night had been earth-shaking in ways I hadn’t expected. Tonight, it was just hot. It was sexy. It was fucking perfect, and all it took was one brush of my lips across his to know I could never get enough of kissing him.

  We pulled each other closer, arms wrapped around each other right there in the foyer, and the heat of skin against skin… the gentle brush of his hands on my back… the way his lips and tongue teased mine…

  How was there ever any doubt in my mind that I wanted this?

  “We should…” I panted. “Upstairs.”

  “Good idea. Maybe ditch the clothes while we’re at it.”

  Oh, hell yeah.

  Upstairs, with the clothes duly ditched, we climbed into my bed, and my God, this was perfect. I’d spent the last forty-eight hours or so knee-deep in every possible worst-case scenario, but I hadn’t let myself imagine this. I hadn’t wanted to get my hopes up, and anyway, I don’t think I could’ve conjured this up anyway.

  It was happening, though, and for ages, we just kissed and touched. At some point, we shifted onto his back, and I loved the way it felt to settle my hips between his thighs, letting our hard cocks rub as we kept right on making out like we had all the time in the world.

  I broke the kiss and went for his neck, because my God, I loved the way he gasped and shivered when I did that. The vibration of his moans against my lips was more addictive than it had any right to be, and so was the way his hands twitched and trembled and dug into my back. I’d missed so damn much in all those years I was punishing myself with sex instead of enjoying it; I couldn’t get those years back, but I could drown in Hunter, and his body heat, and the sounds he made, and how he touched me, and the way he whispered my name in that shaky voice as his hard cock rubbed alongside mine.

  “Scott…” He ran trembling fingers through my hair. “Tell me… Tell me what you want.”

  Wasn’t it obvious? I wanted him. Full stop. This gorgeous, eager, willing man who was naked in my bed with his hands all over me—that was what I wanted. Plain and simple.

  But I knew what he meant, and I shakily whispered against his throat, “I want to fuck you.”

  Hunter shivered under me. “Yes, please?”

  I grinned. “Yeah?”

  He slid his hand between us and gave my dick a long, teasing stroke, making me gasp. “You think I’m gonna say no to this?”

  I couldn’t think or say anything. Not with him touching me like that.

  He lifted his head to brush a kiss across my lips. “I have an idea. Let me get on top.”

  I cocked a brow. “Uh…”

  He chuckled. “Not on top like that. I mean you get on your back and let me…” He gestured like we were flipping over.

  “Right. Got it.” I moved onto my back as Hunter retrieved the condoms and lube.

  He handed me one, and I tore the wrapper open, but before I could roll on the condom…

  “Oh God,” I moaned as Hunter’s lips slid down the shaft of my cock. I wanted to suit up and fuck him, but his mouth was amazing, and all I could do was struggle to breathe and stare at him, as I watched him licking and sucking my dick.

  I couldn’t resist, and I carded my fingers through his tousled dark hair. He responded with a moan and a shiver, which had me biting my lip and damn near losing my mind. I didn’t want to come like this, but I also didn’t want him to stop.

  I didn’t want any of this to stop. Was it too much to ask to do everything tonight? As afraid as I’d been that things would be weird tonight, they were the opposite. For the first time, I didn’t feel like I was holding back anymore. I didn’t feel like I needed to. Something about crossing that line and kissing him had knocked down the last of my walls, and it was just so…

  So fucking liberating.

  The closest thing I could compare it to was cashing that first major league paycheck after I’d been pulled up from the minors. In an instant, I’d broken free of all my financial worries. No more sweating over how I’d eat, if my car would stay alive, or even if I had a few bucks to get my skates sharpened. The relief and the freedom had made me dizzy, and I had that feeling again now.

  I’m gay, and I’m in bed with a man, and I love every fucking second.

  “Hunter,” I whispered. “Come up… Come up here.”

  He did, and as soon as he was within reach, I curved a hand behind his neck and kissed him, and he whimpered softly as he wrapped his arms around me. Everything we did was so hot, so natural, so easy. He was sexy and eager, and—

  “Let me fuck you,” I murmured between kisses.

  “Mmm, yeah.” He kissed me again. Then he touched his forehead to mine and panted, “Sit back. Against the headboard.”

  “Against…” I glanced back. I wasn’t quite sure what he had in mind, but I was happy to follow his lead. I sat up and slid a pillow behind my back so I wasn’t leaning on the cold wood. As soon as I was settled, reclining slightly, Hunter straddled me.

  “Hold yourself steady?” he murmured.

  “Don’t I need to… I mean, are you ready for—”

  He cut me off with a soft kiss, then whispered, “Baby, I came here planning to get fucked. I’m ready for you.”

  Goose bumps prickled along my spine. I didn’t even care if he’d done it because this was his job; the thought of him anticipating like that made me hot.

  So I did as I was told and steadied my cock, keeping a hand around the base as I used the other to guide him down. He was tight, and I thought for a few seconds that he might want some prep after all, but then he closed his eyes, exhaled slowly, and started to yield to me. My God, I damn near passed out as my cock eased into him.

  “Oh, fuck…” He lifted himself up, then came down again, taking me deeper. “You feel so good.”

  “You feel amazing.” I wrapped my arms around him, holding him loosely so he could still move freely. “Jesus, Hunter…”

  He looked down at me and licked his lips. “Kiss me,” he rasped.

  I didn’t hesitate. I slid a hand up into his hair, and we kissed as languidly as he rode my cock. I held him close and explored his mouth with my tongue. This was insanely hot—not just being inside a man, not just kissing him, but both. Simultaneously.

  How did I let myself miss something this good for this long?

  I’d missed so, so much over the years, and making up for all that lost time might kill me, but in that moment, I didn’t care if it did. I was buried in Hunter, my arms around him as our mouths moved together, and it was just… It was perfect. So fucking perfect.

  Hunter broke the kiss with a gasp. I had half a heartbeat to be disappointed that I couldn’t taste his mouth any more before the view made it all worthwhile. The way he tilted his head back. The flush of his skin. The furrow of his brow. The way he squeezed his eyes shut and murmured, “Oh God…” through kiss-swollen lips.

  I couldn’t move like this. I had no leverage. No way to thrust up into him. There was nothing I could do but hold him. Feel him. Watch him. Let him ride my cock with frantic, erratic strokes as he started to tremble.

  Oh, but there was one thing I could do.

  I closed my fingers around his cock, and his eyes flew open as a shudder made his hips buck, and we both swore as he tightened around me. I pumped him between us, and he rode me. I was determined not to lose it until he did, but he was just so fucking gorgeous and hot and…

  “Come, baby,” I pleaded. “I’m so close, and I want…” I squeezed my eyes shut, the rhythm of my strokes faltering a little.

  Hunter groaned softly, and I couldn’t hold back—I gasped and shuddered. I didn’t even know what I was saying or if they were words at all, only that I wasn’t quiet and I was coming in him—coming hard—and he kept rocking his hips to egg me on.

  I’d barely returned to earth before I started pumping him faster, determined to get him off while I was still inside him. He arched and shivered—holy fuck, he was sexy—and his neck and chest flushed as he murmured curses and slurred encouragement.

  Then his hips jerked and he sucked in a breath. For a split second, I was afraid his pain had picked the worst possible moment to interrupt, but that shuddering moan was all pleasure. The force of his orgasm jolted his whole body, and a drop of cum landed on my chin. Hunter laughed, clapping a hand over his mouth. I lost it too, burying my face against his neck as we both shook with laughter and the remnants of our climaxes.

  “Sorry,” he said without a hint of sincerity.

  “Uh-huh. Sure you are.” I lifted my head and brushed my lips across his. He was still grinning and so was I, but we quickly segued into a long, soft kiss.

  The other night had been a bump in the road. The equivalent of losing my edge on the ice—it sucked, but it didn’t take much to get up and get back to chasing the puck. I’d once scored a goal while there was still snow on my hip from taking a fall seconds earlier.

  And tonight, while my pride was still bruised from Hunter seeing me fall apart, we were both sweaty and satisfied, kissing like nothing had ever happened.

  Maybe there was hope for me yet.

  Chapter 16

  Hunter

  “Oh, man, that was good.” Scott lay back on the pillows and sighed happily. “I’ve definitely been missing out on kissing.”

  “It really does make things hot, doesn’t it?” I eased myself down beside him, trying like hell not to let it show that some muscles in my neck and shoulders were being jerks. “Out of curiosity, what changed your mind?”

  He shyly avoided my gaze. “I don’t know. I avoided it for a long time, because it… I guess it felt too much like I was really getting into things instead of just getting sex out of my system.”

  “Getting it out of your system?”

  “Yeah. Messed up, huh?” He sighed. “I was just so far up in my own head over all of it—being gay, being in bed with men—I couldn’t get past… Like, I really was punishing myself whenever I slept with a guy. I hated myself for it. Kissing just seemed like I’d be admitting to a lot more than grudgingly getting my rocks off, you know?”

  Christ, my heart ached for him. I couldn’t imagine how much self-loathing he’d put himself through.

  He went on, “When I booked you, I was trying to do things differently, you know? Accepting who I am and what I want. I had to work myself up to it, but to tell you the truth…” A blush crept into his cheeks. “I’ve wanted to kiss you from the start.”

  “And now you’re there.” I shifted a little, pretending I didn’t have annoying muscle spasms tightening up all the way down my back. “You like it, right?”

  “Oh yeah.” He turned to me. “I like it a lot.”

  “Good. And I have to say—you’re a damn good kisser.”

  He smiled shyly. “Yeah?”

  “Mmhmm. Some guys are, uh, not. But you?” I ignored the soreness and craned my neck for a kiss. “You’re good at this.”

  He grinned against my lips, then drew me in for a longer kiss. And damn it, was good. He’d been a little tentative at first, but as he’d found his stride, he’d become gently assertive, and I loved it.

  Except for the part where my neck was bitching at me. There’d been some tightness while we’d been fooling around, but then I’d moved weird—while I was drying off, I think—and the muscle was having a full-blown tantrum. Ugh.

  Scott drew away and studied me, concern written all over his face. “You okay?”

  I rubbed my neck. Then I turned onto my back, which helped a little. “Ugh. Stupid muscles.”

  “Stiff? Or did you pull something?”

  “Just stiff.” I sighed, still kneading where my neck met my shoulder. “One fucking car accident, and I’m dealing with this bullshit for the rest of my life.”

  “Jesus. I hope you at least got a decent settlement from their insurance.”

  I laughed bitterly. “What insurance?”

  “You’re kidding.”

  “Nope. The jackass who hit us didn’t have insurance, did have a suspended license, and was still on probation after a DUI.” I rolled my eyes. “So my insurance went up, my body is a mess, and I lost my job, all because they had to see who could go from Lynwood to Southcenter the fastest.” I cringed. I really needed to stop running off at the mouth about this shit with a client, whether it was this client or any other. “Sorry. It’s a… Well, kind of a sore spot, I guess.”

  “Yeah, I bet it is.” Scott studied me. “Okay, I know everyone who has any kind of long term pain or injury gets seriously tired of ‘have you tried…’, but…” He watched me uncertainly. “Have you ever tried floating?”

  I cocked a brow. “What? Like levitating?”

  Scott laughed. “No, I mean like in a float tank.”

  “Wait, are you talking about those sensory deprivation things? Where it’s pitch black and all?”

  “It’s…” He pursed his lips. “I guess they’re kind of sensory deprivation? The water and the air are the same temperature, so you do kind of feel like you’re floating in space. And yeah, it’s dark and quiet.”

  I inclined my head. “Is this something you do?”

  He actually blushed, which was cute. “One of my teammates got me into it. They don’t fix anything, but it’s an hour of being completely relaxed without anything pushing on anything sore.” He gestured at his leg. “Sometimes my knee hurts just from being at a weird angle or something when I sleep, but in the tank, it’s just relaxed. You’re completely buoyant, so it takes the strain off everything.”

  “And it helps? Or does it just help while you’re in the tank?”

  “I mean, the total relaxation is just while you’re in the tank, but I always get out feeling like I just had an hour-long massage. Not one of those deep-tissue ones that hurt, but like… You know what I mean.”

  “Right, so like a massage but without anyone actually prodding you.” I made a face. “Because I can’t even do the easy massages.”

  Scott trailed the backs of his knuckles up my arm. “This might work for you, then. Like I said, it’s no miracle cure, but I always feel better afterward.”

  “Honestly, there isn’t much I won’t try at this point as long as it’s not being sold by a pyramid scheme.”

  He chuckled. “That’s pretty much my philosophy too.”

  Sighing, I said, “I’ve heard those places are expensive, though. I’ll keep it in mind to try it, but I should wait until I take care of few other things first.”

  “I can take you if you want to give it a try.”

  I blinked.

  “It’s just an hour-long session,” he continued. “To see if you even like it or if it helps you.”

  “You’d do that?”

  “Sure. They have like twelve tanks operating there, so I can schedule a session at the same time.”

  I wrinkled my nose. “That has some weird sci-fi vibes, don’t you think? A bunch of people in tanks?”

  Scott laughed, rolling his eyes. “You’re not floating in a clear tank with breathing tubes and all that shit. It’s basically a spa, not The Matrix.”

  “Well, damn. There goes that illusion.”

  He just chuckled. “Yeah, sorry. And the places that do this can get a little too much into the homeopathic everything for my taste, but they usually aren’t pushy about it. I just enjoy the float and then leave.”

  “Hmm. Well, I mean, I’m open to pretty much anything these days.” I grimaced. “How much do they charge?”

  Scott waved a hand. “Don’t worry about it. Your first session is covered.”

  “What?” I tensed, which my neck did not appreciate. “Are you sure? You don’t have to—”

  “It’s fine. They actually give me freebies when I bring guests.”

  “Oh.” Well, that made me feel better. I didn’t need him buying me a session. “Okay, well, let me know when you want to go. I’m definitely curious about it.”

  “I was planning on going tomorrow. If you want to meet me here around ten…” He watched me expectantly.