“There’s nothing for you to be sorry about,” Ben said. “My mom is great and has been. They divorced over it nearly twenty years ago. I hated that part because it was about me. When I told her that, she said she tolerated it for so much longer than she should have. Hoping he’d see what he’d done and want to fix it. She asked me what I would do, in her place, if Todd or Erin rejected Xander the way my father had done with me. I love them. Todd and Erin, I mean.” He grinned a moment and it lightened her heart. “We have a good life. A close, loving family. It’s a blessing. But I’m Xander’s dad first. Always. And yes, I would leave either or both if it meant protecting my child.”

  They were both quiet for a few minutes.

  “I’m telling you all this for a few reasons. Your dad and your aunt love you and you know that. You know it’s a gift to have such support. But you should apply that standard to your bio mom. You may not know her reasons, if she’s got any, but that still doesn’t make you responsible for how a grown person acts. The weight of this is not yours to carry, sweetheart. No matter what she said on her little video, it doesn’t matter to anyone who cares about you.”

  Not trusting herself to speak without crying, she blinked tears back and turned, resolutely looking at the birds again while she found her self control.

  “Tell me,” she said at last.

  Miles realized Harlow wasn’t anywhere he could see inside the restaurant. There were plenty of people around and any of them could be with her somewhere else. He wasn’t worried. They’d all be fine with her and if anything came up, someone would come to him about it.

  So it wasn’t worry that had him getting up to cruise around the place. But a need to connect with her.

  “She’s outside with Ben,” Erin told him as she must have guessed why he was looking around.

  Shit. He was probably talking with Harlow about the whole mess with Gloria.

  “He’s not going to hurt her, you know,” Erin said. “He’s good with people.”

  “He’s not the one hurting her anyway, Erin. If it were only that simple.”

  “You can’t stop other people from hurting her. It’s impossible, and she’ll end up resenting you for controlling her. And you’ll end up resenting her for needing to be protected. She’s made it this far in her life without a man fixing her.”

  Miles snorted. “I’m not trying to be her white knight. I know she’s strong and capable. But she doesn’t always have to be. I’m here now to help. And there’s no reason Gloria should be allowed any access to her to hurt her further.”

  “What are you going to do when you’re in Europe working for six weeks and she’s here? You both travel all the time with your work so you can’t always be at her side. What then? If you start doing everything for her, you’re going to make her weak when she’s on her own. And you’re telling her she can’t do it herself.”

  His aunt had a way of saying just exactly whatever it was a person needed to hear most. It was a little spooky.

  “I know I want to be there all the time to protect her. I also know neither of us needs that and in the end that would hurt our relationship. But I love her. And this business with Gloria rips her heart to shreds. Believe me when I tell you if it were up to me I’d have a slew of expensive attorneys stripping that bitch of everything dear to her until she got the message to keep her mouth out of Harlow’s business. I actually threatened Gloria with that very thing and the following day I also called my attorney to give him a head’s up.”

  His mum joined them and gave him a raised brow at his words.

  “She’d hate that if I went through with it,” Miles admitted. “She’s embarrassed but doesn’t want to admit it. And if I did that, it’d be calling attention to the situation and that would hurt Harlow even more. But the more crap this woman does, the closer I get to doing it and apologizing afterward.”

  “How’s she going to feel when she finds out you’ve already paid for Ben’s services?” his mother asked.

  “I’m the one who suggested Ben to her to start with,” he said, defensive. “And I had to make a detailed argument to Ben to get him to agree to take money, so don’t think he hasn’t already spoken to me about this. Once I paid him and she became a client, he told me he can’t share anything without her permission and I agreed. As for the rest? She does okay financially. Not from the band really, we all know how that goes. But the music is beginning to take off and she’s got a great reputation for her studio work. But there’ll be hard times to come with the good and she’s got a mortgage to cover. I have the money.”

  He had ridiculous amounts of it. His father had seen to that, despite his mum’s strenuous objections when he’d been younger.

  “She has not asked for any,” he hastened to add. He didn’t want his mum or aunt thinking Harlow was using him for anything. Possibly sex, he smiled inwardly, but that wasn’t something to share either.

  “She comes from money. Like you do.” Erin looked him over closely, but he’d just noticed where Harlow and Ben had been standing outside and at the sight of her back, his anxiety at not knowing exactly where she was melted away.

  “Well, yes. And she doesn’t want to take it from her dad as an adult any more than I do. And, she hasn’t told her father about most of this bullshit with her mom.” Harlow had plenty of support in her life and she’d be the first person to say that. But she was also wary of sharing details with her aunt or father because she didn’t want Gloria to hurt anyone else. Hopefully this conversation with her dad would help.

  “So why did you pay then?” his mum asked softly.

  “Because I know. Her dad doesn’t. Her aunt doesn’t. She’s protecting them even though neither would want that. But because I know, because I’ve seen the wreckage Gloria leaves each time she pulls some shit on Harlow, I couldn’t not move on this. I want her to have answers. I want Harlow to at least know why this is happening. Or if there’s truly no reason other than Gloria is a terrible person. I just want to protect her in ways I can.”

  His mum’s frown slid into a smile that made his heart overflow. “Your dad and I are so lucky you’re ours. We’re so proud of you.”

  “But she’s still going to kick your ass when she finds out you paid Ben,” Erin said with a lopsided smile.

  “Probably.” But he’d deal with that when it came up.

  “Wait, back up a moment,” Harlow said to Ben as she figured something out.

  He paused, looking to her to figure out what she needed.

  “You said you and Miles talked about the video Gloria made?”

  “Yes. Last night at the dinner. As I said, if you do go forward with this investigation everything would be confidential. I can tell Miles if you like, or you can. Or whatever. He and I only spoke at this point because he was giving me background.”

  “How long?”

  “How long what?”

  “How long has Miles known about this video?”

  And not told her.

  “He brought the situation with Gloria up, saying he’d talked to you about hiring me. So I did some quick searching of the web and found it. This was only yesterday. He didn’t tell you,” Ben said. It wasn’t a question.

  “He did not.” And they’d been together alone plenty of times since then in which he could have said. And decided not to.

  But he’d shared with this person who despite being lovely and all, was a relative stranger.

  “Harlow, he only wants to help. I’m sure he expected to talk to you about it or have me talk to you about it. I explained when he paid the retainer that if you went forward with this, it would be up to you to share whatever you chose.”

  “He paid a retainer to you? For me?” She hadn’t intended to sound so pissed, but there it was. Miles just pushed and pushed and pushed and apologized afterward, and despite his intentions being good, it really made her mad.

  Ben cursed and pinched the bridge of his nose. “I’m usually better at this,” he said at last. “Then again, I guess I never expected Miles to be clumsy like this either. He’s not…I’ve seen him be protective of many people. Our family definitely, but also his band members. But never once a romantic interest. That’s the only reason I can imagine him not telling you. He’s not underhanded like that. He respects you and wants you happy.”

  No, he wasn’t underhanded. But.

  Harlow wasn’t about to make a scene over it. As pissed off and hurt as she was by Miles’s paying a retainer without even consulting her, they’d work it out and that would need to be done outside the view of his fan club.

  “How much is the retainer?” she asked Ben.

  “He took care of it. Don’t worry.”

  She just looked at him until he sighed. “Work this out with him. Then whatever you need, you’re the client and we’ll handle it if you want to pay instead. I informed him when I accepted the retainer that once that had happened, you were my client and what I found would be confidential. He agreed to that.”

  “Oh, I do want to pay. It’s my issue, not Miles’s.” She had money to pay her own damned bills. It was one thing to stay in his swanky hotel suites and take advantage of the offers he’d made of things like sharing their transport to the venue and the like. Another entirely for him to pay her fucking expenses like he was her sugar daddy as her mother had screamed in one of those voicemails.

  “I’ll have an invoice sent to you directly,” Ben said at last. “And I won’t share anything else with him from this point on.”

  She scrubbed her hands over her face a moment. “This is already more complicated than I want.”

  “I apologize,” Ben said. “I have messed up here because he’s my nephew and he’s so fucking in love with you he can’t stand knowing you’re hurting. He just wants to take care of you. I should have been clearer up front and not shared any of this with him. It’s not professional at all.”

  And now she was in an impossible position.

  “I think I’ll watch the video on my own. You don’t need to be part of this. It’s not fair for you to have to take responsibility for something Miles did. No matter his reasons. That he hasn’t shared with me.”

  Ben put a hand on her arm to stay her. “Please don’t. He fucked up. I fucked up. I absolutely understand why you’re upset. Can we start over? Please?”

  What could she say other than yes? Even though she wanted to leave and be alone for the hours before they took the stage, she couldn’t. Because she was with someone now who came with this big extended family.

  It felt like manipulation if she were to be totally honest. Ben knew that too. He knew she cared so much for Miles that she wouldn’t risk alienating him or them.

  “I dislike being manipulated with my feelings,” she told him, and he nodded.

  “I’m not trying to manipulate you. I wouldn’t do that even if you weren’t with Miles. I’m not that guy. But I understand right now, Miles and I have given you reason to feel that. I can only apologize again and promise you to be better. I truly do want to help.”

  She blew out a breath. He was a genuine guy and she liked him. And importantly, she believed his apology and his reasons. He loved Miles and Miles loved her and that was what made this all so complicated even as it was generous and wonderful.

  But she was pretty sure she wasn’t going to keep him on the job. If she even had the job done at this point.

  “Fine. Tell me what was in that video. And I don’t want you revealing anything to Miles. I will let him know if that’s what I choose to do. They are my details and I have every right to do that myself.”

  Relief flashed over Ben’s expression. “Fair. So very fair.” He looked back over their shoulders to the restaurant and then back to her. “Gloria is a narcissist. She’s the kind of person that if you say you broke your toe, she’d interrupt with a story about her own health. There’s no subject she will allow anyone to shine with and will always center herself in every conversation. All while telling everyone how much she cares about them. And when she gets called out, I bet she tries to pretend it’s that she’s truly just awkward and is only trying to connect.”

  Bullseye.

  “She blames your father and the liberal elite for your scandalous behavior. She claims you were purchased from her and then made into his image. Says you were sexually forward from an early age and trained to be by your father and his minions. And that’s why you’re so successful in the music business.”

  Harlow swallowed hard and willed the tears away.

  “According to her, Miles is your sugar daddy and is using you and your youth and beauty to further his own success.”

  Well, he did just pay on her behalf without even discussing it with her beforehand. If anyone like Gloria found out Miles had paid for this investigation into her background it would only lend credence to the sugar daddy theory.

  He sighed. “There’s a bit where Gloria talks about Miles. His piercings and his variety of romantic interests as evidence of how far you’ve fallen.”

  “That he’s bi? Like that’s a big shocking secret?” Harlow waved that away.

  Ben grinned at her briefly. “Yes. I know you wouldn’t be surprised by the way some people still think about that. But that attacks your foundations. And the foundation of your happiness, right? She wants you to doubt all the things that empower you. Then you’re weak and defenseless.”

  She wanted to run away from everything. Fighting the urge not to bolt took all her concentration and control. All this internal struggle was not something she wanted to deal with in front of all these very important people in Miles’s life. All while she was pissed at him.

  Harlow needed to make herself some pro and con lists and try to process everything but there wasn’t the opportunity for that right then. Which left her anxious and feeling trapped.

  “I have to think about all this,” she said at last.

  “Fair. There’s a lot going on. I’ll create a report for you with everything as I go,” Ben said.

  “I also need to think about whether or not I’ll use your services. I’m sorry. I know this is so rude.” She fought back emotion.

  “This was the worst possible way for me to bring this up. I apologize again.”

  “You want to help. I see that. And I appreciate it. I truly do. But this is…well, I’m not prepared to…” She shook her head, not having the words.

  Ben took a deep breath and sent her a conciliatory smile. She felt like the worst, meanest person alive not to jump on this chance. But Harlow had hit a wall and ill-timed or not, it was her moment to stand up for herself in the midst of all this chaos being orchestrated by everyone but her.

  “How about this? Take your time to think about everything. If you have questions, just ask them. Text or call, whatever is best. I’ll hold off on anything else until I hear from you. I will urge you not to respond to Gloria’s video at this stage. Protect yourself,” Ben said.

  “Dessert is here,” Erin called out from inside.

  “Be right there,” Ben replied.

  Miles looked up from where he’d been chatting with his mum and a chill ran down his spine when he caught Harlow’s expression when she and Ben returned for pie. It only got worse when she seated herself where he couldn’t weasel in next to her while not allowing him a single second of eye contact.

  Then while he was fussing around over the check, Harlow jumped into the first car to go back to the hotel.

  Ben saw it and shook his head, taking Miles aside. “What the fuck is going on?” Miles demanded of his uncle. “Am I imagining it or is she pissed off?”

  “You’re not imagining it. We fucked up, Miles. You and me both,” Ben said and explained the whole situation that had happened on the deck.

  Damn it.

  He stood to the side, making a quick call.

  Harlow didn’t answer her phone. It went straight to voicemail.

  “I know you’re mad at me and you have a right to be. I didn’t do it because I thought you were incapable of handling it on your own. I just wanted to help you because you have so much on your shoulders, and I hate to see you suffer. I would have talked to you about the video. I wasn’t hiding it like that. I figured we’d talk about it once you met with Ben. As for the retainer? We can talk about that later on. Look, Harlow, I’m in love with you. It makes me stupid sometimes. My emotions take over and I want to protect you and I mess up. I’m coming to you now. So take the time you need to process between now and then.”

  He disconnected and shoved his phone in a pocket before returning to his family, all the while itching to be done so he could go to her and reassure himself they were okay.

  CHAPTER

  TWENTY-SEVEN

  She wasn’t in their room when he returned. A quick, frantic check of the closet showed her clothes still hanging there and her things were all over her side of the dual sink area in the bathroom, so she hadn’t run off. He’d gotten used to her being with him in the month plus since she’d finally given in and agreed to share his room nightly.

  Ben had stressed several times that he did not think Harlow was going to break up with him. She was pissed, but she’d told Ben they would work it out and he fell back on that even if he wanted to run down to Nora and Brian’s room immediately to see if she was there. Nora had stayed back from lunch to keep an eye on Brian, who was still feeling poorly, and as she was Harlow’s best friend, that’s probably exactly where she’d headed.

  Instead of going down there, he decided to text her.

  Where are you?

  She replied a minute later. At a coffee shop near the venue.

  It was about an hour earlier than they all usually went over, and he knew it was to avoid him.

  Alone?

  I’m fine.

  Oh shit. I’m fine rarely ever meant I’m fine. Like whatever rarely meant that person was letting it go.

  We should talk. I’m going to come over now.