Orion had told her that one of the hotshots made a mac and cheese that everyone apparently raved over.

  She wondered if they’d hear about her sandwiches, but that was ridiculous. She didn’t live in their world. She lived up here, where she didn’t have to worry about who survived—or didn’t.

  At least, not before today, when Charlie flew through the air. Or before that, when she realized he was here, working as one of the Ember hotshots.

  Sure, it should’ve hit her that Orion was in danger every day of summer. But she’d trained him more than the Ember fire command had. Her son knew how to keep himself safe.

  So long as he didn’t follow through with this crazy smokejumper idea.

  The last thing she wanted was to bury him like she’d buried her father.

  Stupid man.

  That was what her mother had said about him. While the rest of Ember had hailed him a hero until she’d felt like she could walk a little taller and hold her head a little higher because she was his daughter.

  He didn’t care nothin’ about us. He was just selfish. More interested in fire than his family.

  The cake pan slammed on the wire rack a little too hard. Jayne hissed and squared it so the corner of the glass pan wasn’t in the air. It needed to cool so she could frost it.

  In the meantime, she would put the sandwiches together and check if they had enough chips for all the kids, since she’d been planning to head to the grocery store the day after tomorrow and stock up.

  “Hey, need some help?” Bridget strode in and held her water bottle under the faucet at the big metal sink. She dumped the water and rinsed it inside and out.

  “Did you get a chance to check on Charlie?”

  “Some bruising on his back. Alexis filled me in on how he fell. I’m not surprised he got winded. I’m glad he’s not as injured as he could’ve been—or should’ve been.” Bridget leaned her hip against the front of the sink. “Can you believe, a land mine? What on earth?”

  Jayne nodded, happy Bridget had waited until they were out of earshot of the kids before she shared that sentiment. “Orion said they have bomb-squad-trained firefighters in most places, but the best they could do here is a few of the hotshots along with the coroner. Apparently, these ‘Trouble Boys’ were military, so they know how to spot buried ordnances. He said the only thing better would be a bomb-sniffing dog.”

  Jayne smiled. “Also apparently…one of them knows this team, A Breed Apart. All working dogs, fully trained.” She shook her head. “And I thought Aria’s stories about Chevalier and her parents were crazy. Anyway, I guess the Trouble Boys are here, they wanna do it, and they’re faster than flying in an expert.”

  Bridget said, “Now that would be something I’d like to see.”

  Jayne’s head swam from everything. She’d been entirely too close to that explosion, and so had the kids. She did not want to see any more of it.

  Instead, she pressed a hand to the front of her shirt and the necklace that hung under it. The one Orion had given her a few years ago on her birthday.

  “Pretty hairy afternoon.” Bridget shifted closer and unwrapped the ham, dumping it on the cutting board so she could start slicing it to the size of the rolls. “But everything turned out all right. Except for that driver.”

  Never mind the question of who on earth would do that. Or why. Had it been a targeted attack against the victim, or the camp?

  Her mind kept replaying that image of Charlie flying back.

  She’d been thanking God since then that no one else had been hurt. They had all been protected by the tanker from the force of the blast.

  Her breath came fast.

  Tears gathered in her eyes. She sniffed and held her breath before pushing it out slowly. Get a grip, girl.

  “No one will blame you if you cry a little,” Bridget said. “He could’ve died. I bet Orion is having a rough time as well right now.”

  Jayne gasped, trying to get ahold of herself. She’d nearly lost so much.

  “He’s the father of your son. You’re allowed to freak out a little when he nearly died.”

  She shook her head. “I have to hold it together.”

  “Why?”

  Jayne stared at her.

  “Why can’t you just let yourself fall apart for a second?”

  She turned for the pantry. “I need to make the frosting.”

  Jayne swiped a tear from her face. She’d cried plenty of times, alone with a crying baby in the middle of the night. That was practically expected when your hormones were on a rollercoaster ride. Now she was supposed to be mature. In charge. The one who carried the weight of all the responsibility.

  As much as she’d wanted someone to share it with over the years, that wasn’t what God had given her.

  Life was what it was. She thanked God for each day she had and the overflow of blessings He had given her. If she wanted something more than that, it flew in the face of the contentment she tried to live by.

  “I’m just glad we’re all okay here.” She carried the powdered sugar back to the area with the mixer, strategically ignoring the disappointed look on Bridget’s face. “So it’s time to celebrate that. When Orion shows up, we can get this party started.”

  She headed for the big industrial refrigerator and the blocks of cream cheese.

  “I’ll be praying for the crew removing the body.” Bridget shivered. “And no doubt Sheriff Hutchinson will be up here investigating soon enough.”

  Jayne glanced over. Bridget had been sweet on the sheriff for a long while.

  “They’ll get to the bottom of it.”

  Jayne was pretty sure she was supposed to be the one reassuring her friend. As camp director, she was responsible for morale as much as physical safety and learning.

  Instead, Bridget was trying to reassure her.

  “All I know is that we’re up here until the road is clear. So it’s time to pray the wind dies and the fire banks, or we’ll be hunkered down while it rolls over us.” She began to hum her favorite hymn.

  If Jordan above me shall roll…

  She’d read that verse this morning, the one where Paul said, “For to me to live is Christ, and to die is gain.”

  A hard thing when there was so much to do here. It might be gain for Charlie to go to heaven, but they would be left with grief and the promise of seeing each other again. The loss of so much of what could have been.

  Thou wilt whisper thy peace to my soul. No matter what, she had God’s peace by His Spirit.

  She needed to talk with Alexis and ensure the girl would be all right. With no mother, if something happened to her father, she would surely be devastated. She would need people to come around her and support her through even more loss.

  Jayne’s chest tightened. She watched the frosting stir around in the mixer.

  Losing Charlie? She didn’t want to go through that all over again.

  Orion was old enough he could make his own decision about the relationship he wanted with his father.

  Jayne wasn’t prepared to risk loss just for the chance that it might be nice to have him in her life again. Charlie didn’t live here. He had two kids to focus on now. She would only get in the way and wind up being a drain on his time that he resented.

  No. She wouldn’t be demanding anything of him.

  Not now, and not ever.

  FIVE

  Even though he’d rather have sacked out on a couch, Charlie had been relegated to a guest staff room that only had a bed, a desk and wooden chair, and a dresser. There had been something hanging on the wall earlier, but now it was just a hook. Some pieces of picture frame were in the trash can by the desk, but anything else had been swept away.

  Alexis sat in the chair, which she’d pulled over to the side of the bed. Charlie had kicked off his boots and sat on the bed with his back to the wall. He could feel his eyelids wanting to close, but didn’t let them.

  “Jayne seems nice.”

  Alexis said, “Of course she is. She’s great.”

  Because he had such good taste in women? Not hardly. She might be the one exception to that trend in his life. But that wasn’t what he’d meant. Jayne had raised one child well already—which he took as a great sign that he’d been right on with his plan.

  He was the one who had screwed up fatherhood.

  Alexis would be well taken care of.

  “She talks a lot about God and the Bible. I don’t know much about that stuff.” She adjusted her seat on the chair. “But it sounds nice, and it means a lot to her to talk about it. You know how people have that…calm about them? They just don’t get ruffled by everything happening in the world.”

  Charlie nodded. “I know people like that.” Christians he worked with and was friends with. “They’re good folks.”

  She stood. “You need anything?”

  Charlie studied her. “I should be asking you that. Considering all the years I didn’t work harder to make sure you had what you needed.” He rubbed a hand on the Backdraft Pizza Grill T-shirt over his chest. “So no, I don’t need anything, Lexi.”

  She looked away, her hands gripping the back of the chair. “Okay.”

  “Thanks for asking.”

  He spotted a tiny smile, and she tucked the chair back under the desk. “Goodnight, Dad.”

  Charlie’s eyes closed before he heard her shut the door, but when his phone started to buzz in his pocket, he managed to put it on speaker. “Benning.”

  “It’s Houston. Heard you got blown up.”

  Charlie chuckled. “Only a little. You fell through a hole in the ground.”

  “Doesn’t sound nearly as interesting as a land mine.”

  It had probably hurt a whole lot less, though. At least he had his medicine tin in his pocket, or he would’ve been forced to have someone bring him more pills. That would reveal every secret he had and ruin his entire summer plan.

  Now that he knew Jayne would do right by Alexis, he was even surer that he was on to something that would work.

  Houston sighed. “Anyway, since I’m not back out until tomorrow, I was designated to sit in the office at Ember Fire HQ and call around with updates. So here goes. Orion held the scene until the Trouble Boys showed up, and then the sheriff and the coroner. They cleared the road around the truck, since the mines that exploded were close together.”

  “Any more mines?” Charlie hadn’t heard any explosions.

  “Nope. They got the body out of the truck and off to the morgue and didn’t find any more explosives. But they also walked every inch of road around the truck and back, so we’re sure the two were all that had been buried.”

  Charlie blew out a breath. “Not a job I’d have volunteered for.” He’d probably have waited for the feds or the military to send a working dog that could sniff out explosives.

  “Miles is finding a wrecker that can come to clear the propane truck from the road. We also have to ensure there are no unexploded land mines that were buried under where the truck is lying. So that might take time, even after we get something to haul it away.”

  “Given the size, it might need a flatbed semi to haul it away.”

  “I’ll make a note of that for the report,” Houston said. “Apparently there’s a smokejumper with a connection to the ATF? But they’re also talking to the National Guard. Whoever can get there faster to take care of it. Make sure no one else gets hurt.”

  “Good.” The smokejumper was Logan, whose sister Andi had fallen hard for Jude—the ATF special agent. “As long as it’s cleared.”

  “Orion reported the fire is out. He’ll be back up at the camp soon. No need to stay out all night.”

  Charlie wanted to see his son. But what was he going to say? A hundred things rolled through his mind, each one sounding as dumb as the last.

  “How are Alexis and the rest of the kids?”

  “They were great today.” He’d been blown away by the caliber of their training. “And Alexis is good. Came by to talk to me without any prompting. Just wanted to sit and visit.”

  “That’s great.”

  “Hey, later in the summer…will you chat with her? She might have questions about Jesus and faith. All that stuff. Can you answer them for her?” For him too. “Can you make sure she’s on the right path?”

  “Sure I will,” Houston said. “But why can’t you do that?”

  Charlie tried to think of an answer. He wasn’t as clued in as Pastor Houston James, but Houston wasn’t going to accept that as a good reason.

  “Does this have to do with that thing with the nurse?”

  “I’ve got it covered.” Those words had become a refrain. Despite what had cropped up the last couple of days: seeing Jayne, finding out about Orion. How things were turning out still wasn’t bad. At least, not as bad as they could’ve been.

  “Is that true?”

  Charlie said, “Don’t worry about me. Just make sure Lexi is going to be all right.”

  “All right.” Houston spoke quietly. “Sounds like Jayne plans to carry on as normal. They wouldn’t be headed to town as a group for a few weeks anyway. We can bring a chopper up there with any needed supplies, or if we’ve got to airlift someone out.”

  Jayne.

  Charlie’s energy level slipped to the floor. He let out a long sigh.

  “What’s going on, Charlie? You good?”

  “Just tired.” His eyes were drifting closed.

  “Is that really all it is?”

  He might as well give the pastor something to pray about. “Jayne and I…it was a long time ago. We were seventeen.” He tried saying it out loud. “I only found out today. Orion is my son.”

  “Brother…wow. That’s…I don’t even know what to say.”

  Charlie chuckled, not even opening his eyes. “That about sums it up.”

  “I’ll be praying for you. Let God guide it. Let Him give you the words to say. After you get some sleep.”

  “Thanks.”

  “Take care, yeah?”

  The phone beeped.

  Charlie drifted, not even bothering to slide down onto the bed. He slept propped up against the walls, having fitful dreams where Orion turned away from him, and seconds later, flames swallowed everything.

  He woke up in semidark, a little light from the hall spilling under the door.

  He took a couple of pills he should take before bed—if he slept a normal schedule—with the bottled water on the nightstand. If the pattern held, he wouldn’t sleep again for a few hours.

  Plenty of time to walk off the aches of the day.

  He decided to check out the camp, since land mines could mean anything and there was no security up here. Did they have a way to protect themselves? He strode out of the hall and into the common area and looked around.

  Gleaming kitchen, visible through the open cafeteria window.

  Shiny counters.

  Chairs overturned on the table. Clean floor underneath.

  He scanned the living area and stopped short. A popular sci-fi TV show he’d never watched but knew plenty about now played on the screen. Jayne lay on the couch, holding a tissue to her nose.

  She spotted him and gasped, scrambling up to sitting, and immediately pointed at him. Tears streamed down her face. “Not a word out of you. It’s a good show!”

  Charlie lifted his hands. “I happen to have it on good authority that Trek of the Osprey is the best show ever. And I’m prepared to cite my sources.” He shrugged one shoulder and lowered his hands. “Ever heard of Spenser Storm?”

  Jayne folded her arms. “Spenser Storm? You expect me to believe you know him?”

  Charlie grinned. He dug out his phone and came over to show her the screen.

  She stared at the picture of four hotshots—including Charlie and Orion—with Spenser in the center. “You know him.”

  “Hate to burst your bubble, but he’s crazy in love with Emily.” He waved his phone. “The blonde in the middle. She’s nuts over him too, so it works.”

  “Spenser Storm is dating a wildland hotshot?” She absolutely loved that idea.

  Charlie shrugged his shoulder. “They were shooting a movie nearby a few weeks ago, with that superstar Winchester Marshall there and everything. Emily was the hotshot assigned to oversee fires on set. They fell pretty hard for each other—out a second story window, actually.”

  Jayne chuckled. “I’d like to hear that story.”

  “It’s happened a couple more times since. One of the guys, Houston? He fell for Sophie.”

  “Sophie Lamb? She runs the horse rescue place just outside Ember?”

  Charlie nodded.

  “I love her.” She folded her arms. “Is he a good guy?”

  “Youth pastor. His brother is my chief. Was my chief. In Last Chance County.”

  “Where you worked rescue squad?” Orion had filled her in on some other details when he got back. He’d peeked in on his dad, but Charlie had been sleeping. They’d both decided to leave him alone. Except Jayne hadn’t been able to go to her room and pretend like everything was fine. Her mind had been spinning far too much to rest.

  So she’d opted for her guilty pleasure—sci-fi reruns.

  “Yep. Fifteen years on rescue squad.”

  “That’s amazing.”

  “Usually this is when people ask why I never made lieutenant.”

  “I’d like to know everything about you. But not because I think you should have hit some arbitrary standard.”

  “It’s really just my same job but with a bunch of paperwork.”

  Why was he staring at her like that—as if she was some kind of unknown thing? After all they’d shared? He knew her better than he thought he did.

  She focused back on what they’d been saying. “Lieutenant would probably be a pay raise too.”

  “Money that Helena would’ve had taken out of my paycheck by the court so she could ‘take care of Alexis.’ By going to Hawaii with her friends for ‘self-care’ and leaving Alexis at home. All so she could be the best mom she could be because she was living her best life.”