Jayne frowned.

  “Sorry.” He rubbed a hand through his sleep-rumpled hair. “I probably sound bitter. But you always did bring the honest truth out of me.”

  “I’d rather have that than a lie.”

  “Bad relationship?”

  She shook her head. “It’s just been me.”

  “Since…”

  She nodded. Since him.

  “I know we didn’t leave it in a good place. I had to go home, and you were going to high school here. I wasn’t mature enough to handle what we had. But I didn’t want you to be alone all these years.”

  “I wasn’t alone. I had Orion.” She sat backward on the arm of the couch, her elbow on the head cushion. “I wanted to be the best mom I could be. Nothing like mine.”

  She didn’t want to get into the past. At least, not that part of it. So she said, “I was working here and not going to town much except for supplies. I wasn’t going to waste money on a babysitter just to go out and waste money on food and drink that would make me grumpy the next day.” She shrugged. “Orion deserved better than that.”

  Charlie said, “Sounds like you did right by him. He’s an amazing kid. And a crazy-good firefighter.”

  Who wanted to be a smokejumper. Someone who fell out of planes. On purpose. The idea filled her with so much dread she wanted to be sick. Enough that she had to turn away so Charlie didn’t see the honest truth on her face.

  She spotted her phone on the coffee table and picked it up. Frowned. “Nothing.”

  “What’s wrong?”

  She turned to him. “There’s a guy staying in one of the hill cabins. I told him about our status update. That he should be ready to leave when they upgrade us to ‘go,’ but he never responded. I’m worried about him. He’s a bit of a loner.”

  Charlie said, “Do you want to walk up the hill and make sure he’s okay?”

  She hadn’t wanted to go by herself, and Orion had been exhausted. But Charlie had napped. “If you feel up to walking a few miles.”

  “I’ve got some in me.” He patted his chest. “I’m not so old and broke down that I can’t sneak out after dark with you like the good old days.”

  She giggled. “We still frown on that kind of behavior, you know.” That was how Alexis had put it together that Orion was her half-brother.

  “I promise I’ll keep my hands to myself.”

  Thankfully the kids all slept within the main house⁠—girls on the upper floor with the balcony, and boys on the basement level that led out to the hot tub on the back patio. They were all hunkered down for the night, though she knew some of the guys were still watching a movie in their common area. The Masterson twins’ parents were in a different time zone, so they were waiting for their parents to wake up so they could call.

  Charlie stopped on the porch so she could click the front door shut.

  Overhead, a moth buzzed around the porch light. The smell of wildfire smoke hung in the air. She could hear the river from what she referred to as her “front yard” even though it was the driveway. Or the main drag through camp.

  “You could’ve knocked me over with a feather, seeing that fire truck pull up behind me today and y’all jump out.” He grinned.

  She went first off the front steps, wearing her muck boots. What was the point in trying to dress up? It was so dark she had to light their way with a flashlight, and it wasn’t like she was trying to impress Charlie by being something she wasn’t. Why wear fashionable shoes?

  He’d asked her about relationships, but so what? Now he knew she had no one. About the saddest story ever told. But she liked her life.

  She’d raised her son.

  Trained group after group of kids.

  Seen some of them become firefighters, now friends who emailed her every once in a while so they could catch up.

  Charlie clicked his flashlight on. “Smells the same. Sounds the same.”

  “Looks a little older, though.”

  He nudged her. “Speak for yourself.”

  She laughed and shoved at his shoulder. “Oh, I should’ve asked you if you needed something to eat. Were you hungry?”

  He shrugged. “I’m good.”

  “Alexis did say you’ve lost weight. I get busy and focused and forget to eat.” She maybe should’ve done that more, and then she wouldn’t look so much like a middle-aged mom. Jayne sighed. “It’s this way.”

  She strode ahead of him, hanging a right at the old tree and hitting the trail that snaked up the hillside. Anyone that stayed here had to pack in and pack out. No electricity. Running water that was as cold as the stream. The food you ate was the food you carried in. Fire pit. Lanterns that were powered by battery.

  It was a great place to be off the grid.

  Except when the camp had to be evacuated because of a wildfire.

  “There’s just one of these?” Charlie said. “I remember several, is that right?”

  “Only one is currently occupied.” She scanned the dark with her flashlight. “And pretty hard to find if you don’t know what you’re looking for.”

  “Who’s the guest?”

  “Roger Kirkpatrick. He seemed familiar, like I’ve seen him before. He showed up with cash a couple of weeks ago, and I ran his ID. The sheriff didn’t have his name pop with anything.”

  “Good call. Can’t be too careful these days.”

  Jayne said, “A lot of the time, I just go with my gut. I let the Lord lead me in how I feel about my read on a person. He didn’t raise any red flags with me.”

  She reached the end of the trail that opened to the cabin and the land around it. Maybe an acre total, tucked in the woods. A great hideaway—or romantic getaway spot.

  Not that she’d ever have need of one. But she was with Charlie. Those thoughts came naturally, and she’d have to work to avoid slipping back there if they spent much more time together.

  Neither of them was the person they’d been years ago. Right now she just wanted to get to know her son’s father—which was probably what Orion also wanted to do.

  “The front entrance is over here.” She rounded the cabin and saw the door open.

  Stopped.

  “I’ll go first.” Charlie touched her shoulder, then stepped past her to jog up the four steps and push the door open. “Somebody was here. Looks like they left in a hurry.” He stuck his head out, a dark look on his face. “But they didn’t take their stuff.”

  Jayne turned to scan the dark woods around them.

  The flashlight snagged on an animal, low to the ground in trees, red eyes in the artificial glow. “I don’t like this. He could be in trouble.”

  SIX

  Charlie peeked at the breakfast casseroles he had assembled and then closed the oven. He could be in trouble. Plenty of that had been going on the past few weeks, but being here at Wildlands Academy felt like a reprieve from it.

  Now there could be a man in danger close by.

  As he straightened, pain lanced through his lower back. No one was around, so he gave himself a moment to be honest. Braced both hands against the edge of the counter and bowed his head. He groaned against the pain.

  The fatigue.

  The unfairness of it all. Not just being diagnosed with a treatable disease—but the fact that it was one that meant giving up everything he was and asking Alexis to jeopardize her own future just to save his life.

  He wasn’t worth it.

  And the fact that he’d never be a firefighter again? He should walk over the ridge and into the flames right now.

  One tiny problem? He was scared to death of doing it. Feeling all that pain. Knowing he’d chosen to end his life.

  Even if he’d reasoned it was the only worthwhile avenue for everyone he knew, he still couldn’t imagine the anguish he’d have to be under to finally bring himself to go through with it. But if he waited more than another few weeks, it might be too late. He’d have to jump in his truck and find a canyon or bridge to go over.

  Give Alexis the chance to make the future she wanted.

  Save Orion from having to learn how much of a screwup he was.

  Jayne…

  He had no idea what he even wanted to feel about her, but it felt like all those old feelings had stirred to life again after being dormant for so long. As if they’d never really gone away. He’d missed so much of the good years of her life and the time he’d been healthy. Called a hero.

  He wanted to be that man for her, but it would never happen.

  But the fact was, her life wouldn’t be better with him in it. She’d been so scared the night before. The last thing he wanted was to cause her grief. He’d be piling more on Alexis, but he knew she was strong enough to handle it.

  He refused to be a burden.

  Charlie was going to go out on his terms. His choice.

  No matter what anyone else thought. He would do what he had to do.

  Nothing would change his mind and leave him hurting Alexis more than he had so many times already.

  “Everything okay?”

  He straightened, trying not to let on that even that hurt. Charlie said, “Breakfast is almost ready.”

  “That’s not what I asked.” Orion lifted a coffee mug to his lips.

  “I didn’t sleep all that great.” True enough.

  “You’re not hiding as much as you want to believe you are.” Orion leaned against the wall by the door, where Charlie had found the meal plan that said omelets for today. “I didn’t put it together until Alexis said what she did about you having lost weight. I had figured it was the physical exertion of being a hotshot, but it’s more than that, isn’t it?”

  Charlie stared at his son. “Yes.”

  No pretense. No lies.

  “Is there anything I can do?”

  Charlie reached into the pocket of his pants and pulled out a metal tin. He shook it, which made the medication inside rattle. “I’m good for a few days. But if this goes on any longer than that, I’ll need to get back to the Ember base camp and get more meds.”

  They’d worked together for long enough that a professional rapport had developed between them. Things were different now that he knew Orion was his son.

  “I’m sorry I never got to see you grow up. I missed out on everything, and I’ll go to my grave regretting not being able to be your father.”

  “It wasn’t Mom’s fault.”

  The kid wanted to defend Jayne, which meant he loved her enough to do what he could to protect his mom. “What did she tell you about me?”

  Orion looked at the mug in his hands. “That you were both far too young. That you both had issues you needed to deal with. She said it was better if you got to live your life.”

  Better for him. Not better for her that she didn’t have to contend with a baby and Charlie’s problems?

  “Don’t be mad at her.”

  Charlie sighed. “What would be the point in that? What’s done is done.” And they were stuck here for the time being. His life was too short to hold a grudge to the end.

  “So you don’t resent that she basically kept you from knowing me?”

  “I’m not going to make her life miserable over her choice.” He didn’t have enough time left, or the energy, to do that.

  Orion stared at him. “All right.” He nodded. “I checked in with Miles. They’re deploying us with the team close enough that we can hike from here and meet up with them. But they’re going to go assess first. See what the conditions are like.”

  “You don’t want to stick around here at camp? Make sure your mom and everyone stays out of danger?”

  Orion said, “If we meet up with the team, we get to keep the fire from coming anywhere near this place.”

  So his mom hadn’t told him about the missing camper? She had told Charlie she would call the sheriff first thing and report him missing. Charlie wanted to go walk around the cabin in the daylight, right after breakfast. Make sure the man hadn’t been hurt and wasn’t lying somewhere they hadn’t been able to see in the dark.

  If Orion wanted to protect the home he’d grown up in by doing his job, that wasn’t a bad thing. “Good deal. But I plan on being here until I’m ordered otherwise.”

  “This isn’t a vacation.”

  Charlie glanced aside at Orion, wondering what the kid was thinking. “You okay? You saw a dead body yesterday. It was pretty gruesome inside that truck cab. Can’t have been much better seeing it up close.”

  Orion shrugged. “Mack and I cleared debris. The other Trouble Boys took care of the body.”

  So Ham, Mack’s older brother, had made sure the two young guys on the hotshot team hadn’t come face-to-face with something they didn’t need to see.

  And they’d let him protect them like that. Knowing full well why Ham had put them on clean-up duty.

  “This camp has a fire truck. Does it have anything that would help us move that propane truck from where it’s blocking the road?”

  Orion shook his head. “Couple ride-on lawn mowers. Those two ATVs, and a snowplow attachment. The fire truck has a winch, but it’s not going to shift a vehicle that size.”

  “I guess we’re waiting for Miles to get it towed, then.”

  Orion said, “The wind is going to shift today. Another front is coming down from Canada. We might have to take the kids up to meet our team if it’s bad enough they need help.”

  Charlie hadn’t checked the morning fire forecast and weather report. “You think things could get dicey?”

  “Miles requested all the planes he could, but there’s a blaze in Idaho they’re covering this morning before the heat of the day. We’re a lower priority unless something changes.”

  “And the helicopter from yesterday?”

  Orion said, “Both of them are focusing on the south and west. Since the fire burned through that campground, everyone wants it kept away from residences. It’s up to our team to cut a line to protect the camp.”

  “And we’re going to be pushing hard against the wind all day.”

  He nodded. “Miles said the helicopters might even have to be grounded later today if conditions get too bad.”

  Charlie pulled one casserole out, then the other. The smell of onion, bacon, and cheese hit his nose, and his stomach grumbled for once. A positive sign that he might actually feel like eating a whole meal.

  He needed the energy.

  Orion came over. “Those smell amazing.”

  “The Crawford breakfast special.”

  “Like Logan, the smokejumper?” There was a whole lot of hero worship in Orion’s eyes.

  “His brother. My lieutenant, Bryce Crawford.” Charlie said, “I can teach you how to make it.”

  “Sweet.” Orion said, “Are you going to stick around here at the end of summer? Or are you going back to Last Chance County?”

  Not quite the hero worship, as when he’d been talking about Logan, but not nothing. Charlie didn’t know what to say, though. He couldn’t make any plans for the future.

  Not now, and not ever.

  He couldn’t say, I don’t know where I’ll be. Or, We’ll see how it goes. Because neither of those would be true.

  “Or do you have something else lined up? You’re not staying here, and you’re not going home either?” Orion frowned. “What are you going to do?”

  Charlie hesitated.

  “I’ll ask Alexis. At least she’ll tell me the truth.”

  “I’ve never lied to you.”

  “Then don’t start now.” Orion set his cup down hard. “Are you staying or not?”

  He didn’t know what to say. After weeks of being colleagues, this new dynamic was odd, to say the least. How was he supposed to explain that he’d come here for the summer not expecting to do anything at all at the end of the season?

  “If you can’t even give me an honest answer that you don’t know”—Orion stepped back and headed for the door—“then forget it.”

  Charlie watched him go, the ache in his chest intensifying as his son moved out of view.

  The bell for meals rang.

  It was better this way. Better not to get too close when it would be over soon anyway.

  Orion couldn’t miss what he’d never had.

  Jayne eyed Charlie and took another bite. “Who did you say came up with this?”

  He had that knowing look on his face that got her into so much trouble as a seventeen-year-old. “Lots of meals in the firehouse are called ‘what’s in the fridge.’ That’s all this is, really.”

  She nodded, then swallowed the bite, trying to figure out what seasonings he’d added to get a simple breakfast casserole to taste like this.

  “What did the sheriff say about your guest up the hill?”

  “He was out on a call, so I left a message and chatted with the receptionist for a bit.” Jayne knew her from a ladies’ Bible study she’d attended in the spring.

  Orion sat at the long cafeteria table, and all the kids had settled in groups to eat breakfast, chatting, laughing. Someone had put the weather channel on the TV, but it wasn’t showing anything near enough to Ember to help them with the day’s fire forecast.

  “Do you still want to go look around that cabin?” Charlie asked. “See if we just missed that guy ’cause it was dark?”

  She nodded. “I want to be sure he’s actually missing if we’re going to make the sheriff drive all the way up here.” Which meant she couldn’t teach the kids this morning. “Orion, could you take the training class until morning break?”

  Orion glanced at Charlie, an expression on his face she recalled from second grade when one of the other kids had stolen his basketball. A kind of angry, upset thing she didn’t know how to fix. He scraped his chair back and walked to the calendar on the wall.

  Sparky got up and shook himself off, padding over on those four spindly legs behind her son.

  Today was buddy rescue drills and then a lecture on cloud formations. He ruffled Sparky’s head and came back to pick up his plate. “I’ll cover it.”

  Jayne twisted in her seat to look at Charlie, recalling now that she’d sat first. Then Orion. Charlie had come along later and purposely sat beside Orion, who hadn’t even looked at him. “What was that about?”

  Charlie got up, looking a whole lot like Orion had when he did the same thing just a moment ago. “Let’s go look for that guy.” He took his half-empty plate, dumped the uneaten food, and set the dish in the bin to be washed. He turned to stare at her, probably because she hadn’t followed him.