“I don’t think—”

  “Caleb, it’s fine. I’ve been in there before.”

  His gaze went from me to her. “What’s going on? Are you two together? Dating?”

  “No.” She shook her head. “We’re just friends.”

  “Friends?” He jerked back. “Tristian, if Grandfather finds out your friends with a Montgomery, he’ll—”

  “Just drive and let me worry about him, okay?”

  “Fuck, man! Why are you even driving a street bike to begin with? Especially with what happened to your par—”

  “Caleb!” I yelled, annoyed with all his questions. “Stop riding my ass and just drive. I’ll explain later.”

  He reluctantly sighed, doing as he was told.

  Lucky for us, Belle’s plan worked.

  From the second he helped me onto her bed, he warned, “You know what Grandfather will do if he finds out about you two.”

  I nodded.

  “What are you doing? Why are you even friends with her?”

  “The less you know the better.”

  “Don’t do that. Don’t push me away like you do everyone else, Tristian. I’m not the enemy. I’m just worried that you’re in way over your head.”

  “I have it under control.”

  “Have what under control?” The realization hit him fast and hard. “Holy shit. Please don’t tell me you’re in love with her?”

  “Alright, I won’t tell you.”

  “Do you have a death wish?”

  “Maybe.”

  “Obviously, or why else would you be riding a street bike?”

  “For fuck’s sake, man! Can you get off my dick for a minute? I know what I’m doing. You can go now.”

  “You’re so fucking stubborn.” He backed away. “This conversation isn’t over.”

  “Noted. If Grandfather asks, I crashed at your house tonight, okay? I need you to cover for me. Now go.”

  He shook his head in disappointment before he spun and left, fully aware I’d win this argument. I closed my eyes, breathing a sigh of relief that he was gone. I wasn’t sure how long I laid there, lost in my own personal hell when Belle suddenly walked into her bedroom. Pain reliever in one hand and an ice pack in the other.

  Slowly, I sat up against her headboard, groaning out in pain.

  “Here.” She opened the pill bottle, grabbing the water that was on her nightstand and handed them to me. “These are my dad’s pain pills. He uses them when his back is acting up. They’re strong, so only take one—”

  I took three.

  “Tristian!”

  “What? Do you want me to be in pain?”

  “I want you to be coherent.”

  “I’m a big boy, kitten. I’ll be fine.”

  I handed the glass back to her, and she sat it on her nightstand.

  “Are you really okay?”

  “Mmm hmm.”

  “Even if you weren’t okay, you wouldn’t tell me the truth, would you?”

  “I don’t lie to you.”

  “I find that hard to believe, but I’ll accept it for now.”

  The look on her face was full of concern.

  Confusion.

  Longing.

  Which had me questioning my resolve about how much I’d share with her in that moment.

  —Belle—

  After I helped him get dressed in some of my brother’s clothes, I changed into a hoodie and sweats. The uncomfortable silence hammered all around me, tearing into my insecurities that it was a bad idea having him in my bedroom with my parents not being home.

  But what else was I supposed to do?

  I couldn’t just leave him to face the consequences by himself. Although, Tristian’s body was in the room with me, his mind was somewhere else entirely.

  He looked lost.

  I’d never seen that look on anyone’s face before.

  The quietness was deafening, stirring me to ask, “You live with your grandfather?”

  His eyes locked with mine as I sat in front of him on my bed.

  “I have since my parents died.”

  “And when was that?”

  He winced, it was quick, but I saw it.

  “Never mind, we don’t have to tal—”

  “I was six.”

  “Oh my God. I’m so sorry, Tristian. You were just a little boy.”

  “It made me a man.”

  “No one should have to go through that. I couldn’t imagine what I’d do if something happened to my parents.”

  “You learn to adapt.”

  “Can I ask what happened?”

  He thought about it for a second. I didn’t think he’d reply, so when he looked away, I felt as if he was reliving it all over again.

  “It’s my first memory…”

  My mouth parted, hanging on by a thread.

  “Watching them die in front of me.”

  I sucked in a breath, feeling his response in the pit of my stomach. My heart immediately ached for him.

  “He had all kinds of different bikes. It was his addiction. He collected them.”

  “The bikes that you’re riding. Are they his?”

  “Yeah. It was the only possessions of his that my grandfather kept. He knew how much they meant to him.”

  Chalk it up to hormones, or maybe it was me desperately wanting to form a connection with him. In that second, sitting in front of him, it felt like I was the first person he’d shared this with. He’d exposed a side to him that no one knew existed, possibly not even him.

  It seemed like he needed to get out whatever was weighing on him. His body shifted around as he abruptly looked deep into my eyes and searched for something I couldn’t place. The only thing I could see was a war raging in his stare. An internal battle was taking place of what was right and what was wrong. It was sitting directly in front of him this whole time.

  Me.

  The serious expression on his face captivated me in a way I had never experienced before, which only added to the plaguing emotions that were wreaking havoc between us.

  I waited on pins and needles, desperately wanting to know what happened to them.

  He didn’t make me wait too long, divulging, “The only thing I remember before the crash was watching them ride off into the sunset. My mom was on the back of my dad’s street bike while I was in the car behind them. The chauffeur was driving me as we followed them. It started raining, pouring like it was tonight. I don’t know how long we drove in the storm because it all happened so fast. One minute they were in front of us, the next my dad lost control of his bike. I blinked, and the bike flipped three times until it finally stopped.”

  I didn’t move.

  I was barely breathing.

  Not wanting to distract him from sharing this with me.

  “Our driver slammed on his brakes, ordering me to stay in the car before he ran to them. They weren’t moving. The cop said they died instantly. They shouldn’t have been in any pain.”

  “Tristian…”

  "I watched them die in front of me, and all I kept thinking was how did he lose control. He knew everything about street bikes. I didn’t understand until tonight. I’m sorry, Belle. I didn’t want to realize it with you on the back of his bike.”

  His eyes were getting glossy, though he fought back the tears.

  “After that, I became obsessed with motorcycles. Wanting to know everything he did. If my grandfather knew I was into street bikes like his son was, I don’t know what he’d do. He hates them. Arguing they are nothing but death traps.”

  “I can understand that.”

  “It makes me feel closer to them, kitten. That’s why I ride. It’s the only time I can feel them with me.”

  “Yeah, I understand that too.”

  “I’ve never told anyone this.”

  I smiled a little. “Thank you for telling me.”

  He nodded with so much sadness in his gaze. I couldn’t take it anymore. It hurt too much to look at him.

  “Do you trust me?”

  He nodded again.

  I didn’t think twice about it, I stood and went right into my bathroom and grabbed a few towels before I made my way back to him.

  He looked at me with curiosity. “What are you doing?”

  “I’m helping you the only way I know how.” Reaching for his arm, I placed it over my shoulders. “Come on.”

  “Where are we going?”

  “Not far. Just out to my balcony.”

  “It’s still pouring out.”

  “I know. That’s the point.”

  We stood.

  “Just trust me, okay? I know what I’m doing.”

  Slowly, we walked out to my terrace. Under the pouring rain, I laid down a couple towels by the railing before throwing a few over our heads.

  “Kitten, what are you—”

  “Sit down. We can lean against the railing so you’re not putting pressure on your ribs.”

  Once we were comfortable, he asked, “Why are we sitting in the rain when we just got dry?”

  I laid my head on his shoulder and replied, “It’s rain therapy. It washes away the sadness.” Grabbing his hand, I held it on my lap, knowing he’d feel a thousand times better after this. “I do this every time I’m sad, Tristian. I swear it works.” I kissed his hand. “I don’t like seeing you sad.”

  He didn’t say a word. The stillness was nice. I felt him kiss the top of my head, and I smiled, aware that he was thanking me. We stayed out there until the rain stopped.

  However, our feelings for each other were now…

  Full throttle.

  Chapter 16

  —Belle—

  Now

  In a summer dress, I laid on the beach with my hand rubbing my belly and looked up at the sky, watching the fluffy white clouds pass by. I thought about how much my life had changed and what was yet to come. For some reason, it all hit me today. We’d been in Tahiti for five days now with nine days still left of our honeymoon.

  We were married, trying to make a baby at all hours of the day. My hand slid up and down my stomach, contemplating the possibility of already being pregnant. Today was the first day the realization slammed into my head.

  What if I was pregnant? Would I be a good mother? Would he be a good father? What kind of parents would we be? Did I want a girl or a boy? More kids? How many?

  The questions that arose in my mind were on an endless cycle of one right after the other. People in relationships talked about these things during the dating phase. Getting to know each other and what the other wanted for their future. We skipped that whole stage, jumping headfirst into a marriage of convenience. We weren’t strangers by any means, but in so many ways it felt like we were.

  A lot had changed in our lives in the last twenty years. At times, it felt as if he was still the same boy I fell head over heels in love with.

  A look.

  A word.

  A smile.

  His scent.

  His kiss.

  His hands all over my body.

  They were the same.

  Only continuing to confuse me.

  At least we were on civil speaking terms. I couldn’t keep up with the emotional highs and lows. The attraction for him was still there. There was no hiding from it, seeing it for what it was. I hated being the reason there was so much tension between us.

  Which was why I started spending more time at the beach, away with my thoughts. I’d picture myself with a baby in my arms, showing them how to swim, walk, and talk. Then Tristian would appear in my fantasy, where we were happy, laughing, in love…

  For a moment, our life seemed perfect. Not filled with all this complicated indecision of the future we might never have together. I never imagined I’d be living a life that appeared to be someone else’s. Day in and day out, I thought about Tristian.

  Our baby.

  Were they my family now?

  The rumbling of a motorcycle pulled me away from my thoughts. I sat up and gazed behind me as I heard the bike get closer to me. Stepping into my white sneakers next, I stood and walked toward the street. There in front of my eyes, the past and present collided with such a force I found it hard to breathe.

  Once Tristian noticed I was there, he leaned the street bike on the kickstand and took off his helmet. With an intense stare, he left me speechless. His gaze spoke volumes without having to say a word as he sat there on the bike. For the first time, I welcomed the way he was gazing at me. Almost like I was the same girl I was back then. As soon as his stare shifted to my hand that was still on my belly, I swear I saw a glimmer of hope in his eyes.

  Was he envisioning the same thing I was?

  Breaking our trancelike state, I questioned, “Where did the street bike come from?”

  He grinned. “I rented it for us. I thought I’d take my wife for a ride.”

  I hid back a smile, moseying around the bike. “I’m not exactly dressed for riding.”

  “Never stopped you before.”

  “She’s a beauty.” I nodded, unable to stop the satisfied expression on my face. “A 2019 Kawasaki Z H2.”

  He beamed, loving the fact that I was still obsessed with motorcycles.

  “How many do you own these days?”

  “Like forty,” he replied. “Give or take.”

  “How often do you ride?”

  “Not as much as I’d like to.”

  “I bet the chicks go crazy for you when you’re taking them for a ride too.”

  “No one has been on the back of any of my bikes, besides you.”

  “You’re lying.”

  “I don’t lie to you.”

  I narrowed my eyes at him. “I’m not going to pretend that seeing you on this bike doesn’t affect me.”

  There was a permanent grin on his face. “Why do you think I rented it?”

  “I see. So you want history to repeat itself?”

  “If it involves you loving me again.”

  “And how about you? Where do you stand on that?”

  “I never stopped loving you, kitten.”

  Did he just say he loved me?

  “Come for a ride with me.”

  With a smartass expression, I folded my arms over my chest. “How about you come for a ride with me?”

  He arched an eyebrow. “With you?”

  “Oh, yes. This girl can ride now too.”

  “No shit?”

  “I learned in college.”

  “Do I need to pay your instructor a little visit?”

  “He’s married with three kids.”

  “Good. I didn’t want to have to kill him.”

  I shook my head, giggling.

  “I miss that laugh, kitten. You remember how much you used to laugh for me?”

  “Amongst other things.”

  “All bad?”

  “Some good. Great, actually.”

  “How many bikes do you own now?”

  “About a handful.”

  He got off the bike. “Alright, Belle Hawkins. Show me what you got.”

  Grabbing the extra helmet from his hands, I put it on while I jumped on the seat. Kicking the stand, I hit the accelerator and brakes at the same time, causing the front tire to pop straight up into a perfect wheelie. I didn’t have to look over at him to know he was standing tall and proud. Not wanting to lose any momentum, I displayed all the tricks I knew like the back of my hand. Sliding the bike toward him was my last performance, and I stopped inches away from his feet.

  He instantly started clapping. “Kitten, I’m impressed.”

  I’d be lying if I said I didn’t love hearing him say that to me. Truth was, I wanted to impress him. Anytime I’d ride around town, I’d think of him.

  Even though I didn’t want to.

  Even though I fought it.

  Even though I hated him.

  He was always there with me.

  I had to remind myself he wasn’t the guy I thought he was, the one I wholeheartedly believed I knew. I shook away the hurt, wanting to stay in the moment with him this time.

  Shifting to the back seat, I ordered, “Take me for a ride, Mr. Hawkins.”

  He didn’t have to be told twice, hopping on. For the next hour, we drove all over the island. It was amazing. Everything it used to be for us was still there, breathing new life into our marriage. We were back to being those kids again. The one’s who were wild and free. I loved every second of that afternoon with him.

  It was perfect.

  He was perfect.

  Veering off on a secluded road, he hit the kickstand and shut off the engine. In one swift movement, he turned around and tugged me onto his lap. My legs willingly straddled his waist, Instantaneously recalling all the times we’d talk just like this.

  “The more things change,” I stated, “the more they stay the same.”

  “You remember the last time you were on the back of my bike?”

  “Hmm…” I played coy. “I’m not entirely sure. Maybe you should refresh my memory.”

  “I thought you’d never ask.”

  His eyes dilated as he gripped onto the back of my neck as he kissed my lips. Clutching onto the side of my face with his other hand, he lightly bit my bottom lip. His hands fell to my ass, gripping it nice and tight. The memory of him never compared to real life. I moaned into his mouth, and he groaned into mine. He fisted my hair by the nook of my neck while his other hand glided down the side of my breast to the seam of my panties.

  “Please,” I pleaded against his mouth, fully aware he’d love to hear me beg for it.

  He roughly jerked my hair back to look into my lust-filled glare. When his fingers slid my panties over, I swallowed hard.

  “Fuck.” He touched my pussy. “You’re so wet.”

  I leaned in to kiss him again, but he pulled my hair back harder, urging me to stay right where I was, spread wide open for him. It was only then I realized he wanted to watch me fall apart from his skilled, precise fingers. I swear I could have come from the powerful, greedy, loving way he was staring at me. He rubbed back and forth over my clit, causing my body to shudder from his firm, demanding touch.

  When he slid two fingers inside of me, I breathed out, “Ahhhh.”