I stepped toward her, stopping when we were inches apart. “Kitten, I didn’t marry you for any other reason,” I rasped, needing to finally say it, “than I fucking love you.”

  She slightly gasped. The sound echoed off the walls and into my heart.

  “I love you so much it fucking kills me, destroys me, makes me see nothing but red that you think otherwise. I thought by not saying it, it might make it easier for you, but it’s only making it worse.”

  “Tristian…”

  Tears fell from her and stained her gorgeous face.

  “I’ve loved you since the first moment I laid eyes on you.” I gripped the back of her neck and slammed my lips against hers.

  Kissing her.

  Loving her.

  Fucking devouring her.

  With my hands framing her face, I vowed, “I’m sorry I ever made you cry. I’m sorry for all the pain I caused you. I’m sorry for ever making you feel like I didn’t belong to you. I’m sorry for making you believe that I’d left you.” Leaning my forehead against hers, I added, “Most of all, I’m so fucking sorry that it took me this long to tell you how much I love you. With my heart, my soul, with every inch of my body, my heart beats for only you. Please tell me you know that. You feel it, don’t you?”

  Her chest rose and fell with each deep breath she took. Staring deep into her eyes, the same intense gaze looked back at me.

  “I love you, Belle Hawkins. And I’ll spend the rest of my life making up for the bad decisions that made me lose you.”

  “Tell me the truth then. What happened?”

  There was nothing left for me to express. She deserved to know why I had to leave. I could give her that.

  I could give her me.

  —Belle—

  I can’t believe he said he loved me.

  After all these years, all this time, he finally said the three words I’d been wanting to hear.

  What tormented me.

  Kept me up at night.

  Consumed my thoughts every second of the day.

  Silenced my conscience, my worry, my fears.

  The biggest question of them all was…

  Did I still love him? Could I forgive him?

  The sick feeling in my stomach intensified, and I found it hard to breathe. Panic began to set in, and I could no longer control my thoughts from running wild. I anxiously tried to find my resolve, though it was no use.

  It was long gone.

  In a matter of seconds, my life changed once again. Bile rose in my throat, fighting its way up as tears streamed down my face.

  “I hated you for so long. I don’t know how to love you again.”

  “Kitten, I’ll tell you what you want to know.”

  He grabbed my hand and took the bottle before leading me to the couch. It felt as if time stood still. I never thought I’d hear the truth from his mouth and now that he was going to tell me the truth, I was beginning to think that everything I ever wanted…

  Began and ended with him.

  Chapter 25

  —Belle—

  Then: Debutante Ball

  To the average person, everything and everyone blended in, but I could find the one guy I was looking for amongst my family and my parents’ friends.

  Tristian.

  My debutante masquerade was the ball of the year, as they called it. They turned our already extravagant home into an enchanted masquerade which was as impressive as it sounded. They spared no expense on the gold furnishings, the gaudy furniture, and high-end accents. Both the interior and exterior of the estate boasted nothing but money and wealth.

  It wasn’t a ball.

  It was a production.

  A statement.

  I disregarded my family’s looming presence that shadowed my thoughts as I descended the stairs, right on time.

  Within seconds, a choreographed performance took front and center stage.

  My father approached the stage and accepted the microphone from the emcee. “Everyone, please stand and give your undivided attention to my princess, Belle Montgomery.”

  The crowd quickly parted like the Red Sea, creating a large space for the spectacle that was me. As if on cue, soft light illuminated around the open room. Candlelight illuminated the room like it magically appeared out of thin air, and it gave the ballroom a translucent aura.

  Through a fascinated stare, I watched the people in the room watching my introduction into our elite society. I was a true Southern belle, dressed in my designer gown, a white lace applique bodice full tulle skirt had a rich scarlet satin underlay. It was perfect. Tristian was obsessed when he saw it on me for the first time that afternoon he snuck into my fitting. I felt like the elegant princess my father announced me as.

  I was Southern royalty, and for the first time in my life, I loved it.

  The cascading diamond earrings I wore that my mother let me borrow only accentuated my long neck. My hair was pinned up with soft curls framing my delicate yet defined face. Black eyeliner and mascara accented my bright blue eyes. A white mask covered one side of my face. All eyes were on me as I twirled around the room. It was my time to shine, entrancing everyone with my charm as I basked in the attention.

  My dad grabbed ahold of my hands and pulled me in to a tight embrace.

  “My darling princess,” Dad acknowledged into the microphone, smiling at me with pride and adoration. “I can’t believe this day has come. I’m having a hard time trying to find the words to say to you. Tonight we celebrate your transition into womanhood and honor you with a debutante ball, a tradition that has been carried on for generations in our family. I remember carrying you into this home as a baby as if it were yesterday. How has it been seventeen years since I first held you in my arms?”

  I beamed at him and gripped his hands tighter, seeking strength for the emotions he was evoking in me.

  “You’re the only little girl in our family. We waited years for you to make your appearance. We couldn’t wait until you were finally here to spoil and love. You’re the angel God sent me from heaven above. I remember every detail of your birth, and often find myself replaying it in my mind. I wish you were still my little girl. Now, here you are, standing before me as a young woman ready to take on the world.

  “I want you to know how proud I am of you. I know there are times you wished we wouldn’t protect you like we do, but you’re a treasure. I have high expectations for you, sweetheart. I know there will come a day where I won’t be the only man in your life.”

  “Oh, Daddy…”

  “No, no, no,” he adamantly responded. “I want all of your greatest dreams to come true. You deserve the love of a man like I love your mother. Someone who will protect you, respect you, and put you above all else.”

  “I love you, Daddy.”

  He leaned in and tenderly grabbed my face to kiss my forehead.

  I didn’t pay the room any mind, too consumed by my desire to see Tristian among them. I was able to convince my parents to allow my first dance be with a friend from school. Except, I lied to them about who it was. It wasn’t the son of a prestigious family like I led them to believe. It was actually family rival.

  A Hawkins.

  Nobody would know, at least I silently prayed that they wouldn’t. My father released me, and I made my way around the room greeting my guests.

  The guy dressed in a black three-piece suit caught my devoted attention. A gold mask covered his face, and he blended in with everyone else. But I’d find him anywhere, among anyone. I felt him there from across the room, staring at me. We locked eyes for several seconds, both of us lost in our thoughts of what could happen this evening.

  We were taking a huge risk, one that could change the course of our lives if they found out Tristian was there with us. No Hawkins had ever knowingly stepped foot in any of my family’s homes. Not one. We weren’t just breaking the rules, we were making new ones.

  He was the first to take a long stride toward me, his intense gaze solely focused on me.

  Once he was standing in front of me, he stated, “You look gorgeous, kitten.”

  I beamed. “You don’t look so bad yourself.”

  “That gown...” He smiled. “Nobody can take their eyes off you.”

  He tugged me closer to his torso, wrapping his arm around my lower back and holding me at his side. I wanted to kiss him so bad. We disappeared for a couple of minutes, seeking privacy to take each other in. Our time was cut short when I heard my father announce my first dance.

  The crowd parted and formed a circle around us. It didn’t occur to me until that moment that maybe we should have practiced, but Tristian quickly pushed away my insecurities, like he always did.

  He spun me around a few times until finally bringing me close to his chest. Hugging my body to his, he allowed no space between us. It was what you’d see in a happily ever after movie. Being surrounded by hundreds of people didn’t matter. Our connection made it feel like we were the only two people in the room.

  I couldn’t hide my love for him. I wanted to, but there was no resisting it. He consumed me in every sense of the word. The same emotions I felt were mirrored through his captivated stare. We danced together like we’d been doing it all our lives, completely held hostage by our love. Our dance didn’t last as long as I would have liked. I’d dance all night with him if given the choice.

  He rasped against my ear, delicately brushing his lips over the delicate lobe. “It’s taking everything inside of me not to kiss you in front of your family.”

  I sucked in a breath as he pulled away and took a bow. Clapping his hands, he gestured toward me. I smiled and bowed, entertaining our guests.

  My father danced with me next and then passed me around the room. It felt as if we’d spent hours apart when it was probably only thirty minutes. I finally returned to his arms, and everyone proceeded to dance with us. I couldn’t have asked for a better outcome, happy that we actually got away with it.

  Wanting to live in the moment, I was caught off guard when Tristian whispered in my ear, “Kitten, I need to tell you something.”

  “What is that?”

  His expression shifted into solemness, making my nerves unsteady.

  “What’s going on? You’re freaking me out.”

  “I need you to remember I love you. Can you do that for me?”

  “Of course.”

  He nodded and grabbed my hand. “Come on.” Leading the way to the back of the estate, he didn’t say another word to me.

  However, he didn’t have to.

  I felt all his worry and anxiety.

  “Tristian, what’s going on?”

  The second I saw what he wanted to show me, I stopped dead in my tracks. There in front of me was my favorite street bike. A matte black Ducati 900cc Supersport Twin.

  “Did you buy this for me?”

  He shook his head. “This is my bike, kitten.”

  “Your bike? When did you buy it?”

  “Years ago.”

  My eyes widened. “What are you trying to tell me?”

  He inhaled a deep breath, steadying his breath before stating, “I don’t know how to even say this, so I’m just going to say it, okay?”

  I nodded, never expecting him to admit…

  “I’m Full Throttle.”

  Chapter 26

  —Belle—

  I scrambled backward as fury consumed me, my face flaming hot. He reached for me, but I shoved his hand away.

  “Kitt—”

  “No! You said your name was Chase.”

  “It’s my middle name.”

  “Oh my God…”

  “Let me explain.”

  “Explain?” I roared. Instantly livid with him. “You want to explain what? How you’ve been lying to me for over a year?!”

  “I know, but technically, I didn’t lie to you.”

  “Not telling the truth is a form of lying to me, Tristian!”

  He placed his hands out in front of him in a surrendering gesture. “I was going to tell you.”

  “When? Because you should have told me the moment we met.” The realization hit me like a freight train. “You were waiting for me, weren’t you? My first day of school, running into me. That was a setup, wasn’t it?”

  He shamelessly nodded.

  “You lying asshole!” I pushed him as hard as I could. “Did you know it was me the entire time we’ve been talking in the forum?”

  “Kit—”

  “I can’t believe you. How could you do this to me?”

  “I never imagined it’d turn into what we have now. I just…”

  “You just, what? Wanted to fuck your rival?”

  “You’re not my enemy, Belle. You never were.”

  “Then what was this for? Huh? Why did you do all this?”

  “I think that’s pretty self-explanatory, kitten. I wanted you.”

  “And you always get what you want, right? Have I been a game to you this entire time?”

  “You were never a game.”

  “Right… So pretending to be someone you’re not—”

  “I am Full Throttle. Nothing I ever told you was a lie.”

  “How did you know it was me on the forum?”

  “I’ll tell you after you calm down.”

  “Tristian…”

  Backed into a corner, he admitted, “I snuck into your room one night. You left your laptop open while you were in the shower, and I saw it on your browser history.”

  “Wow.” I couldn’t breathe. “You broke into my room before I even knew who you were?! What kind of bullshit is that?”

  “I just… I just wanted to know who you were. I swear I didn’t think this would happen between us.”

  “Why did you continue lying?”

  “I didn’t want to lose that part of you.”

  “What are you talking about?”

  “Belle, whether you want to admit it or not, the way you speak to Chase is different than the way you talk to me.”

  “That’s not true.”

  “You’re honest with him. You don’t hold back. The way you’d talk about your life or me, it was the only way I knew how you felt about me this entire time.”

  “I can’t believe you’re trying to justify this! You lied to me! I told you things in confidence! The amount of torment I’ve had over Chase and you, feeling bad every day because I couldn’t stop talking to Chase. I couldn’t just cut him out of my life. The turmoil of feeling like I was doing something bad. When all along, it was you! I didn’t have to feel bad about anything because I wasn’t doing anything wrong.”

  “Don’t try to act all innocent. You lied to me too, but you don’t see me losing my shit about it.”

  I jerked back. “Lied to you? When did I ever lie to you?”

  “You’ve been keeping your little talks to yourself. Not once have you ever mentioned you had feelings for another guy!”

  “Feelings for another guy?!” I repeated, getting angrier. “Which was you all along! How dare you throw that in my face? I fell in love with you twice!”

  “Exactly! We’re in love. That’s all that matters now, kitten.”

  “I can’t ever trust you again, Tristian. If we don’t have trust, then we don’t have anything.”

  “Bull-fucking-shit. This isn’t that big of a deal.”

  “Why tell me at all? Why not just let Chase disappear?”

  “I couldn’t keep it from you anymore. It was tearing me up inside. I want you. All of you. I’m sick of competing with him. With me.”

  “Oh, you mean the guilt of lying to me? That’s tearing you up? I could see why that would upset you. Poor Chase or Tristian or Full Throttle! Whoever you’re calling yourself these days!”

  I turned around to leave, but he yanked me back to him.

  In a stern tone, he bit, “Don’t walk away from me.”

  “I can’t even look at you. I’m so beyond mad at you right now. I can’t believe you’d do this to me. The deceit has replaced all the love I have for you.”

  “Kitten, I’m sorry about hiding the truth from you, but I never meant to hurt you. Now look at where we are.” He gestured around the open space. “I’m here. With you. On Montgomery territory. After decades of dealing with a bullshit rivalry that has absolutely nothing to do with us! We’re together, and I don’t think that would have happened if it wasn’t for Full Throttle.”

  “We can’t ever know that now, can we?”

  I couldn’t believe he had the audacity to try to make this okay, like it wasn’t a big deal. It was such bullshit, and I wanted no part of it. Love makes you blind, and I could see right through the illusion. The backyard suddenly seemed smaller with all his lies taking up the air and space.

  “We’re not enemies, kitten. Please don’t make us one.”

  The tension escalated with each passing second. The way he knowingly involved himself in my life infuriated me more than words could describe. I swallowed hard, my heart pounding against my chest to the point I swear he could hear it.

  “I have nothing else to hide. What you see is what you get. I promise you.”

  “Yeah? Well, your looks are deceiving.”

  He brushed a loose strand of hair away from my face. His intense eyes narrowed in on me as he swept his thumb across my cheek, but his desperate antics didn’t faze me.

  This wasn’t about me. It never was.

  I was simply a means to an end for him.

  “You don’t want us to be rivals, but you set the track for us to be.”

  “Are you serious? Do you honestly think you were nothing but a game to me?”

  “You got to fuck a Montgomery.”

  “Kitten—”

  “Don’t call me that. Better yet, stay away from me.”

  “You don’t mean that. You’re just mad at me. I’ll make it up to you. I swear it.”

  “It’s too late. The damage is done. How do you not see that is beyond me, Tristian.”

  I walked away from the love of my life that evening. Allowing the betrayal to tarnish the love I felt for him. I wish I had known then that this moment, this fight, would be the last we ever had…