* * *

  Three days later, Hawke dropped the last of Kit’s gear in her living room, the sound echoing through her quiet house.

  Although exhausted from the past few weeks both mentally and physically, Kit made a full circle, taking in the comforts of civilization, everything in its familiar place. After being gone longer than she ever had from home, it was strange being here again. No dust. No heat. No creatures. And soon no Hawke.

  “Kit, I’d better—”

  She didn’t want him to leave quite yet. “I’m glad we stopped by Zach’s.” Caught in the tether of his gaze, she swallowed hard to clear her throat. “And I told him about our discovery. Did you see his look?”

  “He says he’s a scientist, not an archaeologist, but he’s got more of his grandfather in him than he thinks. I could see him making plans for an expedition while we were talking to him.”

  “And I’ll go with him and savor every moment in the cave. I still can’t believe we actually found something!”

  “Believe it, Kit. Whatever it is will be a significant discovery. Those gold murals alone are priceless pieces of history. A storybook on the wall.”

  “Will you guide us?” she asked, barely able to contain her excitement as her find really began to sink in.

  Hawke stepped back, as though it was necessary to begin separating himself from her. “No. Gus said he would. This find has intrigued my uncle. Something he didn’t know about on what he considers his land.”

  Silence hung between them for a long moment. She’d known this moment would come when they would have to say their goodbyes, but he’d been so much a part of her life these past weeks. It would feel strange not to have him to talk to.

  Her throat still tight, she finally said, “Would you like something to drink before you have to go back?”

  “No, I’d better not.” His gaze shifted away and lit upon her gear stacked nearby. “If you want, I can take this into your bedroom before I go.”

  “Sure. If I never lug a forty-pound backpack again, I’ll be one happy camper. Just let me get my digital camera since I need to send Zach the pictures I took.”

  She bent down and dug through her gear until she located her camera. As she withdrew it, her gaze fell upon a scrap of paper under the coffee table. Curious, she picked it up.

  “That’s odd.” Frowning, she flipped over the piece of a photo.

  What looked like a blue ink line scored the small bit, part of a picture of her house. Why was it on the floor? She didn’t have that many photos, and the ones she had were in her only album on an end table. She certainly hadn’t torn any up that she could remember, and she only had one of her house, taken when she had moved here. She’d wanted a picture of her first home.

  “What’s that?” Hawke asked from the entrance into the living room after stowing her gear in her bedroom.

  “Probably nothing. Just a minute.” She strode to where she kept her album and flipped through the pages until she found where the photo should have been. The blank space glared back at her. “I don’t understand this.”

  Hawke covered the distance between them. “What are you looking at?”

  “This picture is missing. I don’t remember doing anything with it. And why was a piece of it on the floor? It looks like a line has been drawn through…” She scanned the living room, everything in its correct place. Okay, she was just exhausted. That was it—a paranoid holdover from before she went into the canyon. “Never mind. I’m sure it’s nothing. It’s not like this past month hasn’t been hectic. Sometimes I can’t even remember my own name.”

  He took the torn part of the photo and inspected it. “Maybe I should change your locks as a precaution or stay—”

  “That’s okay. I’ll change my alarm code. If anyone tries to come in here, I’ll know about it, along with half the neighborhood. And Marcus is right next door.” There was no way she wanted Hawke to stay here. It would make him leaving later so much harder.

  “But—”

  “You aren’t my bodyguard or my guide anymore, Hawke. I’m making too much out of a scrap of paper. You know how messy I can be. You’ve seen my office. Besides, the City of Gold has been found so there isn’t much a person can do now. It’s not like someone will be able to go into the canyon, find the discovery and claim it.”

  “Yeah, I guess you’re right. I’d better go. I really should stop by the station before going home.” He headed toward the foyer.

  “Hawke, I can’t tell you how much I appreciate you being my guide and taking me to Desolation Canyon. All of this wouldn’t have happened without you.” Her earlier enthusiasm began to die at the distant look on his face.

  One corner of his mouth lifted in a halfhearted gesture. “You told me on numerous occasions you would go into the canyon with or without me. What was I supposed to do?”

  “Ignore the ranting of a desperate woman?”

  “Ah, that’s all it was. Next time—” He averted his gaze. “I mean, I wish I’d known that. I could have spent my vacation lying on a beach somewhere.”

  There would be no next time. She saw that in his expression, especially in his eyes. They had gone dull, flat.

  That’s a good thing, Kit. No messy goodbyes. He goes his way. You go yours. He’d told her he didn’t want a relationship. Why did she think the time in the canyon had changed that? But no matter what she told herself, nothing felt good about this parting.

  “Maybe next year you can lounge on a beach,” she said to fill the tense quiet. “Personally I prefer the mountains.”

  “Yeah. I guess a beach and swimming kinda go together.” He looked at her again. “At least they can excavate the main entrance so there’ll be no more swimming across the underground river.”

  “It would be hard getting equipment through those small tunnels.”

  “Well, I’d better be going. Thanks for the…adventure.”

  The formality of his tone cemented his intention to leave and never see her again. Take a risk. Tell him you care about him. That you don’t want him to leave.

  He started for the front door.

  Her stomach clenched. Her mouth went dry like the canyon. “Hawke, don’t go yet.”

  He stopped but kept his back to her, his arms stiff at his sides. “I can’t do this, Kit. I’m just learning to deal with Pamela’s accident. How…”

  Silence ate into her fragile control. She took a step toward him.

  “I need to get home. I’ve been gone from my duties long enough.” His flat voice reinforced his intention to exit her life.

  Yes, his career is everything to him. Like hers. The taut set to his shoulders demanded she let him go. He didn’t want to deal with any kind of emotional scene.

  “Thanks again for your help,” she managed to whisper.

  Then he was gone from her life.

  CHAPTER TWELVE

  On top of the mesa, Hawke surveyed the valley where his house sat, having been here since before dawn because he hadn’t been able to sleep.

  Because of Kit.

  Not long ago he and Kit had been in this very spot. Why did it feel as if it had happened an eternity ago?

  Because I can’t stop thinking about her. Gone less than twenty-four hours from her and she was still entrenched in his mind.

  Lord, why are You tormenting me with her?

  She’d made it clear her job was what she needed to focus on, and now that they’re forming an expedition to Desolation Canyon to delve into what she’d discovered, her career will be taking off. She’ll probably even move to a more prestigious university.

  He swept his arm wide to encompass the pueblo that stretched before him. This is my life. Where I belong. I tried New York and I didn’t fit in. I won’t force myself into a situation like that again. I ended up hurting the one I loved because I was unhappy.

  A vision of Kit, pushing herself to her limit in the canyon, materialized in his thoughts. Kit’s words came back to mind:

  “Why are you trying to carry it all on your shoulders? Let the Lord help you.”

  Is that what I should do? Am I using Pamela’s death to retreat from life? The last time he saw Kit at her house he had been.

  The guilt he’d carried for four years weighed on him as though he were dragging a boulder behind him.

  “Lord, I need Your help.”

  A verse from Corinthians flashed across his mind and took him to his knees. “Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creature; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new.”

  “Father, I don’t want to feel this pain anymore. I want to live again.”

  More verses, learned as a child, bombarded him. Slowly the guilt shrank until suddenly the pain in his heart melted away. Kneeling at the edge of the mesa, Hawke felt as if he’d become a new man in Christ.

  Thank You, Lord. Thank You for bringing Kit into my life to show me the way back to You.

  A prairie falcon floated on an air current, circling the mesa, high above the valley. Like the Lord lifts us up.

  Hawke emptied his mind of everything but the Lord’s presence and let the serenity enfold him for the first time in years. The beauty of the land accentuated the power of the Lord.

  All things are possible with Him by my side.

  Judging by the sun’s position, he knew he need to leave for work soon. He wanted to linger on the mesa, but he’d been gone too long. He needed to start now and get his life back on track. The time with Kit was in the past, like his time with Pamela.

  Hawke hastened to Honor and mounted his gelding. Twenty minutes later he dismounted and gave his horse to John to cool down. With long strides he headed toward his house for a shower.

  * * *

  Kit tapped her pen against the desk in her college office. The few lines she’d jotted down blended together. She had an article to write, and yet nothing came to mind—except the last time she’d seen Hawke. When they had said their goodbyes.

  Her gaze fixed upon his name that she’d doodled on the side of the sheet. Why did her heart ache when she thought of never seeing him again? Why hadn’t she said something to him about how she felt?

  Because I’m afraid.

  She wasn’t meant for a serious relationship. She never wanted to be responsible for Hawke’s pain, especially now that he was finally working his way through his wife’s death. It had taken him four years to get to the point where he could talk about what had happened in Desolation Canyon.

  She scribbled through Hawke’s name. No, this was her time to devote to her career. She had it all mapped out. Even if the cave system she’d discovered turned out not to be the City of Gold that had fueled the legend, the find would guarantee her future at this college or wherever she wanted to work. That was, if she could get the paper written.

  A knock at her door drew her attention. “Yes?”

  Wes stuck his head into the office. “I thought that was your car in the parking lot. When did you get back?”

  “Last night.”

  “Did you have a nice…vacation?”

  “It wasn’t a vacation. I was doing some research.”

  “For your article?” Wes came fully into the room and closed the door.

  “Yes.”

  “So you’re ready to write it?”

  “Trying to and not being very successful at the moment.”

  “You’ll do fine.” His expression grew thoughtful.

  For a brief moment she almost spilled everything to her colleague, then she recalled him being in her office the week before, rummaging through her belongings. Rumors of the administration looking at ways to cut operating expenses, which included professors’ positions, had circulated for the past few months. Wes could be feeling the pressure to produce something newsworthy quickly in order to keep his teaching job. Time was running out for him as well as for her.

  Besides, after talking with Zach this morning about forming an expedition to go to the canyon next month, she had to keep the cave system a secret, although she wanted to shout it to the world. Her time would come. The Lord was working with her on patience.

  When Wes didn’t say anything, Kit slid a folder on top of the paper she’d written some notes on, then pushed back her rolling chair, coming to her feet. “I’m starving. If you haven’t eaten breakfast, how about getting some with me?”

  Surprise flickered across the man’s face. “I’d love to take you to eat except that I already have plans.” He grabbed the doorknob and twisted it.

  “Maybe another time, then,” she murmured as Wes fled from the room.

  Something wasn’t right with her colleague. When things settled down, she’d try to find out what. She got the impression he’d come in here for something but had changed his mind. Why? What was going on with Wes?

  With a rumble, her stomach protested her hunger. She grabbed her purse and headed for the student center to get something to eat.

  * * *

  The Guardian watched as Kit hurried from the history building. She’s gone. Good. I don’t like not knowing what’s going on with her, especially when she didn’t reveal much last night when she returned. Maybe I should bug her office, too.

  He needed to keep tabs on everything with Kit now. He’d slipped up when he’d cleaned up his mess at her house. He should have seen the piece of the photo he’d taken. Thankfully she didn’t think too much of it, but what if she did later?

  He wasn’t sure how he was going to get in with so many people around, but he would. Kit was doing things lately that weren’t good for her. But at least she’d said goodbye to Lonechief last night. If she hadn’t, he would have had to find a way to take care of the murderer right away, and an accident was the only thing possible. If he rushed his plans, he might mess up again. He couldn’t afford to do that. He couldn’t bring any more police attention to Kit or the people around her.

  He fisted his hands. Kit, why are you forcing me to do these things?

  * * *

  In his bedroom, Hawke caught sight of the piece of torn photo Kit had found that he’d emptied from his pocket last night. He needed to throw it away—remove all he could of her from his life. Grabbing it, he glanced down at it.

  The blue pen line mocked him. He could just make out an arm in the part of the picture he held. Probably Kit’s. A tingle at his nape worried his peace of mind. Something wasn’t right about this. He should have seen it yesterday.

  He strode to his phone and dialed Kit’s home number. She didn’t answer. For a few seconds, fear nibbled at his composure. No, she could be at work already. Knowing her, she probably was. He called her at the college. She picked up on the second ring.

  “Kit, this is Hawke. I need you to do something for me. Call your security company and see if anyone accessed your house while you were gone.”

  “No one would have, especially since I took the key from Marcus and changed the code.”

  “Just do it and call me right back on my cell.” Hearing her voice softened his resolve to stay away from her.

  “Why?”

  “That piece of a picture you found bothers me, now that I’ve really thought about it. What if someone had been in your house while you were gone?”

  “Why, if they were after information about the City of Gold?”

  “A good question and one we’ll consider if you find out someone has been.”

  “Hawke, I—” Alarm crept into her voice.

  “Call then get back to me. You aren’t alone in this.”

  When he hung up, he collapsed onto his bed, his hand still on the receiver. He needed a shower, but he wasn’t going anywhere until he heard back from her.

  What is going on?

  What am I missing?

  Burying his face in his hands, pressing his palms against his eyes, he tried to wipe the woman from his mind, to get back his focus, to figure out what was bothering him—had been since he had become involved with her.

  Lord, I need Your help.

  He emptied his mind and tuned out the world around him. Slowly pieces began to fit together. Was someone messing with Kit? Too many strange occurrences. Was Ronald Hoffman a victim of road rage? He needed to meet with the police and see what they had discovered since he’d talked to them last. He also needed to find her second guide, James Harrison. Was his disappearance connected with the search for the Lost City of Gold or was something else going on?

  Remembering their conversation in the canyon about their past made his unease multiply. Her fiancé murdered in the church? Why there? Was it really because of the man’s gambling debts? He would check into that case, too.

  The ringing of the phone blasted through the silence. He snatched it up. “Kit?”

  “Yes, and someone was in my house two times.” Her voice rose to a panic level. “Twice, Hawke. Why?”

  He closed his eyes, wishing he could take her into his arms and comfort her. “I don’t know, but we’ll figure it out. Stay at your office. I’ll be there.”

  * * *

  The second Hawke was inside Kit’s office, he grabbed her, tugged her to him and kissed her. His mouth tasted of coffee and mint toothpaste. His familiar outdoorsy scent wrapped around her as his arms did. Kit wanted to drown herself in his embrace. All she’d thought about was this man who had frustrated and haunted her more than anyone should. She wanted his kiss to go on forever, but sanity wormed its way into her mind. They needed to talk.

  Disengaging, she backed up. They needed space between them if they were going to talk about what was going on. “Do you think someone is still going after the City of Gold?”

  The appreciative look in his eyes went neutral as though he were shutting down any emotions that had generated the kiss. “No. I’m beginning to think it might be something else.”

  “What?”

  “Someone might be playing with your life.”

  “You’re kidding!” She sagged back against her desk. “Why?”

  He clasped her upper arms, not saying a word until she had totally centered her attention on him. “It could be any number of reasons. A stalker. Someone who is out for revenge. Someone who—”