“And you want to now, when I can barely put two sentences together.”

  “Oh, I think you’re doing a pretty good job of keeping up with me.”

  This time she came to a halt, stunned. “A compliment from you?”

  “Okay. I know I’ve been pushing you, but you’re walking better today than yesterday.”

  “Only because I’m determined not to show you my pain.”

  His chuckles drifted to her as he mounted those six steps. She wondered if she would ascend without groaning. At the door he waited.

  She put one foot on the first stair and surprisingly it didn’t hurt as much as the day before. “Hey, this isn’t as bad as I thought it would be. Maybe I’m getting into shape after all.” The scent of beef and onion wafted to her. “I thought your mother was going to be gone for dinner tonight.”

  “She left us some food on the stove.”

  Kit took a deep breath. “It smells like spaghetti.”

  “Yeah.” Hawke shut the door after she entered the kitchen and approached the stove. “I had a grandmother who was Italian and I loved her spaghetti.”

  “You’re easy to please.”

  He swung around and pinned her with a probing look. “You think?”

  In that moment she had to say no because scene after scene of the past five days flitted through her mind. He had pushed her to her limit and beyond. Nothing she had done had pleased him. She ran too slowly. She didn’t lift enough weights although her arms quivered each time she hoisted them up.

  Facing him, she fisted her hands on her hips. “Isn’t there a way to work out that’s fun?”

  “You haven’t been having a good time?” His wounded look mocked her.

  “No.”

  “You aren’t at a desert spa. This is a working ranch. What better way to get into shape than to work physically?”

  “Everyone needs a day off every once in a while. Even me.”

  “Is that a complaint I hear from your lips?”

  “An observation.” His gaze locked on her mouth, and her heartbeat increased.

  “Ah. Didn’t you tell me you had to go to Albuquerque the day after tomorrow?”

  She nodded.

  “That can be your day off.” He turned back to the stove.

  “And yours?”

  “I thought I would go with you.”

  “Why?” They had been together so much the past week that the idea sent panic through her. His quiet intensity intrigued her and attracted her. She needed some time away from him to shore up her defenses before they headed into the canyon. He could easily take over her life, and she couldn’t allow that. Twice she had been hurt deeply. She wouldn’t allow it a third time, and the only way to ensure that was to stay away from men like Hawke. He was highly intellectual, physically capable of protecting himself as well as anyone around him and compassionate toward people. She’d seen how he was with others and how much they respected him.

  “Call it a gut feeling.” He shrugged and opened the cabinet door next to him to remove two plates. “When I commit to something, I do it one hundred percent. I’ve already spent time invested in getting you prepared. I just want to make sure everything goes off without a hitch.”

  “A hitch? What in the world are you expecting to happen in Albuquerque?” After washing her hands at the sink, she took the plate of spaghetti he’d dished for her and sat at the table.

  “Nothing, and I want to keep it that way.” He settled into the chair next to her. “The last time you went off on your own you got stuck on a boulder guarded by a rattlesnake and you ran out of gas. Not a good record.”

  “I’ll have you know, technically I didn’t run out of gas. I had a hole in my tank.” After a quick prayer of thanks, she gripped her fork as though she were going to stab something. “One of the places I’m going is church.”

  “Is that a warning?”

  “Frankly, yes. I know you aren’t involved in the church Evelyn goes to, but you were at one time.”

  “How do you know that?” His jaw clenched.

  “From what the people said when I went with your mother on Wednesday night. What happened?”

  He started eating as though he hadn’t heard her question. Minutes passed with quiet dominating the space between them. Although he hadn’t said for her to mind her own business, his actions clearly conveyed that.

  Lord, am I supposed to help Hawke through something? Is that why we’ve been thrown together? If so, how am I supposed to help if I don’t know what’s going on inside him? He can delve into my life, but his is off-limits. Show me the way, Lord.

  Halfway through the delicious meal, Kit decided to end the silence. “What do you have in store for me tomorrow in the way of training?”

  “Something different.” A thread of tension remained in his voice.

  “What?”

  He looked into her eyes, a gleam catching fire in his gaze. “A surprise.”

  “Have I told you I don’t like surprises?”

  “A lot of people don’t.”

  “I’m sure you don’t.”

  “No, but then I’m rarely surprised. I prepare myself for all contingencies. That’s one of the reasons I’m going with you to Albuquerque.”

  “You think I’m in danger?” She shivered at the thought.

  “It’s one possibility I have to consider. You are searching for the Lost City of Gold.”

  “Yes, and gold makes some people go crazy with greed. You don’t have to remind me.”

  “Good.” He finished his water. “It’s settled. I’m coming with you.”

  * * *

  “You want me to ride Justice bareback! Why?” Surrounded by the scent of hay and horse, Kit stood in the entrance to the stall the next day as Hawke slipped the bridle on the mare.

  “It’s a great way to build up your leg muscles. The only way you’ll stay on Justice is by using them.”

  “Now I realize why you wanted to know how well I could ride a horse. But I’ve never ridden bareback.”

  “That’s okay. You’re going to learn.” He led Justice out of the stall into the center of the barn. “We’re going to the top of the mesa and rappel down its face, then climb back up.”

  Her mouth dropped open. “I don’t know how to rappel or climb a rock face.”

  “You’re going to learn. We may have to in the canyon, and I want you to be prepared.”

  “One of those contingencies of yours?”

  “Yes. I haven’t been there in four years. Things could have changed. Rocks slide. Water erodes. I don’t know what to expect. The mesa we’ll practice on isn’t too tall.”

  “Falling from forty feet instead of fifty won’t make much difference to my body when it hits the rocks below.”

  His gaze riveted to hers. “I’ll be there with you every step of the way. I won’t let anything happen to you.”

  Locked in a visual tether with Hawke, she believed him in that moment. She nodded her agreement and approached Justice. Hawke gave her a leg up, then went to another stall to ready his horse. She kept trying to put her feet into imaginary stirrups as she positioned herself as comfortably as possible on the mare’s bare back. Although she had ridden some in the past, this experience was odd. She went through deep breathing to calm her nerves. But when her mount took her first step forward, Kit clutched her mane as well as the reins.

  “Ease up, Kit. You’re gonna pull Justice’s mane out.”

  She shot him a sharp look at the amusement in his voice.

  “I know you have to use your leg muscles to grip the horse, but try to relax, too.”

  “That’s easier said than done.”

  “I want you to enjoy this outing. I thought we could have lunch at the top of the mesa before we rappel down.”

  “How about after? I don’t think I could eat anything before.”

  “You’ve got yourself a deal.” After slinging two saddlebags with equipment over his horse’s haunches, Hawke swung up onto his gelding. “We’ll take it slow until you get the hang of it.”

  “Then what’s going to happen?” The question came out in a squeak as she pictured herself galloping over the land, hugging the mare’s neck, her legs flopping around, with her desperately trying to hang on for dear life.

  He ignored her inquiry and set his gelding into motion. She stared at Hawke’s back for a long moment until he disappeared from the barn.

  “Okay, Justice. It’s you and me. Be nice to me, and I’ll be nice to you.” Taking a last look at how far away the ground was, she squeezed her thighs tighter and tapped the mare’s sides with the heels of her hiking boots.

  When she emerged from the barn, Hawke sat patiently on Honor, waiting for her. At the sight of her, he started forward slowly. Between them and the mesa lay a semiarid landscape, dotted with brush, small trees and cacti.

  When she caught up to him and rode beside him, she released her death grip on Justice’s mane and held only the reins. The feel of the mare beneath her was so different from what she had experienced before when she had ridden, but it wasn’t an unpleasant sensation. On the contrary, as she relaxed more, she realized she could get used to riding this way. She and her mare moved more as one.

  “Justice and Honor are unusual names for horses. I guess with you being a police officer I shouldn’t be surprised, though, at those names.”

  “Actually I named Justice when she was born, while I was home from law school. Mama gave Honor his name.”

  While he fell into silence, she searched for another topic of conversation. If she took her mind off what was to come, she could keep herself calm and relaxed. “How about this weather? It’s gorgeous.”

  He chuckled. “Do you always talk so much?”

  “Yeah, when I get nervous.”

  “Why are you nervous?” Beneath his black cowboy hat, he slanted a look at her. “You’re doing a nice job. You haven’t fallen off once.”

  His compliment suffused her with warmth. She dropped her head slightly so her hat brim could shield the blush she knew colored her cheeks.

  “Look around. Enjoy nature, the quiet.”

  She followed his advice and scanned the terrain around them. Its stark beauty appealed to her. Flowers littered the ground, adding to its allure. Off to her side a jackrabbit scurried away. A bird soared above her in the cloudless, powder-blue sky.

  Halfway to the mesa, Hawke increased his gelding’s gait to a slow canter. Kit gritted her teeth, clenched her leg muscles more firmly about the mare and followed suit. A warm breeze caressed her face as she kept up with Hawke. When she permitted herself a moment to enjoy the feel of the mare’s movement beneath her, she began to flow with the horse.

  At the base of the red rock formation, Hawke slowed to a walk and guided Honor to a path that wound up the west side of the mesa at a thirty-degree slope. Kit leaned forward slightly and let Justice trail several feet behind the gelding.

  At the top she dismounted, the stain of sweat marking the horse where Kit had sat. Muscles in her thighs and bottom protested any movement as she rounded to the front of Justice and stroked the bridge of her nose. “You and I make a good team,” she whispered to the mare.

  Then, with her legs quivering, Kit slowly rotated in a circle, taking in the scenery spread out before her for miles. “This is breathtaking. I could spend all my time up here.”

  “Mesa Rojo is my favorite place on the ranch.”

  “Do you get up here much?”

  “No.”

  She pivoted toward him. “Why not?”

  “Are you ready to rappel?” He took the saddlebags from his horse.

  “You know, we’re going to be spending a lot of time together. You aren’t always going to be able to evade my questions.”

  “Why not?” He removed his cowboy hat, a grin tilting up the corners of his mouth.

  “Because I’m persistent.”

  “So am I.”

  “Well, I guess we have something in common.”

  “Ready.” He walked toward the cliff’s rim, facing his house, off in the distance.

  “What about the horses? Shouldn’t we tie them up or something?”

  “No, and quit stalling. I’m hungry. The quicker we do this, the quicker I can eat.”

  She waved her hand in the air. “Go ahead. Eat. Don’t let me stop you.”

  “Kit Sinclair, are you afraid?” He threw the challenge at her feet.

  “Oh, all right, let’s get this over with.” She heaved a sigh and stomped toward him.

  When she reached the edge, she made the mistake of peering over it to glimpse the ground below. Although normally not afraid of heights, she noted the long way down. The path they would take plunged straight down at an eighty-degree angle. She gulped and stepped away while Hawke unpacked the climbing equipment.

  * * *

  An hour later, with her arms trembling, Kit hoisted herself up and over the mesa’s ledge. Crawling away from the cliff’s rim, she collapsed and stared up at the azure sky. When she peered toward the edge, Hawke appeared, the only evidence of his exertion a few beads of sweat on his forehead, whereas perspiration drenched her shirt and face.

  She turned away, trying to summon the energy to get up. Drained physically, she couldn’t find the will to move.

  Blocking the sun’s rays, Hawke hovered over her and offered her the canteen. Wordlessly she heaved herself up on her elbows and drank deeply of the lukewarm water before she thrust it back into his hand.

  “Thanks, I needed that.” After removing her helmet, she shielded her eyes from the glare of the sun and looked up at him.

  “The one thing you’ll need more than anything else is water. Don’t forget to take drinks often. Ready to eat?”

  “What I’m really ready for are a nice soft bed and about nine or ten hours of sleep, but since there’s nothing around here even remotely like a soft bed, I’ll have to settle for food until we get back to your house.”

  Hawke rummaged in one of the bags and produced several paper sacks. One he tossed to her while he kept the other. “It’s not much, but it’ll hold you until we get home.”

  The word home conjured up an image of them sitting before a roaring fire in the comfort of a living room, sharing an intimate dinner for two with candles lit around them that gave the scene a surreal feel. Blinking, she rid her thoughts of the picture, shocked at where her exhausted mind took her.

  With shaky hands, she ripped open the sack and unwrapped the foil about the peanut butter and honey sandwich. Her gaze flew to his. “I feel like a kid again.”

  “It doesn’t spoil quickly in the heat.” He quirked a grin that melted her insides.

  Hurriedly looking away, she concentrated on eating her sandwich and apple while downing half a canteen of water. “That was hard work.” With a toss of her head, she gestured toward the ledge.

  “Overall you did well.”

  “You don’t have to sound so surprised. I’m a quick study.”

  “Good. You never know when that’ll come in handy.”

  “This trip into the canyon is going to go off without any problems.”

  “Why do you say that?” Hawke crushed his paper goods into a ball and stuffed them into his saddlebag.

  “Because I have you as my guide. You know what you’re doing. You’ve been there many times before.”

  She tried to ignore the darkening of his expression when she mentioned he’d been there before, but it was impossible. His casual bearing transformed. His jaw hardened. A nerve in his cheek twitched. His back stiffened. She’d trodden into a forbidden topic, but she wasn’t going to back down.

  “I’m sorry that your wife died in Desolation Canyon, but keeping your feelings locked up only makes it worse. You don’t have to tell me, but talk to someone about what’s going on with you.” After Gregory’s murder if she hadn’t had the Lord to lean on, she would have fallen apart.

  “You don’t know what you’re talking about. You live in your ivory tower, oblivious to what real life is like.” He shoved himself to his feet.

  “You think you have me all figured out.” Rising faster than she thought possible, she faced him toe-to-toe. “Well, you don’t. I know exactly what you’re going through. A close friend was murdered right before my eyes.” Although she hadn’t really told him anything about Gregory, the second she’d spoken, she wanted to take back every word. She hadn’t intended to share that part of her past with him, but sometimes he made her so angry.

  She thrust her trash into his hand, then pivoted and tromped to her mare. She wouldn’t say another word to him. She’d already once waded through the misery Gregory’s death and betrayal had wreaked in her life. She wouldn’t go there again.

  When she stroked Justice’s neck, she tried to decide how to mount a horse that was almost seventeen hands without someone giving her a leg up. She scanned the area for a rock formation she could use as a stool because there was no way she would ask Hawke Lonechief for assistance. Ten yards away she found what she needed and grabbed the reins.

  Hawke clamped his hand on her shoulder and stopped her movement forward. He turned her toward him, sympathy in his eyes. “I’ll help—”

  She shrugged from his grip and marched herself and Justice over to the small boulder. Without looking at him, she mounted her mare, trying desperately to ignore as much as possible the pain caused from using her sore muscles. She started for the trail that led to the bottom, her goal to get back to the barn and quickly escape into the house.

  The whole way back to his house she felt his gaze boring into her back. She refused to acknowledge him, or she might do something she would regret—like tell him about Gregory.

  At the barn she quickly brushed and rubbed down Justice before putting the mare in her stall. Then while Hawke was still occupied with Honor, she strode toward the house and let herself inside. As she crossed the living room, Evelyn emerged from the hallway.

  “You received a call about ten minutes ago from Sean Sullivan.” Hawke’s mother gave her a piece of paper with her friend’s number on it.

  “Did he say why he wanted to talk to me?” He wouldn’t call unless it was important.

  “No, but he needs you to call him right back.”