I slide off my stool and stand in front of Fergus, planting my hands on his shoulders. The way his eyes widen in surprise makes me want to laugh. “I am really glad Hollie introduced you into our group, Fergus MacKinnon.” I plant a noisy kiss on his cheek. “Now, would you mind telling the girls I’m ready to skate? And will you join us?”

  He laughs softly, covering one of my hands with his. “Of course.”

  Fergus departs, and I contemplate ordering another shot. Probably not the best idea to add too much alcohol to the mix during my first time on skates in almost two decades. I catch a glimpse of movement in the corner of my eye, and suddenly Leland is leaning on the bar beside me.

  “Should I be jealous of that exchange with Fergus?” he asks, the dancing mirth in his eyes belying his earnest expression.

  I mirror Leland’s posture, facing him while leaning on the bar. I formulate a sassy response that will make him laugh, a joke about how amazing Fergus is and how Leland should watch out. But what actually comes out is closer to the truth: “You have nothing to worry about. You’re the only man for me.”

  I suck in a breath as soon as the words pass my lips. Thankfully, a swell in the music covers the sound. I stop breathing in the seconds that pass before Leland’s face morphs into a bright smile. He takes my hand, lifting it to brush his lips over my knuckles. I’m sure it’s my imagination—it has to be my imagination—but I could swear Leland’s expression holds the same tender affection as Fergus’s did a few moments ago when he was looking at Louisa.

  Am I as in denial as Louisa is? Is it possible Leland is developing real feelings for me and I’m letting my own fears prevent me from seeing it?

  As my friends rush over to join us, it becomes clear now isn't the time for answers. But it is time to conquer a different fear. As my stomach rolls with nerves, I wish I’d opted for that second shot of vodka after all.

  *****

  I can’t stop laughing. And crying. And singing along to every single song my brother plays as if my life depends on it.

  The first few minutes on the skates were touch and go. It felt awkward and uncomfortable and, since my core strength is nowhere near what it once was, balance was definitely an issue with my uneven legs. But then Leland took my hand and, even though I still felt like one wrong move would send my legs out from under me, I knew I could do it.

  We kept close to the low outside walls of the rink so we wouldn’t hinder other people’s skating, and Leland let me set the pace. My friends stuck close, calling out encouraging words and taking turns holding my free hand. Even Fergus swooped in at one point to hold my hand, which I’m sure made for an interesting picture. I’m also certain there were points when I looked like a toddler learning to walk, but instead of the embarrassment I expected to feel, I was filled with endless love and gratitude for my friends.

  Before long, I had the confidence to pick up the pace. I didn’t release Leland’s hand, though, and he never made any move to let go of mine. I have no idea how long we’ve been sailing around the rink, but that long-forgotten sensation of flying hit me awhile ago, and I feel like I could keep going all night.

  “My legs are turning to jelly,” Evie says, skating up beside us. “Between all that dancing and now skating, I’m just about done for.”

  “What about you, Stels?” Leland asks, squeezing my hand. “Have you had enough or are you planning to close the place down?”

  I laugh and glance around at the thinning crowd. Part of me wants to keep going until Wesley plays the final song of the night. My leg is aching for real now, though, and I have a feeling I’m going to pay for this tomorrow with sore muscles I’d completely forgotten even existed. I already know it’ll be worth it.

  “Would it be okay if we hang out at the bar for a while?” I suggest. It’s been so long since I’ve had a proper evening out like this with all my friends. “I’m not quite ready to call it a night, and Wesley is killing it with this playlist.”

  Leland and Evie agree, and Evie skates off to collect the others. Leland and I head for the nearest exit. As I step out of the rink, I lose my balance and flail my arms like a windmill. Leland grips my waist to steady me, and I collapse against him, burying my face against his chest and laughing.

  “Good thing I have no pride left after all that,” I say, my voice muffled against Leland’s shirt.

  His chest vibrates with silent laughter, and he holds me closer. It really is a good thing I have no pride left because I’m sweaty from all the exertion of skating. When Leland releases me, his mouth opens as if he’s going to say something, but he shakes his head and closes it. His face softens and he lets out a barely audible sigh as he leans in and presses his lips to mine. It’s so brief I don’t even have a chance to close my eyes, but it’s another kiss that’s just for us, just because.

  It stirs up all kinds of emotions in me, and makes me feel like I’m flying again. I just hope I’m not headed for a crash and burn.

  CHAPTER FOURTEEN

  The reunion is the day after tomorrow and I’m dreading it. Part of me regrets agreeing to go, while the other part is strangely grateful to Nelle. When Leland agreed to be my fake boyfriend, it set off a chain reaction. Who knows when I would have seen him again after our brief run-in at the Village? I also likely wouldn’t have had the opportunity to become such good friends with Felicity.

  In a short amount of time, the Levesque siblings have come to mean a great deal to me. I can be myself around them, and I’ve continued to invite more color and variety into my life after living in the dark for so long. Even though I was aware of the unhealthy patterns in my life, it took Leland showing me what’s possible and how I deserve to be treated to make me truly understand and want to break those old habits for good.

  Felicity paid me yesterday for the work I’ve done so far at FandomTown. I’ve been debating whether to do the responsible thing and wear something from my closet to the reunion or splurge on something new. I’m feeling slightly less self-conscious over the fact I don’t have my life as together as I’d hoped by this point, but it wouldn’t hurt to walk into Connelly’s Pub rocking an outfit that fills me with confidence. I can’t deny I’d like to impress Leland too, and show him my wardrobe consists of more than nerdy pajamas, jeans, and colorful tops.

  I stop on the sidewalk and check my phone when it vibrates inside my jacket pocket. As always these days, a little surge of excitement goes through me at the prospect of a message from Leland. I haven’t heard from him today, which is unusual.

  Instead, it’s a text from Hollie with a bunch of kissy face emojis and an attached photo. She and I just had coffee together at her office, and we took a random selfie together that she promised to send me. Evie and I invited her and Louisa over for dinner last night since time with just the four of us has been rare in the last month. We usually order in or get something premade that can be thrown into the oven and paired with a salad, but Evie and I cooked a simple meal. After Lana’s incredible home-cooked meal a couple weeks ago, I was inspired to get more adventurous in the kitchen.

  I save the photo, send back a string of kiss and heart emojis, and tuck my phone away again. I continue down the sidewalk with no real destination in mind. It’s a gorgeous autumn day, unseasonably warm for mid-November, so I decide to stay out for a while and enjoy it.

  I’m lingering outside a boutique, admiring the cocktail dresses in the window, when someone stops beside me. I’m reminded of the night Leland and I first saw each other again at Bellevue Village, when I was standing outside the bookstore and he approached me.

  I turn to look at the person next to me, my smile faltering when my eyes meet Tannis’s. I tell myself to play it cool and exude confidence. It may only have been a few weeks since we last saw each other, but a lot has changed in that time. I’ve changed in that time.

  I’m about to say hi and ask how she is when she tilts her head toward the boutique window and wrinkles her nose. “Bit fancy for you, don’t you think, Stella?”

  I stare at her, processing the unexpected words. After a few beats, I snap out of my daze and roll my eyes, turning my attention back to the window. “Hello to you too, Tannis.”

  “I’ve been saying hello for the last couple of weeks, but you’ve been ignoring my texts and calls.”

  “Texting me when you’re bored or want a booty call isn’t the same thing as saying hello,” I tell her.

  She inches closer, crowding me, her hand settling possessively on my hip. “There’s my Stella. I’ve missed your feistiness and sass.”

  I move away from her, shooting her the dirtiest look I can muster. “Don’t touch me. I’m not your anything.”

  Her smirk makes me want to claw her eyes out. She holds up both hands and takes a step away. “Wait, let me guess, you’re already seeing someone else.” She laughs, mirthless and borderline cruel, shaking her head. “Gotta fill that void in your life somehow, right?”

  “There’s no void in my life.” I mentally high five myself for how steady my voice is.

  “Sure there is. A failed marriage, a string of failed relationships. You go from job to job and person to person because you can’t figure out what you want or who you are. You barely put any effort into our relationship.”

  My feet itch to walk away. I could and probably even should. I don’t owe Tannis a damn thing, least of all an explanation or defense about who I am. But she’s got me all wrong, and I have a right to set her straight.

  “Okay, first of all, we were never in a relationship and that was a mutual decision. Secondly, I put in the same amount of effort you did. More, in fact, because when we made plans, I stuck to them and didn’t call you with excuses or lies. I was willing to make you a priority, but you wouldn’t do the same. As for the rest…well, frankly, that’s none of your business. Maybe before you judge me, you should look at yourself, how you act in a relationship, and why you would want to be with someone like me when you clearly have such a low opinion of me.”

  I take a moment to enjoy the wide-eyed shock on her face before following my initial instinct to turn and walk away. There’s satisfaction and pride mixed in with the simmering anger Tannis’s words stirred up. She calls my name and tells me to wait, but I ignore her and slip into the boutique whose window display I was admiring. I pray she won’t follow me inside and cause a scene. A quick glance out the window shows her still standing there, looking a bit stunned. Good. Let her stew over what just happened. I rarely stood up for myself in my marriage, but I’ll be damned if I let people walk all over me now.

  If Tannis had said those things to me a few weeks ago, I would have let her words wriggle under my skin and spread like an infection. Even worse, I would have readily agreed with her. While I wouldn’t go so far as to say I have my life together, at least I’m trying. She may have been right about me going from job to job and person to person, but she was wrong about me wanting to fill a void, and she was also wrong about me never sticking to anything.

  My lifelong friendship with Evie, Hollie, and Louisa is proof of that. They’ve always been there for me, and I’ve done my best to be there for them. It’s been hard sometimes, and we’ve had what Evie refers to as ‘growing pains’, but we love each other deeply. People think of true love as a concept related only to romantic love, but what I have with my three best friends is true love. For better or worse, without limits or conditions.

  My run-in with Tannis has made me even more determined to turn my life around. It’s time for me to take charge and be the captain of my own ship. I’ve made excuses for too long, and that stops now. I’m going to accept Felicity’s offer of a job at FandomTown, and I’m going to excel at whatever we decide on for my position. I’m going to ask Evie to let me stay with her for a while longer—paying rent going forward—while saving money and searching for a place of my own.

  Before I can second guess myself or let doubts creep in, I pull my phone out and hit Felicity’s number. A sales associate catches my eye from across the room and I smile and wave before making my way through the store to a section marked ‘For the Curvy Beauties’. Okay, I officially love this place.

  Felicity’s phone rings so many times, I expect it to go to voicemail. She finally answers, sounding breathless as she says, “Hi Stella! I was just thinking about you.”

  “Well, that’s nice. I think. I hope?”

  She laughs. “Don’t worry, always only good thoughts when it comes to you.”

  My heart warms at her words. “That’s certainly nice to hear. And it goes both ways, just so you know. Are you at FandomTown right now?”

  “No, I’m actually at the grocery store picking up a few things for my mom. Why?”

  “I have something to tell you, and I wanted to do it in person.”

  “Are you and my brother finally going to drop this fake dating thing and get together for real since you’re obviously meant for each other?”

  I let out a bewildered laugh. “That’s not what I wanted to tell you, but…I do hope it’ll be the case.” I say the last bit in a rush before I chicken out. When the time is right, I want to talk to Leland about being more than his fake girlfriend. I think we could be great together, and I need to know if he might feel the same. One thing at a time, though. “I wanted to tell you this in person, but I can’t wait. I’d like to officially accept a full-time job at FandomTown.”

  Felicity’s squeal makes me yank my phone away from my ear. I peek over at the sales associate, who’s watching me with an amused look. I mouth ‘sorry’, but she grins and waves it away.

  “That’s fantastic, Stella!” Felicity says. “We’re going to have so much fun working together. Having you on board is going to help this store thrive, I just know it.”

  “I appreciate your confidence in me,” I say, hoping she doesn’t notice the waver of emotion in my voice.

  We talk for a few more minutes about job details before agreeing to meet tomorrow at the store to sign the paperwork. As we talk, I find a beautiful purple jumpsuit. I finger the shiny material, imagining how I would look and feel in an outfit like this. How Leland might look at me in an outfit like this.

  It’s been a long time since I’ve dressed to impress. Clothes always used to be a form of expression for me, but as I told Leland recently, it felt like I let the color drain from my life. I gave up the things that made me unique and brought me pleasure because Lars made me feel like it was a bad thing to stand out. I flip over the price tag; it’s not unreasonable, but I should prioritize my spending right now, considering I’ve been without a job for so long.

  Riding the high of accepting a new job that’s completely perfect for me, I decide there’s no time to waste in talking to Leland about how I feel. “Do you know where your brother is?” I ask Felicity.

  “He didn’t call you?”

  “No…”

  “His phone must have died. We got a lead on these really cool handmade games we want to stock in the store, but the company is based in Barrie. The whole thing is pretty time sensitive, so Leland offered to go, even though it’s a few hours away. He called me from the car to ask a few details and said his phone was dying and he forgot his charger. He said he’d try to call you, but if he couldn’t, he wanted me to tell you he promised to be back before the reunion, and he’d be in touch as soon as possible.”

  Well, damn. That explains why I haven’t heard from him today. “Okay. Thanks for letting me know.”

  There’s a pause and then Felicity says, “He also said he wished he’d thought to ask you to go with him. He just hopped in his car and started driving, since that’s what he’s been used to all these years.”

  My heart does a funny little somersault in my chest. I would have enjoyed accompanying him, and I love that it occurred to him, even if it was too late. I’ve become accustomed to not even being a consideration for anyone other than my closest friends, so to know Leland wished I was with him is both touching and oddly thrilling.

  “I wasn't kidding when I said you two are perfect for each other,” Felicity says. “Leland has seemed so much happier the last few weeks, and it’s more than just the new job and being back in Bellevue. A big part of it has been because of you.”

  “I’m going to talk to him once the reunion is over with,” I say, my voice shaking just from the thought of the impending conversation. “I…I’m ready for this to be more than a ruse.”

  Felicity squeals again, making me laugh until I have tears in my eyes. It’s not the same as telling Leland himself, but my intentions are out there now.

  After we say goodbye and I tuck my phone back into my pocket, the sales associate approaches. She inclines her chin in the direction of the jumpsuit I’ve been eyeing. Or more than eyeing, I guess—without realizing it, I’ve been caressing the sleeve.

  “That would look gorgeous on you,” she says. “Do you want to try it on?”

  I take a deep breath. I’ve been taking baby steps toward a better life and today I took a few leaps. Why not one more? I would look amazing in this. And it would be nice to do more than just imagine Leland’s reaction to seeing me in it. Besides, I’m ready to start living in Technicolor again.

  “I’d love to. Thanks.”

  CHAPTER FIFTEEN

  Ten minutes before Leland is due to pick me up on Thursday night, I’m tempted to take a shot of the Drambuie Fergus brought Evie and me one night when he came over with the guys.

  I hadn’t realized I was pacing around the living room until Evie steps in front of me, plants her hands on my shoulders, and halts my progress. “Deep breath,” she says, massaging my shoulders lightly. I do as directed, holding it at the top when she instructs me to, and then releasing it slowly. “And again.”

  Nervous laughter spills out of me on the exhale of the third deep breath. A grin flashes across Evie’s face as she squeezes my shoulders.