“When just being your babysitter wasn’t enough anymore, I changed everything. One day after your mo—Jessica dropped you off at school, I went into the office and asked for you. One look at me, and it was clear we were related, so they let me take you. I just wanted to spend time with you so I could tell you the truth. I wanted you to know me as your mom.”

  “You kidnapped me?”

  “No. I took you to get ice cream. I wanted to spend time with my daughter,” she corrected. “When your dad went to pick you up, they told him your aunt had already come to get you. He knew it had to be me. I’m so glad it was your dad who picked you up that day. Your mother would have called the police. Instead, your dad called my cell phone. I told him where we were and he came to get you. I explained how I wanted to play a more important role in your life.”

  “I don’t understand. If my mother loved me so much then, why did she abuse me? If you wanted to be a part of my life, why am I just seeing you for the first time in over a decade?”

  “I don’t know why Jessica turned abusive, but I can explain why I disappeared,” she answered. “Your dad told me that day that legally, they could destroy me. I had no rights to you, and I had basically attempted to kidnap you. He made me promise to leave and he wouldn’t press charges.” She shook her head. Her sadness was obvious. “That was the last time I saw you. Your dad sent me pictures and updates behind Jessica’s back. When I married David, he encouraged me to try for joint custody, but I couldn’t ruin your life like that. You were loved. You had two parents that adored you. I let you go. I had no idea what Jessica was doing to you.”

  “Iris, do you know why she hates me?”

  “I don’t, but seeing you now, I can only imagine it was because she hated me.”

  “I was an innocent kid. One who was lied to her entire life. Your selfishness denied me not one, but two mothers.” I couldn’t control my anger. “I think you should go.” I stood and pointed to the door.

  “Lily, please…” she begged.

  “I may get past this someday, but right now I want you to stay away from me. You have a family. You don’t need me.”

  “Don’t say that,” she said.

  “Just go!” I struggled to maintain control over my anger.

  She stood to leave. When she got to the door, Iris turned to face me. “I don’t expect you to forgive me, but if you decide you want to get to know each other, your dad has my number.”

  I stayed silent with my arms crossed and watched her leave.

  As soon as she was out the door, I called my father. He answered after the first ring. “I figured you’d be calling,” he said without waiting for me to begin.

  “So,” I sighed, “you sent Iris to tell me what happened.” It wasn’t a question.

  “I thought you might need to hear from her. Lily, I’m so sorry I stood by and let your mother abuse you. I’ve been a shit father to you, and now you won’t even come home for a visit.”

  “It’s not like you’ve come to visit me, Dad,” I snapped. “You dropped me off at Dartmouth and that was that. You never once asked me to come home.”

  “I didn’t know I had to, Lily,” he said with a sigh.

  “You’re the parent. Not me.”

  “You’re right. I’m so sorry. What do you say you come home in a few weeks for Thanksgiving? I’ll buy your plane ticket. You remember Nurse Wanda? Her son moved into the Quint’s old house. They invited me for dinner and I’m sure they have room for one more. You and Wanda were always fond of each other.”

  “Sounds wonderful, Dad.”

  “I love you, Lily.”

  “Love you too, Dad.”

  Part Two

  Chapter Sixteen

  JJ

  When Lily’s name appeared in my inbox on social media asking me to come to her parents’ house, I couldn’t refuse. Plus, I was curious about her as an adult. From what I could tell, she was single with a small, close-knit group of girlfriends, and worked for one of the major non-fiction publishing companies in New York. She didn’t post often, but when she did, she looked happy.

  Like I suspected, she grew up to be stunning. She was still tiny, at least compared to the friends that surrounded her in the pictures she posted. Her brown hair was shorter and darker; cut to her shoulders but a longer on one side and dyed a dark walnut. Her eyes were the same icy blue that still starred in many of my dreams. She looked like a cartoon princess even more now with her dark hair, doe eyes, and red lips. Lily Gates was gorgeous, and all woman.

  Her message sounded just like the Lily I remembered.

  Hey JJ, It’s Lily Gates your former neighbor from Redville. I found you on Social Media and want to meet up with you about something pretty important. Plus, I think it would be nice to see you again. I’ll be in the old neighborhood for a while and would love if you could swing by during the Thanksgiving holiday. I know your parents moved, but I heard they are only one town over, so hopefully coming to Redville will be no trouble. If you don’t want to come back to town, I can come to you. Please let me know what you prefer. ~ Lily

  After typing and retyping several messages without being able to press send, I finally replied a few days later.

  It’s good to hear from you, Lily. Catching up with you would be nice. I can come to your house. Just tell me what time is good, and I will find a way to make it work. Just an FYI nobody calls me JJ anymore. -Jalen

  Her response was almost immediate. I felt both excited and nervous to read her message. I kept reminding myself she was an old friend and not an old girlfriend.

  How does Wednesday afternoon around 2:30 sound? I will try to call you Jalen from now on. I look forward to reconnecting with you. ~Lily

  True to Lily, it was impossible to tell what she was feeling. There wasn’t a hint about why she wanted to see me again after all these years. Before her message, I had planned on going to my parents Thursday morning since they live only an hour away from Dallas where I now live and work as a physical therapist. I could drive to Redville that afternoon and then surprise my parents by getting to Bowman a day early. I was curious about what Lily wanted, but even more, I was curious about what she was like now. Plus, my mom always complains she doesn’t see me enough so this would make her very happy.

  Seeing the Redville City Limits sign for the first time in ten years, I tighten my grip on the steering wheel. My entire body tenses, and sweat beads up on my forehead. It’s pathetic that something as little as the town sign can make me feel shaky and sick. Several deep breaths do nothing to calm the anxiety coursing through my veins.

  Turning onto our old street, my worries amplify. I keep asking myself, What will her parents say when they see me? The memories of how Coach turned his back on me after he threw me off the team with no warning still feels so raw. Sure, he gave me some bullshit excuse, but we both knew at the time I didn’t deserve it.

  Lily’s mom was always horrible, but for whatever reason, she and my mom had been friends in those days. My mom never saw the vicious side of her until the town went to war against our family. Mrs. Gates distanced herself from my mom as soon as stuff got ugly and even forced her to step down as President of the Junior League.

  I’m sure Lily’s parents were not planning to roll out the red carpet for me. I should have invited Lily to come to my parents’ house, instead. My mom and dad had always been fond of her. From time to time, Lily came up in conversations. Her support of me left a lasting impression on both of them.

  Before I can work myself up I’m parked in Lily’s driveway. As I am working up the courage to get out of the car, Lily steps out onto the porch. My breath catches, and I remind myself to breathe. The pictures on her social media account don’t do her justice. Lily is spectacular… as in stop time, take your breath away, all blood rushing south, beautiful. Her jeans and off the shoulder blue sweater accentuate her subtle curves. I want nothing more in this moment than to touch her soft, bare shoulder.

  While I’m still processing, she steps off the porch and walks up to my driver’s side window. I open my door slowly so she can step back and let me out of the car. Before I close the door behind me, Lily grabs me in a tight bear hug.

  “I missed you,” she says, never loosening her hold on my waist.

  I feel awkward as I pat her back. Before I realize it, I lean down and smell her hair, surprised to find it still smells like coconut. Her tight body brings images to mind that are definitely not G rated. I pull my hips away from her before I embarrass either of us.

  “Thank you for coming,” she says, stepping back. She blushes and looks down while tucking the longer side of her hair behind her ear. I recognize her shy move and my heart warms. “I know you had to be surprised to hear from me so out of the blue, but I thought you needed to visit my dad. I was afraid if I told you he was asking for you, you wouldn’t come.”

  My mouth goes dry and all the excitement at being close to this tiny woman leaves me. The man who played a huge part in my family being forced to vacate our home, the same one who ended my football career, the man that put so much stock in my skin color now wants to see me out of nowhere after I’ve almost put everything from the past behind me. I can’t let him take me back to those dark days. I look at Lily and betrayal courses hot through my veins.

  “It’s not what you think,” she continues. She must be able to read my mind or, at the very least, my shock and hurt are written all over my face. Lily always was an astute observer so, I shouldn’t be surprised she still understands me so well.

  “JJ, he’s… the thing is… I just thought…” she says looking anywhere but at me as she plays with the cuff of her sweater. After a deep breath, her gaze meets mine. “My dad… well… he’s dying. He asked me to invite you here so he could talk to you before he passes away.” She rushes on without letting me interrupt. “After you moved away and never responded to any of my letters, I thought you might not even answer me. I had to give it a shot. Not just for him, but for you as well. You ha-“

  “Don’t!” I spit out at her, not even trying to conceal my anger. “Don’t act like he didn’t have a hand in ruining my future. Please don’t pretend like he didn’t make my family pay for going against him and the rest of the town. Lily, you were always sweet and good, but your father is a racist son of a bitch who helped end my football career. He crushed my dream without a second thought. I was just a kid back then, but he was a grown man who knew better! That man was invited into my home and played golf with my father. That man called me Son…” I don’t even try to hide the venom in my voice, even though Lily doesn’t deserve it.

  She puts a hand on my bicep to calm me. “JJ, believe me, I never would have gotten in touch with you if it wasn’t something I thought everyone needed, especially you. You had to know how I felt about you back then. You were important to me. And even though you shut me out, you still are. I will always care about you JJ.”

  “Jalen. I go by Jalen now,” I say to remind her she no longer knows me, “and, I’m not that boy you put on a pedestal. I did you a favor by leaving you alone.”

  “I’m sorry… Jalen. You’re right. I don’t know you like I did when we were neighbors. You were always something special…”

  “Look, Lily, I’m sorry to snap at you like this. I’m not mad at you, really, I’m not. Yeah, I’m pissed you tricked me, but I’m glad to see how you’ve turned out. I truly am. I’d love to catch up with you, but I’m not going to see that man. I can’t. Please don’t ask me to do that. Maybe the next time you’re in Dallas you can look me up, and we can catch up with a drink or something.” I pull a business card out of my wallet and hand it to her.

  She takes it with timid hands and looks into my eyes. There is no hiding the disappointment flooding her face. “I know we haven’t spoken in nearly a decade, but I can’t believe you would think I would ever try to deceive you. I just wanted to grant my father’s dying wish, and maybe give you the peace of mind you deserve,” she whispers. Her breath hitches, and her eyes fill with tears.

  It catches me off guard for her to show any signs of what she feels because she hid her emotions so well when we were younger. I wrap my arms around her small shoulders. My chest tightens at the thought of hurting her.

  The sound of the storm door banging shut followed by footsteps forces us apart. A striking black woman in scrubs stands on the porch with her arms crossed. Her hair has silver mixed throughout it and is woven into tiny braids that are pulled up on top of her head. She’s very attractive from what I can tell at this distance.

  “You gonna stand out here all day, or you gonna invite that boy in?” She seems to be some sort of home health nurse from her appearance, but she treats Lily like they have a more informal and warm relationship.

  Lily pulls away from me, and I feel the loss. Her face flushes. “We’re coming, Miss Wanda.” Her eyes plead with me for that to be true. I sigh and signal for her to lead the way. After feeling her warm, taut body in my arms, I can’t walk away now. I crave her touch now that I’ve felt it again after all these years. My old attraction to Lily is back full force.

  I square my shoulders with resolve. Following Lily up the stairs, I gear up to look my former coach, the man who had put the final nail in my coffin, in the eyes for the first time since he turned his back on me over a decade ago. I say a quick prayer for strength because lord knows I need it.

  As soon as I enter the house, I am transported back to a different time. One where Lily and I work on math homework in this formal living room. Even though she was just a kid back then, she was far more mature than any of the girls my age. I’m surprised to find her home still feels just as welcoming and warm as it did back then, even though something about it isn’t the same. The noticeable difference is the absence of family photographs. There seem to be no touches of Jessica Gates in this room where before they were everywhere. I wonder what the story is.

  Lily slips her tiny hand in mine with a reassuring squeeze as we follow the nurse into the kitchen. She has iced tea and lemon squares on the table waiting for us. My mouth waters at the sight of my favorite snack. A grin tugs at the corner of my mouth even though I try to suppress it.

  Lily lets go of my hand as we reach the table. Without thinking, I reach over and pull her chair out for her. She blushes, looking down and then tucks the longer side of her hair behind her ear as she takes her seat. That gesture was her tell when we were younger, that she was flattered by something I did or said. It pleases me to see this hasn’t changed. I push her chair in for her before taking a seat next to her. She mumbles a sweet “thanks.” I always suspected she had a crush on me back then. Maybe some of those feelings are still there for her too. I like the idea that she still harbors a crush on me too.

  Chapter Seventeen

  Lily

  It feels strange to be back home in my dads’ kitchen eating lemon squares and drinking tea so sweet it makes my teeth ache with JJ Washington. I wonder what he’s thinking. It’s no secret dad broke his heart when he turned his back on JJ. I know that’s why he never contacted me, or returned my letters once his family moved to Bowman. Even when my heart was crushed from the loss of him, I’ve always understood why he shut me out.

  Wanda, my dad’s nurse and friend, draws me back into the present. “So, you’re that Washington boy Coach Gates is always going on and on about? Said he’s never seen a talent quite like yours in all his years of coaching.”

  I look at JJ out of the corner of my eye to gauge his reaction. His face is an unreadable stone mask.

  “Did he tell you I was talented for a ni-?” JJ hisses.

  “Stop!” I suck in a shocked breath, and my hand clutches my chest out of reflex. Never once have I heard JJ say that word. Growing up, it was the one word he refused to say. He told me once, by saying that word, he would become part of the problem. JJ had always stressed that there was no place for the n-word in anyone’s vocabulary. Hearing him almost say it now is not just shocking, it makes my heart clench.

  Wanda reaches over and smacks him upside the head, surprising both JJ and me. “Watch your mouth, boy! You will not say that word in this house, especially in front of ladies, and you won’t say bad things about Coach. He’s a good man, and he deserves your respect.”

  JJ snorts. Before he can respond, I say, “JJ-“

  “It’s Jalen,” he corrects without looking at me. His eyes remain on his hands that rest on the table.

  “Sorry… Jalen,” I begin again after calming myself with a measured breath. “A lot happened after you left. Just give me a chance to tell you some of it, and then you can decide if you want to see my father or not. I promise I won’t try to force you. I will always respect whatever you choose.”

  “I’m sorry,” he says, rising to his feet. His chair scrapes across the floor, causing me to tense. “I just need a minute.” Not giving me a chance to stop him, he turns and walks out to the porch.

  Wanda turns to me and pats my arm. “Sweetie, let him catch his breath. Trust me, girlie, that boy isn’t going anywhere unless you tell him to.”

  “It’s not like that, Wanda. We were friends and neighbors. I may have had a crush on him, but trust me, he never saw me as anything more than a little sister. He probably still sees me as that same little girl.” I try to force myself to stop wishing those words weren’t true.

  “He sees you, alright, but it’s not as a little girl and certainly not as a sister,” she says, standing up and ending the discussion on JJ’s feelings toward me. “I better go look after your father. You know he’ll be finished with his nap soon and will need help getting up and around. Why don’t you check on your friend? See if you can get him to stay for dinner?” Before I can say anything, she heads to my dad’s room.

  I stop to gather my courage before I try to talk to him. I will have to choose my words carefully if I want to convince JJ to stay. The thought of him leaving and never seeing him again makes me feel sick. I have missed him so much.