I turned and looked into his eyes. “Why do you feel like everyone judges you for being black? Your dad is the Sherriff, so obviously they have accepted him. You can’t tell me the girls who follow you around school care that your skin is darker than their own. Also, what about the way your teammates look up to you?”

  “Lily, I don’t expect you to understand,” he said. “My dad may be the sheriff, but he’s still the black boy who swooped in and stole the town sweetheart from a respectable white boy. The only reason he gets voted into office is because there isn’t a white man who wants to do it. The girls who follow me around want to hitch their wagon to me so they can get out of town, or even worse, they want to stick it to their daddies.”

  I placed my hand on his arm. “I know all about being an outsider. I’m one in my own family,” I admitted.

  He placed his hand over mine and threaded our fingers. “That’s the thing about being dark-skinned in a white world, I have tons of friends at school as long as I’m white washed. If I ever show my black side, I’m too black for them. Funny thing, though, when I’m with my dad’s family, I can’t ever seem to be black enough. The only time I feel like I’m enough is when I’m with you.”

  I sat up in bed with a jolt. The last thing I recalled was sitting in JJ’s backyard looking at the stars with him. I must have been exhausted last night because I couldn’t even remember sneaking back into my room after talking with JJ. I thought of the way JJ held my hand. It felt real, but maybe I dreamt it.

  I glanced at the clock on my nightstand. It read 7:08 AM. I needed to get up and get dressed. My dad expected me to be ready when he wanted to head to the field house. I glanced across the yard to see that JJ was not in his room. I wondered if his dad said anything about last night’s game to him.

  Later, when I walked into the kitchen to pour some cereal, my dad sat at the table and stared into a mug of coffee. My mother talked to him in a hushed voice, but stopped when I walked into the room.

  “Good morning,” I said to test the waters and gauge if it was going to be a good day at the Gates’ house or not.

  My mother took that as a sign that it was open season on me. “What on earth are you wearing?” My dad looked over at me and gave me a pitying glance before he went to rinse out his coffee cup.

  I looked down at my orange State hoodie and jeans. I couldn’t figure out what was wrong with my outfit. It was cold outside, so I had dressed for warmth. She stared at me and waited for a response. “Um, er… it’s college game day, so I thought I’d represent the Pokes?” I hated how my voice went up like I was asking for her permission.

  “Why on earth would you choose that sweatshirt? Orange doesn’t look good on anyone, and it especially doesn’t look good on you. With your complexion, you look sick. Honestly, Lily, why don’t you ever try to look halfway presentable? At least tell me you’re going to brush that rat’s nest on top of your head.” She looked at me like I was the most disgusting thing on earth.

  I glanced to my dad for back up, but he just threw his hands up and crossed them back and forth in front of his chest in a way that told me I was on my own. I stifled my sigh and put the cereal on the counter. “I’ll go change.” I retreated to my room to find something else.

  I figured my jeans were fine, so I decided my new blue sweater would work. My mom busted into my room while I had the shirt over my head. She grabbed the sweater from my hands and screamed in my face. “You will not wear the nice sweater I just bought you to go roll around with those dogs! What the hell is wrong with you?” She slapped me hard across the face and then stormed out of the room, taking the sweater with her.

  My dad walked past my room as I stood there in my A cup bra and held back my tears. His face turned bright red, and he murmured, “I’ll just be waiting in the car, kiddo.” He turned around and raced down the hallway. Mortified, I picked up the offensive orange hoodie and slid it back over my head and then fixed my messy bun.

  When I turned back to grab my backpack, I saw JJ. He stood at his window with a sad look on his face. I couldn’t believe he had seen all of that. It was bad enough he saw my mother hit me, but I wanted to die thinking about him seeing me in my bra. If he didn’t think of me as a kid before, he did now. I tried to put on a brave face and waved at him. He smiled back and offered me a curl of his fingers. I saw the pity all over his face. I turned and rushed to meet my dad at the car. I tried not to think about what JJ must have thought. I hoped he would forget the scene my mother caused.

  Chapter Eight

  JJ

  I continued to kneel for the National Anthem week after week. Then I took the field where I set and shattered every passing record for our school, the district, and even the entire state of Texas. We made it all the way to the state championship before my parents and I were called in to meet with the school board. The night before the meeting, my dad called me into his study. His nightly whiskey sat untouched on his desk.

  “Son, you know I don’t agree with you taking a knee, but I understand why you’re doing it. I served in Iraq so people like you could protest the injustices of the world.” He took a long and thoughtful pause before he continued. “I need you to think long and hard about how far you’re willing to let this go. You’ve weathered quite the storm already, but I have a feeling at tomorrow’s meeting things are going to get a lot worse.”

  I looked at him for a long time. The stress of the past month was written all over his face. He had gotten a lot of grief from me kneeling. I overheard him tell my mom his elected position was in danger, but he never once tried to stop me from what I was doing. I was grateful my father supported me.

  “Dad, if I stop now, they will think calling us the n- word, blindsiding me in a parking lot for touching their daughters, or any of the other racist bullshit we have to deal with is okay. I can’t let them think it’s okay.”

  My dad sighed, “I figured you’d say that. Okay, then we’ll go into tomorrow planning on taking this to the mat.”

  I wrapped my arms around my dad. I don’t think I’d hugged my dad since before I started going through puberty. He was shocked at first, but it wasn’t long before he wrapped me up in a big bear hug. He pulled back and looked me right in the eyes. “I love you, son. You and your mother are the two most important things in my life.” For the first time since this all started, I broke down and cried. My dad held me the entire time.

  Instead of going to school the morning of our meeting, I rode with my parents to the school district’s central office. My mom had on a conservative dress and my dad wore his uniform. Since I had to go to school after, I sported a nice pair of jeans and a plaid button-down shirt.

  We were silent for the entire ride there. None of us spoke as we waited in the lobby to be called into the boardroom. I couldn’t believe how out-of-hand things had gotten. I wasn’t sorry, but I hadn’t been prepared for everything. I never expected one decision would have such huge consequences.

  A small woman in a tan dress greeted us. “Mr. and Mrs. Washington,” she nodded to them before she turned to me, “JJ, they’re ready for you now.” She reminded me of Lily with her size and hair color, but what really made me think of my friend was the way she squeezed my arm reassuringly as I walked past her. That tiny show of support told me what I was doing wasn’t in vain. No matter what happened in that boardroom, what I was doing was bigger than me and maybe, just maybe, I had more supporters than just Lily and my parents. That thought gave me the confidence to walk into that room and face the music.

  I was surprised when we walked into the small room at just how many people were there. We sat down opposite of the school board members and the superintendent. Principal Jones and Coach were seated to our left and faced the board members. I felt like I was on trial with the setup of the room and my nerves surged. I knew deep down in my gut this was not good.

  The man in the center who was introduced as the superintendent, spoke first. “We all know why we’re here, so let’s get down to it.” Then he addressed me, and his entire demeanor changed. “Boy, don’t you think this silliness has gone on long enough?”

  Anger flooded me, but I knew I had to proceed with caution. “With all due respect sir, I’m not sure why me exercising my first amendment right is seen as silliness. I guess you can’t understand what it’s like to have an entire town call you names, ostracize you, and even have one person assault you in a parking lot on school grounds because of your skin color.”

  The principal then spoke. “JJ, this isn’t a joke. You’re making a mockery of the flag and offending the veterans.”

  “No offense, Mr. Jones, but I’m not joking. And last night when I spoke to my dad, a veteran who served in Iraq, he told me he supported my peaceful protest of the racism in this town.”

  “This needs to stop now!” Mr. Jones yelled. “The state game is going to be televised, and we can’t have the entire state of Texas thinking we’re not patriotic here in Redville. The mayor is livid that this has gone on this long.” His face was so red I worried he might have a stroke.

  My dad spoke for the first time. “Sir, I suggest you calm down when you’re talking to my son or we’re going to have ourselves a problem.”

  “Don’t threaten me! You can’t hide behind your badge in here!” my principal shouted back.

  My father remained calm as he addressed the board, “I think we’re done here. If my son kneels, the Constitution protects him. You’re not suggesting you’re about to violate his Constitutional Rights, now are you?”

  I looked at Coach, but he just sat there without so much as a word. He stared straight ahead and refused to look me in the eye. The superintendent spoke again, “No one is saying that. We’re simply asking JJ to think about the message he’s sending. He’s a town hero. The elementary kids look up to him. What’s saying they won’t all start kneeling?”

  “I think that would say that it’s time to put an end to the racism in this town. We all know other than that football field, the train tracks draw a line of segregation right down the center of this town,” my father said.

  The superintendent looked back at me. “Look son, it’s not like you’re really black. You-”

  Next to me, my mother sucked in a harsh breath. She spoke up for the first time. “We’re done here.” She put her arm around me to lead me out of the room.

  The Superintendent spoke again. “Mark my words, one way or another every member of the Redville Rangers will stand at tomorrow’s game.”

  My dad nodded to the board and then Principal Jones and Coach. “Gentlemen. We will see ourselves out.” He put his hand to the back of my neck and gave me a loving squeeze.

  I was eager for Math class so I could see Lily. I knew she wanted to know what happened at the meeting with the school board. Last night, we stayed up late talking about it. She sat in the lounge chair between my legs and leaned against my chest. This was the closest we had ever been, but I needed her in those moments. I confided in her I was nervous about my parents. They got a lot of blowback from my choice to kneel. My mom had even begged me to put an end to it at first. I heard my parents argue about it several nights in a row. I asked Lily what I should do, and she told me that if I felt the same way now as I did when I first took that knee, I had my answer.

  When I walked into class, I sought out Lily, and took the seat to her right. She turned her entire body to face me as I spoke in a hushed voice.

  “Lily has your dad said anything about all of this?”

  “He’s talked to my mother about it, but they always stop when I walk into the room. I heard my mother yelling at him last night about his family duties, and that he needed to put her over anything else. I assume that was about you, but I honestly don’t know.”

  I hung my head in defeat. “Coach was there today, and he didn’t say one single word. I kept expecting him to tell them to leave me alone, and just let me play ball. He wouldn’t even look at me.” I looked up at Lily. “I’m afraid this is gonna get ugly for me.”

  “How bad can it really get? We only have one more game this season. Win the game Saturday, and they won’t care anymore. By the time football season rolls around next year, this will have all blown over, right?” she asked. I wasn’t convinced.

  No sooner were the words out of her mouth when the loudspeaker in the classroom crackled to life. “JJ Washington, please report to the office; JJ Washington to the office.”

  I felt my face pull tight with tension. She reached over and gave my arm a reassuring squeeze. “It will be okay. I know my dad thinks of you like a son. He won’t let anything bad happen.” I hoped she was right.

  I walked into Mr. Jones’s office and saw a pale Coach seated in front of the principal’s desk. Dread flooded my body, and I wanted to turn and run. I knew deep down when I left this office things would never be the same for me.

  “Son, have a seat,” Mr. Jones said.

  I looked at Coach, but his eyes stayed on Mr. Jones. I waited for the principal to continue.

  “We’ve found ourselves at an impasse. You’ve been asked to stop your foolishness, and yet you’ve continued for weeks now. If you refuse to show respect to the townsfolk and this school, you leave us with no other option.”

  “What do you mean?” I asked.

  It was Coach who spoke next. His eyes remained forward. “We have a code of conduct for the football team that you signed in August. In it you pledged to uphold the standards and reputation of the Redville Rangers. It states that you will not go against the team and you will always behave in line with the team’s best interest. Unfortunately, you are no longer doing that.”

  Rage pulsed through me. “Just spit it out, Coach.”

  “Brian will take over as QB1 effective immediately. You no longer have a place on the team. Since you have violated the code of conduct, you can’t try out for the team next fall. With you off of the team, it is no longer my duty to provide you with a tutor for your math class,” Coach said.

  I stood up. “You’re kicking me off the team and threating to have me failed! You can’t do that!”

  “No need to get belligerent, Son” Mr. Jones stood and tried to calm me.

  “I’m not your son,” I spat.

  “Well, you could have put an end to this, but you got your feelings hurt and made a big production,” Mr. Jones said. “You have no one to blame for this but yourself. You can’t go around calling good people racists, then disrespect our flag and not expect there to be consequences.”

  I turned to Coach. “So that’s it, huh?”

  He looked at me sadly. “I’m sorry, son. I truly am.”

  “Whatever.” I jerked the door open and stepped out into the hall. I almost knocked Lily over when I raced out of there. I righted her, but kept walking.

  “JJ!” She ran after me. “Wait!”

  “Not now.”

  She continued to follow me out of the school and into the parking lot. I stopped without warning. She bounced off my back and landed on her ass. I turned and towered over her. “I can’t believe you let me walk into that with no warning. I thought you were my friend.”

  “I am,” she cried.

  “No. You’re just some nerd who helped me pass my math class, but you’re not even that anymore.”

  She jerked back as if my words physically hurt. “Wwww… what? Y.. y.. you.. d.. don’t… mmmm… mean that,” she sobbed.

  “Yeah, Lily, I do.” I turned and left her sobbing on the ground.

  It wasn’t until I got in my car and watched her cry that I felt horrible. Lily hadn’t deserved that. I opened my door to go after her and apologize, but Coach walked out of the school just then. He wrapped Lily in a hug and his eyes met mine. There was no way I could apologize with him there, so I threw my car in reverse and got the hell out of there.

  Chapter Nine

  Lily

  Watching JJ’s taillights shrink into the distance, I pushed away from my dad. “What happened?” I swiped at the tears around my eyes. “Why is JJ leaving school? What did you do?” I asked rapid fire while I glared at him, knowing he had to be behind JJ’s sudden departure from school.

  My dad sighed. “I kicked him off the football team today.”

  “What!?” I shrieked. “Why?”

  “Lily, there are some things you’re just too young to understand. You’ll understand better when you’re older.”

  “Why can’t you just explain it to me now?”

  “If I didn’t kick him off the team, they would fire me. I have you and your mother to think about.”

  “I thought doing the right thing would trump anything else. You’ve always told me to do the right thing, even if no one is looking. I guess that doesn’t apply to grown-ups!”

  My dad hung his head in shame and swallowed hard. “Sometimes the right thing is wrong for the situation. I know you can’t see it, but I did what I had to do.”

  “Oh yeah? Then why do you seem to regret it?” I countered as I turned and walked back into the school. My dad didn’t follow.

  Later that night, JJ and his parents sat with my dad in the living room and argued about the meeting from earlier that day. I sat hidden on the stairs, listening to every word. My mother was surprisingly absent.

  “Chris, surely you can see that what you’re doing is unfounded and just plain wrong,” Mr. Washington scolded.

  “JJ signed a code of conduct and he violated it. There’s nothing I can do about it. You’re welcome to appeal it with Mr. Jones and the school board, but I’m staying out of it,” my dad told him.

  “Why are y’all making such a big deal about JJ kneeling?” his mom asked.

  “Why does JJ feel like he needs to make such a big deal out of things and keep kneeling?” my dad countered.

  “What exactly do you mean, Chris?” JJ’s dad shot back. I could feel his anger as it bubbled under the surface of his calm facade.