I hated to have to leave my home, but I needed to get my family away from all the bullshit. I didn’t trust a soul besides Rose’s family. From the moment I hooked up with them niggas Peanut and Boo, they’ve been trill ass niggas. Out of all the niggas I put on and helped them feed their families, they are the only ones who have remained loyal. My whole team has switched up on a nigga and is now on my father’s team. The same bitch ass niggas who was screaming loyalty switched up on a nigga when shit got hectic. Outside of my drug organization, I have built many businesses that have since been burned to the ground. Everything I have has been reduced to nothing at the hands of my cold-hearted father. I have more money than I know what to do with, but it’s the principle of it all. I put my blood, sweat and tears into building my brand and for a motherfucker to take all that shit from me has me mad as fuck. I don’t give a fuck about my condition. That nigga has to pay for what he has done to my family and me. It’s a good thing the whole city thinks I’ve checked out. I’m going to wreak havoc on that nigga worse than what Hurricane Katrina did to New Orleans.

  *****

  “Good Morning Daddy. I made you breakfast.” I looked up and Heaven had come in holding a tray with Peanut Butter and Jelly sandwiches and milk on it.

  “Thank you baby girl.”

  “You’re welcome Daddy.” She placed the tray on my lap and she just stood there staring at me. She looked like she was about to cry. I sat the tray off to the side and pulled her up on the bed.

  “What’s wrong with Daddy’s baby?”

  “Why did the mean people hurt you Daddy?” She laid her had on my chest and started to twist my dreads in her fingers.

  “I don’t know baby, but I’m going to be okay though. I need you to be a big girl and help Mommy out with you brothers okay.”

  “Okay. Eat your breakfast Daddy. I slaved over a stove to make you that. I’ll be back later. Choc is being delivered today and I want to comb her hair.” Heaven kissed me on the cheek and ran out of the room. I had paid to have Choc delivered because she had a fit about leaving her alone. I swear she thinks that pony is a damn child combing her hair and putting barrettes in her mane. I feel so sorry for that damn pony. Heaven be acting like a real bug. That’s my baby though and I wouldn’t trade her for the world.

  After eating the sandwiches Heaven had made me, I tried to dose off but felt somebody in the room with me. I opened my eyes and it was my baby boy. I love all my kids, but Lil Remy is so special to me. I guess its because he had been through so much and he was my namesake. I smiled as I thought about how I asked Rose’ to give me a son and she did that shit with no problem. I swear I love her and I hate giving her a hard time, but this wheelchair and shit bag has me feeling so damn inadequate as a husband.

  “What’s up lil nigga?”

  “Da Da up.” I leaned over and picked him up. It was amazing how after taking all those shots, I had strength to lift my seeds up. I was still in a lot of pain, but I wasn’t dead. I could tell that my kids were missing me. I never left out of the room, but they made it their business to come in and fuck with me. Romeo be in his own little world playing his Xbox.

  “What’s up son?” I kissed him on the forehead and he grabbed the remote to turn the TV. How he knew how to work On Demand was beyond me. He turned right to his favorite show Thomas. As soon as he got comfortable, here come Madear fucking with him.

  “Come on boy. Let’s go eat some breakfast. Every morning he run in here so he won’t have to eat. I’m not having that this morning.”

  “He straight. Bring it in here. I’ll feed him.”

  “Did you eat the sandwiches heaven made for you? She insisted on making them. I got some sausages, eggs, and biscuits if you want something else.”

  “Yeah, I can go for something, else but I want you to bring it.”

  “I know that you don’t like her seeing you like this, but you’re hurting her feelings by pushing her away. She hasn’t been out of that room all morning not even to check on the kids and that’s not like her. I understand this is hard, but y’all need each other to get through this. I’m going to take him and you need to go to her room and check on her.”

  I thought about everything Madear was saying and I knew that it was the truth. I just hated for her to see me like this. I was so embarrassed for her to come into the room and shit was all over the place. No man wants his wife to have to clean up his shit. The doctor had told me that I would never walk again, but I’ve been having feeling in my legs and not to mention my dick. The last thing I wanted to do was give Rose’ false hope that’s why I rushed her out of the room. Her touch had made a nigga harder than a motherfucker. I hated to admit it, but this shit had me feeling like I had lost all of my stamina.

  I lifted myself over into the wheelchair and braced myself as wheeled myself down to Rose`s room. I pushed the door open and she was lying in bed with the covers over her head and it was dark as hell in the room. I knew she was in her feelings that’s the only time she shut the world out like this. I wheeled my chair close to the head of the bed. I removed the covers and she was sleeping soundly. I felt like shit looking at the dried up tearstains on her face. I couldn’t help but to stroke her beautiful face. Her eyes popped open and she jumped up.

  “What’s wrong?”

  “Nothing. I just wanted to come and check on you.”

  “I’m fine. You can leave now. Close the door behind you.” She got up out of the bed and tried to walk away, but I grabbed her by the waist so that she could stand directly in front of my chair.

  “I’m sorry for how I’ve been acting, it’s just hard for me to have you taking care of a nigga. This is not what I thought our marriage would be like.” I laid my head on her stomach and she began to rub her hands through my dreads. She smelled so fucking good. I had been spending all my time being bitter about my situation instead of being blessed about still being here with my wife and my kids.

  “I understand that this is hard for you, Remy. I love you so much baby and the shit is hard for me as well. This shit is all my fault. I’m responsible for all the things that have happened between us. I should have left you alone when your mother tried to pay me to. I’ve ruined everything. All I want to do is be here for you and make sure that you’re okay. I don’t care about you wearing a shit bag or being in a damn wheelchair. My love for you is so strong and it outweighs this shit. You have to let me in, Remy.” I looked up and Rose` was crying and that made me feel even worse. My baby was walking around blaming herself for some shit she had no damn control over.

  “This shit is not your fault. You have no control over my parents’ actions. Fuck them. Don’t ever blame yourself for this shit again. I told you the night the shit happened. You and my kids are the only thing that matters in this world.” I leaned up and wiped the tears from her eyes.

  “I love you so much, Remy.”

  “I love you too baby.” My dick began to harden and I tried to cover it up. That shit had been happening a lot lately. The doctor said that just because I could no longer walk didn’t mean I couldn’t be efficient in the bedroom. It was just that I didn’t want to do it for my own personal reasons. Rose` noticed it and removed my hands from my lap. She dropped down to her knees and slowly removed my dick from my pajama pants. I was so scared I felt like a nigga getting some head for the first time.

  “Stop moving Bae and just relax. Let me make you feel good.” Rose` placed my dick in her mouth and she began to slowly bob up and down on it. I felt like I was ready to burst at any minute. I had to grab her head as she began to go harder on my dick. The sucking and slurping sounds that she was making had a nigga getting ready to let loose.

  “Come on y’all. Oops I’m sorry!”

  “Madear!” Rose` screamed out and covered her face at the same time. I scrambled trying to put my dick up. Madear seeing my dick hanging out like that was awkward as fuck.

  “Don’t call me like that. How was I supposed to know you was in here giving a damn car wash. Hurry the fuck up so we can eat breakfast. Everybody out here waiting on y’all. I’ll be sure to give you a plastic fork to eat off of. I love Remy and all, but the last thing I want to do is know what he taste like that.” Madear just bussed out and started laughing. I couldn’t help but laugh myself.

  “That is so not funny, Madear.” Rose` jumped up and ran into the bathroom and slammed the door.

  “Hell if it ain’t!” she said over her shoulder as she exited the room. At the same time, I heard Rose’s phone vibrating on the bed. I rolled over to the bed and grabbed it. It was a text message from an unknown number.

  Unknown: When does your flight land? I want to see my daughter. Don’t tell me you’re chickening out on me.

  Reading the text, I immediately became heated. I had every intention on knocking Rose` block off, but then an idea came to my mind. I knew that I had to play it cool. I placed her phone on the bed and rolled out of the room. I swear on everything that I love I will murk her and that nigga Ace in a wheelchair and all. I knew all about the bitch ass nigga supposedly being my brother and now having my spot on the streets. I had been dealing with the shit in my own way. The fact that my wife is actually communicating with this bitch ass nigga has me wanting to lay hands on her ass. Not to mention, she was taking my fucking daughter to be around a nigga that didn’t mean either of them any good. One would think she would steer clear of a motherfucker who caused her so much hurt and pain. I have so much on my plate already. The last thing I need is to be worried about Rose` and Heaven.

  I hadn’t had a blunt or any Hennessy since I woke up from that damn coma and right about now it was just what I needed to keep from beating the fuck out of Rose’. I sat inside my office thinking real hard about how to handle this shit without spazzing out. After about an hour of thinking, I came up with one of the most clever ass ideas. The only question was if Rose` would be able to pull the shit off. I zoomed in on the cameras just to see what her, Neicee, and Honey were cackling about. I knew I shouldn’t have been eavesdropping, but it was imperative I got to see where her head was at. In the midst of me watching them, I hit up Boo and Peanut to come and listen in as well. I needed their input on the shit that was brewing in my head. This had the potential to either make or break us.

  Chapter 3-Rose’

  I was so damn embarrassed Madear caught me sucking Remy’s dick. True this is our home and he’s my husband. I just feel ashamed she saw me doing that. Even though I know she was laughing about it. Her old ass is probably telling the whole family how she caught me giving a car wash as she calls it. Her old ass makes me sick, but I love her though. I was surprised to see that Remy had left out of the room without saying anything. It felt good as hell to be back talking and in tune with one another. My phone had been going off all morning and I had been ignoring it. Ace had sent me legal papers in the mail in regards to Heaven and him being back in her life. The motherfucker had withdrawn the paperwork to give up his parental rights. I had no choice but to fly back to Chicago and go to Family Court. I promised him that I would book a flight and bring Heaven to see him. I had no idea how I was going to tell Remy about this shit. He had enough on his plate with this damn Ace situation.

  Word from back home said this nigga was really in the motherfucking streets acting like he was my husband. Picture that. There is only one Remy Ramirez. Ace bitch ass could never walk in my husband’s shoes. He would always and forever be a fuck nigga with his little dick ass. I hated that I had to play shit according to his rules. Heaven’s future depended on it. We all know that Remy loves her more than anything in the world and he will go crazy if he loses her. I hate that I haven’t had the heart to come clean about this shit. It’s actually out of my hands. I have no choice but to go or I will be held in contempt of court. Especially since I’m still on parole. I have no business traveling. The only reason I have been able to is because Remy had been paying my parole officer off. Ace didn’t make it any better threatening to tell the judge were I was at. I wasn’t going back to jail. I still had another year on parole and I’ll be damned if I go back fucking with this nigga. I’m not about to leave my kids out here in this world without their mother. For the time being, I would have to just play according to Ace’s rules, but I had something in store for that nigga. He will regret the day he ever fucked me over. In the meantime, I need to figure out a way to tell Remy that I have to go back to Chicago. I already know that he is going to go the fuck off. This might be the only time I’m happy he’s in that damn wheelchair. The last thing I need is for him to slap my ass silly.

  *****

  “You need to tell him, Rose`. You can’t just go to Chicago to court. He will go the fuck off,” Honey said as she tightened up my sew in.

  “I know. I’m just scared to tell him. The last thing he needs is some more bad news.”

  “I feel you on that, Sis. However, he has to know,” Neicee said as she wobbled over to where we were sitting at.

  “I want to tell him I just so scared about his reaction.” The room became silent because we all knew how Remy’s temper was.

  “Madear told us she caught you sucking Remy dick, too,” Honey said and we all fell out laughing.”

  “I swear her old ass talks too much. She couldn’t wait to put me out there. That’s okay I’m telling Peanut and Boo she was fucking the Deacon at the church. Talking about they was having Bible Study.”

  “Whatttttt! I knew they asses was up to no good one day when I popped up over their in the middle of the day. He looked all sweaty and her shirt was on backwards,” Neicee said as she flamed up a cigarette. I looked at her ass like she was crazy.

  “What the fuck are you doing? Bitch you’re pregnant in case you forgot. Peanut gon’ beat your ass if he catches you smoking that cigarette so I suggest you put it out.”

  “I can’t help it. Since I’ve been pregnant, I’ve been craving these things.”

  “Well put that shit out while I’m in here. I don’t want that second hand smoke getting in my lungs and fucking up my child. It’s bad enough Boo is his daddy. We all know that motherfucker is suffering from retardation, schizophrenia, and the nigga is Bi-Polar. Not to mention Madear is his damn grandma. My son doesn’t stand a chance at being sane.” We all fell out laughing, but that was short lived when the door swung open and Peanut was standing there. He had caught the bitch in mid puff. She tried to hurry up and put it out, but it was too late; he had already seen her.

  “Really, Neicee? You sitting here smoking a fucking cigarette like your ass ain’t carrying my seed.

  “I’m sorry I ‘ve just been craving it.”

  “Shut the fuck up. I’m telling your dumb ass right now. If my baby come out with fucked up lungs, I’m killing your bitch ass.” I was praying Neicee didn’t get to popping off at the mouth because Peanut’s right hand was twitching and he was itching to slap slob from her ass. He walked over to the bed and snatched the pack of cigarettes off the bed that was next to her and walked out of the room.

  “I told you bitch,” Honey said shaking her head.

  “Shut the fuck up. You didn’t tell me shit. I’m not gon’ lie though. I thought he was about to beat my ass.”

  “I was hoping he did because you had no business smoking in the first place.”

  “Really bitch? I’m gon’ remember you saying that when Remy go oops upside your motherfucking head because that shit is coming.” Neicee got up and left out of the room. Honey and me couldn’t do shit but laugh. Shit on the inside, I was scared as fuck because I knew Remy was going to kill me when he found out about the shit I had agreed to do with the nigga Ace. As we sat and continued to converse, Remy’s voice came through the intercom system telling us to come to his office. My eyes got big as saucers hearing him say that.

  “Don’t get scared now bitch. Just ball up when he start beating your ass. So you won’t get a black eye. That’s the best advice I can tell you. I can’t help your ass fight in my condition. Tuck and roll bitch.” I just stuck my middle finger up at her and headed towards Remy’s office.

  When we walked inside the office, Remy, Peanut, and Boo were engrossed in a deep conversation. All of the talking they were doing ceased when we sat down at the table. Remy planted his index finger on his temple and I could see him biting the inside of his jaw. I knew he was pissed about something and in deep thought about how to handle it. It was crazy how we were able to read each other. I was certain he was reading my facial expressions and my body language. He is good at that shit.

  “Hey Bae. What’s going on?”

  “Don’t Bae me and don’t bullshit me, Mrs. Ramirez. When were you going to tell me that you’ve been in contact with the bitch ass nigga Ace! Think long and hard before you answer because I saw the texts in your phone and over heard y’all talking about the shit.” I stared at Remy, Boo, and Peanut before I spoke. They were all staring at me with pissed off looks. I looked over at Honey and Neicee and they were looking down avoiding eye contact. Them bitches be talking all that shit, but be scared as hell of Boo and Peanut.

  “It wasn’t that I wasn’t going to tell you. It was more of me not wanting to tell you because of the condition that you are in. Not to mention, I didn’t know how you would deal with this bullshit that Ace was pulling. You’ve been through enough and the last thing I want is for you to have to worry about Heaven or me.”

  “You’re my wife and that’s my motherfucking daughter. He might have put her in you, but I’m raising her and she will always and forever be my little girl. That nigga ain’t got a chance in hell taking her from me. I want to kill all them motherfuckers for playing with me and my family.” I jumped as Remy threw a glass up against the wall behind me. I couldn’t help but cry because this was exactly what I wanted to avoid.