Her too. She needed to feel that, but she wasn’t comfortable saying that to him. They were on a slippery slope with this conversation. Feelings and emotions she’d bottled up for years were bubbling at the brim. Instead, she changed the subject. “Davey loved his skis. I didn’t know he skied.”

  Max sighed softy and she thought he was going to push, but he didn’t. “He doesn’t. Mike and Charlie do, and he talked about it last year a few times. When he brought it up again two weeks ago in passing, I thought I’d take a risk. I’ll get him some lessons, too.”

  “What made you get a snowboard for Lara over the skis?”

  “She’s more hyper and adventurous than Davey. I thought this was more up her alley. Besides, you should see her on a skateboard in the driveway.”

  “That’s Lara’s? I thought it was Davey’s.” She saw it hanging in the garage, but it never occurred to her Lara used it.

  “Yep. Lara is a little bit of a tomboy right now.”

  “I’ve noticed that. And that she wasn’t overly excited with all the clothes Mia sent her either.” Pretty much an entire wardrobe of dresses and skirts, plus girly shirts.

  “Another disagreement I’ve had with Mia. She knows darn well Lara doesn’t like dresses or skirts. Not that she ever sends anything appropriate, even if Lara did want them.”

  “Yes, some of those things were a little inappropriate.” Fitted dresses with open backs and cutouts in the stomach. What the heck could Mia have been thinking?

  “There is no way my nine-year-old daughter is wearing a white halter top. Not unless it’s under a black turtleneck.”

  She laughed and just loved that protective father side of Max. “I was thinking the same thing.”

  “I’m thrilled Davey seemed so happy today. It was nice to see. I’ve been considering trying to find someone else for him to talk to about things again, his feelings and thoughts, I guess.”

  “Have you tried to talk to him?” she asked.

  “Of course. I don’t think he feels he can open up to me about it right now. Maybe a neutral party will help. It didn’t before, but maybe it just wasn’t a good fit. I knew in the beginning things would be rough, but it’s been about a year and a half and I feel he still has a ways to go.”

  “How about if I talk to him first? Is that okay?”

  “I appreciate the offer, but I’m not sure he will open up to you either.”

  “Let me try. I know a little about what it feels like to want someone’s love, Max. I really think it’s not you, but Mia. He doesn’t know how to talk to you about her either.”

  “You’re probably right. I’ll still look into finding someone. Just in case.”

  “Thanks. Don’t worry though, I won’t tell him too much about my background.” The kids didn’t need to know those details about her.

  “I don’t care if you do. It wouldn’t hurt for him to know that not every kid his age has a big Christmas or a nanny. Though his friends don’t have nannies, they still have pretty easy lives.”

  “And a set of parents too, I’m guessing,” she said.

  “Yeah. I didn’t realize that until you just said it. Thanks again.”

  “For what?” she asked, snuggling in a bit more and wishing the night wasn’t going to end, that he wasn’t going to get up and go to his room soon.

  “For being a sounding board for the kids. For seeing things that I don’t always see. And for helping them get through this.”

  “I’d like to think I was helping you get through it, too,” she said, her hand moving down his leg in a caress.

  “Stop that, or it will be more difficult to leave than it already is.” He stood up and then pulled her up for a hug. “I came down to give you one more gift.”

  “Max, you gave me more than enough.” More than she’d ever gotten from anyone before.

  “Nonsense. Those things weren’t personal. This is personal.”

  He pulled a box out of his back pocket. She didn’t even know it was there, not that she’d had a chance to look at the backside of him.

  “What is it?” she asked, tentatively reaching for it.

  “I know you don’t wear jewelry, but when I saw this it made me think of you.”

  She never wore jewelry because she’d never owned any. No one had ever given her any and the thought of spending hard-earned money on something frivolous never crossed her mind. She didn’t even have pierced ears.

  Taking the top off the small black box, she saw a necklace with a tiny set of silver-colored angel wings that were crossed, resembling a heart. It was something so whimsical and dainty, nothing at all that screamed her name. She couldn’t imagine why he thought of her when he saw it.

  “It’s beautiful.” She took it out of the box and held it up to examine it.

  “It’s white gold and sturdier than you think. You could sleep and shower in it and it should be fine. Only if you wanted to,” he rushed to say.

  Her eyes started to mist up. “Can you put it on me?”

  She turned her back to him and he reached around, placed it around her neck, then locked the clasp in place.

  “Everyone deserves a guardian angel, Quinn. It seems to me you’ve been one to all your siblings and now my kids. It’s time you had your own.”

  Oh wow. Yeah, she was going to cry. She couldn’t remember the last time she cried. Truly cried, and never over something that she was happy about. Happy tears were about as real to her as Santa.

  “I don’t know what to say.” She turned around and looked at his face, saw his tender expression, and knew there was more going on in his head.

  “You don’t need to say anything. It’s my pleasure to give it to you. I want you to know that I’m always thinking of you and watching out, even when we aren’t together.”

  She blinked her eyes a few times, but a tear slipped out. She was touched more than she could say. She’d never had anyone watch out for her before. Never had anyone that even wanted to.

  Reaching up on her tiptoes, she wound her arms around his neck and kissed him long and deep. “Now I really wish you weren’t going to go back to your room.”

  He laughed and stepped back. “I’m not ready to rush out just yet, but I need to change the subject for the minute or I’ll never leave.”

  She glanced down and saw what he was talking about. “I’m feeling the same way. What do you want to talk about?” she said, giggling.

  He looked around her room, his eyes landing on a book by the couch. “Is that Lara’s book you’re reading?”

  “No. Mallory gave it to me as an early Christmas gift. She dropped it off yesterday when you were downstairs with the kids.” She was smiling at him, waiting to see if he noticed anything. It was as good a time as any to broach this.

  He walked over and picked it up. “Don’t let Lara see this. It looks like it’s a new one.” He flipped the back over and then the front. “It doesn’t look like the other books by M.A. Cannon.”

  “Because it’s not. This one is an adult mystery.”

  “Oh. You’ll have to let me read it when you’re done. I’ve read the other books with Lara, and they’re well written and witty. I’ve always enjoyed them.”

  “Open up the front cover. It’s a first edition, signed too.”

  “How did Mallory get something like this?” He flipped open the cover and read, “Quinn, the secret’s out. Give me your honest opinion. Mallory.”

  “I don’t understand,” Max said.

  “Really, Max. You’re a smart guy. What’s not to figure out?” She was laughing at his confusion now.

  “No way. She’s not M.A. Cannon.”

  “She is, but she’d still like to keep it a secret. I’m not sure letting Lara know right now would keep that secret.”

  “I won’t say anything. Holy cow. Who would have thought that?”

  “I guess today was full surprises, huh?”

  “Yeah. But I’d say the best surprise of all was for me months ago.”

  Her heart started to race. “What was that?”

  “You.”

  Choices

  The next day, Quinn walked in the front door, stomped snow off her boots, removed them, and carried them to the back of the house. No one entered the front unless they were visiting, but all she did was walk Lara down the driveway and across the street to Maddie’s house. It was a waste to drive there, even as cold and blustery as it was outside.

  “What are your plans today, Davey?” she asked when she saw him still sitting at the kitchen island where she’d left him minutes ago.

  He shrugged and looked bored to her. “I don’t have any. No one is around today.”

  “Sometimes that happens. How about you help me today? We can bake something if you want.” Davey seemed to have found an interest in baking and she tried to encourage it.

  “Sure. Can we make a chocolate cake?”

  “That’s easy enough. We’re going to make it from scratch. Nothing from a box in this house.”

  She watched him smile, and figured now might be the best time to broach a conversation with him regarding his mother.

  First she listed off the ingredients she needed and watched as he walked around the kitchen gathering them. When everything they needed was on the counter, she pulled over the mixer and showed him how to attach the paddle they’d be using.

  “So, you know what? I think you should make the cake with me watching. What do you say? It can be one hundred percent your cake.”

  “Really?” he asked, looking excited over the possibly.

  “Yep.”

  She walked over to the shelves that held her cookbooks and pulled out one that had all the handwritten recipes that she’d tweaked over the years. She didn’t need to read it to make the cake, but Davey would.

  After placing the binder down and opening it to the correct page, she said, “Read the whole thing first so you know what the next step will be before you start.”

  “Why do I have to do that?”

  “Because sometimes it’s better to know the process from start to finish before you even get there. You can line things up better that way and prepare. It will help you be a more efficient baker.”

  “Okay.” He read the recipe and she watched as he put all the ingredients he’d need in order on the counter. “I need another bowl to put the flour and baking powder in.”

  “See. If you didn’t read it through first, you wouldn’t have known that.”

  “I need to turn the oven on first, right? So it’s warm by time I use it?”

  “That’s right.”

  She sat down in a chair at the island and watched him work. He wasn’t as fast as her, which was as expected, but he did well. Before she knew it, he had the double pans in the oven and already set the timer. He’d been paying attention to her for months, she realized.

  “Now what?” he asked.

  “What do I normally do when I’m done baking?”

  He wrinkled his nose. “You wash the bowls and clean up.”

  She laughed at him. “I do. But I’ll help you.” She wanted to make sure everything was cleaned up to her standards.

  After everything was washed, dried, and put away, Davey said, “We still have ten minutes left.”

  “Why don’t we talk while we wait then? Pull up a seat.”

  He did as she said and sat at the island, propped his chin in his hands, and grinned at her. At that moment, he looked like a younger version of Max, reminding her of when Max did that exact move weeks ago.

  “What do you want to talk about?” he asked.

  Here goes nothing. “Can I ask you a personal question?”

  “Sure,” he said, his grin never wavering. “You want to know how I got to be so good at video games, don’t you?”

  She laughed. Yeah, he had his father’s comical personality, too…when he wanted you to see it. “I know how, you play all the time. And no, I don’t like video games all that much.”

  “That’s because you never play,” he argued.

  “Who has time? All I do is feed you guys and clean up your messes,” she said cheerfully.

  “We put our own dishes and laundry away now. I even pick the towels up in my bathroom.”

  “Oh wow, color me amazed. Maybe you should get an allowance for that.”

  “Ha-ha,” he said, smirking at her.

  “Anyway, what I wanted to ask you is if you blamed your father for anything?”

  His smiled faded and she expected as much. There was really no way to ease into this conversation, she knew that.

  “What do you mean?”

  “I mean, are you mad at your father over the divorce?” There, that was as blunt as she could be.

  “No. It wasn’t his fault.”

  Interesting. Max said the kids really didn’t know much about what happened, but she suspected they knew enough. They had to be told something.

  “No, from what I hear it wasn’t completely his fault.”

  “Not at all,” Davey said. “My mother didn’t want to be with my father anymore. She had a boyfriend.”

  Oh boy. As far as Quinn knew, the kids weren’t privy to that. “How do you know?”

  “I hear things.”

  “I don’t know that you were meant to hear that,” Quinn said.

  “Doesn’t matter. She wasn’t around anyway. At least my father found out why.”

  This conversation was getting a little deeper than Quinn had hoped for. She tried to steer away from that point. “Are you mad at your father for moving here?”

  “I didn’t want to come here. I didn’t want to leave my friends,” Davey said.

  “Have you told him that?”

  “I did in the beginning and he said he understood, but it was something we had to do. It’s okay now. I like it better here. Doug, Charlie, and Mike are better than any of the friends I had before.”

  “How’s that?” She could guess, but she was curious what he’d say.

  “I don’t know. We have more in common. They like to go out and do things. Run in the woods and swim, hike, play video games. None of my friends before did those things.”

  “What did they do?”

  “They all had music lessons and parties to go to. We went to a private school before. There aren’t any around here.”

  Now it made more sense. “Your friends are more real now, aren’t they?”

  “Yeah. I guess that’s it. But also when rumors started at my last school about my parents, I realized my friends were nothing but urchins.”

  That was a new one to Quinn. “I’m not sure I know what that means.”

  “An urchin. You know, a ball or group of pricks.”

  Quinn snorted. She wanted to laugh but didn’t dare, though she had to admit it was a pretty funny and original comment.

  Time to move the topic back though. “I know you and your father have some issues to work out. I just was hoping I could help.”

  “I’m not mad at him. He didn’t deserve what my mother did. None of us did.”

  Davey looked older than his eleven years right then. “No. None of you did. Sometimes people don’t think about other people when they’re making choices in life.” She knew that firsthand.

  “My mother was selfish. She didn’t want me anymore. She never wanted Lara.”

  Quinn grimaced, she’d never heard that. “I don’t know if that is the case, Davey. Try not to be too harsh.”

  “I believe it. She never wanted to play with Lara like she did me. Then when she went back to school, she didn’t even want to be around me. She was too busy, that’s what she always said. What do you know about not being wanted anyway?”

  His eyes started to water but she saw him fighting it back, his arms crossing, the defensive stance coming forward.

  She kept her tone the same…peaceful. The same way she tried to defuse situations in foster care as a kid.

  “I know a lot about it. I have two younger brothers and a younger sister. All of us were raised in foster care. My sister Lily still is. This is her last year.”

  His eyes grew wide. “What about your parents?”

  “We were taken away from our mother, who didn’t want us, and I don’t know who my father is. None of my siblings know their fathers. Before you ask, we all have different fathers, too.”

  A tear slipped out of his eye, but he caught it quick. “That had to suck.”

  “It did. But you get through.”

  “You haven’t had an easy life, have you?”

  She didn’t want to turn this around on her. “No. This isn’t about me. It’s about you. I understand more than you think I might. When a parent or any adult, even another kid, doesn’t want you, it’s not your fault. It’s on them, not you.”

  “How do you know?” His eyes were filling now. She saw some hope behind the wall that was slowly crumbling.

  “Because you’re a great kid, and so is Lara. Your father is a wonderful person and anyone who wouldn’t want you guys is just plain nuts.”

  She’d thought it before, but having gotten close to Max, she now realized that Mia was a fool.

  “You really didn’t have anyone?” he asked, his voice cracking a bit, and if she wasn’t careful she might end up shedding a tear too.

  “It’s all good, Davey. I survived, so did my brothers. Lily will be fine. She’s got a good set of foster parents right now.”

  “How come you couldn’t be her parent like you are to us? Why can’t she come here and live with us, too?”

  “It’s complicated. Besides, she’s going to college next year. I didn’t want to uproot her.”

  She better go to college next year. Lily was the only one with half a chance to get out.

  “You turned out good though,” he said.

  She wasn’t sure where that statement came from. “I like to think so.”

  “And you didn’t even have a nanny. I mean, we at least had Jennifer, so it was okay.”

  No, she didn’t have a nanny. She barely had a foster parent that cared where she was at night. The monthly check was their only incentive in the houses she’d lived in.