“I know,” she said. “I’ve got you to thank for where I am.”

  “No,” Carrie said. “You did it yourself. You needed guidance and I gave it to you the best I could. I wish I could have done more for you back then.”

  “You did more than anyone else. My demons are my own.” Carrie was the one who encouraged her to write her feelings out the most. Others had suggested it and then dropped it, but Carrie sat with her and showed her what she should do.

  Pushed her to put down what was really going on, and not only the surface stuff, but also what she felt.

  “I’d like to think they aren’t roaring as much as they did a year ago,” Carrie said.

  “No,” she said. “I can honestly say that I’ve got a lot more control over things than I thought I would. I’m getting there.”

  “That’s wonderful to hear. I’m so proud of you. I use your story with my other kids to motivate them. With some it works, others don’t believe me.”

  “One thing I learned was that it’s hard to believe anything good when so much bad is happening in your life.”

  “But that doesn’t seem to be the case now,” Carrie said.

  “No,” she said. “It doesn’t.”

  Jennie hung up the phone a few minutes later, got back to work and couldn’t wait for the day to end.

  Alex was taking her out to dinner too when he got out of work. It’s like this day wasn’t going to end and there was part of her that didn’t want it to.

  35

  A Good Spot

  The next captain coming in to relieve him showed up thirty minutes early so Alex could cut out and go home to shower and change.

  Yes, he’d had a party for Jennie on Sunday, but today was her real birthday and he wanted to take her out.

  Things couldn’t be going any better in their relationship.

  Most knew they were dating. They’d said they loved each other and they were in a good spot.

  He was taking her to the casino tonight. Nothing fancy, but it was a quick night out for food and maybe a roll of the dice or a pull of the slot machines. He’d felt lucky enough in life and maybe she could win a little if she decided to play.

  “You’re here early,” Jennie said when he opened her door thirty minutes later. He liked that they didn’t live that far from each other.

  “Rich came in to relieve me early as a favor. I’ll stay late for him another time if he needs it.”

  “That’s nice,” she said. “I can’t wait to get dinner at the casino. Hopefully Griffin behaves. I’m sure he’ll find out we are there.”

  “Is it true that he has facial recognition for people on his phone to know if they enter the building?” Nothing would surprise him when it came to the security of the casino.

  “Yes,” she said. “Penelope told me once that when she was trying to wear Griffin down he’d had her on his phone so he could be forewarned she was around. She said it was so he could run in the other direction.”

  “I don’t believe your brother ever needs to run in the other direction,” he said. The guy seemed to be the type to run toward a challenge, not away. Just like his sister.

  “I never thought so either,” she said. “I guess when it comes down to it, some people are better than others at putting up fronts.”

  Not exactly what he wanted to hear and had to remind himself that he didn’t know everything about Jennie. Proof was that she kept journals. He never figured her to be a person to do that.

  In his mind, people who kept journals tended to be more whimsical. Maybe they were daydreamers.

  Two things Jennie wasn’t.

  “I don’t want you to feel like you’ve got to do that with me,” he said. “No fronts. You’re good at telling it like it is so I want you to continue that way.”

  “Oh, I will,” she said.

  They left the house and got in his truck to drive the fifteen minutes to the casino. “How was your day?”

  “It was great,” she said. “Helena brought me in a cake and we had it in the kitchen. I got more birthday wishes today than I ever have in my life.”

  “That’s nice. Helena is great that way.”

  “Bode, Drew, Amanda and Sam got me a gift certificate for a spa day. The only time I’ve ever gone to the spa is at the casino when I came to see Griffin that first time. He sent me down there a few times and I felt like a fish out of water.”

  “But you enjoyed it, didn’t you?”

  “I did. How could you not? I haven’t been since though,” she admitted.

  “Why?”

  She shrugged. “I don’t know. I think it’s wasteful on one hand and on the other it makes me think it’s not who I am.”

  “I don’t understand that statement,” he said. “It’s not like you have weekly spa visits. Though I know plenty of people who do without the worth of some of my family members behind them. Sometimes people go to the spa as part of personal care. Mental and physical well being.”

  She turned to look at him as if he’d grown two heads. “I never thought of it that way.”

  “You should. If you like it and it makes you feel good, then you should do it. Everyone needs some kind of outlet. Don’t you have any? Other than exercise and even then I didn’t think it was an outlet.”

  He wanted to see if she’d admit that she wrote things down and then he asked himself why it mattered that he’d know.

  “I told you how my last foster parents encouraged me to go to college, right? That they wanted me to do something with my life. They saw something in me.”

  “You did,” he said.

  “Carrie and Brody are their names. I talked to them more before I moved. More like texts and a few phone calls a year. Birthdays and holidays. It was always Carrie reaching out to me and not the other way around.”

  “Did she call you today?” he asked.

  “She did. That is what made me realize I never call her.”

  “Why is that?” he asked.

  “I had to really think of it and I concluded that I am afraid to make attachments to anyone.”

  “No surprise there,” he said, his hand reaching over and patting her leg. “I could have told you that. I’m sure Penelope would say the same about Griffin.”

  He wasn’t going to say he understood. He’d been burned before and told himself he was only out for fun. That is until he met Jennie and realized how wrong he’d been to think that way.

  “You’re probably right,” she said. “Back to Carrie though. She was genuinely happy for me today. With all the attention I got. I told her I had a boyfriend and she was like a kid in a candy store finding out her favorite was there only for her.”

  He laughed. “She’s happy for you,” he said.

  He was glad to hear she was sharing personal pieces of her life with someone else. He’d hoped that Jennie would be in contact with Franny more from the retirement party and though he did find out Jennie helped pass the resume on, she hadn’t said much more about it.

  He told himself to stay out of it. He couldn’t be her father or big brother and try to find her friends. She’d lived her life the way she had for years and if she was happy that way, who was he to say she should change?

  It’s just he didn’t believe she was all that happy at times.

  “She is. This brings me back to the outlet question. You asked what I did. I told you I had a temper. I fought or I rebelled. Then I kept to myself. Things festered and that wasn’t good either.”

  “No,” he said. “It’s never good.”

  “She was one of many who told me I should write down my feelings. I thought it was a joke at first. I didn’t want to do it, but I did try. It didn’t make me feel any better and I thought it was stupid. I wasn’t some silly girl writing her dreams and goals in a journal.”

  “I don’t believe anyone would tell you the things you’d have to write,” he said, just glad she was confessing this and now he wouldn’t feel so bad if he slipped and said he saw one.

  “Not many took the time to explain it. Carrie did. We did some writing exercises. Next thing I know, I’m picking up that notebook and writing down all the things I wish I could have said to Griffin back then. Some of it wasn’t nice; others things were. There was just so much anger for so long.”

  “Did it make you feel better though?”

  “Sometimes,” she said. “Other times it made me sad, but I did feel like I got things off my chest back then. After college I stopped writing in it as much.”

  “Because you had more control over your life,” he said.

  “I did. But I’d return to it now and again when I was worked up or anxious. I started writing in it again when I moved here.”

  “Why?”

  “There are so many things that I wanted to say to Griffin and couldn’t. I did feel better writing them down.”

  “You should let him read some of the things.”

  “No,” she said. “They are private.”

  “I’m sure they are, but if they would open things up more between you two, don’t you think it would help? I’m sure Griffin has things he’d like to say and is afraid to.”

  “Do you think?”

  “You two are a lot alike so I’m going to say yes.”

  “You’re probably right,” she said. “I should tell you I’ve written about you in there too.”

  “Good things I’m sure,” he said, laughing.

  “Actually, yes. I knew my feelings for you were building, but I’ve never said them to anyone else before. I think it gave me the courage to do it finally.”

  “I’m glad it did,” he said.

  “Me too,” she said.

  They got out of his truck and went in for dinner. The place was busy, but they didn’t have to wait too long to be seated and ordered.

  Everything was fast and efficient here and they were out of the restaurant in forty minutes and on the casino floor.

  “Coming to try your luck?” Griffin asked, moving closer to them.

  “I will never get used to you dressed like this,” Jennie said.

  Alex looked Griffin over and realized that was the only way he was used to seeing the guy. The one that was at Jennie’s house on Sunday was relaxed and approachable. This one in a suit that probably cost more than four digits easily.

  “Take it up with my boss,” Griffin said.

  “Maybe I will,” she said. “Where is Eli?”

  “He’s wandering around here somewhere.” Griffin turned and saw Eli. “Never too far from me. He’s coming over now.”

  “As your wife says, he’s your shadow,” she said.

  “Am not,” Eli said. “You guys coming to put some money into the business?”

  “It’s Jennie’s birthday. She’s feeling lucky. Show her where to go to win,” he said.

  “Alex,” she said. “Don’t. Griffin is liable to rig the machine so I win.”

  Eli laughed. “Your brother may be able to do a lot of things, but not that.”

  Alex turned and looked around the casino at the people on the floor. The slots were in another spot and he was checking out blackjack. He’d go where Jennie wanted to, as it was her night.

  His eyes moved some more and locked on a blonde head and froze.

  No freaking way.

  He hadn’t seen Lizzie in years. He knew she was on the island at times, but he hadn’t crossed paths with her. The last thing he wanted to do was have it happen tonight.

  Since she was by the blackjack table, he was going to steer Jennie in another direction.

  It didn’t seem to matter though when Lizzie made eye contact with him and then looked through him as if he never existed.

  36

  Causing Trouble

  Two days later, there was a knock at Jennie’s door after dinner. Alex was working tonight but taking tomorrow night off. She’d just finished putting her groceries away and had sat down with her laptop to do a little shopping.

  She finally felt like she was at a point in her life she wouldn’t feel guilty over things like that. Not even the exercise bike that Griffin had picked up at the docks and would bring over this weekend to set up.

  He’d said he’d do it this week while she was at work and she’d told him no. There was no reason for him to go out of his way when he worked during the week. He had Sunday and Monday off and if he wanted to do it then, it worked for her.

  She opened the door and saw a woman standing there. Blonde hair, probably a few years older than her, she was guessing. Lots of makeup on this hot day and dressed like she was looking to score some guy.

  “Can I help you?”

  “Is Alex here?”

  Hmmm. She lifted her eyebrow. “Alex who?”

  The woman cocked her hip. “Alex Bond. He lives here, right?”

  “I’m sorry. No, he doesn’t.”

  “But you’re his girlfriend?”

  “Can I ask what this is about?” she asked the woman. She didn’t like where this was going and wasn’t giving out any information until she knew more.

  “I saw you two out the other night at the casino. I used to date Alex years ago. You seem like a nice person and all. I thought you’d like to know what he’s really like.”

  Jennie snorted. “What’s your name? You know, this small island and all, my guess is you’re just trying to cause trouble.”

  “I am,” the woman said. At least she was being honest about it. “Because he’s a Bond and on this island they think they are gods. Even if they don’t have the money behind their name, they feel they can get away with anything they want. If no one stands up to them, they run it all.”

  This woman obviously had no clue that her brother was married to a Bond family member or that Griffin’s best friend was Eli Bond. Whoever she was, she wasn’t that smart.

  But there was no reason she couldn’t hear what the person had to say. She’d known Alex had gotten around so it was more surprising it’d taken this long for an ex to come into the picture.

  It could be a good learning experience to manage her temper because she wasn’t sure how she was feeling about this.

  “You didn’t say your name,” Jennie said with her arms crossed.

  “Lizzie Gibson.”

  “Well, Lizzie, Alex has dated a lot of women over the years. I’m fully aware of that. If that is all you are going to tell me other than the fact his family founded this island, then I think you’re wasting your breath.”

  Lizzie smirked at her. “You have no clue. I dated Alex when he didn’t live on the island. My family has a home here. I visit all the time. I’ve been here much longer than you. I know more than you and what goes on here. Alex is only out for fun. Nothing more. He’ll never settle down because it’s not in him to do. If you don’t know much about his family, then know it’s in his blood to be a womanizer.”

  Yeah, this was getting out of hand and she was stupid to entertain it as long as she had. Shame on her. She shook her head. “Whatever. We are done here.”

  “Don’t say you weren’t warned.”

  “As if I’m going to take the word of a stranger knocking on my door. My guess is you followed me to know where I live, but you don’t know much more about it. Not even my name?”

  Lizzie frowned. “What does that matter?”

  Which meant Jennie was right. Not that she expected anyone to put her with Griffin, but if this woman said she knew as much as she’d did, then she’d know Jennie worked for Bode and Drew on top of it.

  Rather than say anything else, Jennie shut the door in Lizzie’s face and went back to her laptop to shop.

  The problem was, she couldn’t let this go.

  She wasn’t so much annoyed that Alex had exes. She knew that. It had never been a secret. But the fact someone felt the need to track her down to warn her made her wonder what she was missing.

  Those damn trust issues in her life.

  She could call Penelope and see if she knew anything about this woman but then told herself no. Penelope would tell Griffin and that would start a whole bunch of problems.

  Besides, she could figure this out on her own. She’d done that most of her life.

  But the next morning, she’d realized after tossing and turning all night, she had to get some answers.

  It was most likely nothing more than this person being a bitch, but she wouldn’t feel better until she talked to Alex about it and let him know. She’d want to know if one of her exes did that to Alex.

  She started to send him a text before she left for work on Friday and then stopped. He was getting off his shift and would go to sleep for a few hours and then said he’d go help Carter out at the shop for a few hours. They had plans to be together tonight. There was no reason to start something now. She had to get over her own insecurities on the matter.

  She forced herself to keep her mind on her job, but it was hard. For so many years she’d gone about her life as if she only had herself to worry about and she had no problem with that.

  Years later she is on this island feeling more emotions than ever before and she wasn’t thrilled with that.

  At the end of the day, Alex showed up at her house with dinner right when she was finished changing out of her work clothes.

  She didn’t want to hammer him with it when he walked in the door so she waited until they were seated at the table and eating.

  “I had a visitor here last night.”

  “You did?” he asked. “Who?”

  “She said she was someone that used to date you.”

  “What?” he asked, the pizza that was halfway to his mouth had stopped. “Some woman came to your house last night and said she dated me?”

  “Yep,” she said. “Just knocked on my door and stood there. I laughed and said she was probably here wanting to start trouble and she admitted she was.”

  His face flushed and she wasn’t sure what that was about. “Did she give her name?”

  “She did. I found the whole thing crazy and shut the door in her face.”

  “Why didn’t you call me last night? Or this morning?” he asked.