“I’m fine,” I said, waving off her concern. “Are you guys going to stay long?”

  “I’m not sure anyone’s plannin’ on stickin’ around,” my dad replied. “Why?”

  “I’m just ready to go,” I answered with a shrug. My palms were sweating.

  “Thought you rode with—” my dad stopped talking when Rose shook her head at him.

  “I’m ready,” Rose said. “Let me say goodbye to Lil, though.”

  I nodded as my dad dropped his arm over my shoulders.

  “I need to kill him?” he asked, leaning down to whisper in my ear.

  I couldn’t help the small laugh that spilled from my lips. “No.”

  “Alright,” he said with a sigh, straightening up. “If you’re sure.”

  “I’m sure.”

  “You gonna tell me what’s goin’ on?”

  “Nothing,” I replied stubbornly. “This is just depressing.”

  “Did you think it would be a party?” he asked in disbelief.

  “No, I just—I don’t know what I thought.”

  “It is pretty shockin’ to look at,” he said with a sigh, leading me over to where Lily and Rose stood talking to Charlie and Farrah. “Even if you know it’s gone, it’s still hard to see the wreckage.”

  “We’ll have dinner at our house tonight,” Lily was telling Rose. “You guys come over later?”

  “We’ll be there,” Rose said. “And Mack’s driving, so we can get hammered.”

  “I’m looking forward to that,” Farrah replied.

  “Not you,” Rose said, giving Farrah a hug. “You’re nuts when you drink. Me and Lily will get hammered.”

  “Me, too,” Charlie said. “I’m only a half crazy drunk.”

  All the women laughed.

  “No strippin’, no fightin’, no Jaeger,” my dad announced. “Or I’m leavin’ your ass for Leo to deal with.”

  “No Jaeger?” Rose gasped theatrically.

  “You’re fuckin’ mean when you drink that shit,” my dad grumbled.

  “Huh,” Charlie said, looking at me. “You are, too.”

  I flipped her off behind my dad’s back, making her laugh.

  “Let Draco know I left?” I asked her.

  “You tell him,” she replied, frowning at me.

  “Tell him I’ll call him later.”

  “Oh, for God’s sake,” she said in exasperation. “Really?”

  “Love you,” I said as Rose and my dad started walking away. “See you in a few hours.”

  I jogged to catch up with my parents, feeling like I had a bull’s-eye on my back and Draco was going to stop me until I’d climbed into the back of Rose’s SUV. I didn’t want to get into it with him, not then. I needed a little space.

  I needed a lot of space, if I was being honest. Too much was happening too fast. It was as if now that the seal was broken, suddenly, I was expected to be with him. Ride with him, spend the day with him, be his fucking old lady. Everyone expected it, I could tell by their comments and the way they’d just accepted that we were suddenly together.

  No one would understand why the thought of that made me feel like the world was going to implode.

  Pulling out my phone, I checked the little fire map again. I must have made a noise when I saw that our apartment was back in the level two evacuation zone because Rose turned to look at me.

  “What?” she asked.

  “I can go back to the apartment,” I replied, showing her the phone.

  “Just stay with us,” she said, leaning forward to look at it. “Better safe than sorry.”

  “No, I’ll probably head home.”

  “What, our home isn’t home anymore?”

  “You know what I mean,” I said, putting the phone away. “I’m going to shower in my own shower and stuff.”

  “Our bath was good enough for you yesterday. Why you always tryin’ to leave us?” she fake wailed.

  “Because you raised me to be an independent adult?” I asked, ignoring her theatrics.

  “We shouldn’t have done that,” my dad told Rose like I wasn’t right there. “We shoulda kept her afraid of everything. Shouldn’t have taught her how to pay her bills.”

  “Pretty sure math class taught me that,” I said.

  They ignored me.

  “Why’d you teach her how to drive?” Rose asked pathetically. “Now she can drive away from us.”

  “You shouldn’t have told her all that feminist shit,” he shot back. “If she’d kept believin’ I was in charge, none of this woulda happened.”

  “You guys are hilarious,” I said, deadpan. “Abbott and Costello.”

  It didn’t take long before we were home, and by then they’d pretty much accepted that I wasn’t going to stay with them. I could tell that they weren’t happy about it, but they wouldn’t push it, either. We’d come to a sort of understanding since I’d become an adult—I’d respect what they said and always take it under consideration, but I was going to do my own thing. Sometimes, but not always, that meant ignoring what they thought the right choice was.

  I hadn’t unpacked anything from my bag except the clothes I was wearing, so it only took a couple minutes to get my stuff together.

  “You could just go home after we have dinner at Lily’s,” Rose said from the doorway.

  I glanced at my bed, and in an instant, memories of naked Draco flashed through my mind.

  “No, I’m going to go home for a few hours,” I replied, smiling at her as I strode her way. “You act like I live in another country.”

  “It’s nice having you home,” she said with a sigh. “I like having all my chicks in one nest and I didn’t even get that because your brothers weren’t home last night.”

  “When are you going to pick them up?” I asked as we headed toward the front of the house.

  “I don’t know. I texted Heather and she said they’re keeping her monsters occupied, so no rush.”

  “Poor thing. You should bring a couple extra home with you.”

  “You know, having kids isn’t quite as terrible as you think it is,” she joked, bumping me with her hip. “They keep things from getting boring.”

  “I like being boring,” I told her. “Dad, I’m leaving!”

  “Text me when you get there,” he called back from somewhere down the hallway we’d just left.

  “You better get used to less boring,” Rose said as she opened the front door for me. “I have a feeling things are going to be exciting for you for a while.”

  “What does that mean?” I asked, turning my head to meet her eyes.

  She didn’t answer, just jerked her head to the driveway where Draco was getting out of his truck.

  “Goddamn it,” I muttered, stopping abruptly on the porch.

  “Have fun,” she sang, closing the door behind her.

  I cursed under my breath as I heard the deadbolt lock.

  “I have a key!” I yelled through it.

  “Good luck unlocking it before he gets to the porch, ya coward!” she yelled back with a cackle.

  I’d barely made it to the bottom of the steps before Draco’s angry voice reached me.

  “You fuckin’ kiddin’ me?” he asked, coming to a stop a few feet away. “What the fuck, Kara?”

  “I rode home with my parents,” I answered, walking toward my car.

  “I see that,” he replied. “I’m not fuckin’ chasin’ you.”

  “I don’t want you to chase me,” I said, turning to face him as I walked backward. “The apartments are level two again, so I’m going home.”

  “You plan on tellin’ me that?”

  “I asked Charlie to tell you I’d call,” I said defensively.

  “Right,” he spat, shaking his head.

  I threw my bag on the front seat, and turned to face him again. He hadn’t moved from his spot near the porch steps, obviously serious about the whole not chasing thing.

  He was clearly angry, but something in the way he stood and the expression on his face—it was like he’d known that I was going to run. Like he’d expected it. Like it was inevitable.

  It shook me.

  “Follow me back?” I asked, my voice small.

  God, I was all over the place. I wouldn’t have blamed him if he’d told me to go fuck myself.

  “I need to stop by my parents’ place first,” he said gruffly.

  “Okay,” I said, nodding.

  “I’ll let you know when I’m on my way.” He still hadn’t moved.

  “Sounds good,” I replied, crossing my arms over my chest.

  We stared at each other.

  “Not gonna keep runnin’ after you,” he said finally. “You wanna kiss goodbye, you’re gonna have to come get it.”

  “Right in front of the window?” I asked stubbornly.

  “It’s where you left me, baby. Take it or leave it,” he replied just as stubbornly.

  I wasn’t sure I liked this new version of the boy who used to give me anything I wanted. I stomped toward him anyway.

  “Whatever point you’re trying to make is stupid,” I said as I reached him.

  The words were barely out of my mouth before he was pulling me against him, his hands on my ass.

  “There she is,” he said against my mouth. “I wondered when she’d come back.”

  “What the hell are you talking about?” I asked, leaning my head away to look at him as he lifted me off my feet.

  “You’ve been running like a scared rabbit for months,” he said, leaning forward, trying to catch my lips with his. “You’re not a rabbit, baby. You’re a cat. You scratch when you’re cornered, you don’t run.”

  “That’s the dumbest analogy I’ve ever heard,” I replied. “And I’ve read a lot of terrible books.”

  “Just fuckin’ kiss me goodbye.”

  I gave in and leaned forward but I let him control the kiss.

  “Get off my lawn,” Rose yelled like an old man from inside the house.

  I flipped her off as Draco put me back on my feet.

  “I’ll see you soon,” he said, smacking my ass lightly. “Shouldn’t take long at my parents’ place.”

  We separated and I called myself every kind of stupid as I drove away. There were reasons why I hadn’t started shit up with Draco again, solid reasons, and they hadn’t gone away.

  I wasn’t some overly dramatic woman who thought she was poison to anyone she loved or anything stupid like that. I had close relationships with my parents and sibling and extended family and friends—I loved them all and they loved me. But, when it came right down to it, I was poison to Draco and I’d known it since I was sixteen years old—younger, if I went back to the very beginning. I didn’t try to be—if anything, I’d gone to great lengths since then to make sure that nothing about my life touched him in any way. But getting closer to him, letting him in, was going to demolish all that I’d done to protect him.

  I drove home on autopilot, wondering what the hell I was supposed to do now. Trying to find any way at all that I could have Draco and still maintain the distance that I’d cultivated over years of keeping to myself.

  Damn it, I wanted to go for a run. It cleared my head in a way that nothing else had, and I’d tried nearly everything—reading, sleep, alcohol, even knitting. After Draco was gone, I’d been rudderless. I’d ached for him and school had been a nightmare, even with Charlie there. It’s why I’d started running in the first place—for some quiet. When I ran, it was just me and the sound of my footsteps hitting the ground. No one was trying to talk to me, no one was staring, no one was checking up on me every five minutes to make sure I was okay. It was peaceful.

  I needed some of that.

  Unfortunately, the air was still disgusting and I had a feeling trying to run in it would be like trying to exercise with a cigarette in my mouth.

  The parking lot at the apartments was nearly deserted as I pulled in and got a parking spot. There were a few cars here and there—people that must have had the same itch to go home as I did—but the normal hustle and bustle was absent. It was kind of creepy as I climbed out and grabbed my bag off the front seat.

  I waved to one of my neighbors who was sitting on a lawn chair outside his sliding glass door and headed inside. It felt good to be home. It felt good to still have a home. I couldn’t believe all that had happened in the last twenty-four hours. It was like some kind of alternate reality.

  I went through the apartment, turning on lights and ceiling fans. The place smelled musty from the smoke outside. When I was done, I stood in the middle of the living room, not really sure what to do with myself. I wanted to take a shower before Draco showed up, but I also didn’t want to leave my stuff in the car too long and risk it being stolen.

  After letting my dad know that I’d made it home safely, I decided to grab my stuff first, since going out into the gross air after my shower seemed a little counterproductive. The guys had packed it all out in one trip, but it took me three.

  I was just grabbing the last of it, the milk crate and backpack, when a familiar voice said something behind me and I turned, my stomach sinking.

  “Level two means you’re supposed to have your stuff packed up and ready to go.” God, I hated him.

  I always acted like I didn’t know this particular police officer. That I hadn’t dealt with him at least ten times in the last five years. It was the only way to deal with him without giving him a reason to hassle me further. It was a little dance we did.

  I pretended to respect his authority and he pretended that he hadn’t been harassing me since the day he’d stood beside his police car and watched the cops in the other car take Draco away in handcuffs. He’d been a rookie then. Baby faced.

  “I’m keeping it packed,” I said, closing the back of my Jeep. “Just taking it inside.”

  “Let me help you,” he said, stepping forward.

  I hated that he only bothered me when he was working. It was as if the uniform and badge made him feel brave. It gave him a veneer of respectability and command. If he’d been in jeans and a t-shirt, he would’ve just been another regular shithead and I could’ve told him to go fuck himself.

  “I’ve got it,” I said, taking a couple steps backward. I glanced over at my neighbor, still sitting in his lawn chair.

  “You know, it seems like you’d be a little more appreciative of my help,” Officer Dickface said, walking with me toward the building.

  “My dad says I’m independent to a fault,” I replied, laughing a little like it was a joke. I stopped on the sidewalk.

  I didn’t want to stand there talking to him, but I also knew that letting him walk me all the way to my door was a seriously bad idea. Being out in the open where anyone could see us seemed safer.

  “I see you’ve hooked back up with the Harrison boys,” he said, bracing his hands on his belt.

  I wished I could tell him that when he stood like that, he looked like a little bantam rooster.

  “They’re family friends,” I replied.

  “Spending time with men like that’s a bad idea,” he said softly. “Wouldn’t want to get wrapped up in something that was going to get you into trouble.”

  My stomach sank as the phone in my pocket vibrated. I couldn’t be sure, but if I had to guess, Draco was on his way to my place. I looked toward the entrance to the parking lot. If he saw us, I wasn’t sure how I was going to explain it.

  “Curtis and Draco aren’t into anything that’s going to get me into trouble,” I replied, looking back at him.

  “That you know of,” Officer Asshole said condescendingly. “Take my word for it—it’s only a matter of time before one or both are back in prison.”

  I wanted to slap the smug look off his face. Silently, I just stared at him. It felt wrong to discuss the guys with him, dangerous, like anything I said could be twisted just enough for him to start hassling them, too.

  My heart started racing as Draco’s truck pulled into the parking lot.

  “I better get back to catching bad guys,” Officer Smalldick said, obviously noticing Draco, too. “Stay out of trouble.”

  I nodded. We both knew that I was about the last person in the town that was going to get into any kind of trouble that involved the police.

  As he turned to walk away, I hurried toward my apartment. I wanted to get inside before Draco reached me. He was going to have questions that I didn’t want to answer and I didn’t want to get into an argument on the sidewalk.

  I also didn’t want Officer Jackass to see us together, not when I knew Draco would kiss me hello the moment he reached me.

  I’d just put my stuff down by the front door when Draco walked in behind me and I braced for the inevitable round of questions. He didn’t disappoint.

  “That the same cop that was hasslin’ you yesterday?” he asked, closing and locking the door behind me.

  “Yeah,” I replied. It was best to keep things as close to the truth as possible. Besides, he knew the answer before he’d asked.

  “Why the fuck is he botherin’ you?” He half turned to face the door, like he was trying to decide whether or not to go back outside.

  “I think he was just making the rounds,” I said, trying to keep my voice even as I wrapped my arms around his waist. “Did you come here to talk about Officer Asshole or—”

  “Officer Asshole?” he asked, his lips twitching.

  “It’s actually Officer Park,” I replied with a shrug. “But Asshole suits him better, I think.”

  “You need to tell me if he comes around again,” Draco said, his body relaxing a fraction.

  “He won’t,” I assured him. “Why would he? It’s not like I’m selling drugs from the coffee shop or something.”

  “Jesus,” he said with a laugh. “Don’t even joke about that shit.”

  “You worry too much.”

  “Yeah, well, I’ve seen the way people get railroaded by the cops.” He shook his head. “Better to just steer clear of the fuckers.”

  “I will.”

  “I don’t get why he’s messin’ with—”

  His words cut off as I leaned up on my toes and kissed the side of his neck to distract him.

  I wasn’t proud of myself, but it worked.

  “You shoulda let me help you carry the stuff inside,” he said as he gripped my ass and hoisted me up to wrap my legs around his waist.