“Are we talking about the same old timers that sit with zero expression on their faces unless they’re laughing at your frustration?” I asked.

  “Shit, maybe they’ll feel sorry and let me win,” she replied. “You don’t know.”

  “Good luck and Godspeed,” I said with mock seriousness.

  “You’re really going back to your parents’?”

  “Yeah.” I stretched my arms above me. “If I get bored, I can always come back.”

  “See you in a couple hours,” Charlie replied knowingly.

  “I’m going to be nose deep in a book, so probably not,” I sang as I moved toward the door. “Text me later?”

  “Yep.”

  Pulling my mask out of my pocket, I jogged down the stairs and out the front door. As soon as I was outside and confirmed that I really did still need the stupid thing, I put it back on. I’d just gotten into my car as Rose’s car pulled into a spot up the street. I waved at my dad as I drove away.

  I’d left just in time because a few seconds later, I drove past Draco’s truck going in the opposite direction.

  I couldn’t believe that I’d actually said everything I had. It wasn’t me. I didn’t get into arguments. I didn’t cause drama. I’d done enough of that in high school to last the rest of my life. I’d avoided it at all costs since.

  So, why the hell had I decided to go off the rails all of a sudden? I had to assume it was just a response to everything happening around me. Having to pack all my important stuff up, being in forced proximity to Draco, seeing that fucking cop again, the fires and the possibility of Charlie’s childhood home being destroyed, all of it was just too much. I was smart to go back to my parents’ house and disconnect for a little while. I needed it.

  I was patting myself on the back as I waved to the security camera and let myself into my parents’ house. A little time in the quiet, in my old bedroom, surrounded by books and the familiar scent of home was just what I needed. Dropping my bag of clothes and toiletries on the floor, I strode across the room and flopped down onto the bed.

  Brody wanted my room so bad, and I was suddenly really glad that my dad and Rose hadn’t let him move in there yet. He and Jamison shared the only other bedroom besides the master, but Rose had been adamant that they didn’t get to have their own rooms yet. She said it was because it forced them to share and get along, but I was pretty sure she just wanted to make sure that I knew I still had a place in their house. She’d even bought me a new bed for my apartment so that I could leave my old twin bed in my room at home.

  Closing my eyes, I tried to relax, but it wasn’t working. Memories that I willed away on a normal day kept forcing themselves forward. The look on Draco’s face when we discovered a boy at school had taken a video of me topless. The tense set of his shoulders as he led me and Charlie out of school. The way he’d beaten the boy who’d taken the video, no hesitation or remorse, even after he was through.

  How protected I’d felt. How guilty. How scared I’d been later.

  Sitting up, I kicked off my shoes and let out a long breath, but I couldn’t stop the memories.

  The police showing up at Draco’s house to arrest him. The look of relief on his face when he was let out on bail. The tense months that followed, waiting for his court date. Pacing the house because my parents wouldn’t allow me to go to court. The minute my dad had walked in the door, the look on his face as he’d given me the news.

  “Nope,” I said out loud, refusing to allow the trip down memory lane to go a single step further.

  Grabbing my toiletry bag, I pulled a random book off my shelf and stomped across the hall to the bathroom. The house was silent and I was going to take a bath with the lavender Epsom salts that smelled like heaven and my stepmom always kept stocked. I was going to read and relax and escape my own goddamn mind.

  Fifteen minutes later, I’d succeeded. The good thing about being such a bookworm was that I’d read so many books that when I did a re-read, if it had been a few years, it was almost like reading a story for the first time. Even if I remembered the basic plot points, I never remembered the small things. It was enough to keep me distracted from what was happening outside the humid bathroom and inside my own memories.

  A noise from the front of the house made me pause and look up from my book. Was someone knocking? I froze, listening. After a minute of no other sounds, I fell back into the story.

  I nearly jumped out of my skin a few minutes later when someone knocked on the bathroom door.

  “Kara,” Draco called.

  He didn’t say anything else. Just my name.

  As I scrambled out of the tub, I accidentally knocked my book into the water and slipped, hitting my elbow hard on the toilet lid. It didn’t even slow me down as I practically dove for a towel.

  “What are you doing here?” I asked once I’d securely wrapped it around myself.

  “Open the door.”

  My eyes widened at his tone. “Give me a second,” I called back, pulling my clothes on. I was still damp and it took me twice as long because everything stuck to me.

  “What?” I asked, flinging open the door. My mouth dropped open. “What the fuck happened?”

  His hair was a mess. He had a black eye and a busted lip. There was a long scratch along his jaw and the neck of his t-shirt was so stretched out I was pretty sure it was ruined. As I took stock, I glanced at his hands. The knuckles were swollen and bloody.

  “What did you do?” I asked through the lump in my throat. My heart began to beat so loud in my ears that I wouldn’t have heard him if he’d responded. Every emotion and memory that I’d been trying so hard to ignore came flooding back, leaving me on the edge of some kind of panic attack.

  “Kara,” Draco said, reaching for me.

  I stumbled back, bumping my hip hard against the doorframe.

  “What did you do?” I asked again.

  All I could think was that I’d done it again. It had been five years since the first time, and I’d been so careful since then. One slip, that was all it had taken.

  “Oh God,” I murmured. “Oh, God. What did you do?”

  “What?” Draco asked in confusion, reaching for me again. “Kara, what?”

  I stared at him, a million things racing through my mind. Whatever it was, we’d take care of it. I wasn’t a kid anymore. We’d run if we had to. We’d go somewhere far away. We could hide. People did that all the time. The club would help, wouldn’t they? They’d help this time. They had to.

  “Baby,” he said, pulling me against his chest. “Breathe.”

  One arm banded around my back while the other hand cupped the back of my head, pushing my face against his neck.

  “Breathe, Kara,” He said against my hair. “It’s okay, baby. What’s wrong? Whatever it is, I’ll fix it.”

  My hands shook as I lifted them to the small of his back.

  “Shh,” he said, holding me tighter. “You’re okay. It’s okay.”

  It wasn’t. I knew that it wasn’t. What had he done? What secret had he unearthed? I pressed my hands against his back harder, curling my fingers into his t-shirt.

  “We have to go,” I said, almost in a daze as I pulled back a little. “It’s okay. We’ve already packed the important stuff. Let’s just go.”

  “What the hell are you talking about?” he asked in confusion, jerking his head back to look at me.

  “We can just go,” I said, pulling away completely. I turned and swiped my toiletry bag off the counter, ignoring the still full bathtub. “Come on. We can just go now.”

  Later, much later, it would be almost funny when I remembered the look of absolute confusion on his face as I’d hurried past him to grab my bag from my room.

  “I’m ready,” I said, turning to face him with my bag slung over my shoulder.

  “Ready for what?” he asked, stopping me in the doorway. “What the fuck are you talking about?”

  “Let’s go,” I said, nodding. “We can figure it out later, okay? Whatever it was, we can figure it out later. Let’s just go now.” My words were frantic. Why wasn’t he moving? We needed to go. I wiped at the tears of frustration running down my face. When had I started crying?

  “Baby, I’ll go anywhere with you,” he said soothingly, his hands out in front of him, palms up. “But you gotta tell me what the fuck is happenin’ right now.”

  I stopped, staring up at his battered face.

  “We have to go before the cops come,” I replied as calmly as I could, my voice wobbling. “Hurry.”

  Draco’s expression moved from surprise to shock, and as his eyes closed, to understanding. When he opened them again, I had to force myself not to look away.

  “Cops aren’t comin’, sweetheart,” he said softly.

  “You—” I looked at his hands again. “You—”

  “Curtis,” he explained, making my shoulders droop in relief. “No one’s callin’ the cops.”

  “Oh,” I said, my voice barely a whisper.

  “Jesus, Kara,” he replied.

  “Okay,” I said, slowly setting my bag down on the ground. “That’s okay, then.”

  My voice hitched, and I slapped my hand over my mouth to hold the noise inside.

  “Come here,” he said, his hands hanging at his sides.

  I shook my head.

  “Come here, baby.”

  I shook my head again as a sob escaped through my fingers. I couldn’t. I couldn’t move. Relief and fear and embarrassment had me frozen to the spot.

  “Goddamn it,” he breathed, striding toward me.

  The toiletry bag dropped from my fingers as he lifted me off my feet, turning to sit on the edge of the bed with me in his lap. I sobbed into his neck and wrapped myself around him, clutching at his back and shoulders.

  “Fuck, Kara,” he said, one hand around my waist. He threaded the fingers of his other hand through my hair, holding me just as tightly as I was holding him.

  “You have to be careful,” I cried against his neck. “You have to—”

  “Shh,” he soothed. “I’m not goin’ anywhere.”

  “I can’t—”

  “Calm down, sweetheart,” he said, pulling my face away from his neck. “I’m not goin’ anywhere.”

  I knew he believed it, but I didn’t. Because if the day had proven anything, it had proven that I wasn’t as good at keeping secrets as I thought I was. If something as simple as an argument had me flying off the handle at Curtis, then a fight had the chance of bringing everything I’d hidden to the surface.

  And if he knew even half of the secrets I’d been keeping, there was a good chance he’d end up back in prison.

  With that thought, the damn completely broke. I leaned forward and pressed my lips to his for the first time in five years.

  He sat completely still for a few seconds and my heart felt like it fell to the bottom of my stomach.

  My breath hitched.

  Then he moved.

  His hand tightened painfully in my hair as he tilted my head for a better angle and bit my bottom lip. Then it was me who sat frozen.

  “You’re not takin’ this back later,” he said against my mouth.

  His chest rose and fell as fast and as hard as mine as we looked at each other, just inches apart.

  Finally, I nodded.

  The world shifted as he stood with me in his arms and slammed my bedroom door shut. Then I was on my back in bed with Draco’s lips against mine, his tongue sliding against the roof of my mouth. I shuddered.

  He hadn’t forgotten.

  Neither had I.

  As our mouths broke contact, I arched my neck and sucked his bottom lip between my teeth, lightly running my tongue across it the way I knew drove him crazy.

  He gripped my jaw in his hand.

  I lightly scratched the back of his neck.

  He rolled his hips against the notch between my thighs.

  I wrapped my legs around his waist.

  He groaned.

  I sighed.

  His mouth went to my throat and I saw stars.

  My hands slid under his t-shirt and he shivered as my fingers brushed his ribs.

  He leaned up to tear the t-shirt over his head and I stared.

  The body I’d once known almost as well as my own had changed. The shoulders were unbelievably broader. The muscles thicker.

  “What?” he asked hoarsely.

  “Mine, too,” I replied without thought, lifting my arms above my head.

  As he helped me pull the shirt off, the only thing I could focus on was the way his skin would feel against mine once the barriers were gone. So I was surprised when he paused, braced above me, his eyes hooded.

  It was then that I realized my body had changed, too. Where there had once been roundness and softness, there were now valleys and angles. I swallowed hard, forcing myself not to cover myself with my arms.

  “You have abs,” he said, his voice almost teasing. “There are actual abs down here.”

  “Shut up,” I breathed as he dropped down, his mouth opening against the space between my breasts.

  We didn’t speak as we slowly undressed each other, taking stock of the things that had changed and all of the things that were remarkably the same about our bodies. He still loved it when I scratched his back and reached between us to run my hand down his stomach. It still drove me crazy when he gripped the back of my thigh to position me just right and slid his thumb into my mouth, his eyes focused on the way my lips wrapped around it.

  We both held our breath as he slid inside me, and I waited for the proclamations of love that had spilled from his mouth in the past, but they never came. He was different now. More reserved, maybe. More focused.

  By the time I came, both of our bodies were slippery with sweat and the room was filled with a scent I never thought I’d experience again. Draco’s face was buried in the crook of my neck as he suddenly pulled out and came on my stomach, his entire body shuddering.

  “Goddamn,” he breathed, pausing, his body braced above mine.

  “Now’s probably not the best time to ask, but you’re clean, right?” I said softly.

  He tensed and then laughed humorlessly against my neck.

  “Way to ruin a moment,” he said, rolling to his side.

  I shrugged. Now that it was over and the aftermath was upon us, I was feeling very exposed.

  “Haven’t been with anyone in years,” he said, not meeting my gaze. “Not since before I went in.”

  “Seriously?” I asked in surprise. That was a long ass time, especially for someone that had whored his way through high school.

  “I should be the one askin’ you,” he said bluntly.

  “I’m clean,” I said quickly.

  “You been with anyone else?” he asked nonchalantly.

  My jaw snapped shut. “None of your business,” I replied tightly.

  He huffed and sat up, swinging his legs over the side of the bed.

  “Don’t get all pissy,” I ordered, reaching for the t-shirt by my feet so I could slip it on. “And don’t act like I’m the one who gets around.”

  “That’s not what I said and not what I implied,” he shot back, standing up to gather his own clothes.

  “Whatever.”

  “I’ve been in love with you since we were kids,” he said, angrily yanking on his clothes. “So, no, haven’t been with anyone else. Can’t say the same about you.”

  I inhaled sharply. “That’s a low blow.”

  “Truth, though,” he replied.

  I scoffed. “It’s also the truth that you were fucking your way through Eugene while you were supposedly in love with me.”

  “Not since you,” he said firmly, his eyes on me.

  I nodded, looking away.

  “I was gone a long time,” he said with a sigh, running his hands through his hair. “Didn’t expect you to wait. Don’t worry about it.”

  I didn’t reply. It was stupid, but I didn’t want him to know that I hadn’t been with anyone else. It felt… telling, somehow. Like I’d been waiting for him, when I hadn’t—at least, not on purpose. I’d spent the last four years focused on surviving, on living. I hadn’t had the time or inclination to date.

  “Can we rewind?” he asked, stepping back to the bed so he could lean down over me. As I dropped back down against the mattress, I sighed.

  “Yeah, we can rewind,” I replied.

  “Good.” Our lips met softly, his nose brushing against the side of mine. “I feel like I got run over by a truck. Take a nap with me?”

  Suddenly, a nap sounded like a very good idea.

  “Let me get dressed first,” I replied.

  Draco laughed. “What?”

  “If my parents come home while we’re asleep, I don’t want them coming in here and seeing us all—you know,” I gestured wildly with my hands.

  “All, you know?” he asked in amusement, leaning back so I could get up.

  “Half naked and debauched,” I replied, grabbing my underwear and jeans.

  “You’ve been readin’,” he said, laying down on the bed.

  “Historical romance is my jam,” I said easily as I finished getting dressed.

  “Well, no worries about your parents finding us half naked and debauched,” he said as I climbed back in bed and curled up against him. “Though, too bad we can’t open a window. Smells like sex in here.”

  I snorted, and Draco chuckled and tightened his arm around me. “Relax,” he said against my hair. “My truck’s out front. Your dad is gonna know better than to open your bedroom door.”

  “If you think that’ll stop Rose, you don’t know her very well,” I grumbled against his chest.

  I pushed away my instincts that were screaming at me to run as far and fast as I could and let my body relax against his. I’d have plenty of time to call myself every kind of idiot later. What was that saying, in for a penny in for a pound? I might as well enjoy my terrible decision for a little while longer. Within minutes, I was asleep.

  “Everything’s gonna be fine,” Draco said, his hands meeting my back as he pushed me higher on the swing. “They’re probably gonna just offer me a deal. Probation or something.”

  “You don’t know that,” I said worriedly, my shoulders slumped and my hair whipping around my face.