“I know,” I said quickly, instantly regretting my tone. “I know.”

  We were quiet for a few moments.

  “Rose is pissed,” Dad said finally. “Fair warning.”

  We got off the phone a few minutes later and I had just enough time to run to the restroom before they started boarding my flight. As soon as I’d found my seat, nervous anticipation hit me at the thought of being back home.

  Instead of dreading the conversation I needed to have with Draco, the closer I got to Oregon, the more ready I became to lay everything out on the table. Nana had convinced me during the long ass walks she’d dragged me on that he was going to find out no matter what I did and the long runs I’d gone on by myself had helped me come to terms with that fact. Secrets always had a way of coming out into the open and wouldn’t I rather he heard them from me? I needed to trust him with everything. The anxiety of making sure that he didn’t find out had turned into anticipation of unloading it all at once and getting it over with. Once it was out in the open, I could deal with the fallout—at least that’s what I told myself.

  By the time I’d reached my car in the long-term parking, I was practically humming with nervous energy. It would still be hours before I was back in Eugene, but I planned on using the drive to work out everything I wanted to say. I was equal parts dread and anticipation. I couldn’t wait to see Draco, to be able to look in his eyes and smell him and know that he was close enough to touch, but that was mixed with a sense of foreboding. I wasn’t sure how he would react to all of the things I needed to tell him. At least I knew, once it was out in the open, we could move forward. The miserable limbo I’d been in for years would finally be over.

  When I finally pulled into town, I checked the clock, and realizing that Draco would still be at work, I decided not to go home first. The club would be neutral ground, just as much my place as his—at least until he patched in—and if things went south, there would be other people there to stop him from doing something stupid.

  I rolled my window down as I reached the gates and groaned as I realized who was standing guard.

  “Oh, great,” Curtis said flatly. “You’re home.”

  “Nice to see you, too,” I replied in the same tone. “Would you open the gate?”

  He stared at me for a long moment and then took his sweet time rolling the gate backward just wide enough for my car to fit through. Lucky for him, my dad had taught me to drive instead of Rose, or there was a good chance I would have run over his feet as I threaded through the space.

  I flipped him off as I drove down the gravel driveway, not bothering to look back and see if he’d noticed.

  I was on a mission and he wasn’t the Harrison brother I’d come to see.

  As I reached the forecourt, I realized that I was cutting it pretty close timing-wise. Most of the guys were milling around, the big garage doors already closed for the night. Draco’s truck was easy to spot, though, surrounded by a sea of Harleys, so I knew he hadn’t left yet.

  “How was Montana?” Grandpa Grease called from where he was smoking on one of the picnic tables near the front entrance. He leaned forward, bracing his elbows on his knees as he flicked the ash of his cigarette.

  “It was good,” I replied, lifting my arms out to the sides. “I got a tan.”

  “I see that.”

  “Did you miss the smoke?” I asked, waving my hand in front of me as I got closer. “Decided to fill the air back up with it?”

  “Funny,” he said, emotionlessly. “Guessin’ you didn’t come to see me. He’s inside.”

  “I’m actually looking for Draco,” I said, fidgeting a little.

  “He’s inside,” he repeated with a nod.

  I lifted my eyebrows in surprise. “You didn’t think I was looking for my dad?”

  Grandpa Grease laughed. “Nah,” he said shaking his head. “Only one reason a girl comes stomping toward the clubhouse, and it ain’t because she’s lookin’ for her pop.”

  I grimaced, slowing my steps.

  “Go get him,” he said, his eyes twinkling as he jerked his head toward the door.

  The expression on his face bolstered me a little and I straightened my shoulders.

  “Love you, kid,” he called out once I’d passed him.

  “Love you, too, old man,” I replied.

  The club was always sort of dark no matter how many lights were on and it took a minute for my eyes to adjust when I walked inside. It was relatively quiet as I looked around the main room, which was a little jarring. I was used to the sound system cranked up to eleven and the noise of up to a hundred people laughing and arguing and stomping around.

  “Look who’s back,” Charlie’s dad, Casper, said, coming out of the room behind the bar. Habit made me glance through the doorway before he shut it behind him. I wasn’t allowed in that room. Ever.

  “Hey,” I said, smiling at him. I couldn’t see Draco anywhere and I was losing my sense of purpose with every minute it took to find him.

  “You have a good time with your grandparents?” he asked, coming over to give me a hug.

  “Yeah,” I said hugging him back.

  “Good,” he said as he patted my back. “How’re Howie and Louise?”

  “They’re good,” I replied, pulling away. “On their way here, actually.”

  “You tell them to stop by the club and we’ll give that RV of theirs a quick once over,” he said easily. “Change the oil and shit.”

  “I’ll let them know,” I said, half distracted as I looked around the room again.

  Poet was at his place by the bar with Rocky, another member of the club. Uncle Tommy was sitting by himself on a couch in the back corner nursing a beer—his usual place for exactly a half-an-hour after work. He said that giving himself that half-an-hour of quiet before going to the chaos at home was the only reason his marriage worked. Leo and Draco’s dad, Cam, were at a table discussing something that I couldn’t hear, their voices low. My dad was nowhere to be found, but I could hear Dragon’s voice somewhere in the back hallway. Bikes fired up in the forecourt and the familiar noise told me that most everyone else was headed home for the night.

  No Draco, though.

  “Think he’s cleanin’ up,” Casper said knowingly. “He’ll be out in a minute if you wanna wait.”

  “Jesus, am I that transparent?” I asked in exasperation.

  “These walls have seen more women comin’ in here lookin’ for their men than you could even comprehend,” he replied with a chuckle. “You ain’t the first, doll.”

  “Maybe, I should just—” my words stumbled to a stop as Draco walked through the archway that led to the back hallway wearing a cut.

  I don’t know why the sight of that leather vest on his broad chest hit me so hard, but it did. A mixture of pride, arousal and fear swirled around in my belly as I gaped at him.

  “You’re back,” he said, striding toward me as Casper made a quiet exit. “You have a good time?”

  “I—uh, yeah,” I replied, my heart starting to pound. He wasn’t happy to see me. I could tell by the set of his shoulders and the lack of welcome in his expression. He was being polite, but the familiar warmth was gone. I pressed forward anyway. “Can we talk? I mean,” I grimaced and clenched my hands together in front of me for courage. “I mean, I can talk. I’d like to uh, tell you some stuff.” I spoke so quickly that my words started rolling together like one long run-on sentence. “Some stuff about while you were gone and the things I haven’t told you and you deserved to know them and I know that now and I just really think that maybe if I told you—”

  “Not necessary,” he said easily. He even smiled a little, like he was letting me off the hook.

  “I know that things got a little heated before I left,” I said, fully aware that most of the men in the room had their eyes on us and I was making an absolute ass of myself. I figured I deserved it, though, and kept going. “And we both said some things that we shouldn’t have.”

  “I’m sorry about that,” he said sincerely. He’d stopped a few feet from me and I was reminded of what he’d said to me in front of my parents’ house. He was done chasing me. If I wanted him, I had to go to him.

  Gathering up what little courage I had left, I took a few steps forward until our bodies were nearly touching and I raised my face toward his. That’s where the courage ended. I couldn’t force myself to touch him or to lean up onto my toes.

  And thank God for small mercies that I hadn’t, because the moment I got close to him, he took a step backward.

  It was the harshest rebuff that he’d ever given me. Even when we’d argued, he’d never moved away from me. Never, in our entire lives. Our bodies, before we’d even been aware of it, had always gravitated toward each other.

  The air in my lungs left in a whoosh as I stared at him in incomprehension. It actually took me a full second to realize what had just happened.

  “Oh,” I said softly, my hands starting to shake.

  “I’m glad you had a good time,” he said quietly. “Really.”

  “Thank you,” I replied, swallowing, swallowing, swallowing, as I willed my eyes not to water. I could feel my nose start to sting and I dug my nails into my palms to try and distract myself. “I see you finally decided to prospect,” I said, trying like hell to act like things were normal and failing miserably as my voice wobbled.

  “Look, you wanna go outside?” he asked sympathetically, glancing around the room.

  That made the urge to cry even worse. I held back a sob by sheer force of will, pressing my lips together hard. As soon as I knew that I wouldn’t bawl like a baby, I shook my head. “No,” I said, letting out a little huff of air. “No, that’s okay.” I laughed then, the sound watery and pathetic. “I mean, they’ve all been watching this play out, right? It’s not like they won’t be discussing it later anyway.”

  “Kara,” he said softly.

  “No, it’s cool,” I said stepping backward. “No worries. This is fine. It’s good, right? This is better. No need to rehash old shit.” I swung my arm out awkwardly, still walking backward, and accidentally slammed the top of my hand against the bar. Another uncomfortable laugh escaped me as I pulled my throbbing hand against my chest. “I’ll, um, I’ll see you around. I mean, it’s not like we won’t see each other.”

  He stood there and watched me go.

  As I spun and pushed the door open, Tommy’s voice carried from across the room.

  “That was fuckin’ brutal,” he said, his voice holding both sympathy and condemnation. I wasn’t sure which one of those was for me and which one was for Draco.

  The moment the door swung shut behind me, the sob I’d been swallowing back came tearing out of my throat. It was quiet, and painful, and it came from deep in my belly. I blindly took three steps to my car, tripping over my own feet as I hurried, when a pair of strong arms wrapped around me and suddenly I was airborne.

  “You’re alright, darlin’,” Grandpa Grease’s voice said quietly in my ear as he carried me across the forecourt. “It’s gonna be alright. Let’s find your pop.”

  “I’m okay,” I said, my voice coming out in shuddering gasps. “I’m okay. You can put me down.”

  “Well, now that I’ve got ya up here,” he said, striding toward the door at the edge of the garage as I covered my face with my hands, “I may as well finish the job.”

  He somehow opened the door, still holding me, and the scent of oil and metal surrounded us as he walked inside.

  “The fuck happened?” my dad asked, his familiar footsteps hurrying toward us.

  “Came here looking for Draco,” Grandpa Grease said, handing me to my dad like a sack of potatoes. “Figured she shouldn’t be drivin’ like this.”

  “I’m fine,” I insisted, clearly not fine.

  “Shh,” my dad replied. He pressed my head against his shoulder and without thought to who could be there witnessing my drama, I lost it. My chest heaved and my stomach tightened as I bawled, my arms wrapped tightly around my dad’s neck. And even though the pain was vivid and overwhelming, it was almost a relief to be able to pour it out on my dad. It had been so long since I’d allowed myself to let him comfort me.

  “You got this?” Grandpa Grease asked quietly.

  “Yeah,” my dad said. “Thanks for grabbin’ her.”

  Grandpa Grease circled around the back of my dad and smoothed the hair away from my face so his eyes could meet mine.

  “You’ll be alright,” he said. He tapped one finger against my cheek. “Chin up, eyes forward, yeah?”

  “Yeah,” I whispered back.

  I hiccupped as I tried to get myself under control, and after a few minutes, the tears finally stopped and I let out a huge sigh. By then, we’d made our way back to the couch in the back office and I was sitting hip to hip with my dad, his arm slung around my shoulders and my head on his chest.

  “Didn’t go well, huh?” he finally said.

  I huffed out a breath. “You could say that,” I rasped. My throat ached and a headache pounded behind my eyes.

  “It’ll all work out in the end,” he said, rubbing my back. “Probably don’t feel like it now, but I promise you it will.”

  “I fucked up,” I whispered, staring at the wall.

  “Then try to make it right,” he said simply.

  “I did,” I said, scoffing. “That’s why I’m here.”

  Dad was quiet for a moment. “Well, that’s all you can do, princess.”

  “He didn’t want to hear it,” I replied.

  “And that’s on him. You can’t control other people. You just make sure you’re doin’ right by them. If they don’t want to see it, that’s their issue. Not yours.”

  “I thought I was doing right by him,” I said softly. “That’s why I was keeping my distance.”

  “Why the hell didn’t you tell me you were dealin’ with shit back then?” he asked, tipping his head down to look at me. “I woulda taken care of it.”

  “That’s what I was afraid of,” I replied glumly. “When those photos and videos came out, Draco ended up going to prison.”

  Dad laughed. “Kara, we woulda switched you to a different school or homeschooled you or somethin.’”

  “I couldn’t take the risk,” I replied.

  “I know you’ve been dealt a shit hand,” Dad said, kissing the top of my head. “First your mom and then all that shit with me and Rose, and then Draco. I get it, sweetheart. But you gotta learn to trust people.”

  “I do trust you,” I protested.

  “You didn’t trust that I wouldn’t fly off the handle and beat some little high schoolers to death,” he replied dryly.

  “When you say it like that, it sounds stupid,” I muttered.

  “Ya think?” he asked jokingly. “I woulda helped ya, princess. You didn’t have to go through that shit alone.”

  “I’m sorry,” I said with a sigh.

  “Yeah, me too, kid,” he replied, kissing my head again. “Why don’t you come home with me? You can have dinner with us and let Rose fuss over ya.”

  “Okay,” I said.

  “Yeah?” he asked in surprise. “Alright. Come on, I’m pretty sure Molly left her helmet over in Will’s bay the other day. You can borrow that and I’ll bring it back in the mornin’.”

  “You want me to ride with you?” I asked, laughing as he towed me through the garage.

  “Just what the doctor ordered,” he said, shooting me a grin. “The wind in your face and the open road.”

  Chapter 16

  Draco

  “Mind your own business,” I snapped at Tommy as he strolled over to where I was standing, frozen, after I’d watched Kara leave.

  It was for the best, for both of us. There had been too much back and forth, not knowing where we stood. I didn’t want to do that shit anymore and Kara couldn’t be enjoying it, either. Who would? I’d come to the realization while she was gone that she’d obviously been having a hell of a time keeping me at a distance, but she wasn’t any better at keeping me close. I was sick of it and I didn’t want that for her, either. Both of us deserved a little stability.

  “Man, she came in here lookin’ for you,” Tommy said, setting his empty beer bottle on the bar. “And you blew it.”

  “Seriously, Tommy,” I said through my teeth. “Drop it.”

  I wondered if she’d made it to her car yet. I could still stop her if I hurried.

  “She came in here lookin’ for you,” he said again, staring at me. “She ever do that before?”

  “You know she hasn’t,” I snapped. “Everyone gossips in this fuckin’ place.”

  “She came in here, knowin’ that we’d all be here,” he continued. “Knowin’ that she might not get the reception she was hopin’ for—”

  “Jesus Christ,” I muttered in annoyance.

  “What else did ya want, kid?” he asked in disgust. “For her to get up on the bar and shout her everlastin’ love?”

  “Stay out of it, Tommy,” I replied.

  “You’re a fuckin’ moron,” he said, shaking his head as he turned to leave. “And in the future, you better watch how you fuckin’ talk to me, prospect.”

  I stood in that same place even after he’d left. My boots seemed glued to the floor. I’d been waiting all week for her to come back so that I could finally put an end to our cat and mouse shit, and now that it had happened, I wasn’t sure what to do with myself. Part of me still wondered if I could catch her and tell her that I did want to hear whatever it was she wanted to tell me, that we’d figure it out and it wasn’t too late. The other part of me remembered how it felt when she’d stopped coming to see me, how she’d dodged me for months, how she’d kept secrets and—

  “You alright, boyo?” Great Gramps Poet called quietly from the end of the bar.

  “Yeah,” I replied, snapping out of it. I’d done the right thing. We could move forward now. Maybe, eventually, we’d even be friends again.

  “You sure?” he asked as I turned to talk to him. “You sure this is the road you’d like to take?”