That was indeed the problem. Ever since Apoca had kissed Chaos, she had been aware that success was within their grasp, had she but the wit to recognize the key. There had been repeated hints. Somehow Boy could after all get Girl and be transformed.

  Transformed. Almost like Transcription. Transcription transformed. Somehow. No pun.

  What Demon Talents really needed was a closer relationship with a soul. So he could be more like the Demoness. That might make him worthy. If there were any soul available. If he had any interest.

  But what could a mortal woman like herself do, given that she was not smart enough to recognize what was within her grasp?

  “Or a bug,” Nimbus agreed, following her thought and sharing her frustration, her inadequacy. “Telepathy is not enough.”

  “Or a ghost,” Ghorgeous added, similarly balked. “A soul without substance.”

  Then Apoca got an idea that flashed so brightly that the impact blew the roof off the little house. That was possible, given that the house was merely mental. A thought had as much reality as the structure did.

  “Wow!” the batoness printed.

  “My,” Transcription remarked, impressed. “I am interested in your revelation. It is surely a potent one.”

  “It is indeed,” Apoca said, dazed by the wonder of it. “It is the answer to the problem of the Quest. I—wait, our whole group needs to hear this. Can you transport us back to the cottage, Demoness?”

  Transcription smiled. “You never left it. I will join you. Open your eyes.”

  Apoca’s mental eyes were open, but not her physical ones. She opened those, and found herself back in the cottage room, sitting on the floor with Nolan, Vinia, and Gent. Nimbus was back too, and Ghorgeous, and the batoness. Dwarf Demon Talents remained frozen, freaked out by the picture.

  “Wow!” Vinia said. “The batoness faded out, so I knew your mind was elsewhere. You’re the Protagonist; we don’t count when you’re not with us. Now it’s back.”

  “It’s back,” Apoca agreed, smiling.

  “You are densely green. You’re into something huge.”

  “I must be,” Apoca agreed, half-dazed by the revelation. The assorted hints had finally coalesced into an insight. It had been there all along, just waiting to be grasped.

  “What is it?” Nolan asked.

  Apoca organized her discovery. “Folks, I finally caught on to the answer we were missing. But first, let me introduce Dwarf Demoness Transcription. She is a significant part of the key to the solution. Demoness?”

  The Dwarf Demoness formed with a roughly human aspect, a woman whose details somehow escaped notice. “Hello, Quest.”

  “Hello, Demoness,” they chorused back, fascinated by her presence.

  “Here is my capsule summary,” Apoca said. “DD Talents is not at his post because he has a crush on DD Transcription, but she sees their relationship as business, not romance. If she were to become romantic and tell him to get back to work, he would do it immediately. We need to persuade her to romance him.”

  “Obese fortune,” the Demoness muttered. “Or in your dialect, fat chance.”

  “Every entity has his or her price,” Apoca continued evenly. “Demoness, what would you give to have close, continuing contact with a soul?”

  “Just about anything. Any Demon would. But this is academic, because a soul cannot be coerced. It has to want to associate, and only it can decide. I have no more chance of persuading a soul to companion with me than you have of persuading me to romance this oaf.” She indicated the tuned-out Dwarf Demon. They were treating him as if he wasn’t there, because he really wasn’t there. Only his formed body, a shell to be animated as convenient.

  “Exactly,” Apoca said. “The challenges are parallel.” The others looked at her, perhaps wondering exactly how far away her lost mind was. “Ghorgeous.”

  The ghost formed a faint image of a face. “Yes?”

  “What would you give to have a physical body again, shaped to your image as you were when you died?”

  “Anything. But only by joining someone else’s living body is that possible, and then it would be her image and initiative, not mine.”

  “You are in effect a disembodied soul.”

  “I am a disembodied soul. No ‘in effect’ about it. That’s my problem.”

  “If DD Transcription condensed into a physical body, in your image, would you be willing to animate it?”

  “Yes,” Ghorgeous whispered, amazed. “But why would she ever want to waste her effort that way?”

  Apoca looked at the Demoness. “I think you know the price of her.”

  The Demoness looked at the ghost. The ghost looked at the Demoness. Then the two of them moved together, overlapping.

  Ghorgeous Girl formed, nude, breathtakingly beautiful. In fact, she put the pin-up picture to shame. Her dark hair flowed curvaceously past her full bosom, tiny waist, compelling hips, perfect thighs, and exquisite legs to her dainty feet. She smiled, and the room brightened, literally. “Hello, all. I am now physical.”

  “Who are you?” Apoca asked, just to be sure.

  “I am Ghorgeous.” Then her dazzling face changed expression. “And Transcription. We have merged. We are compatible. We each have what the other most ardently desires. Ghorgeous will handle things when there are mortal matters to attend to, as she is conversant with the mortal realm. Transcription will attend to Demon duties.” She looked at the Demon. “Including the chores.”

  “There is more,” Apoca said. “Another potential conversion that may alleviate that chore. Put on some clothing.” She was not even taken aback by the fact that she was giving orders to a Demoness.

  A conservative dress formed around the figure, together with dainty gloves and slippers, masking its attributes without diminishing its appeal by more than a whit or two.

  “More?” Nolan asked with barely suppressed amazement.

  “In a moment.” Apoca looked at the woman. “What DD Talents needs is discipline, integrity, and decency. With those attributes he would be an acceptable partner.”

  “He would,” Transcription agreed. “But that would require a massive infusion of responsibility.”

  “That would require a soul.”

  Ghorgeous laughed, her whole body quivering delectably. “He can’t have mine.”

  “Gent,” Apoca said.

  The man managed to haul his eyes away from the fabulous woman and met Apoca’s gaze. “Yes?”

  “How would you like to be the male equivalent to that female?”

  He did not smile. “What is the price?”

  “You must share your body with Dwarf Demon Talents, lending him your conscience, which is something he presently lacks, and your familiarity with mortal matters such as eating, sleeping, and, um, digestion. You will have control, in the mortal realm, but there will be the job of crafting and assigning talents for new children. In return you will have magic such as you have never known and the physical aspect of that female to love.”

  He looked again at the figure. “I have come to know Ghorgeous Ghost. I would be delighted to have her as my girlfriend regardless of her appearance. Is the Demoness of good character?”

  “Yes. I am impressed with the work she is doing to help a species that has little sympathy elsewhere. In addition, she handles a vital aspect of processing orders for creating babies, and she has not neglected that. I do believe she is a good person.”

  “Then I will be glad to share my body and soul with the Demon.”

  Apoca nodded. “You?” she asked the woman.

  “I have come to know Gent too. Behind the facade of the witch’s curse, he is an informed and honorable man. I am not forgetting that he elected to remain with the Quest when he no longer had to, despite its dangers. He will do.”

  Apoca was not surprised. She had come to know both of them herself. “It is time for that merger. Transcription, if you please, wake Talents. Make the deal.”

  The woman walked over to the picture and stood in front of it. “Wake,” she murmured.

  DD Talents snapped out of his trance. “What?”

  “I am Transcription. I will be yours if you join with a soul.”

  He was plainly mesmerized by her identity and appearance. “How?”

  She reached out and caught Gent’s hand. “Merge with this mortal.”

  The Demon did not argue. He dissolved into mist, floated forward, intercepted Gent, and faded into him. Gent straightened, firmed, and glowed faintly. “We are merged.” It hardly mattered which of them spoke.

  “Kiss me,” Ghorgeous said.

  He kissed her. A little heart sailed up, a precursor of many more to come. It was done.

  He whispered in her ear. She shook her head. “Not before marriage. I was a virgin when I died, and I mean to be one when I finally do marry.” That was clearly the recently mortal woman.

  He backed off. There was a Demoness enforcing her stance.

  Then something else occurred to him. “I need to be rid of this pun curse. Otherwise when it comes to the wedding I will say ‘Eye dew.’”

  “Not so,” Apoca said. “You now have a thousand times the magic the witch had. You can burn that curse to a crisp with just a thought.”

  “So I can,” he agreed, realizing. He focused and a wisp of smoke rose from his head.

  “Now catch up on those talents,” Transcription said.

  “Yes, dear,” he agreed meekly. He vanished. He had Demon work to do.

  The woman turned to Apoca. “Thank you from both of us. You have given us each what we most craved.”

  “It was the Quest.” But she was inordinately pleased, not only for succeeding in that, but for helping two friends to improve their lots significantly.

  “We will remember. Now I sense an ailing dragon.” Then she, too, vanished.

  “You did it!” Vinia said. “You saved the talents, and maybe some dragons too! You are soaked in green.”

  “You certainly helped. So did Nimbus and Aurora. Their telepathy was invaluable.” The girl and the bugs radiated pleasure for the recognition.

  The two batons bobbed, contented with the outcome of what had turned out to be a significant story.

  Apoca glanced sidelong at Nolan. “You too. It was really your Quest.”

  “I did it so I could court you. You were always the center of this story. There is more to you than your constantly changing hair, though I do like it.”

  Apoca didn’t argue as her hair flashed plaid. It was a mixed case, but she was well satisfied overall.

  Chapter 13

  It Better Be You

  Nolan’s baton glowed. That meant he was back as the protagonist. He had rather thought that their story would end with Apoca’s victory, as there was nothing but routine details remaining. Why was this continuing?

  “Do you know?” he asked the batons. They didn’t answer. Evidently Baton didn’t know, and Batoness didn’t print her speech for him, anyway, only for Apoca. He was on his own. Well, along with Apoca, Vinia, and the bugs. Their Quest group was smaller than it had been, but that was fine; their mission had been accomplished.

  “We have to take Vinia back to Thanx,” Apoca said. “Also return Nimbus Nickelpede to her hive. And you still have to find a new home site for Aurora Ant.”

  “Details,” he agreed. “We shall attend to them.”

  “You had better,” Aurora said severely. But there was a curtain of humor in her background. He knew she had enjoyed the adventure and valued Nimbus as a friend. This escapade had changed all of them, including the bugs.

  Apoca smiled. “Then we can visit your Naga Kingdom so I can meet your folks, and you can court me full-time.”

  “I look forward to that. We can fade into character obscurity together.”

  “In relative privacy. I have been a trifle reticent about our personal relations, not from any caution about you but because some of what I have in mind is too hot for a volume of the annals of Xanth history. Sometimes children get hold of those editions.”

  “And our children should have brave new talents.”

  “Indeed.”

  “The green leads to the viper,” Vinia said. “But it’s admixed with purple. I don’t know what that means.”

  “Purple is a mixture of red and blue,” Apoca said. “Red means danger, blue means peace. Dangerous peace?”

  “Or a phenomenal challenge that has its rewards,” Nolan suggested. “As long as we are in it together.”

  “We’ll be together,” Apoca said. “Close together.” She squeezed his hands between hers suggestively. “You may not have known what you were getting into when you courted me. I am not exactly an innocent nymph.”

  He smiled appreciatively. “I am eager to find out.”

  “I wish you two would stop flirting and get on with our return trip,” Vinia said, frowning cutely. “I’ve got a boyfriend of my own to catch up with.”

  They all laughed. They had not said so, but handling two Dwarf Demons had had its scary aspects. It was an enormous relief to have things successfully concluded.

  They walked out to the glade and found the viper waiting. “Give us a ride to Thanx, and I will release you,” Apoca told him. The serpent looked relieved. Having one of his coils be a love slave to what would otherwise be prey was probably embarrassing. What would other awesome, toothsome, vicious serpents think?

  They rode in style back to the queendom. They dismounted, and Apoca smooched the coil with her negation kiss. Free at last, the viper launched back into the jungle, obviously glad to be rid of them. It would probably never tell other ATVs. Queen Demesne appeared before them. Vinia ran to hug her. “Mesne!”

  “There is News,” she said around the girl.

  “We succeeded in our Quest,” Apoca said. “Talents will be restored.”

  Vinia dashed off to rejoin Prince Ion, who had surely missed her.

  “Oh, they already are,” Demesne said. “Children are being delivered with wondrous talents. One can’t talk yet, but he can make cartoons in the air, little pictures with blanks where the words will be when he learns to talk. A girl can reverse the talents of others. A boy can turn anything into antimatter. Really potent talents, of types rarely if ever seen before. We’re going to have to set up a preschool just to teach these tykes caution before they inadvertently destroy things. But that’s not the big news.”

  “Not?” Nolan asked blankly.

  “It’s that there’s going to be a Demon wedding right here in Thanx. It seems that our residents Pun Gent and Ghorgeous Ghost have somehow made associations with Dwarf Demons and are eager to get married. Everyone will be attending.”

  “All the citizens of the queendom?” Apoca asked. “That’s nice.”

  “No, everyone who is anyone. Including the Demons. Like Xanth, Fornax, Chaos, and all. It seems they like ceremonies like this, where they can dress up and show off, as it were. Demons do have their foibles.” She disappeared, being a Demoness.

  Dressing up? Showing off? It occurred to Nolan that there were ways in which Demons rather resembled mortals.

  “That’s because they are learning mortal ways,” Aurora said; she had read bits of the Demon minds in passing. “Like vanity. They discovered how much fun it can be. Frivolous fun is a novelty to their kind.”

  Which in turn reminded him. “Nimbus’s nickelpede colony lives here at Thanx. Maybe your anthill would find it suitable too.”

  “I was hoping you would think of that. That way I can be close to you without advertising that I have a foolish crush on you.”

  Nolan felt a surge of realization. “I like you too, Aurora. I wouldn’t mind if you stayed with me. Not just because your telepathy is a real help.”

  “I thought you’d never ask. Not just because you can see imaginary things. Nimbus wants to stay with Apoca too.”

  “We’ll remain bugged.”

  “We will,” Apoca agreed. “Nimbus, maybe you could become the official nickelpede emissary to the Naga Kingdom.”

  “And Aurora can be the fire ant emissary to the kingdom,” Nolan said. “Besides being our friends.”

  “You two human variants deserve it,” Nimbus said. That was a compliment. Nickelpedes and fire ants seldom made friends outside their cohorts.

  They walked to the nickelpede field. Nimbus ranged out mentally and contacted their queen, Nitro Nickelpede. “Here is my friend Aurora Ant. Her colony needs a new home. Would you object to them settling in the adjacent empty field?”

  There followed a brief mental dialogue. They negotiated a mutual-assistance pact. Nickelpedes would not gouge ants, and fire ants would not scorch nickelpedes. Neither would hurt citizens of Thanx. All other creatures had better beware.

  Now all that was needed was a means to safely transport the fire ant hill to Thanx. “Ghorgeous?” Aurora called mentally.

  Immediately the potent presence was with them. Nolan was reminded that Ghorgeous was no longer a merely a ghost but the physical manifestation of a Demon. She was also friends with the bugs. “I have cleared it with Queen Demesne. I will move them here.” She vanished.

  Then, as they watched, the entire ant mound appeared on the adjacent field, undisturbed except for the abrupt change in locale. That mission, too, had been accomplished.

  Queen Antonia Fire Ant emerged and made a formal visit to Queen Nitro Nickelpede, establishing amicable relations. The ant royal guard fired a torch salute that lighted the air above the field, while the nickelpede royal guard made a serenade of clicking. It was a nice occasion.

  Queen Demesne of the Queendom of Thanx appeared. She congratulated both bug queens. Then she oriented on the remnant of the Quest. “The wedding is tomorrow. You bugs are of course invited.”

  “We’ll be there,” Aurora agreed. “With our associates.” She made a dream flash image of Nolan and Apoca.