I had been talking to this guy I’d “met” online and he was actually supposed to be meeting us here. Maybe that’s why Chloe and Trey are fighting because Chloe is kind of my wingman since the guy, Parker, is bringing a friend. Chloe assured me it was no big deal, that things with her and Trey were super casual but maybe jealousy has reared its ugly head. But this could end up working in Chloe’s favor though. So maybe she’s milking it now.

  I glance down at my turquoise Rolex Datejust watch, a high school graduation gift from JP that I still wear. But where the hell is she?

  We were supposed to meet here a half hour earlier than we told the guys to give us a chance to have a drink and prepare our exit strategies just in case.

  This was the first date I’d been on since things ended with JP and I was more than a little nervous. Not only did I feel the ache of JP every time my heart took a beat but he was the only man I’d ever been with seriously so I’d never really “dated.”

  I look down at what I’m wearing; a short black dress that hit just above my knees and hugged all my curves underneath my favorite leather jacket and I’d paired it with my classic black Jimmy Choo pumps. I was probably really overdressed for a first date but that’s just me and judging by all the women in the room, I’m the perfect amount of dressed.

  “Hi hi hi sorry!” Chloe takes the seat diagonal from me at the four-person square table and presses her cheek to mine and makes a kiss sound. “I changed four times.”

  “Why? Are you interested in Parker’s friend now?”

  “No, I’m interested in making Trey jealous and I want him to think about me on a date with another man while I’m wearing this.” She turns around for me to see the complete look and she does look hot. A long dark green dress with a slit all the way up her thigh to the point where if she moves a certain way, she may expose something. The dress is a little demurrer up top but still gives a hint of cleavage and she’s wearing her hair up to expose her neck which I’ve learned is Trey’s weakness.

  “You’re going to kill him.”

  “That’s the point.” She grabs the cosmo that I’d ordered her. “You’re a goddess.” She downs it in one gulp before looking around the room to order another. “How many have you had?”

  “This is the first.”

  “Okay we need at least one more.”

  About fifteen minutes later, Parker and his friend show up and immediately I regret agreeing to the date. I was anxious, slightly buzzed and completely freaking out over the fact that this man was not JP. All I wanted to do was end the date early and go home and stare at pictures of him while I masturbated.

  I know, horrible idea.

  My eyes fly open as I realize I barely remember that first date. Was it that unmemorable? I blink my eyes several times and sit up in the bathtub trying to rack my brain for the memories of that date. What Parker and I talked about. What we laughed about. I can’t remember much of the specifics. I can barely remember what he wore and I have half of JP’s wardrobe memorized. I remember us being there and then going home and actually using my vibrator while I thought about JP.

  Wow.

  How did I go from that to being engaged? I do remember more about the second date and the fifth and the tenth and how sweet he was and the time my car broke down after studying super late at the library and he came to my rescue because my parents were out of town and they were always my second call when I needed something after JP.

  My thoughts are interrupted by my phone ringing and I let out a sigh of relief that JP is calling finally. I pick up my phone and my heart sinks when I realize that not only is it not JP but it’s Parker and it’s a FaceTime. I wonder if I could just not answer it and say I fell asleep. No, I’m already on thin ice about not answering the phone and he seems to be wary about trusting me.

  With reason. I wince at the implication my subconscious makes that I am in fact not at all trustworthy.

  Fuck. I have to answer this.

  It’s not lost on me that I try to angle myself so that nothing is exposed for the camera. I prop my phone up against something and answer the call.

  “Hi.”

  His eyebrows raise when he notices that I’m in the bathtub and he smiles. “Hi beautiful.”

  Double fuck.

  “How are you feeling?” I ask him.

  He leans back against the pillows and lets out a deep sigh. “Like shit and I miss you. I wish they hadn’t made you leave.”

  “Oh?” I realize the only way to prevent this conversation from turning sexual is to start a fight. “You certainly weren’t acting like it while I was there.”

  “Baby, I’m sorry. It’s been a really shitty day.”

  “Yes, I know. For me too. I spent practically a day traveling only to be berated when I got here for not getting here sooner and I am so sorry I wasn’t. Believe me I wish this hadn’t happened and that you were fine and safe.” I bite my bottom lip and look away from the camera, my eyes welling up with tears over so many different reasons. “You and your mother by the way which I’ve come to expect but that’s another story, made me feel like absolute shit today.” I take a step further. “Never mind that you’re absolutely fine and I’m missing a day of classes tomorrow and had to postpone turning in my paper which you didn’t even ask about by the way.”

  “I’ve kind of had some things on my mind.”

  “Like interrogating me about my last few days?” I snap.

  “Whitney, enough I’m sorry alright? Why are you biting my head off right now?”

  “Why were you biting mine off earlier?!”

  “Because you weren’t here!”

  I let my head fall back and a groan of irritation leaves my lips. “I said I was sorry, Parker. What do you want from me? You’re going to have to let it go.” I shrug as the indifference and impatience toward Parker begins to take over. We are going in circles and I know it was only a matter of time before JP starts calling. “Or don’t. But this is ridiculous, Parker. I’m here now, alright? I’m here. This is all because you don’t trust me and…” The words are on the tip of my tongue. Words brought on by frustration and anger and a very large glass of wine on a very empty stomach.

  My phone beeps indicating I have a call coming through and I freeze when I see it’s JP and he’ll absolutely freak the fuck out if I don’t answer, knowing that I’m here by myself and wouldn’t have gone to sleep without talking to him.

  “I have to go.”

  “Wait… what?”

  “I. Have. To. Go.” I repeat each word slowly, disdain dripping from my voice. I am angry and maybe I don’t have the right to be but I am. Yes, I am in the wrong for so many reasons I can’t even keep track but I’ve never given him a reason to treat me like this. I’ve been loyal and doting and present and… have you? My subconscious sneers. Have you ever let Parker into the part of your heart that you’ve only let JP? Or have you kept that part guarded ever since JP planted his flag there?

  I huff. “I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”

  “Wait, Whitney, baby.”

  “No.” My phone stops buzzing and a moment later, a message flashes across my screen.

  Jacob: I hope you’re not asleep. I have plans for us, baby. The space between my legs begins to tingle in anticipation and for a brief second, I remember I’m on FaceTime with Parker and the facade slips as I swipe the message away.

  “Who’s texting you this late?”

  “It’s eleven p.m. in California, it’s not that late. It’s Chloe.” The lie comes out easily. “Let me guess, you’d like to see it?” I pray he doesn’t call my bluff and I’m grateful when he doesn’t respond. “I’ll be there in the morning.”

  “Fine.” His eyes drop to the bottom of the screen, which still isn’t showing anything but I assume he’s hoping that something may have become exposed. “I love you.”

  Part of me doesn’t want to say it back. Or say me too or ditto instead. Or something that would be totally out of character for me. But because Jacob has now started calling me again, I take the easy way out. “Love you too.” I give him a weak smile before I end the call without another thought.

  “Hi.” I lean forward as soon as his face shows up on the screen and I press a kiss to the camera. “I miss you so much.” I don’t wait for him to ask me why I didn’t answer when he called and texted. “Parker FaceTimed me, it’s why I couldn’t answer your calls or your texts…” I put a hand over my forehead.

  He frowns. “You answered him… like that?” he says, referring to my naked, wet body.

  “He didn’t see anything. I had the phone angled away from me and then I picked a fight so he wouldn’t ask. I got in here to wait for you.” I can see the relief on his face but he still looks irritated. “Are you mad?”

  “No.” He shakes his head. “I trust you, baby.”

  “I almost told him. I was angry and I snapped and it was on the verge of coming out and then you called me. In retrospect, I’m glad I didn’t because that’s not the way I wanted to tell him. Here in New York, on the phone and not in person, while he’s in the hospital and his parents are here and you’re there in California.”

  He nods. “Why were you angry?”

  “Because of how he’s been all day. And then you texted and he asked who it was… I’m not saying he’s not entitled to ask. But I’m here away from every single person in my life in a high intense situation. It could have been my parents or Chloe or my brother and the way he asked made it seem like I was doing something shady. And maybe part of my anger is that he can see through all of this. That he knows me so well and that’s frustrating the hell out of me because he’s not giving me the benefit of the doubt at all even though I don’t fucking deserve it.”

  “The more I think about it, I would prefer you told him while I was in the same state. He’s a little too… intense about you?”

  I blink at him. “Intense? I think he’s just insecure, JP and I didn’t know that until now. I mean, there were signs but… this is on another level.”

  I can sense the worry coming off him and I’m wondering what he means by intense. “And you’re sure he doesn’t know about our past? No off-handed comment you could have made that would have allowed him to connect the dots when you mentioned I was home and then left with me?”

  I try to remember if there’s ever been a time I mentioned Jacob or even alluded to it being someone that my parents wouldn’t approve of or something I had to hide. He eventually learned I was in a relationship before I met him but I never gave many details and I wasn’t someone who spilled my guts when I was drunk to anyone but Chloe or Mason. I had trained myself not to let myself think about JP and by the time Parker came around, I wasn’t drunk crying over him even to Chloe so there’s no chance he would have even overheard.

  Unless he went through my text messages?

  I had deleted my texts with Jacob right before I met Parker because I was still looking through them an unhealthy amount. Looking at what we were. Thinking about what we could have been. Cursing myself for getting so involved and attached. Wishing like hell he’d come back and tell me he loved me. I’d fall asleep reading his messages, letting them wrap me in a warm blanket and lull me into a fake sense of happiness and security that the next morning I’d wake up in his arms again.

  It was my final step to healing and it only took me a year to do it.

  But there were texts with Chloe if he knew what to look for but what were the chances he’d run a search for “Jacob” or “JP?” Even if he did search my texts with Chloe, he would have had to go back months to find anything and Chloe and I text twenty-five times on any given day.

  “I don’t think so.” I take another large gulp of my wine and turn my gaze to the ceiling as I try to recall anything that would have given Parker a reason to be suspicious of JP. “No.” I meet his gaze and his blue eyes are almost piercing. “Can we talk about something else? Like your date?”

  He snorts and begins unbuttoning his shirt. “As your mother said, it was hardly a date. I couldn’t focus on anything except my woman across the fucking country.”

  Warmness spreads throughout my body and particularly between my legs at his possessive words. “Is that right?”

  “Your mother is pissed at me.” He rubs a hand over his forehead. “It just didn’t feel right. I already can’t stop thinking about you and now you’re there and I was worried and even if I wasn’t madly in love with you, Georgina is not my type.”

  I roll my eyes. “Right. Gorgeous and tall and blonde and smart. Dad used to say woman was your type.”

  “Okay and now only you are my type,” he says, giving me a pointed look that I feel between my legs. “And to be fair? I’ve never really dated blonde women. If I did, I may have fought your dad for your mom all those years ago.”

  My eyes widen and I almost choke on the wine I was trying to swallow. “Okay, ew?” I blanch, realizing what that would mean. “Can we not!?”

  He laughs and I shake my head at him. I am already pushing the boundaries of my daddy issues quite enough, thank you. His bare chest is revealed and my throat goes dry at the sight making me forget our previous conversation. He moves the phone back to give me a full view of his torso as he’s laid on his bed. The bed I’d just came on this morning.

  “I wish I was there.”

  He runs his hand over his mouth and his tongue darts out to lick the skin. “The things I would do to you if you were here.”

  I prop my phone up again and move back so he can see the tops of my breasts. I’m submerged in bubbles and I know it’s killing him not to see more of me. “Like what?”

  He raises an eyebrow at me. “You want to play?”

  JP and I were no stranger to phone sex or Skype sex or sexting. We spent many nights apart doing all of the above and it’s amazing that those four words still put my body on high alert. I swallow the lump in my throat and nod my head. “Yes please.”

  “You’re going to have to show me more of your sexy little body then. Get out of the tub.”

  I bat my eyelashes at him a few times and bite down on my bottom lip. “Can I have an orgasm first?”

  “Without me getting to watch your fingers move in and out of your wet cunt?” He lowers his gaze. “Try again.”

  Despite the warm water, goose bumps erupt on my flesh and I run a digit down my slit in attempts to temper the ache. “I brought my laptop.” I knew I was going to have time on the plane to study, and I anticipated this moment and seeing JP’s dick on a larger screen is always better.

  “Even better. Call you in two minutes.” He says as he lowers the phone between his legs and grabs his dick through his jeans. “Be ready.”

  I hop out of the tub, dry off and apply some lotion as quickly as possible and I’m on the bed just as my laptop begins to ring with a FaceTime call. I place the computer between my legs knowing it’s the view JP likes the best because it gives him a view of everything. My tits and my pussy are on display for him and when I answer the call, he’s stroking his dick that’s already standing at attention.

  His eyes widen when he sees me just as I’m sure mine do.

  “Hey.” He gives me a smile so sexy it makes my pussy clench. The movement must catch his attention because his eyes drop to the space between my legs and he licks his lips.

  “Hi.” My eyes find his hand and it moves with it as he pulls at his dick.

  “Touch your pussy,” he commands me, wasting no time. “Put those fingers between those sexy cunt lips of yours and rub that sweet little clit.” I listen, grazing my nipples in the process and spread my lips to expose the wetness between them. “Fucking beautiful.” His eyes are dark and full of want as he pulls at his dick. “I’m so fucking hard right now.”

  “What do you want to do to me?” I tap my clit and he groans.

  “Jesus Christ, baby. If I were there, I’d rip you apart.” He grits his teeth as he begins to pull harder on his dick. “Play with it. The way I like it. Play with it. Good girl. Get it nice and wet.” He says through gritted teeth as his eyes stare at my pussy. “Rub your clit faster.” I do as I’m told, already feeling myself beginning to inch toward my orgasm.

  “JP…” I whine.

  “How does it feel, baby?”

  “So good.” My eyes lock with his and I bite my lip. A smile pulls at his lips as his eyes trace my face and it’s almost too intense. I drop my gaze to his dick that’s in his hand pulling harder and harder with every stroke.

  “I know it does. Let me guess, you’re thinking about my mouth, aren’t you?” he asks, a cocky smirk on his full lips.

  I lick my bottom lip, and I nod. “Uh-huh.”

  “I didn’t spend nearly enough time with my mouth between your legs last night.” He leans forward slightly and the look he gives me sets my skin on fire. “Imagine my tongue is dragging through your wet slit.”

  “Oh.” The word leaves my lips in a gush of air. I let my eyes flutter closed, and I let my head fall back.

  “I know what you like, baby. I know you like when I take it slow at first, exploring your pussy before I settle on your clit. Put two fingers inside your pussy and massage that wall lightly. That’s my tongue inside you baby, fucking you with it like it’s my cock.”

  I let out a moan as I picture his face between my legs, his thick tongue wedged inside of me. I gasp as I hit one of my spots.

  “Oh, that feel good?”

  I nod, words escaping me as I’m just trying to focus on breathing. I put a hand behind me to hold myself up as I begin to rock myself against my hand, my body beginning to build toward the peak.

  “Look at me, baby.”

  I open my eyes and stare at him as he pulls at his dick.

  “You’re so fucking beautiful.” He drops his eyes to my pussy. “Look how wet you are.” His eyes darken and I watch as he licks his lips.