Four Years Ago:

  Whitney and I have been together for about a year when she asks me that question that I’ve come to dread in the past.

  “Where do you see yourself in five years?” She’s seated between my legs as she reads a book on her kindle that I know will have her riding my dick within the hour. Not that I’m complaining. She turns her head to look up at me. I’m watching television so I take a second to mute the sound and press my lips to her temple. Usually that question sends a rush of anxiety through me. Not wanting to tell a woman that I saw myself as potentially chief of surgery at the hospital where I was currently an attending physician. A job that doesn’t leave much time for a woman or kids or any of the things that she may be looking for. I tighten my grip around her.

  “Wherever you are.” The words slip out of my mouth without even thinking. I can’t believe I just fucking said that.

  She turns in my arms and looks at me. “What?”

  Well, no going back now. I let out a sigh. “Wherever you and this pretty pussy are, that’s where I want to be.”

  “Don’t… don’t make this about sex. JP seriously? I… You see me in your future?”

  I nod. “I know you’re young and you may not—” I’m cut off by her hand over my mouth.

  “Stop.” She twists her mouth and I see a rush of tears flood her eyes. “I assumed… I mean, I thought I was your mid-life crisis.”

  I narrow my eyes at her playfully. “I am not having a midlife crisis, Whitney.”

  She cocks her head to the side and raises an eyebrow at me. “Well, you did get a new car…”

  “I hadn’t in like ten years! And I like Porsche’s.”

  “And a very young girlfriend. Those are usually the big ones. Not to mention the whole skydiving thing.” I chuckle, remembering how hysterical she was a few weeks ago, when Trey and I decided to go skydiving.

  “Well, regardless of the fact that I fit the criteria, you are not my mid-life crisis. You’re my everything,” I tell her and she launches herself into my arms and presses her lips to mine. She slides her tongue between my lips in search of mine and I meet her with the same enthusiasm, holding her to me by the back of her neck.

  “So, in five years,” she says after she pulls away and begins pressing lazy kisses down my neck. “Do you see us… you know, like with kids or… you know…” She visibly shakes in my arms and I wonder if she’s nervous to ask me about marriage.

  I smile because she’s not looking at me, her face is still buried in my neck except now she’s dragging her tongue along my pulse point.

  “Married?” I whisper in her ear. “Do I see myself married to you, Whitney? Is that what you’re asking?” She still hasn’t looked at me but I can feel her face nodding against me and I wonder if she’s embarrassed. I pull her face away and stare into her eyes. “I’ve never felt about anyone the way I feel about you. I see it all with you, marriage, kids…” Her cheeks turn pink as her eyes light up. “I don’t know how I’m going to tell Kevin and Michelle.” I sigh. “But I want to keep you forever.”

  I’m leaning against my car when I see her come out of the airport. God, she’s pretty. Wearing skintight leggings beneath a flowy T-shirt and a leather jacket, she looked like she’s coming back from a relaxing vacation. Her sunglasses are covering her eyes but as she gets closer, she pushes them to the top of her head when she sees me. She’s still the most gorgeous woman I’ve ever laid eyes on, but she’s far from relaxed. I can see the exhaustion all over her. In her eyes. Her walk. Her posture. When she gets about a step away from me, she drops her bag and walks right into my arms and sinks into them. Her face is pressed against my chest and her arms are wrapped around my back. I hold her tight to my chest, pressing my lips to the top of her head. “Hi beautiful, I fucking missed you.”

  “You have no idea.” She bites her bottom lip and looks up at me. I take her face in my hands and press a kiss to her lips. She pulls back after a few seconds before I can deepen it. “JP…” she starts. “I need you to fuck me.”

  “Well, that’s a given.”

  “No, now. I need you to fuck me, now.”

  I raise an eyebrow at her. “Where would you like me to fuck you? Here in front of everyone at LAX?” I say, looking around the sea of people in the pickup lanes.

  “There’s a garage.” She points at one of the parking fixtures behind us. She lowers her face and looks up at me with the sexiest pout on her lips. “Please, daddy.”

  I lean down so that our faces are nose to nose. “You can’t manipulate me, Whitney.” I brush my nose against hers and a sigh leaves her lips. “Once I start, I don’t plan to stop so no we aren’t fucking in a parking garage where we could potentially get caught by anyone. Now get in the car.”

  “But…” she whines and I smack her ass as I open the door for her.

  “Get in.”

  She rolls her eyes and gets in the car as I put her luggage in the back of my Mercedes. I get in the car and as soon as I do her hands are on my dick. “Didn’t you miss me?” She grabs me through my jeans and begins to rub my dick hard.

  Immediately, I can feel myself turning to steel in my pants. “Of course, I did,” I say, grabbing both of her hands in mine and bringing them to my lips.

  “I suggested sexy, sweaty, delicious car sex after not seeing each other for three days. Three days on top of three years because you and I both know that one night of sex was not enough after being apart for so long. You used to love fucking me in cars.”

  “That was when my bed wasn’t an option. My bed is an option. A bed for you to stay in all night tonight.”

  She rolls her eyes as I pull onto the highway. I can sense the tension flowing off of her and I wonder if maybe she just needs an orgasm. It’s been a long and stressful day and I know she’s a nervous flier. I look over at her and see she’s staring down at her phone looking through emails. I slide my hand across the car and onto her leg and begin stroking her gently. I can see in her periphery that she looks up from her phone and straight ahead, refusing to meet my gaze.

  “Uh uh. Don’t start that shit.”

  I don’t respond, as I move inwards and stroke her pussy through her leggings. I can feel the heat through the fabric and I push harder, doing my best to massage her clit.

  “How bad do you want to fuck me, baby?”

  “JP,” she moans as she squirms under my fingers. “So, fucking bad. I want to ride your dick so hard.”

  Fuck. I shift in my seat trying to relieve the stiffness in my dick after hearing her words coupled with feeling the heat between her legs. “Take off your leggings.”

  “What?”

  “Take off your leggings, Whitney. Don’t make me tell you again.”

  “Why?”

  I pull my eyes away from the road. “Because I’m going to finger your pussy, and I can’t believe you didn’t know where I was going with this.”

  “I did. I wanted to hear you say it.” She slides her leggings and panties down her legs and lifts her shirt, exposing her cunt. She’s already wet and I groan as her scent permeates the air. I lick my lips wishing I was about to put my mouth between her legs instead of my fingers.

  I place my hand on her thigh, stroking the skin delicately. I drag one digit lazily along the skin, careful not to get too close to the place I know she wants it and she begins moving to get my hand closer to her.

  “JP, touch me, please,” she begs. I run my fingers up her thigh to her knee and stroke the skin and she lets out a moan.

  “Spread your legs.”

  She obeys.

  “Wider,” I command and she opens her legs as far apart as they can go.

  I keep my eyes on the road, knowing that even if I cast a glance at her while she’s looking like this: wet and wanting and panting, I’d pull over on the side of the highway and fuck her mercilessly. I drag my finger back up her thigh until I’m at her sex and I cup her possessively.

  “I cannot wait to put my dick here. I’m not going to fuck you at first. I’m going to drag it through your slit and tap it against your clit over and over until you come all over it and then I’m going to slide my cock in you and fuck you while you’re still climaxing.” I drive my words home by pushing a finger inside of her while lazily rubbing her clit.

  She clenches around me the second I slip a second finger inside of her. “Oh god!”

  “Do that again. Squeeze my fingers with that sweet pussy again. My god, you’re so fucking tight,” I say through gritted teeth as I try to calm my dick that’s hardening with each passing second. “Tell me who gets you this wet, baby.”

  “You.”

  “Say my name. Tell me who the fuck you belong to.”

  “Jacob,” she pants. “JP,” she says after. “Daddy!” she cries, not sure which name I want to hear and I harden hearing all three of the names spill from her lips.

  And fuck if they didn’t all make me hard.

  “Yes, baby.” I continue rubbing her, alternating between stroking and pinching her clit every few seconds. Her pussy flutters around my fingers and a growl rumbles in my chest at the feeling. I want to feel that around my tongue. “Does that feel good? You like the way I’m touching you?”

  “Fuck yes,” she breathes out. “JP, I’m close.” She moans as her left hand reaches up to grab my shoulder. In my periphery, I see that she looks down to stare at my fingers stroking her and she lets out a whine. “God, right there. Don’t stop.” Her voice comes out rushed and breathy and I know she’s seconds from coming.

  “Good girl. Tell me when you’re coming.”

  “Like… right… there…” She starts coming, just as her phone that’s sitting in my cup holder begins to ring. Her orgasm is already moving through her but I watch her eyes flutter open.

  “Ignore it,” I growl at her, seeing Parker’s name on the screen.

  “Oh God!” She grinds her pussy against my hand. “I’m coming, fuck that feels so fucking good.” She moans as she rolls her hips the best she can to hit all of her favorite spots.

  The wet space between her legs gets even wetter as her climax takes over, and it’s so fucking sexy. I turn my gaze for a second and watch as a serene smile finds her face, and she turns to meet my eyes.

  “Beautiful.” My voice is low and full of arousal after having watched, heard and felt her come all over my hand. I pull my hand from between her legs and run my tongue over my fingers, sliding them into my mouth and tasting her flavors.

  “I can’t wait to blow you the second we’re in the house.” My nostrils flare at her words and I turn my concentration fully back to the road so I can get us there safely. In the high of the sex haze around us, we’d both forgotten about the phone call until her phone starts to ring again.

  “Fuck.” She picks up the phone with a sigh. “Hey, I just got here.” I can’t hear exactly what he says on the other line but I can tell she glances at me before looking out the window. “I took an Uber.” More silence. “Well, I was actually thinking of going to my parent’s house tonight.” She puts a hand over her eyes and pinches the bridge of her nose. “Sure… Did they say when you’re being discharged and you can come home? Tomorrow? Great.” She lets out a sigh. “I’ll see you then.” I can feel her eyes on me and when I turn to look at her, she mouths sorry. “Love you too,” she says before ending the call.

  I see fucking red.

  “JP…” she starts as soon as she gets off the phone, probably sensing my irritation over hearing her tell anyone she fucking loved them but me.

  “Not now, Whitney.” I grip the steering wheel harder and I feel her hand on my shoulder.

  “I don’t mean it. I just don’t know what to say when he says that right now.” She tells me as she pulls on her discarded underwear and leggings.

  “I still have the taste of your pussy in my mouth and you just told another man you loved him? For fucking what?” I understood formalities and maybe I was being unreasonable but the reality of the situation hits me in the fucking face again.

  She is not mine, yet.

  She winces and I can see the guilt written all over her. “What was I supposed to say?”

  “Nothing? ‘You too’? ‘Ditto?’ ‘I met someone else, and it’s over?’ I don’t fucking know, Whitney but not fucking love you too.” I knew things were complicated. I knew she was continuing to put up a facade for now, but hearing those words fall from her lips just seconds after my name had fallen from them felt like a dagger to my heart.

  Christ, how am I back here again? Completely over the line obsessed with her.

  She lets out a shaky breath. “I’m sorry. I…I’m just so sorry.” She lets her hand slide off of me and drops them into her lap and instantly I want her hands back on me. “I know it probably feels like shit, but I don’t love him. Part of me thinks I never did and that’s not your problem. It’s not your fault or your problem that I got myself into this mess. But I just hope you know how much I love you. Despite all these mistakes, you’re who I want to be with. I just need some time, JP. First and foremost, I need him to get out of the hospital.” She shakes her head. “I was going to tell him the second he got home. I was going to tell him it was over. By then, maybe we would have told my parents, and I could have been honest about everything. I would have told him about everything between us and that I never got over you. That you’ve been the love of my life for all of it, and I’m sorry that it was unfair to him but now you’re back and I can’t marry him.” She sighs and puts a hand over her eyes and when she sniffles, I know the tears are falling and all I want to do is pull her into my lap and make them disappear. “But now everything is complicated and what kind of person does it make me to break up with my fiancé while he’s in the hospital?” Her shoulders sag. “I guess the kind of person who cheats on her fiancé while he’s in the hospital.”

  I don’t say anything for the rest of the ride, letting her words sink in while also trying to rid those three words she said to Parker from my brain. I take the exit toward my house before turning down a busy street with a few restaurants.

  “You want to get something to eat?” I ask her.

  She nods. “Are you mad at me?”

  I pull into a garage and put the car in park and rest my head against the headrest while letting out a sigh. “Of course not, Angel. But I’m not happy. I’m not happy about any of this. We’re right back where we were three years ago.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “Lying to everyone and sneaking around and I think that’s the problem I had with us all those years ago. And yes, much of that is my fault, for being too much of a pussy to tell your parents but now we’re older and we can’t move forward until we tell them.”

  “I know.”

  “And we can’t tell them because you want to tell Parker first and I get that. I do. I respect that. But telling him you love him is not preparing him for what’s coming. It’s not preparing you for what’s coming.” I turn to look at her and put my hand on her cheek and she presses her hand against it. “And no, it’s not particularly my favorite thing to hear you tell another man that you love him. It’s a bitter pill that he even exists at all.” I press my finger to her lips to stop her rebuttal. “And I know I didn’t ask you to wait for me. I know.”

  She nods. “I love you, only you.” She pulls my hand away and leans across the console presenting her lips to me and I oblige, pressing my lips to hers. I kiss her with an intensity that makes me hard instantly. I kiss her the way my mouth makes love to her cunt, soft gentle strokes against her that leaves her panting when I pull away. Her brown eyes are bright when she pulls back and the tint in her cheeks leads me to believe that she’s wet all over again.

  After dinner, I take her back to her house because she isn’t sure if Parker is monitoring the cameras and it would look odd if she didn’t go home at all. “This is why I suggested sex in the car,” she says as we pull up to her house. I’m not in the driveway, so hopefully out of sight of cameras.

  “It doesn’t matter, you’ll be at my house within the hour.”

  She nods just as her phone begins to ring again. This time her mother.

  “Hey Mom,” she answers.

  “You’re home?” I hear through the phone and I watch as Whitney winces slightly.

  “Yeah, I just got here. How did you know?” She looks at me in question and I shake my head. She puts the phone on speakerphone for me to hear clearer.

  “Your future mother-in-law called me.” She rolls her eyes just as annoyance washes over me. “Imagine my shock when she told me my daughter was on her way here and I had no idea that she was coming.”

  “Uhh yeah, I really needed to go to class tomorrow.”

  “I see. Honey, your father or I could have picked you up.”

  “No need, I got an Uber.”

  “Alright, well are you home now?”

  She rubs her forehead and I can sense her irritation. “Ummm no.”

  “Well, where are you? You said you got an Uber?”

  I watch as she becomes panicked and I grab her hand, running my fingers over the skin in an attempt to calm her nerves. “I went home first. I went back out to get food.”

  “I see. Well, I’m glad you’re back safely, sweetheart.” Almost thirty years of friendship with Whitney’s mother, allows me to hear all the things she didn’t say. Why didn’t you tell us you were coming home? You really couldn’t wait another day and fly back with Parker? How are you and Parker? Where exactly are you now? Is there anything you want to tell me?

  She finishes the conversation and looks at me. “I hate lying to her. Lying to everyone about everything.” She shakes her head and lets out a deep sigh, twirling a lock of chestnut hair around her finger. “I’ve lied about so many things I don’t even know what the truth is anymore.” She looks up at me and I can see the defeat all over her. “The only thing I know for sure is that I love you.”

  I brush my hand down her face, grazing her cheeks with my knuckles. “So maybe no doing this,” I say, pointing between us, “while we sort everything out.”